The Battle For My Wallet V: Beyond the Number IV (Chapter Eighteen, p.75, 5/18)

[Yzma and Kronk]

Zzub - delightful chapter! Inappropriate touching and all.

I'm glad you made your thoughts known to Guest Services. Maybe, just maybe someone will listen. We still kinda sorta like MGM (which is what I'll always call it) but in a C- sort of way too.

 

[Frickles]

we returned from our boat ride, we got cleaned up and headed over to what was known at the time as Disney MGM Studios. The new name is so stupid, I refuse to use it. In much the same way that my wife refuses to refer to her dad’s current wife as her step mom.

Tell Mrs. Incredible that she's not the only one.

I used to love the Indiana Jones Stunt Show. I was thick of hair and thin of waste in those days. I'm neither of things now. And yet, the Indy show hasn't changed.

ded

"Where y'all from?" I asked.

"Oklahoma."

"Oklahoma? OK." I smiled.

Sadly, almost no one gets that joke.

Honestly, it took me awhile.

Truth be told: I’m the only ZZUB who trims his toenails in a hotel room.

Please tell me you don't let them fly all over the place.

And then I saw Mrs. Incredible across the room. The other Mrs. Incredible.

I married the original .

Now that is just plain out sweet!

Only while we were standing next to Mrs. Incredible, me on one side, ZZUBY on the other, I accidentally touched her. On her tushy.

WHAT would her daddy say? A little boy tries to touch the baby and you get onto him and then YOU go and touch another woman's BUM? tsk tsk.

I'm kidding with you though big guy. I hear it is really a man inside the Mrs. Incredible suit.

I slid my hand under Jan’s thigh and was rubbing it with the top of my hand. This couldn’t have gone on for more than a few seconds when I realized what I was doing and yanked my arm away from her

She must have just eaten potato salad. Or a Pop Tart.

I walked in and gave the exceptionally pleasant Guest Services CM a succinct summary of my day’s long rage. And she did what anyone in her job should do, she asked me in a pleasing tone, “Mr. ZZUB, what can I do to make you happy right now?” I told her I wanted my day’s admission back.

I am shocked. I mean seriously shocked. Disney loses the keys to my car when I valet park and I get a round of drinks and a cab ride. That is it. You don't have a lot of fun visiting MGM and you get a round of park passes for another day? I seriously need to take some lessons from you.
I think I need a yoo hoo.

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

Zzub - thank you for another great Monday morning read. Your family is very lucky.

 

[Liz]

You had to end with a Mike Huckabee reference? Now I have to go to work with a bad taste in my mouth!

Hillary's accent isn't real???????

Have you ever tried the Beauty & the Beast show at MGM? Maybe Zzuby would like that! It does sound like your day was pretty crappy so I'm glad Guest Services helped ya out!

 

[samc]

great installment zzub..........so much to quote but no time....we'll be landing in Orlando in 48 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[anna_chronistic]

I used to love the Indiana Jones Stunt Show. I was thick of hair and thin of waste in those days. I'm neither of things now.

So you are full of waste now? Well, I suppose everyone who has visited the Canada bathrooms would agree with you...

And ... ew. I just grossed myself out.
Srsly though, another interesting, if eyebrow-raising, installment.

Never woulda pegged you as an inappropriate toucher. Just one of the seven new things I need to learn before lunch, I suppose.

I am curious, though. I have some friends (annual passholders and one former cast member) who also refuse to use the new name for the Studios. Why is that?

 

[alldiz]

Ok you had me completely ...with your inappropriate "touching"
problem.

Great chapter.
thanks
Kerri

 

[UtahMama]

“Just so you know, the next show at Playhouse Disney isn’t until 3:40,” spit Patty of the Paducah Pissytoes.

I turned back to her, turned away and turned back again. In her head I could hear her thinking, “Yeah, looking at me. Good come back.”

Sadly, it was all I had.

Nothing in the chamber to unleash.

But you thought of sump'n later, I'm sure.

I was redder than red. My face burned it was so red. I apologized eight gabillion times and Jan, to her credit, was nonplused by the whole affair. You should pardon the expression.

Take this advice from me: if you ever meet me, keep your distance. Chances are I’ll touch you. Inappropriately. But on accident.

I have this ailment too! I once firmly goosed a man thinking it was my DH! I know this RED of which you speak

So I reckon it wasn’t a totally crappy day after all.
___

My last two crappy days, in various trips, have both been at MGM (or whatever it's called)...but I agree there were some truly un-crummy moments each time that were worth the trip.


Thanks for making my SuperBowl-junk-food-hangover day a lot nicer!

 

[Sleeping*Beauty]

I assure you, it was totally an accident. In my defense, her backside is large enough to be the subject of a rap song.

Thanks, I can know see Mrs.Incredible in a 50 Cent video.

 

[ZZUB]

You let me down Z. Though I did get quite a few chuckles over the inappropriate touching episodes, your inappropriate dissing (not DISing) of the Pats and your Boston area peeps has me numb. NUMB I say!!!!!

It wasn't at all inappropriate dissing of the Pats. ZZUB grew up a Dolphin fan. Sorry you're numb. Try some cider.

Way to work it!!! You obviously know where your next meal is coming from!!!

Indeed I do.

We still kinda sorta like MGM (which is what I'll always call it) but in a C- sort of way too.

I reckon we don't completely hate it. It's not Six Flags. But it's still a half day park at best.

Honestly, it took me awhile.

Really?! You don't say.

I hear it is really a man inside the Mrs. Incredible suit.

NO WAY! Are you serious?!

Have you ever tried the Beauty & the Beast show at MGM?

Actually we have. I seem to remember years ago seeing it and thinking it was pretty good. But the last time we saw it in 2003, it had changed and we found it less enjoyable than a high school production of Grease.

 

[Motherofboys]

Ahhh...from inspiring and sentimental ZZUB to all-out funny ZZUB....love 'em both!

I'm really shocked that a good and proper Southern boy like you is an accidental butt brusher though

Loved the "Patty Rodham-Pissytoes" Can't wait to read the next installment.

 

[EEyorelover22]

I do not believe DD14 will ever get over the name change of MGM. She is annoyed. She goes into a rant about it now and again. She feels the same about the new fairies. "It's all about the money...."

 

[dismorgh]

Great installment, ZZUB!!!

So some random thoughts.

Sorry Ash, but the Pats simply did not play like a championship team. Not saying the Giants are better, but they certainly were last night! Go Giants!

Anywho, so some inappropriate touching for you. Tsk, tsk. Well, at least you turned red and apologized. Some would have acted like it never happened, and tried to fool themselves out of it.

We also look at the studios as mostly a half day park. Just not enough to keep your interest for very long. Maybe they'll look at fixing that in the future. Time will tell.

Hmmm, thought I married the original.

 

[nicolemarie]

It’s not what you think.

This chapter has nothing to do with cutting the cheese.

We need the warnings for the GROSS installments. Not the funny ones.

Can anyone explain what Rock n’ Rollercoaster is doing on Sunset Boulevard next to a period specific Hollywood Tower Hotel?

At least it's not like Animal Kingdom. Or Magic Kingdom. Or even Epcot. Where the two biggest FP attractions are MILES away from one another.

It may not make thematic sense, but it darn sure makes MGM doable in less than a half day. More like an hour and a half day.

As planned, we headed towards Pizza Planet because I read somewhere that the food was pretty good.

Well did you agree with what you read, or not? Because although we're all here for your wit and excellent writing skills, we'd also like any Disney tidbits we can get. The NMs have never eaten there.

I don’t know when the woman does it.

She doesn't. The folks at the spa do it for her.

Duh.

It was one of those times where someone is talking, telling a story perhaps, and others are joining in adding details and everyone is laughing and having a great time. It’s the most relaxed I’d been in a very long time. Too relaxed I suppose. My arm was leaning on the love seat and although I was looking at my wife across the room, apparently I was completely disengaged. Because I slid my hand under Jan’s thigh and was rubbing it with the top of my hand. This couldn’t have gone on for more than a few seconds when I realized what I was doing and yanked my arm away from her faster than the New England Patriots could burn their "Perfect Season" t-shirts and caps. I was redder than red. My face burned it was so red. I apologized eight gabillion times and Jan, to her credit, was nonplused by the whole affair. You should pardon the expression.

I'm sorry I quoted that whole thing. But I'm just SO DED!!!

DED!!!

I actually had my lower back patted by a friend's husband a few weeks ago. He was completely embarrassed, but glad he caught himself when he did. Because his hand was headed for my backside and not my lower back. He was umpteen shades of red and apologized for the next two hours.

Do you live in Georgia?

She gladly offered us one day passes we are free to use whenever we want. She also offered us a handful of other things, none of which we were interested in because we were leaving for dinner. But I thanked her for hearing me. Or at least making me think I’d been heard.

WOW! I'm seriously impressed! Who cares if she heard you or not? Free one day passes?

I'm more numb than Ash.

The high point of that day, no exaggeration, was the ninety minutes we spent at Pizza Planet. Lunch was good

That's what I get for skimming.

ZZUB, this was another great installment. I read it this morning, but just had time to get back here and respond. You have an uncanny ability to make the normal sound hilarious. It's what keeps us all coming back.

 

[LouDisney]

Another great update!
I always laugh out loud at least once reading your reports. My co-workers look at me like I am crazy sometimes, but I don't care.

 

[brandt79]

LOVE the big block of cheese reference. You know why.

"Oklahoma? OK." I smiled.

O-K L-A H-O M-A ... OklahoooooooooMA! (One of my favorite musicals)



And I agree with you on MGM. Or Hollywood Studios. Or whatever it's called.

But for us it wasn't even a half day - on the last 2 trips we've completely missed going there at all. It was planned. Light yellow on the spreadsheet. But when it came right down to it, neither one of us really felt like going. Because we just don't enjoy enough there to make it worth the bus ride.

 

[CJsMom]

A new Zzub chapter! A ray of sunlight in an otherwise dreary sky over the Northeast this morning! I was laughing, for the first time today. Until you had to remind me of why I'm so gosh darn depressed. You just had to go there, didn't you Zzub?

There's always next year - right AshClan?

 

[ZZUB]

Thanks for making my SuperBowl-junk-food-hangover day a lot nicer!

Glad I could help. I'm having to eat carrots and celery.

I'm really shocked that a good and proper Southern boy like you is an accidental butt brusher though

An accidental butt brusher. How much would I hate to see THAT on my tombstone?!

I actually had my lower back patted by a friend's husband a few weeks ago. He was completely embarrassed, but glad he caught himself when he did. Because his hand was headed for my backside and not my lower back. He was umpteen shades of red and apologized for the next two hours. Do you live in Georgia?

No. Is your name Jan?

I always laugh out loud at least once reading your reports.

Alright, I give: what made you laugh out loud?!

LOVE the big block of cheese reference. You know why.

No, why?

Here are some pics from our day in shark infested waters:

I took this while waiting in line to be told I couldn't use my Key to the World card.

I found this in the exit of the animation deal. I wondered where they moved it to.

Here's the window for the tailor.

And here's a big block of cheese.

 

[Mrs Banks]

I am enjoying your report and thanks for the photo of the block of cheese.
Nothing like a block of cheese to lift your spirits up when your beloved team LOSES. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!



Looking forward to more ZZUB Fmily Adventures in Disney.

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

Boy oh Boy the Studios gets a bad rap. I hammered it on my report and I've read in at least four others in the past few weeks of people having it at the bottom of their list.

We go for half a day also.

I grabbed his arm and said, “don’t do that!” By now the woman who unjustly allowed herself to be called his mother, found her child and sneered at me as she took him away.

Yeah, I’m a bad guy because I won’t let your precious little angel (of death) paw my six month old daughter.

I love Disney World. It’s like an episode of Growing Up Gotti.

They'll just let anyone in these days!!

“Just so you know, the next show at Playhouse Disney isn’t until 3:40,” spit Patty of the Paducah Pissytoes.

Disney employees are getting ruder and ruder I swear. This would have never happened 10 years ago.

“My computer’s down. You’re gonna have to pay cash.”

Honk Honk. Here we go again.

The high point of that day, no exaggeration, was the ninety minutes we spent at Pizza Planet.

Uffda. That's sad.