Tell me about your 'typical' 3 year old, Please!

[Disney_1derland]

We have two dd's, the oldest was NEVER a typical kid so now with the younger we just don't know what typical is.

What I'd like to know is about your three year old's speech, is it crystal clear and always understandable?

Where are you in the potty training game? Done? Just starting?



We are concerned about her speech and she is going for a speech eval. in two weeks, she is not reliably potty trained, still using training underwear and there are days she just refuses to participate.

She is very obstinate and when she doesn't want to do something she makes it as unpleasant as possible for the rest of us. For example, she hates going to her sisters gymnastics class (which I totally understand, it's not much fun for her) so she has taken to chanting "I want to go home" over and over throughout the class. She gets one warning then I take her to the car and put her in her car seat while I stand outside the car and read a book. I will not sit in the car and listen to the 'I want to go home' chorus.

Anyhow, our older dd would NEVER have done these things and was/is very advanced and mature for her age. So now, the younger is probably actually 'acting her age' and we just don't know how to deal with it or when to put a stop to it. I don't want to be too harsh or too easy on her. She just seems so much less mature, almost babyish at times and I feel like we're totally screwing this up

Thanks for reading and for your input!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I feel your pain! I have 4 children and they are all so different. What one was doing at 1yo, 2yo, 3yo, etc, another one wasn't close to doing or had done earlier.

My DD, our firstborn was a spitfire and I was proud that I'd survived my "real child" first. My next 2 were a lot easier and I would laugh at others (not really laugh, but more chuckle when they weren't listening ) at other people who had such well behaved first children and then went on to have "real children" 2nd or later children. I was humored because it seemed that those people thought they had it all figured out with their first child and then later had their bubble burst. I was in such good shape since my more difficult child was first.

Sounds good until I had my 4th child. Jake was the most wonderful baby and then he turned a year old and became the most "real child" I could ever imagine. OMG, the joke was on me.

Anyway, this is a long winded attempt to point out that all kids are different. You simply had an easy child with your first one and have a totally different child the second time around. Doesn't mean it will continue this way and your first could be a handful as a teen.

My kids are now 5 (6 in Dec), 12, 15, and 17 (18 in Dec) and my hard firstborn is now in college and doing well overall. She's still a bit dramatic, but could be a lot worse. My 15yo son who was easy as a toddler is now on the difficult side, partially from things out of his control, but he's in the middle of the teens years. My 12yo who was a perfect toddler/preschooler is now on IM and his cell phone a lot, doesn't speak up, "forgets" to do his chores, etc. Still on the easy side for his age, but has shown a different side. we're still waiting for Jake to improve.

Hang in there and know that it will get better and get worse and it's all perfectly normal.

 

[mtemm]

my 3 year old is speech delayed and started s/t when he turned 2. He started with about 4 words and a year later he had over 100. Now at 3.5, his speech has exploded to the point that the only reason he is still in therapy is because of articulation. so no, not everything is crystal clear. but his pre-school teachers have told us he is one of the better speakers in his class.

potty training. yeah, I've heard of that. When he was 2 he showed great interest and probably would have been a snap to train except that I was pg with twins and on bedrest for those couple of months. We thought we'd hold off until the summer (the twins were born march 04) but by then he had lost interest and basically we are at a standstill. Will get busy with it again in a month or so, but we are moving so holding off until we get settled. We encourage him to use it, talk about it, etc, but we aren't fighting him on it.

 

[Frantasmic]

We didn't know what typical was either. First born was a daughter. She had early and frequent ear infections and had to have speech therapy at 3. Her doctor was the one who told us she wasn't as far along as she should have been. At testing, she was about 25 percentile with proficiency.

Second born was a son, and six years difference in age. We'd forgotten everything, LOL. He had some speech problems, we thought, but doctor was never concerned since the problems were somewhat typical with all children. He is doing much better now at 5.

Potty training was the same. Daughter was stubborn, for a girl I am told, and didn't fully potty train until 3 1/2. Son, being a boy, was closer to 4.

Consult a doctor if you have concerns is the best advice based on my experience.

 

[isyne4u]

My personal is experience is...there are no typical 3 year olds....this is a myth....3 year olds are a species unto themselves!! Good luck to you!!!!

tara

 

[scubamouse]

My personal is experience is...there are no typical 3 year olds....this is a myth....3 year olds are a species unto themselves!! Good luck to you!!!!

tara

I agree with this

Our kids are very verbal but a lot of 3 y/o are tough to understand. our DS5 wasn't reliably potty trained until 4 and when I fess up on this, I hear a lot of people say they had similar issues. Our DS5 also had some mild oral sensory issues that were resolved w/OT. He's still minimal eater but he eats a lot of different things.

If you think there's an issue, get her evaluated. Our gut was that DS5 wasn't eating 'normally' and he wasn't. In the eval, we also heard how advanced he was in some areas which is cool too

our DD is freakishly verbal and really really stubborn. she can be sweet as anything but she's also seriously strong-willed. she's definitely more of a challenge there than DS

 

[HayGan]

Sorry I can't help you with a "typical" 3 year old either. My DS#2 who is 3 (he will be 4 in January) had/has a slight speech delay. We can understand much of what he says (except for really big/complex words) He still isn't potty trained and I swear he will be going to college in diapers. He is very strong willed and does things on his schedule We were having problems with his behavior at home but we started using a naughty spot (in the hall away from everything) and that seems to really have helped. He has always been an angel outside of the house and at school.

My older DS and is 5 1/2 and he is in the autism spectrum so can't give you any pointers from that one either.

I think that each child is unique and has their own timelines for doing things. I also think that you as a mother can gauge what is a problem and what isn't.

If you are concerned about speech issues, definately talk to your ped. and have an evaluation done! Better to address those issues sooner than later - BELIEVE ME!

 

[Disney_1derland]

our DD is freakishly verbal

That would be our oldest as well. She was verbal early and often. I can't tell you the number of times people have come to us and told us bizarre things she has said that were absolutely correct and using HUGE words to boot. She loves long complicated words and is constantly looking for new ones to add to her vocabulary. Kindergarten has been an adventure for her teacher this year

 

[minkydog]

My personal is experience is...there are no typical 3 year olds....this is a myth....3 year olds are a species unto themselves!! Good luck to you!!!!

tara

Isn't that the truth?! I think the reason God makes them so cute is so you won't strangle them when they turn three.

My older two were a different as night and day. My boy was a miserable baby who turned into a marvelous 2yo, then cried for 3 straight years.. My girl was the perfect baby(made perfect by my perfect parenting, you understand ) who turned into a she-demon at age 2 and got worse until age 6. DS potty-trained at 2yo, DD told me clearly ,"I not go on the potty." And she didn't until she went to preschool (peer pressure took care of it in a day.) DS didn'st sound intelligible until he was over 3, DD was talking in two-word sentences at 13months. Every kid is different.

Now I have a third child with developmental delays. At 10yo he is finally going into the terrible 2's. Yikes! Wonder how long this will last?

 

[isyne4u]

Isn't that the truth?! I think the reason God makes them so cute is so you won't strangle them when they turn three.

hehehe!! that's what I keep telling the 17 month old! If he weren't so darn cute those tantrums would be causing him a lot more trouble!!

To the OP:
My oldest was potty trained by 26 months (and we weren't using the pull ups) but I had did have him evaluated for speech delays when he was 2 b/c I didn't think he was talking enough. Now he is 5, in Kindergarten, and has a very large vocabulary but has some speech issues (articulation type) so I'm waiting for the school speech therapist to evaluate him.

My 17 month old won't even let me get him near the potty to just try sitting on it and speechl....well, let's just say that he has lots of words but chooses to scream and throw himself down rather than talk. So I'm thinking at three he is going to be a handful!

I agree with the others who have said to have the child evaluated by a professional if nothing more than to ease your mind.

good luck to you!!
tara

 

[luvmyfam444]

Im not much help here - both of my girls were potty trained before 2 - the 2nd one @ 20 months! The first one talked pretty clear BUT ir's when #2 that came along that shocked everyone w/her speech & understanding of language.

NOW what I need the help w/is the discipline! her sis was SO SO EASY & pretty much obeyed @ all times...this one is SO BAD in comparison! She beats up her sister (& she's almost 8!!! and dd is almost 3!!!) It's SO tough every afternoon to hear them fight!

 

[scubamouse]

That would be our oldest as well. She was verbal early and often. I can't tell you the number of times people have come to us and told us bizarre things she has said that were absolutely correct and using HUGE words to boot. She loves long complicated words and is constantly looking for new ones to add to her vocabulary. Kindergarten has been an adventure for her teacher this year

when DD was 2.5 she could parrot any word so it was a party trick to get her to say things like bifurcate and narcissist. now, when we ask her to say 'bifurcate' she says 'bifurcate, what's bifurcate mean?' DH tells me I need to stop calling them sycophants because they're going to call someone in kindergarten a sychophant and they'll get in trouble for it even if she does use it correctly