Yes, I found him. But in order to teach my five year old responsibility, I threw him away. Thats why shes crying.
And then I "accidentally" hit him in the head with my Gary Coleman sized carry on bag as I walked by. We walked over there and then an employee told us to walk to the Contemporary/Wilderness Lodge/Grand Floridian queue. He handed ZZUBY her first sticker of this trip.
I was sick with anxiety about what kind of room we were going to get stuck with. I stared through the tv screen which kept flashing Magic Express in and out. In and out. I was stewing. Eventually, the video started and it would have taken my mind off my silent rage but for the lack of volume. Roger Wrong couldnt bother to turn up the sound. So we stared at the pictures and read the captions. And stewed some more.
Eventually, I recognized that I was worrying about something I couldnt control and my attitude was pretty bad. I asked the Lord to forgive me and asked Him to give me a measure of peace as we waited. Because we would get the room we were supposed to get. I mostly calmed down and started to enjoy the humid ride.
As we entered Disney property, Roger Wrong, began showering us with trivia. In what I'm sure he thought was a really good Disney monorail voice.
It really wasn't.
I was crawling out of my skin wanting to correct this numbskull. It was like some kind of personalized Disney Nerd Hell. Put me on a bus to Disney World that never arrives and force me to listen to some jerkstore prattle on about incorrect Disney trivia.
But Im experimenting with letting people be wrong even when I know theyre wrong. So I didnt tell Roger Wrong how far he overshot annoying tour guide.
And I didnt need to hear anymore.
I knew right then we had been upgraded to a bunk bed room.
I knew right then that we got the room we were supposed to get. And not the room we paid for. Or deserved.
Even though I booked a standard room, God provided a better way for us. Because Hes God and He likes to bless His children.
I was so excited and relieved and humbled by this upgrade. I couldnt wait for ZZUBY to hear that she got her bunk beds, but since I wasnt the one who made it happen, I didnt want to tell her. I did not want to take any of Gods glory. And if she heard the news from me, she might be inclined to think Daddy made it happen for her.
He ran down some information but I didnt hear any of it. I was too busy thinking about how cool God was.
I walked out on the balcony to see our view. And I immediately noticed what God had done. We were exactly opposite of the room we were in the year before. She caught my meaning.
And she started to cry. I hugged her tightly for a while and then walked her back into our room. And instead of jumping on the beds or turning on the TV, we held hands with our five year old and we thanked God for providing all that He had. From the baby being well, to our safe travel, to our on-time flights, to our easy check in, to the gate agent giving my daughter a new stuffed animal, to our upgraded room, to the opposite view, to the basket filled with goodies from our friends. It was overwhelming and amazing. And the opposite of what we anticipated.
And we walked around saying, Thank you, Lord. Thank you so much for this. I walked back out on the balcony and took some pictures of the Lodge from the other side.
We were at the Lodge for a week. I began every morning on that balcony, praying and reading Gods word. And every morning I think I was more enamored of the view of the opposite building than the view of the pool or the water. Dont get me wrong, the view of the water was great. Its just that when I was sitting out there praying, I was more mindful of where wed been just a year ago. And where we were now.
Today would be my sons birthday. If my son had lived. October 8, 2006 was the day Samuel was to be born.
I didnt realize how depressed I was last year at Disney World. Until I sat down on our balcony that first morning. We knew things werent right last year, but until I sat on a balcony across from where I sat a year before, I didnt fully grasp how depressed I was then.
And how unburdened and free I felt now.
It occurred to me that our trips to Disney World truly mark our lives. We go back there and walk the same Mainstreet, ride the same rides, and in this instance sit on the same balcony. We cant help but see it through a split screen. The then and the now. I considered just how profoundly God had moved us out of that season into this one. So very different than the one before. The distance from the balcony across the courtyard to where we were now wasnt very great. In feet. Even in time, it had only been a year.
But the distance between what I looked at the year before and what I was looking at now . . . well, I reckon I dont have the words to describe the difference.
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) I have the toughest time reading and crying at the same time. I look forward to every report. All I can say is please continue to go on these trips and do the reports. It is so refreshing this day and time to see someone that has such a great faith in the one true God and doesn't mind sharing their beliefs. Our prayers go out for you and your family. We feel like we have shared all of the things your family has been through. You have been truly blessed and in turn we have too, just by your sharing with us. For that, I thank you. 
for another chapter. 
