Tell me I did the right thing.....

[Nik's Mom]

Angelgirl13202,
I'm the one who SueM was responding to. She only quoted a portion of my question. My ds is disabled. He's autistic and has lots of motor skill problems which prevent him from being able to go to the restroom alone.
I totally agree that there should be family restrooms. It sounds like WDW doesn't have the space to allow that. Too bad. I know the family restroom at Sea World San Diego was a godsend when we had our double stroller. I could help my oldest ds go to the potty while dh changed the baby. It was one of the greatest changing stations too (well, not as good as WDW baby stations, of course).

 

[DisneyPhD]

I think there is a lot of situations that call for those rest rooms as the most appropaite for people who might not have a physical disability also.

Families with more then one very young child, they can't all fit in one stahl. Pregnant women have a difficult time fitting in the stahl along with a young child also. (that is when I started perfering the handicap stahl when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and my 1st was being potty trained.)

Father's that have to take daughters to bathrooms (and mother and son's.)

A bathroom is a bathroom and not using one because someone else MIGHT come along and need that one is rather pointless (especailly in cases different then these where is 2 stahls total and one is HC accessable.) However in these cases there is another rest room with many avilible that not everyone can use.

So being a person who doesn't have disabilites needs for such rooms, but might have them for other reasons (famlies with more then one young child.) I can't leave the baby unatened while I toot the 4 year old to the bathroom and good forbit I have to use it myself. I don't have a problem using them, as long as someone isn't waiting for them. But for the most part we don't take that long. (also most of the time at WDW I am not by myself with the kids, but sometimes I am.)

I think the issue is waiting 15 min for the room. If the OP had waited 3 min for a rest rooms (a normal and not too long amount of time,) I don't think she would of thought twice about it.

 

[dislvr75]

OK, it looks as though I'm going to be in the minority here, but here it goes. As far as I'm concerned its all about access. I have a disabled son, so I'm speaking from experience. If a child has to go and the bathroom is empty, anyone should be able to use it. Just like the GAC, it doesn't mean no waiting in any lines, its about access. If someone uses the handicapped stall in the bathroom because it was available, then fine, use it. Those bathrooms were designed for accessibility, not for no waiting at any time. If folks want to be treated like everyone else, then if there's a line, you gotta wait like everyone else. It's not about by passing a full line of people just because the handicapped stall is free. Anyone should be able to use it.

Regarding the family bathroom, I always thought they were for children to use with an opposite gender parent OR someone with a medical issue who needs the type of privacy that a regular bathroom with numerous stalls cannot provide. I think those with a special need should have priority, they should be allowed in first if you are waiting, but if its available, why strain to hold urine when there's an available bathroom right in front of you. If someone is using it, you have to wait just like everyone else. You would have had to wait if it were a dad with a young girl, either way you have to wait like everyone else. I think its important that those places just continue to be be available and accessible to people who need them. Its really not about a free pass to the bathroom.

 

[alisonbestford]

OK, it looks as though I'm going to be in the minority here, but here it goes. As far as I'm concerned its all about access. I have a disabled son, so I'm speaking from experience. If a child has to go and the bathroom is empty, anyone should be able to use it. Just like the GAC, it doesn't mean no waiting in any lines, its about access. If someone uses the handicapped stall in the bathroom because it was available, then fine, use it. Those bathrooms were designed for accessibility, not for no waiting at any time. If folks want to be treated like everyone else, then if there's a line, you gotta wait like everyone else. It's not about by passing a full line of people just because the handicapped stall is free. Anyone should be able to use it.

Regarding the family bathroom, I always thought they were for children to use with an opposite gender parent OR someone with a medical issue who needs the type of privacy that a regular bathroom with numerous stalls cannot provide. I think those with a special need should have priority, they should be allowed in first if you are waiting, but if its available, why strain to hold urine when there's an available bathroom right in front of you. If someone is using it, you have to wait just like everyone else. You would have had to wait if it were a dad with a young girl, either way you have to wait like everyone else. I think its important that those places just continue to be be available and accessible to people who need them. Its really not about a free pass to the bathroom.

Me too.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I'd never walk up to the front of the line to use the disabled stall. If Ds were to use the disabled stall, then we'd wait in line like everyone else, but when we get to the front of the line, wait for that stall to open up. I don't think anyone is saying they'd jump to the front of the line. At least, I'm not.

 

[SueM in MN]

I don't think anyone was saying go to the front of the line, but it sounds better than it works in actaul fact.

Here is an actual scenario that has happened to us quite a few times.
There is a line in the restroom, someone comes out of the handicapped stall and the next person in line takes it. We are next in line after them, but when the next available stall opens up 15 seconds later, it is a regular stall and we can't use it. The person behind us takes the stall (usually after a few seconds of "please go ahead, we can't use that stall." "Are you sure?" "Yes, the only stall we can use is the handicapped stall and it is occupied." ) While waiting for the handicapped stall, we have to let a number of people go by us, we cause a bottleneck in the restroom because we have to wait at the head of the line and we actually cause a delay in filling stalls because many people go thru the "are you sure you don't want to use the stall?" routine.
On one trip, I actually kept track (just out of curiousity) and found that on average, however many stalls there were in the bathroom, another stall opened up within 15 seconds to 1 minute after the person ahead of us went into the handicapped stall. We usually had to wait for one more "turn" of each stall if a person ahead of us by one or two people used the handicapped stall. That means if there were 9 stalls, we usually had to wait for all 9 of them to become vacant (and let the 9 people behind us go ahead of us) before the handicapped stall was again available.

So, while I don't think that people with disabilities should expect the handicapped stall to remain open (especially in a small restroom with few stalls), it does make sense to let someone who needs that stall go ahead when it becomes available if they are near the front of the line. Someone who can use any stall has a 100% chance that they will be able to use the next stall the opens. The probability that the next stall will be usuable for someone who can only use the handicapped stall is much smaller and is based on the number of stalls (for example, if there are 10 stall, there might only be a 10% chance that person could use the next stall to open).

As far as the Companion Restroom, my personal feeling is that people should be looking at using them as a choice. At MK, where a wheelchair doesn't fit into the handicapped restroom stalls, my DD has only one choice - the Companion Restroom.
A mother with a 3 year old son might have other choices - go in the regular restroom with him, use the handicapped stall, use the Companion Restroom, send the son into the men's room with dad, go to the Baby Care Center. A mothe with an older son or a dad with a daughter might have a lot less choices. Some of those choices might impact the options available to other people. My hope is that people are aware of that and make choices that are considerate of other people.

 

[pampam]

I may get flamed here, but this is what I do. When I am with my daughter who is in a WC, I go to the WC stall, and wait for it to become available. It's clear to everyone in line why I am waiting there. That's the stall we need. No sense in waiting near the other stalls. We simply can't use them.

 

[bgirldeb]

I may get flamed here, but this is what I do. When I am with my daughter who is in a WC, I go to the WC stall, and wait for it to become available. It's clear to everyone in line why I am waiting there. That's the stall we need. No sense in waiting near the other stalls. We simply can't use them.

That's a great idea!
This could help those with hidden disabilities who aren't in a wc.

 

[SueM in MN]

I may get flamed here, but this is what I do. When I am with my daughter who is in a WC, I go to the WC stall, and wait for it to become available. It's clear to everyone in line why I am waiting there. That's the stall we need. No sense in waiting near the other stalls. We simply can't use them.

Actually, we do the same thing. We have waited at the entrance to the restroom, but then we're sort of blocking access to the "regular" stalls that we can't use anyway.

 

[robin09]

A 3yo and her mother can fit in a normal restroom especially since the child was mobile (no stroller or wheelchair) It is hard enough to find the restrooms and plan your day around them without having all people with kids thinking that they are family bathrooms....

ok, /rant over.....

QUOTE]

I hope I'm not wrong in responding to this..... My daughter who is 6 has Aspergers syndrome, along with Sensory problems. She LOOKS totally normal! BUT when she has to go, she REALLY has to go, she doesn't know until the very last moment! Also Loud noises like the toilets flushing have been known to bring out the total panic in her and she has a tendency to run from them. I know if I used the bathroom you mentioned, I would've been glad NOT to wait on the long lines, and have to worry if she were to a. have an accident because of the waiting... or b. have her runaway from me because of the noise. Please remember just because she "looks" typical (I hate the word normal), doesn't mean she is, and we too might underlying reasons for using the "family" bathroom.

 

[Nanajo1]

A 3yo and her mother can fit in a normal restroom especially since the child was mobile (no stroller or wheelchair) It is hard enough to find the restrooms and plan your day around them without having all people with kids thinking that they are family bathrooms....

ok, /rant over.....

QUOTE]

I hope I'm not wrong in responding to this..... My daughter who is 6 has Aspergers syndrome, along with Sensory problems. She LOOKS totally normal! BUT when she has to go, she REALLY has to go, she doesn't know until the very last moment! Also Loud noises like the toilets flushing have been known to bring out the total panic in her and she has a tendency to run from them. I know if I used the bathroom you mentioned, I would've been glad NOT to wait on the long lines, and have to worry if she were to a. have an accident because of the waiting... or b. have her runaway from me because of the noise. Please remember just because she "looks" typical (I hate the word normal), doesn't mean she is, and we too might underlying reasons for using the "family" bathroom.

I think the thing to keep in mind is that only you know what your child needs. Use the restroom appropriate for those needs. I'm sure there are other situations when your child appears not to have special needs but does in fact need to have accommodations. Do what you do in those situatons to meet the child's needs. There will be people who will misjudge because of ignorance or just bad will. You should not let them dictate your life.

 

[alisonbestford]

The arguement concerning so-called 'hidden' disabilities is age old and consistant the world over
DH (34) recently wrote to our local newspaper in response to a young woman (19) who had been repeatedly accused of using someone elses disabled parking badge as she wasn't in a wheelchair etc and obviously didn't need it
DH has encountered these same predjuces for the last 10 years now as he is young, can walk and looks as though his facial scars etc should be self inflicted (he has long hair and, many would assume, has had a motor cycle accident )
In truth, he has a terminal brain tumour, and each day's activities are determined by how well he is feeling. In the same way, the young woman he responded to had a similar 'invisible', disability determining her everyday actions!
Until you walk in the shoes of that person, or their family, rash assumptions should never be made! As Nanajo, and others have said earlier you must do what you know right for your particular, individual scenario

 

[Nik's Mom]

QUOTE]

I hope I'm not wrong in responding to this..... My daughter who is 6 has Aspergers syndrome, along with Sensory problems. She LOOKS totally normal! BUT when she has to go, she REALLY has to go, she doesn't know until the very last moment! Also Loud noises like the toilets flushing have been known to bring out the total panic in her and she has a tendency to run from them. I know if I used the bathroom you mentioned, I would've been glad NOT to wait on the long lines, and have to worry if she were to a. have an accident because of the waiting... or b. have her runaway from me because of the noise. Please remember just because she "looks" typical (I hate the word normal), doesn't mean she is, and we too might underlying reasons for using the "family" bathroom.[/QUOTE]

My 6 year old ds is the same way. It must be an autistic thing, then. My ds sometimes acts "normal". I'm sure we'd get dirty looks by some if we used the disabled restroom stall. I will definitely start using it though. We just can't fit in the normal stall anymore, and ds still needs help in the restroom. Hopefully when he starts ocupational therapy next school year, that will solve the problem. If not, we'll continue to use the disabled stall.
By the way, I've had luck using the baby station restrooms. The cm's in there are very accomodation if they know the child is disabled. The toilets are very low to the ground though. My ds just can't use them anymore, but maybe for some of you, this might help with your little ones.

 

[michelle9343]

I strongly agree the the companion rest rooms should only be used by the disabled. Many times I have waited extremely long periods of time tring to get into one to change my 7yrold dd who is not toilet trained most of the time it is filled by a mom and little one who need to have a BM and wanted more leg room. Over the years I have had many confrontations about this matter. A few weeks ago I went to guest services at MK to talk about it and was advise that Disney does not concider them handicap rest room they are more a family rest room. IE ment for opposit sex to be able to go in a help. Each one is labled with man/women/handi. I just wish there was more we could do. Also it is very true that most rest rooms at MK and Epcot that are labled handicapp will not accomodate a wheelchair. I do now use the first aid to go in and change her but if I am alone with her I do still need to use the compamion restroom when I need to go.

 

[taximomfor4]

I strongly agree the the companion rest rooms should only be used by the disabled. Many times I have waited extremely long periods of time tring to get into one to change my 7yrold dd who is not toilet trained most of the time it is filled by a mom and little one who need to have a BM and wanted more leg room. Over the years I have had many confrontations about this matter. A few weeks ago I went to guest services at MK to talk about it and was advise that Disney does not concider them handicap rest room they are more a family rest room. IE ment for opposit sex to be able to go in a help. Each one is labled with man/women/handi. I just wish there was more we could do. Also it is very true that most rest rooms at MK and Epcot that are labled handicapp will not accomodate a wheelchair. I do now use the first aid to go in and change her but if I am alone with her I do still need to use the compamion restroom when I need to go.

I think the point that many on here are making is that you probably cannot say with certainty that the mom just wanted more leg room for child's BM. Not many parents are going to broadcast that as they exit the restroom. Yes, we try to use the companion restroom sometimes. The noise of public toilets flushing especially can make dd6 go right over the edge. At the very least, I have to be in a bigger stall with her, or hold her stall door open if it is a smaller stall. BOY you should see the dirty looks I get for that one! But its better than the alternative, her messing herself because a neighboring toilet flushes before she gets onto her toilet. Also, at 6 she still cannot get onto a toilet herself without a stepstool.

So if someone is, in August, waiting for the companion restroom and out comes a mom with 3 little ones, looking hurried and harried, that might be me on the days that dh is taking oldest dd11 for a special day. Maybe my 6yo had to have a bm. I DEFINITELY would need the extra legroom to lift her onto the seat while keeping ds5 and dd2 in my line of sight.

Beth

 

[MommytoMJM]

I just wanted to make sure that this part of my post was getting read too, it seems only the first one was getting quoted. Please know that I do understand about invisible disabilities, if you saw me or my daughter without our chairs we'd look normal too.....however, (in the above mentioned instance)

As far as my situation, I heard the mom talking to her family when she came out, she was bragging about not haveing to wait in line in the regular restroom. Since that one was free......she did seem to know it was for disabled guests from her conversation. So pretty sure it was not a handicapped issue. I (BTW) cannot use the handicapped stalls in the regular restroom until I get my new wheelchair (soon I hope)

 

[taximomfor4]

I just wanted to make sure that this part of my post was getting read too, it seems only the first one was getting quoted. Please know that I do understand about invisible disabilities, if you saw me or my daughter without our chairs we'd look normal too.....however, (in the above mentioned instance)

As far as my situation, I heard the mom talking to her family when she came out, she was bragging about not haveing to wait in line in the regular restroom. Since that one was free......she did seem to know it was for disabled guests from her conversation. So pretty sure it was not a handicapped issue. I (BTW) cannot use the handicapped stalls in the regular restroom until I get my new wheelchair (soon I hope)

OHHHHH...sorry, I should have added this --
I understand completely that your situation was definitely not the same!! I think most of our purpose was to educate. Nobody on here completely understands anyone else's situation/plights. I deal with special needs in my household every day (as do many of us) but these boards continue to educate me on a daily basis.

Hope your new wc is in your possession soon! Actually, I hope we can actually physically meet in WDW one day. Your posts always sound like they come from someone that I would get along quite nicely with!!

Beth

 

[MommytoMJM]

I hope we get to meet too! I always love to read your posts! MJ loves the pic in your sig line too, she is in love with Riverdance and Irish Step Dancing, she tries, bless her heart, but she doesn't have the coordination to do it, but she sure has fun pretending to do it!

 

[taximomfor4]

I hope we get to meet too! I always love to read your posts! MJ loves the pic in your sig line too, she is in love with Riverdance and Irish Step Dancing, she tries, bless her heart, but she doesn't have the coordination to do it, but she sure has fun pretending to do it!

The smaller girl in my pic is my 2nd dd, who is special needs. I found (but could not register for, unfortunately, due to time conflict) one Feis (Irish Dancing competition) which has a Special Needs category to compete in! I was so excited! Both my girls practice at home a lot, but whereas my older dd Kate picks everything up in 10 minutes, Rissa practices WAAAAAAY more. She will practice several hours a day, in small doses of course. She does a move over and over and over and over and over until she finally can do it. I have always thanked God that, if she was slowed down by motor delay etc, at least she was SUPER-blessed with perseverence unlike any I have ever seen!

Does MJ have Riverdance DVD or anything? Those are lots of fun to dance to, I have heard. I don't have that, but I did get several cd's of Irish Dancing music for my girls to practice to. Rissa cannot dance to a beat for ANYTHING, but Kate is quite good at finding it and following it.

Well, if you plan a trip in mid-August, give me a PM! We are leaving for WDW 8/11-8/19 (ASsp and WL).

Beth

 

[VSL]

Whenever I'm waiting to use the loo and it's busy people always use the big/'disabled' stalls (including me).

If there is someone else who I can *see* (as has been pointed out though, it's not necessarily outwardly noticable for everyone who may need that stall) would need it, then I would definitely let them go ahead, but otherwise, I see no reason why I couldn't use it.
It would seem pointless just standing there with an empty stall when no one else in line would only be able to use that particular one.

15mins is a long time though..