teens, cars, jobs, school

[Skippy918]

OP here... our dd17 has been the chauffeur to all her friends (none have a car to use), with the car we pay for (like most of you, wanted her to concentrate on her education, and she works part time in our family business). Her car is a 2016 Subaru Forester (we use it 1 day a week for our business, the rest of the time it's hers to use). We had an older car for the business, but upgraded when she got her license. All was good with this arrangement until we realized how many miles she and her friends were putting on the car. 282 miles last week, just from her driving around, going to see friends, taking them to the mall, etc. We live fairly rural, her friends house is 12 miles from ours, then the mall is 11 miles from there.

We told her that this arrangement wasn't working, and if she wanted to drive her friends all over, she'd have to pay for it. We figured she has to pay 50 cents a mile. We fill up the tank once each week, if she uses it all she has to put more gas in. We pay for everything else for the car. So 282 miles last week, and I deducted 50 miles for her going to work, etc. So 232 miles equaled $116 for her to pay for 1 week of driving. It's a lot. But we don't know what else to do. She's not getting the fact that it's expensive to run a car, she can't say yes to every friend request, or she has to ask them for some money to chip in. Something...

Can she ask her friends to chip in for fuel?

 

[mom2rtk]

Can she ask her friends to chip in for fuel?

Seems quite reasonable. My daughter's friends all offered without being asked. Although we have encouraged her to pass on being the "regular ride" for anyone, but not to hesitate at an occasional ride. And she takes an occasional soda bought by her friends, but hasn't needed to take actual payment because the rides are not out of hand.

 

[robinb]

how does this work in your house?

teens driving... using your car? their own car? how did they get it (who paid)? a clunker or a 'safe' car? what does the teen contribute to the car? (gas/insurance/payments/mileage)

what age did you allow your teen to go with other teen/older teen drivers? (not talking 16yo's who just got their license, more like 17 to 20yo's)

My DD-17 had her "own" car. It is a 10-year old Mazda 3 that belonged to my in-laws before they stopped driving. It is our car which we let her drive. She sometimes drives it to school and she drives to swim team practice 20 minutes away multiple time a week. We pay for everything because she is too busy with school and swimming for a job.

 

[Vicki926]

how does this work in your house?

teens driving... using your car? their own car? how did they get it (who paid)? a clunker or a 'safe' car? what does the teen contribute to the car? (gas/insurance/payments/mileage)

what age did you allow your teen to go with other teen/older teen drivers? (not talking 16yo's who just got their license, more like 17 to 20yo's)

17 year old here in NJ to get a license.

My daughter turned 17 in October(got her license on her birthday)
Before she had a license, she rode in a car with her older friends(17 & 18 year olds) driving all the time. I'm pretty sure there were a couple times her friends picked her up the day they got their license. So, no restrictions on who she drove with.

My father in law has a 2005 Altima with 40,000 miles on it. Great condition. He stopped driving last year and told us to just let our daughter use it when she got her license, so while it's not her own car, it's her car. She uses it every day and no one else drives it.
No paying for it.
Grandpa still pays insurance and we added her to our insurance as well, so she is covered on our cars. It was $1000 extra per year. We absorb the cost.

She plays sports all school year, so doesn't work year round. She is a camp counselor in the summer for 6 weeks and uses that money, but it doesn't last all year.
I give her $100/month. Double what her 15 year old brother gets. I expect both kids to budget for fun stuff out of that money. She gets double because she pays for gas.
So while I don't pay for gas, it comes out of money we give her.

 

[robinb]

I have to say that 50-cents a mile is a lot for anyone to pay for the use of a family car. OP, you're charging your DD $116 for no more than $25 worth of fuel. Yes, I know that a car's expenses are more than just fuel, but still. It sounds like your issue is with her being a chauffeur for her friends 40+ miles round trip to the mall. Have your DD ask her friends to chip in $2-$3 for gas. She collects the money and say every Sunday she puts the money she collected into the car for gas. She can go into the station and say, "I'd like to put $9 of unleaded on pump #5." Easy-peasy.

 

[Tigerlulu]

We bought my husbands Nissan Altima in 2006 with the intention to pass it to our kids when they start driving. This year my oldest, 17, got her license and took it over. We require her to pay for half of her insurance, which we pay in full every six months to get the additional discount.
We both pay for gas. I'll fill her up once or twice a month. She doesn't have to drive many miles so if she's careful that will last her.

If she is hanging with friends they take turns driving. It's not ok for her to take the load and expense on just herself!

We would not pay it either. If she's out of gas and can't pay for more, then the car parks until she can. She keeps a part time job of 10-15 hrs a week at Pizza Hut.

If grades drop, the car is parked until they come up.

If she doesn't get herself up for school on time, the car is parked.

It's amazing how responsible they can be once they realize consequences are real!

 

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

I'm with the OP about charging something. I'd defiantly charge more than just gas for someone putting 280miles a week on a 2016 vehicle. Maybe $0.50 a mile and you buy gas. My forester use to average 28mpgs so it's not a gas hog but depreciation, insurance, tires, brakes, etc. just general wear and tear are going to cost $$ and if I'm not the one causing it I see no problem teaching a teenager this lesson.

 

[SC Minnie]

OP-- a suggestion on the issue of gas consumption. Do the math on how much gas should be used for your DD to go to school and run errands. Give her that money each month in cash for gas-- adjust it if extra errands are needed. Make sure she understand when it's gone it's gone.

 

[DawnM]

Oh man, I don't know what I would do if I were in your situation.

Our son drives our 3rd car. It is NOT his. It is the ours, and he has to ask to use it. He drives it to work and to church so far. We aren't comfortable with his driving enough to do much more than that.

We pay the insurance and the gas. He just got a job.