"That's gay"

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

So we all know the saying that ignorant people use when there is something stupid or dumb. I am straight but I have very stong feelings for gay rights so when I hear this, I do actually point them out on it. Afterwards I usually end up thinking, ok, so this didn't do any good at all. For curiosity's sake, is there something that you (you being a homosexual person) do when you hear this or do you just let it go?

ps ~ A descression...nothing here was meant to be insulting, but it's early for me and you never know houw you're going to come across when you're writing!

 

[urbanator]

I guess I don't even notice it, i've become kind of immune. I actually say it myself from time to time, so I guess I'm part of the problem. I don't think I know anyone that uses it pejoratively, since most everyone I hang out with is gay or lesbian anyway.

Back in school it used to bother me though. In high school I would put things down by saying "That's so straight."

BTW- What up, Buffalo! I live in the Elmwood Village.

 

[Saxton]

Words can only have power if you allow it to happen. Personally, I tend to ignore it because typically the speaker is someone with limited intelligence and they aren't likely to understand the negative connotation. If I try to point out that it could be offensive then the response is usually that they didn't mean it to refer to sexuality. I also remember that the meaning of the word gay has has changed over time - at one time gay meant happy and carefree.

Urbanation - is that you? Why the name change and where have you been??? Welcome back.

Wow - 3 Buffalonians! Very cool.

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

Hmmm...so what I have learned is that there are 2 ways to unite Buffalonians...gay feelings and the taste of Florida water...I knew these boards would be a learning experiance!

btw-urbanator-I'm from Williamsville. But nobody knows where that is!

 

[urbanator]

Yes, it's me theurbanation....but I couldn't remember my old password and it was getting screwed up when I tried to get it sent to me....so I kind of just made a new (albiet related) name.

hidmickey- Of course I know where Williamsville is! I just try not to leave the city too much so I never go there....

 

[MissMichelle]

To the OP, I am also straight and have heard people say it and start to get offended, but have heard 3 of my gay friends use it also..I have a male gay friend from work who will say "No way,that's GAY", and I used to look at him like "***?" , he explained it is just an expression as well as when people say that is retarded (which I hate also) and that's stupid...dumb...phat (change the spelling to slang and it isn't FAT it's good?? LOL) etc...
I don't offend easy..I just like people to think before they speak, wrong place wrong time you can really hurt someone's feeling unintentionally!

 

[CrazyChik]

oooppsss sorry i have been guilty of that in the past i never been it offensively its just what most people use in my school for saying stupid or rubbish which i is offensive(understanably) to gay people sorry i have nothing against gays i have gay friends on here and at school please dont kill i beg for mercy i dont often say it dont shoot

 

[PghLybrt]

It drives me nuts!! It is insulting, even my sister (who has from time to time had girlfriends of her own) uses it!!
I think I find it more infuriating than calling me a list of other names (which I will not write but we all know what they are) because when the other names are used they are purposely trying to hurt.

 

[CrazyChik]

I guess I don't even notice it, i've become kind of immune. I actually say it myself from time to time, so I guess I'm part of the problem. I don't think I know anyone that uses it pejoratively, since most everyone I hang out with is gay or lesbian anyway.

Back in school it used to bother me though. In high school I would put things down by saying "That's so straight."
BTW- What up, Buffalo! I live in the Elmwood Village.

good one but not all straight people have problems with gay people

 

[rigs32]

4th Buffalonian here.

I call people on it if I know they will hear me. Meaning, if they will respect me enough to not just walk away, even if they disagree. I get one of two reactions, 1) sorry, I'll try not to say it *around you* anymore or 2) I don't mean it in a bad way. Then what way do you mean it? I also get a smattering of defensiveness with about 50% of either reaction. That I understand, it's embarassing to get called out. I just explain that it's offensive and I don't appreciate it.

 

[Psychometrika]

Context means everything. We could certainly find better ways of expressing ourselves (as a society) but it really is context. The gay community uses terms like queer, "that's so gay", yada yada - and it isn't meant to hurt. Yet the same thing has been yelled at me out of the window of (what else) a pickup truck with a gunrack from some moron driving up to the Wal-mart church - that is offensive and innapropriate. There are some who complain about "political correctness". It's not that simple.

I am only a member of two minority groups, but I would imagine terms that were used as offensive are also picked up and become part of the the language in many minority groups.

As an aside, in Chicago one of the crazy folk potentially running for mayor (himself an African American) called other African Americans in the Daley administration "House N...." and "Field N...." It wasn't the majority groups who came down on him, but several African American ministers. Everything in context. It really doesn't take a rocket scientist to distinguish tone and meaning.

 

[wdwjoeman]

I totally agree!

 

[MrVisible]

I try and use humor to defuse, or at least confuse the situation.

"That shirt is so gay."

"It's only attracted to other shirts?"

 

[Saxton]

4th Buffalonian here.

Another one! Four Buffalonians ... that's almost enough to build a signature span and start some waterfront development (as long as it doesn't take away from WDW vacations!).

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

Another one! Four Buffalonians ... that's almost enough to build a signature span and start some waterfront development (as long as it doesn't take away from WDW vacations!).

Hahaha . We could build us a cassino and almost form our new Bills team!

 

[PghLybrt]

I just wanted to point out that, yes, even here on our DIS that word is thrown around quite a bit…… from what I learned from another thread “real men” will not wear crocs because it makes them look gay…but hey as the poster said no offence was intended……..


Seriously? then why say it?

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

I just wanted to point out that, yes, even here on our DIS that word is thrown around quite a bit…… from what I learned from another thread “real men” will not wear crocs because it makes them look gay…but hey as the poster said no offence was intended……..


Seriously? then why say it?

You do pose a very good point.

 

[Scissors4Franky]

when someone says "thats gay" i say "so, its straight man gay?" and there all "what?"


straight-man gay is "stupid" gay, and gay-man gay is literaly gay, beacuse when us gays say something is gay, we usualy mean it.

my opinion here peeps.

 

[StormTigger]

when someone says "thats gay" i say "so, its straight man gay?" and there all "what?"


straight-man gay is "stupid" gay, and gay-man gay is literaly gay, beacuse when us gays say something is gay, we usualy mean it.

Okay.. now that's funny!

 

[Scissors4Franky]

Okay.. now that's funny!

Glad someone agrees with me