Chapter Four: 100 Minutes
It seems like every trip to Disney World brings some new revelation. I learn something new each time. There was the trip that I learned about the discount codes and why a membership in the now defunct Disney Club was a good investment. There was the trip we discovered our favorite Disney meal: Chef Mickeys. The trip we discovered why staying on-site is worth the extra money. The trip where I found the closest bathrooms on Mainstreet. The trip we discovered the joy of the PORiverside cheese steak. The trip we discovered it rains in the Little Mermaid. The trip we discovered the ZippaDeDooDah channel. The Trip I discovered the Disboards.
And this trip we discovered that no matter how much you plan, you just cant control the world.
At least I cant.
I had a well-made plan. We were going to arrive at Wilderness Lodge no later than 10:00. We were going to check in and drive to the Polynesian to feast on that singular culinary delight known as Tonga Toast.
If youve never had Tonga Toast, never experienced the gastronomic pleasure that exists for one brief period each day, then youre not properly equipped to understand why people fight in wars to defend our way of life. Tonga Toast. A combination of bananas, cinnamon, bread and other stuff so fantastic you think you died and are banqueting in the halls of Heaven.
Indeed, if Heaven doesnt have Tonga Toast, I dont wanna go.
I also dont want to go if Alabama cant play football like they did in the old days. But really, thats another story.
So good is the Tonga Toast that if I had to choose between Alabama ever scoring another offensive touchdown or having only one more bite of Tonga Toast, Id probably choose the Toast.
You understand Ive learned to live without Alabama scoring offensive touchdowns.
Its been a hard year. Few years.
So I planned for my family to begin our vacation in Disney World not with a dinner at Chef Mickeys but rather with a late breakfast (a brunch if you will. I wont) at Kona Café. We were to arrive at the lobby of Wilderness Lodge early enough so that my request for a bunk bed room had some hope of being granted. I read the Disboards. The ridiculous bickering which takes place on the resorts board. So I knew that if I wanted an upgrade I needed to check in early.
Plus that would allow us to savor some Tonga Toast. Begin our trip on a high note and all that.
But our Disney Eve was a night like no other. And because we didnt leave as early as I wanted to, as early as I planned to, we were going to miss the Tonga Toast. We were also going to be unlikely to receive an upgrade.
Quite honestly, I wasnt worried about either of those things. I was sad about potentially missing the Toast, but we had a second ADR for later in the week. I wasnt even that concerned about missing out on a bunk bed room for my daughter.
You know this well: when you spend a night in the emergency room and you think youve lost another child and you wake up in the morning not even sure youre going to Disney World, getting an upgrade isnt all that important. I would have stayed at The Travelodge at that point.
No I wouldnt either. I hadnt completely taken leave of my faculties.
But when we left my sisters driveway at 1:10 pm, I was just glad to be in the rental car and on our way. The drive is roughly 100 minutes (if nothing else demonstrates my nerdiness, the fact that I know its 100 minutes as opposed to 90 should underline the point). For at least the first half of the drive, I wasnt sure we were going to stay more than one night. In fact, we talked around what happened if after we checked in my wife started to have further complications. Once we had something of a loose plan in place for that contingency, I relaxed a bit.
But not much.
I had so many things on my mind. It felt like the rental car was packed not just with bags and food but worry, sadness, fear, anxiety and way in the back, under the case of Yoo Hoo, was excitement. Frankly, it was very crowded in there. Anxiety was elbowing sadness and fear kept staring at excitement so excitement was whining the whole time.
Are we there yet?
Indeed.
But. An interesting thing occurred the closer we got.
I remembered who I was and where I was going. By the time we exited the Turnpike and hopped onto Osceola Parkway, there was palpable anticipation in our car. Like normal again. We were going to Disney World.
Which meant that I started worrying about those darn bunk beds. Yeah, spend a night in the ER, worry that weve lost the baby but get me close to Disney World and I turn right back into ZZUB. Which was both comforting and scary. Like Katie Couric delivering the news.
So as we drove I was fixated on the time. It was fifteen minutes until 3:00. 3:00 is check in time. When the non-informed show up. I was going to get stuck in a line behind people who paid rack rate. And had no ADRs but still thought they might have lunch in the Castle one day.
What are those mugs everyones carrying around? Can I get one? -- those were the people I was going to be stuck in line behind.
I could feel myself getting keyed up. I get a little nervous at check in because if you get the wrong room, your trip could be ruined. Checking into a Disney Resort is a bit of a crap shoot. Or so Ive been told. Ive never actually played craps. But I read things. So you have to check in early to get your choice of rooms.
Ive never gotten the wrong room by the way. But I read things.
So although its never happened to me, I wasnt taking any chances. I drove faster. And as I drove I was arguing with myself in my head. My neurotic, paranoid, Disney-nerd side started a unilateral, pre-emptive war with my rational, faithful side.
Its almost 3:00!! Youre going to get the worst room they have and youre whole trip will suck worse than the last episode of
Seinfeld.
It doesnt matter that were getting there late. There are no really bad rooms at Wilderness Lodge. What matters is that everyone is ok and we were all together at Disney World.
But it
does matter, you idiot! No lousy rooms?! Did you not read MommyPoppins Trip Report?
It doesnt matter
that much. After everything weve been through, who cares where our room is? Theres nothing you can do about it anyway
The war in my head continued unabated. It was a quagmire, another Viet Nam There was a move to cut and run. Then I was reminded over and over (and over!) to stay the course.
Finally my rational side dropped this smart bomb, Well be there soon enough. Ten more minutes and well see what weve got.
But five words threw a honking huge monkey wrench into the fragile cease fire.
Daddy, Ive gotta go potty.
Peeps or poops? I inquired, because my daughter likes to abbreviate.
Poops. I really gotta go!
How bad, Sweetie? Were almost at Disney World.
Really bad, I dont think I can hold it, she said with a sense of urgency I was familiar with.
Very familiar with, by the way.
Can you hold it another few minutes until we get to the hotel?
Daddy, I caaaaaaant.
I shouldnt have, but I looked at the clock on the dashboard. I shouldnt have but I wondered whether she really couldnt hold it another few minutes. I shouldnt have, but I thought we just needed to get to the Wilderness Lodge.
But my rational, faithful side won that battle, too. I could sense the Lord telling me to trust Him and take care of my daughters needs. I felt both convicted and peaceful all at once. I spotted a KFC up ahead on the left and I may or may not have flexed a few traffic rules to get there quickly.
And while my wife and daughter took care of business, I took this picture. This was our car for the week. I rented a midsize and had my choice and picked this because it looked nothing like a white Chevy Malibu. Also, I thought my daughter would think it was fun. She was nonplused. My wife said it looked like something out of a cartoon. Still, if you havent yet discovered Mousesavers, let this convince you that its time. Mid sized for a week: $79. Not a misprint. Not an exaggeration. With confiscatory taxes and surcharges it was $112, but thats still a darn good deal for a week.
It took a very long time, but eventually they came back.
And we were underway. Again. Oddly enough, although we were hours behind schedule, I wasnt worried anymore. I saw this last detour for what it was: an object lesson in trusting God with our plans. I knew everything was going to be ok no matter what room we got. Maybe there is something to this strategy of staying the course.
Finally, in the distance we saw this.
As we drove up to the arch, I had the unbelievable sensation that we had just completed a marathon. Which is really strange because Ive never run in a marathon. Never even walked in one. I dont even like walking to the mailbox. But there we were, breaking through the ribbon as it were. I noticed my wife was looking happy again. There wasnt a trace of fear in her eyes either.
Then across Disney property, through the Magic Kingdom gate and hang a right. The Wilderness Lodge. We pulled under the porte-cochere and I sprang from the car. The valet met me at my car door and asked if we were checking in.
Yes, we are, I said with a little too much pride. Were not just eating here this time, I thought to myself.
He began helping me with the 800 bags we had crammed into the car. He asked me if we were the LaLas hed read about on the Disboards because hed never seen this much stuff.
He got it all loaded onto a cart and gave me a slip for our stuff and another for our car. He said some other stuff too, but I swear I was drunk on the smell of the Wilderness Lodge.
We walked into the lobby, my wife, daughter and I, hand in hand. I've been in the lobby of the Wilderness Lodge several times and always thought it was amazing. It's pretty awe-inspiring to look at.
My daughter spotted the tv and pulled up a chair and my wife sat there with her watching cartoons. There was no line at check-in. Evidently even the uninformed people who pay rack rates and dont make dining reservations had already moved in. But I wasnt worried.
I walked up to the counter where I was greeted by the nicest cast member, Helen Happytohelp. I told her my name and she started doing that thing they do where they type a mile a minute.
Is there any chance we can get a bunk bed room? My daughters been asking the whole way here, but I told her we might not get one. Also, my wife is 11 weeks pregnant, if you can get us close to an elevator Id appreciate it very much.
Well, its pretty late in the day . . .
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