Teenagers!!! Do They A Clue How Much This is Costing Me?? UPDATE

[antmaril]

I just need to vent. We are scheduled to go on the 2/13/05. Booked myself, DH, DS (18) and DGF (17). This is supposed to be their "senior trip". We have two cabins booked (one for DGF and myself and one for DS and DH). This trip is costing us major $$$. Of course, we invited the DGF and it is totally my responsibility. Guess what, last night they broke up. Oy!

Who knows if they will patch it up before we go. They are teenagers. At the moment, I don't have high hopes, but who knows. In the meantime, I am going to proceed as if she is going with us. I need to get permission and health forms signed and notarized. They could decide at the last minute that she is going and I need to be prepared.

Oh well, wish me luck!!!

Thanks for letting me vent.

Update: Talked to the girlfriend's mother yesterday. GF is not going on the cruise. We decided to cancel the whole thing. Difference between canceling today and canceling tomorrow was losing the deposit versus losing half the cost of the cruise. Decided it really wasn't going to be much fun just the three of us. I'm sad, but what can you do? Life goes on.

 

[jdm]

Hopefully, they'll make up!! Have they broken up before? Boy, I don't know what I'd do in your case. If she goes along to be polite, could make for some uncomfortable, awkward time together. Ah, yes, teenagers- I've been through 2 so far and 2 more to go. I feel for ya! Good luck!

Jenn

 

[minkydog]

If they don't make up in the next week, I would consider leaving the girl behind and let ds take his best friend. I mean, who wants to go on a cruise with an ex-GF? At least, that way you and DH could have a room together.

Teenage love is always tricky, isn't it?

 

[antmaril]

I agree. It could be awkward. Also, if we take him with us, I've got a brooding 18 year old with me. And, if my DH and I go without him, I'm worried about him at home thinking he should be on a cruise with his parents and his gf and he's sitting home all week with nothing to do (it's winter break). Actually, I'm not really considering that scenario. He really has to go with us, but let's face it, it's not going to be big fun. He's going to be CRABBY!!!!!

Kids!!!

 

[jrabbit]

Ah, yes, teenagers- I've been through 2 so far and 2 more to go

 

[ivanova]

If they don't make up in the next week, I would consider leaving the girl behind and let ds take his best friend. I mean, who wants to go on a cruise with an ex-GF? At least, that way you and DH could have a room together.

Teenage love is always tricky, isn't it?

just be aware that if you change any name on the ressie (i.e. from DGF to a friend of DS) there will be $$$ due as a result ... you will be charged the difference between what you initially paid for DGF and what the going rate is for a person in that room right now. So if you paid $500 for DGF to go, and to book a person in that room today costs $1,000 you will be required to pay the $500 difference. And the real bugger is that if you cancel now you'll lose part of the cruisefare you paid for DGF.

Thankfully I only have one teen (15yo DD) ... this thread has now convinced me that I will NEVER pay to bring any of her friends (regardless of gender) on a trip with us.

 

[SeaSpray]

just be aware that if you change any name on the ressie (i.e. from DGF to a friend of DS) there will be $$$ due as a result ... you will be charged the difference between what you initially paid for DGF and what the going rate is for a person in that room right now. So if you paid $500 for DGF to go, and to book a person in that room today costs $1,000 you will be required to pay the $500 difference. And the real bugger is that if you cancel now you'll lose part of the cruisefare you paid for DGF.

Thankfully I only have one teen (15yo DD) ... this thread has now convinced me that I will NEVER pay to bring any of her friends (regardless of gender) on a trip with us.

We've thought about letting one or both DSs bring a friend on our August 2006 cruise and even though they'd bringing FRIENDS (male friends, not girl friends), I still would not even bring the subject up until a couple of months before, because even friends can have a falling out.

I think if you let your DD bring a friend, just wait until a short period before the cruise, so you (and she) can see who she's most friendly with at that time. I remember bringing friends with me on trips as a kid, and it really added to the fun I had. (I wasn't an only child, but I was the youngest and my siblings closest in age were 4-6 yrs older than me, and they were boys!).

To the OP, I think the idea of letting DS bring a friend along instead of the GF is a good idea, if it seems as though there won't be a reconciliation. I hope it all works out, keep us posted

 

[antmaril]

It is cost prohibitive to change the name on the cruise reservation and to cancel her flight and book a new one. If I substitute a name on the cruise reservation, I will have to pay today's rate, not what I paid many months ago. Also, to cancel her flight and rebook air for the new friend, would cost hundreds of dollars. Not going to do it. Either they will make up, or he will come with us without a friend (not ideal, of course, but I guess it will be our last family vacation before he goes away to college in the fall). These two have been together for more than two years. I have to say their split comes as a surprise to me. Very unexpected.

I've learned a costly lesson. He's my only child, so I won't make the mistake again!!!

Thanks for listening and your thoughts.

I'll let you know what happens.

 

[ivanova]

We've thought about letting one or both DSs bring a friend on our August 2006 cruise and even though they'd bringing FRIENDS (male friends, not girl friends), I still would not even bring the subject up until a couple of months before, because even friends can have a falling out.

I think if you let your DD bring a friend, just wait until a short period before the cruise, so you (and she) can see who she's most friendly with at that time.

That would work - as long as at the time you intially make your ressie you make the reservation for the full size of the group you want, and where you don't know which friend(s) might be going you make the ressie for TBD (to be determined). That way there is no increased fee when you decide on a name. Whereas if you make the ressie and supply all names at that time, switching names later can be costly.

Although there might be the catch that you have to provide a name at the time full payment is required (i.e. 75 days before your cruise). In the teenage world A LOT can happen in 75 days.

 

[swede63]

My DS13 at the time talked me into bringing one of his friends on one of our Magic trips. From the time we booked to the time we left the friend who went with us had changed twice. Of course there are fees with each name change, since you don't need a ID for minors on the plane the boy who went on the plane, was under the other boys name. His parents had agreed to not changing the name to save a few bucks. However we changed the Magic ressie. The friend we wound up bringing and my DS weren't speaking by the third night on board. I felt like I had to entertain the friend and play referee. Never again!! It is my vacation too! Friends and girlfriends come and go with the wind at that age.

 

[JC Butterfly]

Hmmm so are you paying the whole bill or was her family helping out at all? Would they?

I'm sure it's a surprise that they broke up but with both of them going off to college, it may be a blessing in disguise. What a great opportunity for you to enjoy that last family vacation and once he's there, I really doubt he'll be sulking the whole time, there is just to much to see and do to focus on the negatives!

Also, assuming that you like this girl, you could talk to her family and explain what will happen if you cancel her ressie and then at the last minute she wants to go again . . . this will help them understand the bind you are in.

 

[antmaril]

We are paying for everything. She will only bring a little spending money for a souvenir. It was our invitation and she would not be able to go otherwise. I took her to Disney World last February (my husband couldn't go at the last minute and she went with us). We had a great time. She had never been on a plane, never been to Disney, never traveled at all. This cruise was going to be big and they (and we) were really looking forward to it.

The problem is that if I call Disney and cancel her now and they reconcile (which is possible with teens), then she will not be able to go at all. I believe I'm just going to wait and see what happens. We will have connecting cabins. My son can stay in one and my DH and I will have the other. We are traveling on Southwest and Spirit, so I will be able to cancel her air and get a credit for future travel.

We'll see what happens.

 

[Minnie&Mickey]

I really doubt he'll be sulking the whole time, there is just to much to see and do to focus on the negatives!

I totally agree with you, JC Butterfly! The cruise is over a month away, and by then, he probably will not still be mourning the relationship, and I say this from experience. My oldest daughter dated the same boy all through high school (over 3 1/2 years). We were all stunned when he broke up with her just before she started college (and right after we had all, including the boyfriend, just returned from a nice trip to WDW). She was devastated, but bounced back fairly quickly. Since they had dated for so long, we had really grown to know and love this boy, and foolishly thought they might marry some day. After the breakup, we started hearing things that made us very, very thankful for the breakup!

Antmaril, I'm sure in no time he will find some other great girl...maybe even while he is on the cruise!

 

[antmaril]

Bumping to the top.

 

[JC Butterfly]

Wait a minute, you cancelled the whole thing? So now NONE of you are going on a cruise? Are you going to do something else instead? Or did you reschedule your cruise?

 

[piglet33]

Why did you cancel the whole cruise? Couldn't just the three of you go?

 

[antmaril]

Yes, we canceled the whole thing. Of course, the three of us could go, but after talking about it last night, we decided we just weren't going to have much fun. We originally booked the cruise because we thought it would be fun for my son and his girlfriend. They could take this trip and go their own way. They would be on their own, but not really. My husband and I, of course, would have fun too, but to be honest, we aren't really cruise people. My husband HATES the beach, doesn't lay by the pool, etc. We've cruised before and are usually bored. We would enjoy the shows and the food. We would have fun because they were having fun. When it became just the three of us, it lost some of it's appeal. He is a quiet boy, 18 years old -- graduating this year. Won't really fit in at the Teen Club and he's not very outgoing. I am going to suggest tonight that we just go to Orlando and do the parks - something we've done many times, but at least we would be able to get away from the winter weather and have lots to do. My husband isn't too keen on this idea (been there done that kind of thing), but we'll see. We are going to talk about tonight.

The Disney Cruise is not going to happen. It just wasn't meant to be.