Thanksgiving Vent

[DawnCt]

My DH has been in Kuwait since Sept. We have four sons. My friends and neighbors have been very supportive, asking if I need anything heavy done, help with transporting kids, etc. I haven't required a thing but it has been wonderful to have them ask. I have also received several Thanksgiving Day invitations, however, none of them have been from my husband's family who live within 10 miles of our home. Nor have they offered any help or support . Four years ago, I took my neice, who was 9 at the time to Disney World with our family. My SIL asked me to take her son on another future trip. I agreed. Since then, my BIL and nephew have gone on golf trips, beach trips, baseball games, etc and have never reciprocated with even an invitation to the movies. Our four boys and I decided that the best way to get through Thanksgiving was to take a five day trip to WDW....by ourselves. I would have considered inviting my nephew however, due to the fact that they only call me if they want something, I have decided not to. Any good answers for my SIL when she asks me what I am doing or did on Thanksgiving Day? The inquiry, I am sure won't involve an invitation.

 

[snoopy]

No advice, just a {{{hug}}}. I cannot imagine what it must be like for you to have your husband in Kuwait. How insensitive of his family not to include you.

 

[Dan Murphy]

I would just tell her you went to WDW and had a good time at the World. {{Hugs}}

 

[aahmom1]

How sad Just be honest with her and tell her you're going to WDW. If she has the gall to ask if you'll take her son, just tell her this trip is for you and your sons only. If she has even more gall to ask you why, just tell her the truth. I can't imagine leaving my SIL to fend for herself while my brother was in Kuwait, they should be ashamed.

 

[Disneyaholic]

Just out of curiousity -- what is your relationship with your husband's family when your husband is home? Do they put on a front of being close when they're really not? Do you spend holidays with them if your husband is home?

Do you think they're intentionally slighting you or just not thinking?

I agree. Go to WDW and have a wonderful time. You certainly don't owe any explanations. Maybe they'll actually get the hint?

 

[AirForceRocks]

I agree, just go with your sons, and have a great time.

I find it absolutely atrocious that your DH's family hasn't even extended an invitation or an offer to help while he's deployed.

 

[DocRafiki]

If she has the gall to ask if you'll take her son, just tell her this trip is for you and your sons only.

...and then if you want to be mean, insert a little passive-aggressive comment about how rough it's been and how lonely you knew T-sgiving would be if you stayed home, without FAMILY being there and all.

 

[Tiggerkeeper]

You go to WDW and have a wonderful time. When anything is said just tell them that you and your boys needed to be together! Nuff said!! Shame on them!! This is our first holiday without our Marine and the three of us have declined invites because we need to be together just us.

My prayers are with you and your family for the holiday season I know it is hard.

TK

 

[aahmom1]

...and then if you want to be mean, insert a little passive-aggressive comment about how rough it's been and how lonely you knew T-sgiving would be if you stayed home, without FAMILY being there and all.

Took the words right out of my mouth Doc.

 

[newmousecateer]

{{HUGS}} I am sure you and the boys will have a good time at WDW.

Sorry about the family not inviting you and the boys.

 

[DawnCt]

Originally posted by Disneyaholic
Just out of curiousity -- what is your relationship with your husband's family when your husband is home? Do they put on a front of being close when they're really not? Do you spend holidays with them if your husband is home?

Do you think they're intentionally slighting you or just not thinking?

I agree. Go to WDW and have a wonderful time. You certainly don't owe any explanations. Maybe they'll actually get the hint?

I expect very little from my MIL. She has her favorite grandchildren and they have never our children. She is blatant about her favoritism and exercises it in front of our kids since they were very little. Examples I could give you, you would find horrifying. I have no disappointment there. His sister is very much her mother's daughter, they live two miles from us and we never see them unless we run into them by accident. She did call my DH and say goodbye. Again, I have no expectations in that direction. My BIL and his wife however, are usually in touch with us...when they are sick, when their kids have an ear ache, when they want to swim in the pool in the summer, when they need advice, and I have still gotton calls for that sort of thing while DH has been gone...just no offers of assistance (which I don't need but would be nice). His cousin and his cousin's wife however call me on a weekly basis despite their very busy, (they travel on business) schedule. I have made a couple of comments to my MIL about how wonderful they have been. The only family my kids have around are the inlaws. My parents are deceased, my brother is deployed overseas with Special Forces and his wife live out of state (although I am faithful in calling her and their children on a weekly basis.

 

[minniecarousel]

I can't even imagine NOT inviting a relative for Thanksgiving dinner! And in light of your husband's duty, you'd think they'd be a little bit sensitive. Go - and try have fun. (Good luck on keeping your cool when you talk to them.)

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well we are taking off for NYC so my responses have been, 'I just need a break'...'It is a great time for a vacation with just the four of us' (btw all of these are true)

aka "I not cooking for you guys this year!!!"

And you know, I have never been more relaxed at a holiday in a long time...ahhh So get to the fun of planning...

Happy Turkey Day!!!

 

[mamajoan]

Gee Whiz Dawn I was hoping your DH would have returned from his Deployment soon. Hang in there, it is tough..

I don't think you need to explain anything to anyone.. If they ask about your Thanksgiving plan, Simply reply "The boys and I are going to WDW, it is stressful when dh is gone and we need to have some fun".. If the rude inlaws request that you take one of their kids.. say "Insert name here....have been on lots of outings with you all, my kids are going to enjoy this trip with their Mom."

I hope you have a great vacation!!

 

[kejoda]

First off Dawn THANK YOU the sacrifices you and your family make for us can never be repaid but are apprieciated non the less.

As for your family tell them where to go. I speak from exprience. I've had to do this with my brother and sisters in the past year. Not easy but when relationships are a one way street you eventually get to the dead end. If she ask tell her where your going, if she wants to send her kid tell her no and then tell her why. You might get lucky and she will change her ways but don't count on it.

Its their loss.

 

[DawnCt]

Originally posted by DocRafiki
...and then if you want to be mean, insert a little passive-aggressive comment about how rough it's been and how lonely you knew T-sgiving would be if you stayed home, without FAMILY being there and all.

Thanks Doc, I think I want to be mean! Awesome!

 

[helenabear]

Dawn, as others have said, I would simply tell her the truth if she asks. You don't owe them anything more than that. Best wishes to you and your family. {{hugs}}

 

[DeborahB]

Hi Dawn, I hope you and the boys have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday at WDW. I'm sorry to hear your DH is still in Kuwait.
Sorry also to hear about your in-laws being so thoughtless during this time. Families can be such a pain. So insensitive. I am however a believer in what goes around comes around.
It's great that you have a happy relationship with your sons.
When will your husband be home, do you have any word?
Have the best time you can!


Debbie

 

[Buckalew]

I agree with the others--thank you for your familys sacrifices and your DH's service to our country.
How sad that they treat (you) and your boys like this.
Thanksgiving is a time for families and you are taking yours to WDW. Her son can stay home with HIS family. I hope you all have a wonderful, magical time at Disney!

 

[beansmom]

jeez, I even invite my ex to dinner on T-day. My hubby doesn't mind. What a bunch t*rds these people are. Sorry, but, man, how selfish. Sounds like MY sister.

IF they ask, tell them you are going to spend it with the people you love most...your sons. No other explanation needed.