Terrified my toddler will be homesick & won't be able to sleep

[ellypres]

Hello everyone,

I was hoping for some advice about this. I booked our first ever family trip to Disney for 10 days. My DD is 5 and will be okay for the most part. DS is 2 and is super attached to Grandmom. He sleeps with her everynight. She won't be coming with us. DH has been blaming me for booking our trip for too long, he thought 5 or 7 days would have been much better. My reasoning was we won't be back there again for another 2.5 to 3.5 years (I am expecting #3) and wanted to stay awhile.

DH is afraid our DS won't eat (he is a super duper picky eater who NEVER eats when we go out anywhere for the day -- mall, etc., he'll only eat at home) anything the entire trip and also won't be able to sleep because of the strange new place AND because Grandmom won't be with him. Actually, DH is terrified of it and now I am too. We are planning to bring his pillow, blankets, his bunny (security blanket) and some familar toys with us, but we we're afraid it wont be enough.

Could you offer some suggestions on what else we can do? I have tried to set up our ipads to do Facetime with Grandmom while we are gone but it won't work for some reason! I can teach Grandmom how to use the ipad as its easy enough but there's no way she can use a desktop (using the mouse).

DS is a cranky little guy with quite a temper (he gets it from my dad). He had really bad eczema from infancy until recently (switched dermatologist). The poor kid hardly got any sleep the first 1.5 years of his life, he would wake up scratching himself most nights and it kind of shaped his temperment because he was always so itchy and very very miserable. He's better now but DH's valid concerns have me going from being excited about our trip to dreading it...

 

[ebradley23]

I would start working with him now to break the bad habits he's formed. Most kids will not starve themselves. If he gets hungry enough, he'll eat. Maybe try easing him into it by having picnics outside at a park. It's not noisy like a restaurant, but it's not home.

As for sleeping, I would also work to have him sleep in his own bed. You could put him in a toddler bed with grandma on a mattress on the floor until he falls asleep. Slowly start moving the mattress further away from his bed each week. I would also not have her stay there all night. Just lay on the mattress until he falls asleep. It's not going to be fun to sleep train him at this age, but with consistency and commitment it can happen.

 

[chris31997]

Another thing you could do is bring something with Grandmom scent on it. He can sleep with that.

For eating, you know what he eats. You can order those foods, have a grocery deliever, use snacks to your advantage(healthy, will eat ones )

 

[ancestry]

I agree with ebradley23. It sounds like the best way to handle this is to change the habits he has formed. The best thing would be to get him used to sleeping in a bed by himself and not with grandma.

If I can be honest -- if I was in your position (and I have raised four of my own kids and several others that aren't mine) I would either postpone the trip until he is older or would consider leaving him home with grandma so the rest of the family can get some together time. You want your memories of Disney to be positive ones and if he is miserable, not sleeping, and not eating right -- everyone is going to be a wreck. In my opinion Disney is way too expensive to chance having a frustrating experience for 10 days straight. At 2 years of age you can't rationalize with him like you might be able to do with an older child.

 

[Three cats]

I agree with ebradley23. It sounds like the best way to handle this is to change the habits he has formed. The best thing would be to get him used to sleeping in a bed by himself and not with grandma.

If I can be honest -- if I was in your position (and I have raised four of my own kids and several others that aren't mine) I would either postpone the trip until he is older or would consider leaving him home with grandma so the rest of the family can get some together time. You want your memories of Disney to be positive ones and if he is miserable, not sleeping, and not eating right -- everyone is going to be a wreck. In my opinion Disney is way too expensive to chance having a frustrating experience for 10 days straight. At 2 years of age you can't rationalize with him like you might be able to do with an older child.

 

[mamawee]

I would maybe bring one of his grandma's sweaters and put it on a pillow, and then also have a picture of her that he can hold.

I agree with the others to start now though, or it is not going to be fun. Disney is overstimulating at the best of times, but a toddler that is not sleeping will make it even moreso

 

[oneprincessjo]

You know your child best... but we just took my 2 year old in January. She typically sleeps in her own bed but on the trip she slept with me and dh, I was worried about what would happen when we got home, but she went right back to sleeping in her own bed without an issue. So maybe your son will sleep better in bed with you and dh. My daughter is super picky about eating as well. Only once or twice did she actually eat in restaurants, we just set her up with some toys and coloring while the rest of us ate. We listened to her cues and when she was ready to eat we stopped to get her a snack, sometimes the only things she wanted was popcorn or grapes or a hot dog, but we made sure to find it just so she would eat something. We know at home when she's extra picky she will eat soup or ravioli... so we brought several cans with us and before we would go to our ADRs we would try to get her to eat one of those especially if she was having a bad food day where she wanted nothing. Surprisingly most of the meals she did eat were character meals... like pp said a child won't starve themselves, they will eat when they are hungry... . The most important thing is not to get frustrated if he doesn't eat at a restaurant, he WILL eat later. We were there for 2 weeks and honestly there was only one instance that my daughter melted down and got very angry and upset... considering the length of time I'd call that a victory. Good luck and try not to worry.

 

[shm_helene]

This might not work for your particular situation, but, we did a "dry run" before we went. We spent two nights at a hotel to see what we needed in order to be successful. This might help....

 

[Betty Rohrer]

as pp said, I would try a weekend away. spend a couple of nights at a near by hotel. sightsee that area and eat out. it will help your young one to realize that you can go away and return. do you have a way to send pic over the internet? if so have your child pick out a couple each night or at dinner to send to grandmother, so she can see what he has done that day. I second bringing something that she gives him to bring. could be a piece of clothing or a pillowcase that she uses. also a trip to WDW will wear him out so he will be ready to sleep at night

 

[Aliceacc]

I agree: I would start to transition him away from sleeping with grandma before the trip.

Could you record a message from Grandma on your phone, telling him how proud she is that he's such a big boy, and just knowing what a great time he's having at WDW? Maybe even have her read him a bedtime story? If he's tired enough, that may be enough to get him to sleep.

Perhaps even give him a job to do for Grandma; (something VERY achievable, like counting Hidden Mickeys, or perhaps getting grandma a key chain.) Shift the focus from "I miss grandma" to "Here's what Grandma wants me to do." Could she maybe get him a disposable camera so he can take the pictures he KNOW she'll love? (And get one for your older son too, don't leave him out on any of this. He needs to know that Grandma loves him too!!)

Ultimately, when he's hungry enough, he'll eat. And when he's tired enough, he'll sleep (though he may drive you to drink before you hit that point!)

And, big picture, this will be healthy. None of us will be here forever. While I'm hoping his grandma (and my mom, while I'm at it) will live to be 100, there's no guarantee on that. So he needs to learn to get by without sleeping with grandma. Disney World is a great distraction from not having her by his side.

As to your husband's issue with the number of days-- whether it's 5 nights or 10 won't matter. This is something that will be setteled in the first few days of your trip, not the last few.

But know that it may be a difficult transition. Be prepared to stop what you're doing at any particular point in the day and head back to the resort for some quiet time. Invest in, or bring, a stroller; he can get some power naps when he's tired enough.

 

[set1208]

Another suggestion would be to have him walk a lot during the day, swim, run....get him nice and tired so that maybe he will just crash at night.

Sleep training would be a good thing to consider. I have four kids and have done foster care, much like a previous poster, and it is challenging but not impossible.

If you have a picky eater, one thing to try is only offering healthy and nutritious foods at scheduled meal and snack times without grazing. You'll have better luck getting him to eat what he needs to be eating if he's not filling up on crackers and snacks. Just keep him hydrated with water and you'll do great.

I'm so sorry that you're having such anxieties about your trip. Maybe you and your DH can just plan on taking turns staying back at the hotel with him while the other takes your older one out tithe parks for the day. With 10 days, you'll have plenty of flexibility to switch off for a day or two to give him some down time.

 

[LilyWDW]

Start now of breaking him of the habits he has been allowed to form. Why does he sleep with grandma every night? Why won't he eat anywhere but home? Is there a medical reason or just because that is what has been allowed?

The breaking of these cycles needs to start and soon. BEFORE the trip. Because it is just going to cause more headaches down the road.

*Note: this is all based off of an assumption that there is no medical reason for the food aversions and issues eating away from home such as sensory problems*

 

[ktlm]

Garden grocer delivers to the WDW resorts. I would suggest getting on garden grocer and ordering foods he will eat and having them delivered to the resort when you arrived. Dd was picky and that is what we did when she was 2. If she didn't eat her meal in the parks, she would just eat something in the room at night or in the mornings. After a long day in the parks, DD was always to tired to care about the different bed or anything-I've heard a lot of kids are like that, they just go right to sleep there. Also DD was a high maintenance temperamental 2 year old, and she was much better behaved at WDW than she was at home so maybe you will get lucky.

 

[henry72]

I agree with many of the other posters - start working on some of these things now. I don't think sleep will be that much of a problem after the first day as he will be tired. My kids went to sleep so fast at WDW!

I would also pack snacks of things he likes. Either bring them in your suitcase or order from Garden Grocer. He won't starve.

My DD also has horrible eczema as a baby/toddler and we too gave into her since she was so miserable a lot of the time. (Amazingly she is always the happiest child when she isn't scratching.) We put her on a low dose steroid when we go to WDW so that she won't itch by being exposed to any allergens there. (She has food and environmental allergies that exacerbate her eczema.) It helps a lot with making her comfortable.

 

[J'aime Paris]

Start now of breaking him of the habits he has been allowed to form. Why does he sleep with grandma every night? Why won't he eat anywhere but home? Is there a medical reason or just because that is what has been allowed?

The breaking of these cycles needs to start and soon. BEFORE the trip. Because it is just going to cause more headaches down the road.

*Note: this is all based off of an assumption that there is no medical reason for the food aversions and issues eating away from home such as sensory problems*

This.

 

[kohlby]

How would he do sleeping with you? That would be my suggestion - have him sleep with you on vacation and try it before leaving as well. (Or transition to that). It may not be Grandma, but you're his mother so chances are great that you provide a great deal of comfort too.

As for his eating, I do have two kids who would have starved themselves at that age if I fed them whatever. They both have sensory issues. How would he do with drinking? If you know he'll drink, then focus on that. Try to find things he will drink that you can take with you or buy there - whether premade smoothies or pediasure.

 

[Lupeix]

You know your kid best but I second the recommendation of trying to get him to sleep on his own before going. Maybe on a toddler travel bed or pack and play, something you can take with you or will be similar to where he will sleep while at Disney. Not sure how much time you have, I won't try this until you have 6 weeks or more to go.

My experience on traveling alone with my son is that Skype with dad (to whom he is very attached) actually makes things worse. I go on vacation to visit my family once a year, often without DH, and the best bet for me is to keep him super busy and entertained all day so he does not even ask about dad.

We went to WDW with our son last year when he was 2 1/2, and he has quite a temper and got really picky after he turned 2. I did sleep train him but it was really hard and he has always resisted naps. Before we went we watched the free DVD you can get from Disney about the parks 100 times, plus pooh (his favorite) and Mickey mouse clubhouse. He recognized Cinderella's castle as soon as we entered MK and even asked for a couple of rides by name (Dumbo!). I scheduled the crystal palace first thing and although he is a very picky eater he was so exited to have lunch with Pooh he even ate really well. We brought PB&J each day with us in case he won't eat anything, but kid menus at Disney have the foods most kids like or will be happy to accommodate a request as long as it is not too crazy. This is a vacation, so if he wants to only eat chicken nuggets PB&J and ice-cream (or whatever he does eat) for 10 days straight, make sure you can get that and it will be fine. That's what my son did. Regarding sleep, after unsuccessfully trying to do "bedtime" the first night we where at Disney I decided that the best thing was to let him nap on strollers/car seats and pass out of at the end of the day. Bring/rent a good napping stroller but let him walk around as much as you can so he can get tired, chances are he will be so exhausted at the end of the day he will sleep at least 8 hs. As a last resort, you may want to consider letting him sleep with you while over there as well.

Try to get him pumped up about going, think positive reinforcement. Is there any Disney character he loves? remind him frequently he is going to see him. Talk about the trip and the rides and show him what they look like (youtube is great for this!). If he is looking forward to the vacation he will probably have a great time. If you make him super exited about Disney he will be so exited to be there he may not even ask for grandma. Good luck!