Thank You card Etiquette

[MemoryMakers2669]

I would say I am middle of the road on sending out Thank You cards. Like the kids have a birthday, we send them out. My MIL sends me TONS of checks for every reason...I just say it to her anymore, no cards! Just can't afford that many.

My SIL, who actually sleeps in my house every year, wakes up with us on Christmas Morning, we exchange gifts, etc. A week later, I get a thank you card for the Christmas gifts. I, personally, don't get this! We were together, she SAID TY to my face, no need for a card IMO. She, I am sure thinks I am the rudest of all rude because I don't send them back.

NOW, to my question, I was given a card, with small gift card for a coffee shop, for my birthday from a friend. I thanked her VERY much right then and there (I was surpised honestly). I don't remember ever getting a card like that before ( I mean they come in the mail or from family, but never a casual friend in person).

Do I need to send a Thank You card out to her as well?? I guess there is nothing wrong with sending one, but I don't normally send them out.

 

[KimR]

Well, people probably think I'm terribly rude, and I'm no ettiquette expert but my take on it is this: if you are given the gift personally and thank the person at the time, there is no need to send a thank-you note. Wedding and baby showers are the exception to this, though, and I also send thank-you notes for new baby gifts. We do not send thank-you notes for kid's birthday gifts if the gift is given in person although quite a few people do. That's why I'm wondering if we're thought of as rude. Of course we do send thank-you notes for gifts we receive in the mail. SO, if it makes you feel better by all means send a note, but I wouldn't feel obligated.

Oh, and can I borrow your MIL? I'll even send the thank you notes!!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

i dont send thank you cards out in that situation either!

 

[Todd&Copper]

I do not send thank you cards when I open the gift in front of the giver and thank them then and there, and this is correct according to Emily Post.

 

[Patty3]

I believe in sending thank you cards when the gift is not given to us in person. No matter how many checks my MIL would send me, I would send her a thank you for every check. I get upset with my DIL when she receives a check in the mail and she does not send a thank you card or even call to say that she received the gift. My inlaws sent her a very nice check for Christmas and she never acknowleded the gift. My son and DIL are divorced or I would be talking to him about this. I told my inlaws that if she can not show her appreciation for the gift, do not send one next year. My inlaws do not have alot of money and this was such a generous thing for them to do.

 

[powellrj]

I also consider myself middle of the road on thank-yous, because when my kids have birthday parties with kids from school I don't have them send thank-yous to the kids, but I do always make them send thank-yous to all adults that give them gifts.

My side of the family is very into thank-you cards. We send them to all of our family and we always get thank-yous from my SIL.

Dhs family never sends cards. We have never gotten any kind of a thank-you for any kind of a gift we have sent which includes weddings, showers or anything but I still make my kids send them to all of DHs family.

I would send a thank-you because I even send a thank-you when someone takes me out to lunch.

 

[lillygator]

I'm probably a weirdo, but I send thank you cards....even if we opened the gifts in front of the giver.

 

[rt2dz]

We do thank you notes, even when the gift is opened in person.

I'm really shocked at the number of people who don't do thank you's or have their kids do them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they were thanked in person, but a lot of kids/young adults don't know they are supposed to send thank you's for graduation gifts, wedding, and shower gifts (or gifts received through the mail) because they never sent thank you's for the everyday occasions or simply just never taught how to do them.

I'd rather error on the side of caution than risk offending someone. I even send thank you's when someone just does something really nice. Heck, I DO appreciate it, might as well let them know. And who doesn't like getting a nice note in the mail?

I know I'm a little old fashioned in this regard. Probably the only way I am. But, I think it is a nice, thoughtful tradition that shouldn't be pushed aside simply because it is inconvienent or seems repeative. But that's just me. As far as getting them, it wouldn't end any friendships.

 

[aprilgail2]

I'm probably a weirdo, but I send thank you cards....even if we opened the gifts in front of the giver.

No I don't think you are weird. We send thank you cards even if it is opened in front of the person, I feel that is the polite thing to do.

 

[ElizK]

I think etiquette rules say send a thank you. Do I do it every time? No. I try to do it more often than not, though. People usually appreciate it.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I've recieved thank you cards, thanking me for thany you cards. Now that's over the top.

I send thank you cards to anyone I don't see when I recieve the gift, usually within a week.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I always acknowledge a gift with a personal note - even if I opened it in front of them.

I also write notes for parties, balls, dinners, etc that I am invited to - just a thank you so much for having me/us etc.

Kids should always thank others for their gifts. If not, that would be the last gift I sent until they grew some manners.