Teenager with Autism...tips?

[danikoski]

We will be going next month to WDW with my 15 year old stepson who is on the autism spectrum. He's not profoundly autistic, but he does struggle mightily with focus and sometimes inappropriate behavior. He also lacks the ability to really read social cues, and sometimes can't always tell us what is going on with him. Overall, he is a really good kid. He tries hard to meet expectations if he knows and is reminded what those are.

I'm just worried about him and the crowds and standing in line and meltdowns. For him, meltdowns are usually total shutdown. He also struggles with being in a crowd and becoming over stimulated and then the impulse control goes totally away and he starts just being reckless and not thinking.

Our group will be made up of me, DH, Stepson, our 19 month old son, my parents (in their 60s but pretty mobile), and my young adult cousin who has developmental delays but just graduated college with her associates degree.

We will be at WDW for 9 days. We have mornings planned, with afternoons pretty open. We are getting in before my family to give the boys a day to decompress and swim and relax. We then have a midweek day with nothing planned until dinner. Staying on site at AKL first two days and WL BRV the rest of the time.

Like I said, my SS is a good kid. I'd just like any tips or tricks at WDW folks have found work for those who have similar challenges.

 

[PrincessV]

I totally get you - my 16yo son is also on the spectrum, at the high-functioning end, but we only learned that a few years ago. It turns out, we've been making all sorts of accommodations for years, though,as he's been visiting WDW since birth. Very similar issues here: crowds are hard on him, plus noise, plus heat. All three is an exceptionally tough challenge to handle. And yep, my son is a shut-down kinda guy, too, making it really hard for me to know when he's had enough.

In our experience, the best bet is taking the parks in small bites: we rarely spend more than 3 hours at a time in a park. He can go longer with a sit-down meal mixed in, especially at EP and AK, which have more open, quieter spaces. We utilize FP+ to minimize time stuffed into lines full of people, and just recently tried using the DAS system. The two together help my son enjoy the attractions he likes and is happy to wait for, without melting down from the overstimulation of being in an actual line for more than 15-20 minutes. even changing parks after a few hours helps - the'res a good amount of down time involved in driving/bussing/monorailing/boating from one park to another, so he gets time to decompress before heading into another park.

Our last visit, he got overheated and was starting to shut down, so I called the audible and insisted that we sit in an air-conditioned CS restaurant (it wasn't a meal time, so we were able to sit in a quiet room) for a while. He played games and listened to music on his phone with headphones and drank water and was back to feeling 100% in 20 minutes. Take the timeouts: you won't regret it!

Headphones have helped my son a lot. He doesn't wear them all the time, but has them around his neck, ready to go as needed.

Following his normal schedule as much as possible is also key for us. My son is a night owl and NOT an early riser: forcing him to get up and going early nearly always ends in a meltdown. But letting him sleep later and staying later in the parks means fun for all. He also has said he feels less anxious in the parks in the dark.

Keep up on food and fluid intake. It's easy to lose track of time and wind up over-hungry and/or dehydrated, which will only exacerbate any difficulties.

I've learned to accept that my kiddo hates the noise and crowds of parades and shows, so we mostly skip them entirely. He'll put up with my love of fireworks, but he handles it best if we're away form others as much as possible, and I limit it to one or two nights per trip.

 

[danielocha30]

Ask for a DAS card, it is a must for ASD kids and adults. I suggest you let him know about it and if he feels he can benefit from it go a get one at the beginning of your trip. Having a DAS doesn’t mean you have to used for everything, you might use it only for one ride and that’s Ok. My pre-teen High functioning autistic boy can handle a whole day as long as he is not standing in line. He doesn’t feel embarrassed using DAS because he is used to, but with a 15 year old you should ask him if he wants one. When asking for DAS they will take a Picture of him.

 

[danikoski]

I totally get you - my 16yo son is also on the spectrum, at the high-functioning end, but we only learned that a few years ago. It turns out, we've been making all sorts of accommodations for years, though,as he's been visiting WDW since birth. Very similar issues here: crowds are hard on him, plus noise, plus heat. All three is an exceptionally tough challenge to handle. And yep, my son is a shut-down kinda guy, too, making it really hard for me to know when he's had enough.

In our experience, the best bet is taking the parks in small bites: we rarely spend more than 3 hours at a time in a park. He can go longer with a sit-down meal mixed in, especially at EP and AK, which have more open, quieter spaces. We utilize FP+ to minimize time stuffed into lines full of people, and just recently tried using the DAS system. The two together help my son enjoy the attractions he likes and is happy to wait for, without melting down from the overstimulation of being in an actual line for more than 15-20 minutes. even changing parks after a few hours helps - the'res a good amount of down time involved in driving/bussing/monorailing/boating from one park to another, so he gets time to decompress before heading into another park.

Our last visit, he got overheated and was starting to shut down, so I called the audible and insisted that we sit in an air-conditioned CS restaurant (it wasn't a meal time, so we were able to sit in a quiet room) for a while. He played games and listened to music on his phone with headphones and drank water and was back to feeling 100% in 20 minutes. Take the timeouts: you won't regret it!

Headphones have helped my son a lot. He doesn't wear them all the time, but has them around his neck, ready to go as needed.

Following his normal schedule as much as possible is also key for us. My son is a night owl and NOT an early riser: forcing him to get up and going early nearly always ends in a meltdown. But letting him sleep later and staying later in the parks means fun for all. He also has said he feels less anxious in the parks in the dark.

Keep up on food and fluid intake. It's easy to lose track of time and wind up over-hungry and/or dehydrated, which will only exacerbate any difficulties.

I've learned to accept that my kiddo hates the noise and crowds of parades and shows, so we mostly skip them entirely. He'll put up with my love of fireworks, but he handles it best if we're away form others as much as possible, and I limit it to one or two nights per trip.

Ask for a DAS card, it is a must for ASD kids and adults. I suggest you let him know about it and if he feels he can benefit from it go a get one at the beginning of your trip. Having a DAS doesn’t mean you have to used for everything, you might use it only for one ride and that’s Ok. My pre-teen High functioning autistic boy can handle a whole day as long as he is not standing in line. He doesn’t feel embarrassed using DAS because he is used to, but with a 15 year old you should ask him if he wants one. When asking for DAS they will take a Picture of him.

Thank you both for the kind responses. With the DAS, does he have to tell the CM why he needs it or can my DH or I do it with him there? He has communication issues (unless he's talking about Minecraft or something along those lines) so I'm guessing it'll be difficult for him to explain why he needs it.

Also, tablets in line, yeah or nay? I'm debating...I hate using it as a crutch, but there are times it's been a lifesaver.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Ask for a DAS card, it is a must for ASD kids and adults.

In all honesty, since any two people with the same diagnosis will likely need different accommodations, DAS may not be a "must" for every single ASD visitor.

Also, tablets in line, yeah or nay? I'm debating...I hate using it as a crutch, but there are times it's been a lifesaver.

It's fine.

 

[gap2368]

Thank you both for the kind responses. With the DAS, does he have to tell the CM why he needs it or can my DH or I do it with him there? He has communication issues (unless he's talking about Minecraft or something along those lines) so I'm guessing it'll be difficult for him to explain why he needs it.

Also, tablets in line, yeah or nay? I'm debating...I hate using it as a crutch, but there are times it's been a lifesaver.

You can talk to the CM about the DAS be ready to tell them his need for the line. Also the guest exsprince team at MK and HS is amazing ( link in my Signature about them)

 

[danielocha30]

Thank you both for the kind responses. With the DAS, does he have to tell the CM why he needs it or can my DH or I do it with him there? He has communication issues (unless he's talking about Minecraft or something along those lines) so I'm guessing it'll be difficult for him to explain why he needs it.

Also, tablets in line, yeah or nay? I'm debating...I hate using it as a crutch, but there are times it's been a lifesaver.

Yes your Husband can ask for DAS.

 

[gatormom2tots]

My son (age 14) is high functioning but can only handle the parks in small quantities (and the heat which he is overly sensitive too) due to anxiety. I think only the first time where we asked why he actually needed it. At this point, we just tell them we need to renew it and they don't even question it.

And now that he is older, he uses his phone with earbuds in line. He use to use his tablet (and we got a couple snarky remarks about kids being at Disney on tablets) but never has he been told the same thing about a phone (maybe because those same people have their nose in a phone as well?!?!?!?). Anyway, I told somebody when she made a remark to her party in a way to make sure I heard something about it was a "shame a kids needs to be on a tablet at Disney" with "well, its shame that not everybody understands what parenting a special needs child on the spectrum is like because I bet there would be a lot less judgement."

 

[danikoski]

My son (age 14) is high functioning but can only handle the parks in small quantities (and the heat which he is overly sensitive too) due to anxiety. I think only the first time where we asked why he actually needed it. At this point, we just tell them we need to renew it and they don't even question it.

And now that he is older, he uses his phone with earbuds in line. He use to use his tablet (and we got a couple snarky remarks about kids being at Disney on tablets) but never has he been told the same thing about a phone (maybe because those same people have their nose in a phone as well?!?!?!?). Anyway, I told somebody when she made a remark to her party in a way to make sure I heard something about it was a "shame a kids needs to be on a tablet at Disney" with "well, its shame that not everybody understands what parenting a special needs child on the spectrum is like because I bet there would be a lot less judgement."

Good for you! It's hard when the disability is basically invisible, especially when it's your kid.

We will probably have the tablet handy as a just in case. We have a TS lunch most days, so we may also use the tablet as a reward to play during lunch while waiting for food if good choices are made (or at least attempted) during the morning.

 

[gatormom2tots]

Good for you! It's hard when the disability is basically invisible, especially when it's your kid.

We will probably have the tablet handy as a just in case. We have a TS lunch most days, so we may also use the tablet as a reward to play during lunch while waiting for food if good choices are made (or at least attempted) during the morning.

You do whatever you need to do for you and your family! Hope you guys have a great trip!

 

[mamabunny]

...And now that he is older, he uses his phone with earbuds in line. He use to use his tablet (and we got a couple snarky remarks about kids being at Disney on tablets) but never has he been told the same thing about a phone (maybe because those same people have their nose in a phone as well?!?!?!?). Anyway, I told somebody when she made a remark to her party in a way to make sure I heard something about it was a "shame a kids needs to be on a tablet at Disney" with "well, its shame that not everybody understands what parenting a special needs child on the spectrum is like because I bet there would be a lot less judgement."

People who make remarks like that tend to leap to conclusions - and to also work from a place of ignorance and denial.

At WDW especially, it's like all the boundaries are broken - people who ordinarily would never say something like that suddenly feel like because we have all been standing in line together for the last 23 minutes, it's OK to tell you how to run your life, or parent your kid, or cure what ails you.

I no longer try to "educate" people at WDW - nowadays, I just give them my biggest old smile, and a heartfelt "Bless your heart!" (if you are from the south, you know exactly how much shade I just pitched back at them) and I ignore them thereafter.

They are the ones with the problem - not you, or your DS, or your family. Sometimes, we just have to make like Elsa, and Let It Go...

 

[Disneylvr]

My 16 year old daughter is on the severe end of the spectrum and we just got back from our most recent WDW vacation. Make full use of FP+ and make sure he has a DAS. We ended up not needing her DAS until Day 3 but it is always comforting to know it is there if needed. Our daughter is non-verbal so we advocate for her at Guest Relations but if you step son wants to speak for himself that is fine or you can do it for him. Just explain why waiting in lines is difficult for him...

We do the parks in small doses like many in this thread. DD can really only take 4-5 hours at most inside the parks. This trip we ended up in First Aid twice, just for a quiet, cool place for her to decompress from the heat and over-stimulation. We go back to our resort every day of the trip. Sometimes we return to the parks in the evening and sometimes we don't. We always plan plenty of pool time for DD as she loves swimming.

You are doing the right thing by planning in advance! I think you will have a fantastic vacation. Our last week was one of our best!

 

[PrincessV]

Thank you both for the kind responses. With the DAS, does he have to tell the CM why he needs it or can my DH or I do it with him there? He has communication issues (unless he's talking about Minecraft or something along those lines) so I'm guessing it'll be difficult for him to explain why he needs it.

My son just turned 17 and we're working a lot on self-advocacy, but he wanted me to do the explaining the first time, so I did. It was very easy, very comfortable, and the CM made sure to include my son in her responses to me, and in explaining how the DAS works, which was great. My son was feeling really awkward and unsure of the whole DAS thing until then, but left feeling comfortable and at ease.

Also, tablets in line, yeah or nay? I'm debating...I hate using it as a crutch, but there are times it's been a lifesaver.

A device is a must for my son in the parks: it allows him to tune out the stimulation around him. He opts for an iPhone because he doesn't want to carry anything bigger around, but a tablet is fine, too. My son rarely uses it in line, though, as we never get in a line more than 15-20 minutes, and he like looking around, taking in the details of the queues. YMMV, of course, so it may be good to have it, just in case. And he knows the "rules": no phone use in dark places, like on a ride or in the HM queue, for instance.

 

[NMK62303]

Our son (who will be 16 next month, started going at age 5 so has been through all sorts of evolutions with the DAS system over the years) uses the DAs as a "reservation". He totally gets that, and is content that we have a "reservation" coming up in the future for a ride of his choice. He has started walking up to the tapstile and alerting the CM saying "I have a DAS" so that when he scans in they are aware - sometimes the tapstiles are so busy and they do have to acknowledge it in order for us to enter behind him. However, one of us (myself, husband, daughters) still goes in advance to the attraction to request the return time, typically because we are zig zagging and can catch up easier.
I hope your family has a great trip! Agree with the recommendations of downtime either in a cool quiet type place or at the resort - it will do everyone some good.

 

[danikoski]

You can talk to the CM about the DAS be ready to tell them his need for the line. Also the guest exsprince team at MK and HS is amazing ( link in my Signature about them)

For the DAS, we have a group of six plus a 19 month old. However, three of the group will be arriving a day later than the rest of us. Will we have to wait for the whole group before my stepson can get the DAS? And will our group size be an issue?

 

[lanejudy]

Your step son can get the DAS on his first day at a park, with the members of your group who are there that day. Once the other members arrive (next day, 2 days later, whatever), you can stop by Guest Relations to have them added as well. As to how many... typically the DAS is good for 6 (DAS-holder plus 5) but that can be extended; it may depend on the attraction. I can't quite tell if your party of 6 includes the DAS-holder or is 6 plus the DAS-holder (7); I don't believe the baby will be any problem as an "extra" since the baby doesn't have a ticket/band.

Enjoy your vacation!

 

[gap2368]

For the DAS, we have a group of six plus a 19 month old. However, three of the group will be arriving a day later than the rest of us. Will we have to wait for the whole group before my stepson can get the DAS? And will our group size be an issue?

you can go in your first day in the park and ask for the DAS if given the DAS the next day you can add the other people to the DAS the number of people should not be a problem the 19-month-old does not count since he/she does not have a ticket

 

[danikoski]

Your step son can get the DAS on his first day at a park, with the members of your group who are there that day. Once the other members arrive (next day, 2 days later, whatever), you can stop by Guest Relations to have them added as well. As to how many... typically the DAS is good for 6 (DAS-holder plus 5) but that can be extended; it may depend on the attraction. I can't quite tell if your party of 6 includes the DAS-holder or is 6 plus the DAS-holder (7); I don't believe the baby will be any problem as an "extra" since the baby doesn't have a ticket/band.

Enjoy your vacation!

6 with stepson, plus the baby. Thanks!

 

[danikoski]

you can go in your first day in the park and ask for the DAS if given the DAS the next day you can add the other people to the DAS the number of people should not be a problem the 19-month-old does not count since he/she does not have a ticket

Thanks!

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

Go with your gut, you know best what he is capable of. I went last year with my son who has Asperger's, he was 15 at the time. He struggles in new situations, but I know I can make it easier on him by making a plan and sticking to it as much as possible. So that's what we did. I also allowed him his space to decompress, didn't force him to spend every moment with us. We avoided any major meltdowns by letting him walk away/go back to the hotel room/sit things out, no questions asked.

And I agree with what others said about doing things in small doses. My son can't handle vacationing from rope drop to fireworks, it's too much stimulation, too many people, too stressful. Just make sure everyone in your party is on board with that ahead of time; on our last trip we took my mother and she did nothing but complain about all the breaks we were taking. No surprise, since she is also in denial about my son's diagnosis!

Forgot to mention that my son refused the DAS. It just made him very uncomfortable. I think we could have done more with it, but I try to respect his opinions, especially about things that directly affect him. He felt very strongly that he didn't want one so we didn't get it. We still had fun.