Telling kids about Santa

[karynnix]

My DD has been saying this year that she has Santa all figured out and knows that it's me and Daddy. That's fine and I knew that it was coming. Not upset at all. The trouble that I am facing is my DS. He has autism. If I don't sit him down and tell him, he will just go on believing forever. I don't see any problem with him going on believing, but I don't want for him to get laughed at in school or find out the truth from someone else. If he is going to know the truth, I want for it to come from me. So my question is, how did you explain it to your kids?

 

[crisi]

How old is your son? About second grade seemed to be the last possible year for believing - I'd delay it about that long if he isn't there yet.

My kids figured it out on their own, but if I had to tell a kid, I'd do the same speech we gave as a confirmation speech, just turned around.

"I have a grownup secret to share with you. You are old enough now to know some grownup secrets....this one has to do with Santa Claus.....do you know who Santa Claus really is? Its Mom and Dad - and everyone else's Mom and Dad, and anyone else who wants to be Santa. Would you like to be Santa this year? You can be Santa for (insert local charity of your choice). Now, remember, this is a grown up secret - don't tell anyone who doesn't know or is younger than you are."

 

[karynnix]

How old is your son? About second grade seemed to be the last possible year for believing - I'd delay it about that long if he isn't there yet.

My kids figured it out on their own, but if I had to tell a kid, I'd do the same speech we gave as a confirmation speech, just turned around.

"I have a grownup secret to share with you. You are old enough now to know some grownup secrets....this one has to do with Santa Claus.....do you know who Santa Claus really is? Its Mom and Dad - and everyone else's Mom and Dad, and anyone else who wants to be Santa. Would you like to be Santa this year? You can be Santa for (insert local charity of your choice). Now, remember, this is a grown up secret - don't tell anyone who doesn't know or is younger than you are."

Jack is in 5th grade. I love the way that you worded that! Awesome!! Thanks so much! Anyone else?

 

[MMmomto5]

I have an autistic dd (Asperger's syndrome), who is 10 and she is the same way. My 9 y.o. son is really questioning the whole thing, but anytime he brings up the possibility that it's mom and dad delivering the goodies, my dd cries. There are only a handful of kids in their class that don't believe, so I could probably keep it up for another year, but am torn too. Dh wants to spill the beans, but I think it will be very hard and confusing for her, and right or wrong, hurting your kids feelings is hard, ykwim?

I like the previous posters idea about making it a grown up secret. It makes them feel more involved and less focused on the let down.

 

[eeyoremum]

How old is your son? About second grade seemed to be the last possible year for believing - I'd delay it about that long if he isn't there yet."

Wow 2nd grade? My DS14 didn't figure it out until grade 7, a little old I know. My youngest DS9 (grade 4) still firmly believes. Personally I don't see why kids have to give up on childhood early.

 

[karynnix]

Wow 2nd grade? My DS14 didn't figure it out until grade 7, a little old I know. My youngest DS9 (grade 4) still firmly believes. Personally I don't see why kids have to give up on childhood early.

I don't want him to give up his childhood early either, but he would be more upset if he found out from someone else that we weren't telling him the truth. Children with autism are more focused on facts and can be confused by others very easily.

 

[crisi]

Wow 2nd grade? My DS14 didn't figure it out until grade 7, a little old I know. My youngest DS9 (grade 4) still firmly believes. Personally I don't see why kids have to give up on childhood early.

My daughter's first grade class had a 'religious war' between the believers and the non-believers. I think for most kids, its hard to keep the secret, and since about half the kids figure it out by second grade and want to show off their knowledge, it takes a lot of putting your fingers in your ears and saying "la la la la la la" (and putting up with teasing) to choose to believe.

My baby sister had my parents snowed until she was twelve. We knew she stopped beleiving at six, but she didn't let on to Mom and Dad believing Santa would stop.

 

[karynnix]

My baby sister had my parents snowed until she was twelve. We knew she stopped beleiving at six, but she didn't let on to Mom and Dad believing Santa would stop.

Yeah, my 11 year old niece told my sister that she believed last Christmas..."just in case"!!

 

[amberdansmom]

My DD has been saying this year that she has Santa all figured out and knows that it's me and Daddy. That's fine and I knew that it was coming. Not upset at all. The trouble that I am facing is my DS. He has autism. If I don't sit him down and tell him, he will just go on believing forever. I don't see any problem with him going on believing, but I don't want for him to get laughed at in school or find out the truth from someone else. If he is going to know the truth, I want for it to come from me. So my question is, how did you explain it to your kids?

My DS is 9. He will be 10 come June. He has Autism as well. He still believes in Santa. I'm fine with that. My DD is 10. She will be 11 come April. As far as I know (and I have been probing) SHE too still believes in Santa. I don't remember when I figured it out, but should that matter? They believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth fairy too. Who am I to burst their bubbles? Why take that inocence away before they are ready? Sure, they will find out sooner or later. Whether it be fromt he kids at school, older cousins, or whatever. I don't see the harm in them not knowing the truth. I have a hunch that my DD DOES in fact kind of know, but my DS does not at all and That's fine with me. There is so little anymore that kids can get joy out of. I know my SIL cried and cried when her son was told by his older brothers about Santa. Everyone has their own oppinion on this matter, that's just mine.

 

[amberdansmom]

Wow 2nd grade? My DS14 didn't figure it out until grade 7, a little old I know. My youngest DS9 (grade 4) still firmly believes. Personally I don't see why kids have to give up on childhood early.

I agree

 

[K and K's Mommy]

My son was in third grade last year, and he still believed. It seemed like all of his friends did too. He has one friend with Aspergers who I know was over here talking about Santa. If my DS figures it out this year (which would be the year I did), I will tell him to not talk about it with this friend.

 

[Schmeck]

I know a 19 year old who told me that he'd ask Santa to bring him a new computer, as it was too expensive for his mom to buy.

 

[eeyoremum]

I don't want him to give up his childhood early either, but he would be more upset if he found out from someone else that we weren't telling him the truth. Children with autism are more focused on facts and can be confused by others very easily.

My baby sister had my parents snowed until she was twelve. We knew she stopped beleiving at six, but she didn't let on to Mom and Dad believing Santa would stop.

I thought for the longest time our kid was having us on too. He wasn't. What finally tipped him off was a comment by his grade 7...grade 7!! teacher. He then went home a did some snooping around. He didn't even fess up until just before last Christmas. I mean really talk about thick.

 

[puffkin]

I will let my son's 3rd grade Christmas be the last "santa" christmas if he hasn't figured it out by then. I love the whole "grown up secret" speech. I want my kid to be a kid, but I don't want to lie to him either or hang on to it too long for my own sake and especially don't want him to be made fun of at school. I think that is a good age.

 

[BC Disney Lover]

Because your son has autism, which I really don't know much about, it may be a good idea to explain it to him before someone else does and upsets him. My son figured it out last year when he was 7. Basically he told me that it's impossible to believe Santa does all that stuff in one night. I really couldn't lie to him and just explained that everyone figures it out at different time and to let other kids believe if they want to. He also loved playing up the secret for his brother and sister. I think some kids let their parents think they still believe so the good presents from Santa don't stop. My mom didn't want Santa getting all the credit so we always got 1 simple present like a movie from Santa plus our stocking, all the rest was from Mom and Dad!

 

[CinRell]

I don't have kids but.. saw this post and still love how my mom told me (yes I remember! LOL!) She told me that there was a santa but it was the spirit of santa. That because of the spirit of santa, moms and dads gave gifts to their children...

I guess it's like the yes virginia there is a santa .... because really, during Christmas, santa is very real even to adults. He just doesn't bring the toys.

 

[NewmanFam6]

My parents told me that "Santa is the spirit of giving. As long as there is the spirit of giving there will be Santa Clause". I used the same speech for our oldest one

 

[reginaastralis]

My sister is 10 and still believes. Like, really believes. She's a smart girl, but either she's really thick, or she doesn't want to give it up. We always cringe when people on tv talk about Santa not being real ...

I asked her about it the other month, and she said "I think Santa is a real person who wants to make sure people have a good Christmas." How do you tell her she's wrong with that?

However, to the OP, I would tell my son. Not only to risk him from getting made fun of, but also so he would be able to ask you about it. I remember reading a story about a boy who never told his parents, all the way up until he was in highschool. He'd found out years before, but he didn't want to ruin Christmas for his parents.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

My DD has been saying this year that she has Santa all figured out and knows that it's me and Daddy. That's fine and I knew that it was coming. Not upset at all. The trouble that I am facing is my DS. He has autism. If I don't sit him down and tell him, he will just go on believing forever. I don't see any problem with him going on believing, but I don't want for him to get laughed at in school or find out the truth from someone else. If he is going to know the truth, I want for it to come from me. So my question is, how did you explain it to your kids?

Everybody at our house believes in Santa! Occasionally, one of the children has come home and said such and such at school said there is no Santa. Well, I tell them what a pity that is, because Santa represents love and the magic of giving to others at Christmas. As long as you have that love and magic in your heart then Santa is real, if you don't, then he isn't real. In my heart I believe Santa takes many different forms, not than just a jolly fat man in a red suit. My 12 year old always says, "I believe Momma, I believe." and I tell her I do to. And I do.

If you don't believe, you don't receive.

 

[AliceinHalloweentown]

Everybody at our house believes in Santa! Occasionally, one of the children has come home and said such and such at school said there is no Santa. Well, I tell them what a pity that is, because Santa represents love and the magic of giving to others at Christmas. As long as you have that love and magic in your heart then Santa is real, if you don't, then he isn't real. In my heart I believe Santa takes many different forms, not than just a jolly fat man in a red suit. My 12 year old always says, "I believe Momma, I believe." and I tell her I do to. And I do.

If you don't believe, you don't receive.

Great way to describe it and very similar to the way it was told to me!

You can also relate it to the characters at the park when that time comes- as long as you believe in the magic, it's real.