Telling kids about Santa

[SnoWhiteRabbit]

MIne are believers...DD10 (grade 4), DD 8 (grade 2) and DS 6 (grade 1). I think the older two may have suspicions from time to time, but they enjoy believing and I love it! I love the magic of Christmas....

 

[Narnia]

My kids don't believe in "santa" they way most do. We have read to them about the real santa"saint nick" and how he love jesus and gave toys and money to poor families( he actually gave money so that daughters could be married off). The kids also know about how wonderful writers came up with santa being fat and flying on a sled. It doesn't take the magic out of christmas it adds family time and less stress. So far out of 5 kids 11.9.7.6.3 only one has ever asked for a christmas gift and that was a hermit crab?? We still see santa at the mall but he isn't in our house . We do have a tree and presents but not stockings because they get treats attached to thier tons of gifts. BTW by the time my oldest DS was in kindergarden the kids found out about santa not being real. A few of my relitves got mad at me but DH grew up with this type of christmas.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I like how Narnia explains it with the real St. Nick. It may not be Santa Claus in the way we all know him, but the ideal is still there.
My DS8 has asked me if Santa was real and I replied, What do you think? and he says, yes. So he's starting to catch on, but hopefully not yet.

 

[crisi]

Everybody at our house believes in Santa! Occasionally, one of the children has come home and said such and such at school said there is no Santa. Well, I tell them what a pity that is, because Santa represents love and the magic of giving to others at Christmas. As long as you have that love and magic in your heart then Santa is real, if you don't, then he isn't real. In my heart I believe Santa takes many different forms, not than just a jolly fat man in a red suit. My 12 year old always says, "I believe Momma, I believe." and I tell her I do to. And I do.

If you don't believe, you don't receive.

That's a hard concept for most autistic kids to get though - usually, abstractions are hard and they need simple "yes or no" sorts of answers.

 

[dzorn]

What do you mean NO SANTA!!

OK back to the discussion.

That's a hard concept for most autistic kids to get though - usually, abstractions are hard and they need simple "yes or no" sorts of answers.

That really is too much of a generalization. Every autistic individual is unique just like every person. Some can grasp concepts certain concepts some cannot.

DD9 (autistic BTW) still believes and I have no intention of telling her. From talking to the kids in her 4th grade class I would say the majority of them still believe.


Denise in MI

 

[mikkiwikki]

That's a hard concept for most autistic kids to get though - usually, abstractions are hard and they need simple "yes or no" sorts of answers.

Juuuust a clarification - Thats a BIT of a generalization.
Autism is a spectrum condition - meaning some kids are severely affected, and others not so much. not all kids on the autistic spectrum only cognitively understand yes/no. I know what you meant but I just think its important to clarify, that each person with autism has different strengths and weaknesses....generally speaking abstractions CAN be hard. but not always - and definitely NOT with all concepts. My son has some very abstract concepts that he is wayyyyy above grade level at...and others...below grade level. There are a scattering of skills commonly. What is very common is "splinter skills" real strengths, scattered with some definite deficits.

Son 8 ASD - I have no intention of ending his childhood anytime soon. I do cringe at the thought of him hearing from someone else tho.

 

[LovePug]

I had a situation a few years ago where DSD had just turned 10 in October and we were going on our first WDW trip in December. The trip was going to be the majority of her Christmas presents from us. Also, her father was out of work and would not be able to provide any presents at his house. She was used to "Santa" coming to both houses. I didn't have the heart to just tell her, so, when she brought "Santa" up shortly after she turned 10, I said, "Oh! Didn't you know?!" She said, "Know what?" I said, "Once a child turns 10, he/she drops off Santa's list because he has more babies being born every year to deliver to and he can't deliver to everybody forever. Why do you think we don't get gifts from Santa?" That made perfect sense to her and I didn't have to be the one to tell her. It also covered for the situation at her father's house. I know it was the coward's way out, but...

 

[cjackearl]

Ok, I have quite an end of innocence experience related to this very topic. This summer, my DD(10 almost 11) came downstairs and asked me, "Mom, can 2 women make a baby?" I said, "No, honey." She said, "I didn't think so, but wondered." I decided then that it was time for "the talk" since she's going in to 5th grade when they get information in health class about boys and I definitely wanted to be the one to give her correct information. We made a breakfast date for the next morning and that's settled. Anyway, I head upstairs, lamenting the fact that my little girl is growing up way to fast to my DD(9) who is sitting on the couch. She turns to me and asks, "Mom, is Santa real?" What is in the air tonight?! Anyway, as a pp said, we talked about Saint Nicholas and we also talked about how no, Santa isn't real, but it's so fun to pretend. Luckily we still have a 3 year old so we can all keep Santa alive for his sake.

 

[brockash]

My DS is 6 and has kinda questioned it a couple of times (basically he doesn't get how Santa can fly everywhere in 1 night.) I have always just talked him into it, but he lets things go easily. I kinda feel bad that I'm lying to him, but I'm (yes I know that's selfish) not ready to have him not believe anymore. I know he's still pretty young, but he'll be in 2nd grade next year, and I hope he's still able to believe then too. It's just so precious, and I don't want him to grow up too fast. I'm not sure when I'll admit it to him. It'll probably be when he kinda figures it all out. I think I was about 9 or 10. Oh they grow up too fast

 

[crisi]

What do you mean NO SANTA!!

OK back to the discussion.



That really is too much of a generalization. Every autistic individual is unique just like every person. Some can grasp concepts certain concepts some cannot.

DD9 (autistic BTW) still believes and I have no intention of telling her. From talking to the kids in her 4th grade class I would say the majority of them still believe.


Denise in MI

That's why I said most. I do understand autism is a spectrum disorder. In fact, I was talking to a friend who is a PhD psychologist who specializes in autistic kids and he wishes we had a series of diagnosis for them because the range is so huge and the kids can be so different - to lump them all in "autistic" makes everything he has to do harder. But I'll stand by "most autistic kids have a difficult time with abstraction." For some - this difficult time can be worked through if you choose. For others, they just don't get it, and often feel cheated when words don't quite mean what they are supposed to. And, of course others have no problems with abstraction at all.

 

[dzorn]

I had a situation a few years ago where DSD had just turned 10 in October and we were going on our first WDW trip in December. The trip was going to be the majority of her Christmas presents from us. Also, her father was out of work and would not be able to provide any presents at his house. She was used to "Santa" coming to both houses. I didn't have the heart to just tell her, so, when she brought "Santa" up shortly after she turned 10, I said, "Oh! Didn't you know?!" She said, "Know what?" I said, "Once a child turns 10, he/she drops off Santa's list because he has more babies being born every year to deliver to and he can't deliver to everybody forever. Why do you think we don't get gifts from Santa?" That made perfect sense to her and I didn't have to be the one to tell her. It also covered for the situation at her father's house. I know it was the coward's way out, but...

I love it but Santa gets something for everyone at our house even the Dog!

Denise in MI

 

[lntsmom]

"The True Story of Santa Claus". It explains the history of the tradition, how Santa is a reflection of God's generosity and love for us, and how we can become Santa for others.

When you think it's time to tell your son, if you are Christian, you could get a copy of the book, or a similar one, and tell your son that this is a very special Christmas, because he is old enough now to know a wonderful secret. You might consider some sort of a family activity...sponsoring a child on an angel tree or a whole family if you can affort to...to help him play out his role. Maybe even buy him a Santa hat to really get him in the mood!

Good luck!

 

[jtopp]

How old is your son? About second grade seemed to be the last possible year for believing - I'd delay it about that long if he isn't there yet.

My kids figured it out on their own, but if I had to tell a kid, I'd do the same speech we gave as a confirmation speech, just turned around.

"I have a grownup secret to share with you. You are old enough now to know some grownup secrets....this one has to do with Santa Claus.....do you know who Santa Claus really is? Its Mom and Dad - and everyone else's Mom and Dad, and anyone else who wants to be Santa. Would you like to be Santa this year? You can be Santa for (insert local charity of your choice). Now, remember, this is a grown up secret - don't tell anyone who doesn't know or is younger than you are."

Thankfully, my children do not have autism. However, that is the most eloquently worded explanation I have Ever heard. I only wish that I could have worded the explanation as thoughtfully as you did. To this day, my DD20 refuses to be up when we put gifts out as Santa for my DS10.

 

[fortheluvofpooh]

subscribing

 

[karynnix]

I know that you have all been waiting with baited breath to see what I decided to do!

I am going to leave it alone and let them find out when they do. I love the ideas that you all gave, and I have several in mind to use when the time comes.

 

[goofybabe2001]

Why are we in such a hurry for our kids to grow up? My daughter is now 10 and has ask about Santa and we keep coming up with great ways for her to keeps believing.Secret phone calls from santa to letters to even reindeer tracks in the yard .....lets keep them kids as long as possible because the rest of the world sure isn't doing anything to help. If they keep believing be thankful that they still are somewhat innocent at heart still.Believe me I know my daughter knows more about the world than I know she knows. I would give anything to go back and still really believe that santa was really real.

 

[dislal]

What do you mean NO SANTA!!

Wow I am 36 and I still believe I think it is what is in your heart. DD10 and DS8 still believe even though sometimes I wonder about DD10. I have told DD13 that if she tells the other two she will not get anymore presents from santa so that is a good incentive for her to keep helping them believe and it works out for both of us

 

[holden]

Wow! This thread has been interesting. This summer our DD5 came to us and said, "Tell me the truth. Is Santa real?" I tried to avoid and answer by saying, "What do you think?" I dragged that type of repsonse on for a while until she looked me in the eyes and repeated, "Please tell me the truth mom. Are you and Daddy Santa?" She had been questioning the whole thing since last Christmas. I have no idea why. The wheels must have been turning in her little head. I asked her if someone told her that mommy & daddy were Santa and she said no. I did tell her the truth but also explained the whole spirit of Santa idea. Well see how she reacts this Christmas when the budget will be tight and she will know who bought the gifts...

 

[mrsbert]

Why are we in such a hurry for our kids to grow up? My daughter is now 10 and has ask about Santa and we keep coming up with great ways for her to keeps believing.Secret phone calls from santa to letters to even reindeer tracks in the yard .....lets keep them kids as long as possible because the rest of the world sure isn't doing anything to help. If they keep believing be thankful that they still are somewhat innocent at heart still.Believe me I know my daughter knows more about the world than I know she knows. I would give anything to go back and still really believe that santa was really real.

Yep, we've been creative too. We actually caught Santa in the act of leaving presents two Christmas's ago on our digital camera. My sons took the pictures to school to show all the nay sayers.
BTW, my DH plays Santa every year for daycares, retirement communites, etc. We told my DS10 this year and he wants to help. He still says he believes though. It's been hard getting the outfit and accessories in and out of the house each time DH has a gig...

 

[clarigirl]

You can always use the approach that my dad used on me. I can remember asking him ( or telling him ) that I knew there was no Santa. I can still remember him saying that if there is no Santa then you shouldn't expect to get anything for Christmas from him.
I never mentioned it again. I am 33 and still can't wait to see what I get from Santa when I am at home with my parents. When my 10 year old mentions it to me, that will be my response as well to her.