Tasha's *3rd Time's the Charm* Journal (Comments always welcome!)

[Tasha+Scott]

Hi, everyone! Well, I have debated about whether I even wanted to start another journal. This is my 3rd one in the past 2 years. The first one I was doing WWs online and doing pretty well but dh and I decided to start trying for a baby and we were shocked when I found out I was preg. right away! It happened much faster than we had anticipated. We were thrilled of course but we had expected it take more than 1 try. So I tried to keep up in my journal and stay on track. That's easier said than done when you're pregnant though! So attempt 1 was officially over.

After our dd was born, I tried once again and created my 2nd WISH journal. However, I just didn't seem to have the motivation and that attemp quickly fell to the wayside as well.

SO here I am, attempting this yet again. The difference is this time I am not only motivated but I have actually already begun making changes. I waited to start this journal AFTER I was back on track and not before. I have only been on track a couple of weeks but I feel great and am doing great!

I have completely given up junk food which is a huge thing for me. I am watching portion sizes and as of late last week I have been exercising every night. I have also lost 5 lbs since the end of June! I feel ready and committed to try this again.

So, hi! My name is Tasha. I am 25. I have been married to a wonderful man for 6.5 years. Together we have a beautiful little angel named Kylie Noel who is 14 months old. She is the world to us so you will no doubt hear more about her and often!

We were fortunate enough to celebrate Kylie's 1st b-day at WDW and it was awesome! We are hoping to go to St. Augustine next May, about a week after she turns 2. We are thinking we might start trying for another baby next summer and aim for a 2008 baby and a 3 year age gap between Kylie and a sibling. These are all reasons I am determined to lose weight this time. I do not want to go into another preg. this out of shape and overweight. I also want to look much better in a bathing suit by the time we head to St. Augustine. I have plenty of time to achieve this goal and hope to do so. I am taking it one day at a time. I have no set goal weight right now. I looked really good at 145 lbs (and was told by quite a few people not to lose any more weight) but I didn't look too shabby at 180 either (just my build) so I will see how I feel when I get to that point.

I am not on any specific diet or anything. Just watching what I eat and cutting out junk (except for an occasional treat on holidays and things like that). I have found I do better not doing an actual diet as long as I exercise. I keep the weight off much longer that way. I may decide to join a program in the future but do not plan to right now.

So there you have it. I do not know if I will post everyday but I will post as often as I can. I will try to read others' journals but again I don't know if I can do so everyday but I will do so as often as I can!

I have been known to be longwinded and I know this post is long but forgive me as I am simply trying to do a proper introduction. I will probably not have posts quite this long in the future! Not making promises but I will try my best!

Oh, and comments definitely help keep me motivated so by all means, post away!!!

 

[Minniespal]

Tasha ~ Welcome back to Wish. I'm sure you will do really well this time.

Kylie looks so cute.

 

[toystoryduo]

Welcome Back Tasha!

I'm working on my second journal so I know what you mean! That is great that you have given up junk food and lost 5 pounds! Sounds like a great start to me!

I started reading your trip report and I love it! You are a very good writer, Tasha!

Have a wonderful week!

~Tracy

P.S. I can't believe how much Kylie has grown! She is such a cutie, Tasha!

 

[joelyfaithsmommy]

Hi Tasha...I remember you from when I posted last year...this is my second journal...so I understand....I hope I can be of support to you on your journey!!! Best WISHES for today....and a great weight loss week!

Jen

 

[keenercam]

Congratulations, Tasha, on all the great changes you have already made! So glad to see you back here and posting.

I'm really happy you've joined us on the "Another 100 days cheat-free challenge." I can use all the support I can get.

Keep up the great work. I hope you'll post often, just so we can see that adorable picture of Kylie as frequently as possible!

 

[monymony3471]

Good luck Tasha. I'll be right along with you.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Hey, everyone! Good to see you all again! Thanks for the encouragement! I can use all I can get. I will try my best to read all of your journals tonight. I have been suffering from insomnia a lot lately. I tossed and turned until 5 a.m. last night. I finally fell asleep but woke up again at 8 a.m. Then Kylie got up at 9. I did take an hour and a half nap when Kylie took hers though. I go through spells with the insomnia. I have always been a night owl and it is really hard to try to go to bed early and the less sleep I get the harder it is for me to finally get a good night's sleep. I can't get on the computer until Kylie goes to bed either. She has a fit if I do. For some reason she thinks she is the center of the universe. Hmmm, I wonder who put that idea in her head?! I took a couple of Tylenol PMs a min. ago so hopefully they will kick in soon and help me out! I really do need some sleep!

But anyway...other than that I am having a great day! I am once again cheat-free. It is wonderful to finally have control over my food. It is a shame that I let it have control over me for so long. I also did 35 min. on the treadmill and about 5 min. of sit-ups. I feel great! A pair of jeans that was getting too tight fit this morning! I can really tell I am losing in my stomach (which is my biggest trouble area right now) although I have a long ways to go. I don't know if others can tell yet but I can and it feels so good!

I am having a great week and I hope it stays this way! Okay, well, I have a couple things I need to do and then I will head to read journals! Have a great night!

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Well, I did manage to get 6 hours of sleep last night! I could have used more but that is the most I have gotten in a while so it was still a good thing! I am hoping I will get some sleep tonight too.

Another successful day here. I made my first cheat-free milestone. I am at 10/100 cheat-free days on the challenge. I also managed to walk on the treadmill and do situps and stretches for about 35 min. I always feel so good after exercising! I don't know why I ever stop! Well, I need to catch up on some email, take a shower, and *hopefully* get some sleep! Night!

 

[toystoryduo]

Way to go Tasha! 10/100 days cheat free is wonderful! Keep up the good work!

I know what you mean about the insomnia thing... I go through that a couple of times a year for about a week. I hope that you get lots of rest soon!

Have a great day!

 

[keenercam]

Hey, Tasha! Good job on the first 10 cheat-free days! THey are really the hardest. Now you have it down pat.

I loved your trip report.

Hope you are having a great day! :

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

Hi Tasha!

Welcome back, and I know you can do this. Good luck and keep coming here for encouragement!!

(Your daughter is a cutie!)

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Thanks for the continued encouragement everyone! I am still doing great. Today marks 1 week of exercising every single day. I am actually starting to feel addicted to it which is a good thing. I am also still cheat-free. I can't believe I finally have stopped feeling addicted and controlled by chocolate! I decided to wear a shirt to bed tonight that was getting way too tight and it is now "roomy". It fits great, will probably be loose by next week if I keep this up! I am so happy about this. I just hope I don't lose this motivation. I have a lot to motivate me so I don't plan to lose that focus if I can help it.

Anyway, I haven't been sleeping at all hardly since I last wrote. Way too much going on and way too much on my mind. I really want to go back to school and major in a program I was accepted into a few years ago (but I turned it down back then...long story!) but I missed the deadline to apply. The deadline was April 1. Well, I had been debating about whether I wanted to try to get into the program next fall of 2007. I emailed the 2 instructors over the program simply telling them I had applied a few years ago, been accepted but declined the invitation at the time. I explained why and told her I was interested in reapplying in 2007 and asked her to mail me an application. Well, she said sure and I received it a couple of days ago.

Well, last night I was checking my email and I had one from her that simply said, "Can you please call me and leave me a number where I can contact you. I need to speak with you." This was at 11 p.m. so of course I wondered what that could be about. I knew I wouldn't sleep last night and I didn't. I finally fell asleep at 6 a.m. and Kylie woke me up at 8:30 a.m. I left the instructor a voicemail with my number last night and she called me today. I suspected I knew what it was about and I was right. Despite the fact that I didn't even apply this year they remembered my name from several years ago. I have taken all of my prerequisites and academic courses and only lack my major courses. I also have all A's and have taken a lot of other classes that weren't required but could help me anyway. I also made A's in those. My GPA is nearly perfect and I had a high ACT score in high school and graduated at the top of my class. In college I was elected as the secretary of publications for an honor society. I made "Who's Who" and was asked to be the editor of the school newspaper (although I declined that since I had so much on my plate and I was married and working then too.) I am not trying to brag, just telling you why this woman remembers me so well. My transcripts look really good. So anyway, to make a long story even longer she asked me if I would be interested in entering the program this fall even though I had missed deadline! They told me that I was their prime candidate when I applied last time and they were disappointed when I turned them down but they were excited to have me in the class this year. I swear, I felt like a celebrity the way she was talking, lol!

OMG! I was so excited and thrilled. However, I have issues with the financial aid dept. They told me last year that since I have taken so many classes that I can't get any financial aid, student loans, or scholarships at their school anymore. WTH?! They did say I could appeal this if I wanted. I was told by a friend that I could probably get my financial aid reinstated if I did appeal it so that is the plan. I told the instructor the dilemma and she said she would help me work something out with financial aid so I think it will work out.

My other dilemma is Kylie. I have to find someone to keep her. I start school on Aug. 15 so that doesn't leave much time. I also don't have the money for daycare since we are on 1 income right now. The instructor said they might be able to help with that too but I seriously have a hard time seeing how they could do that. I am going to apply for state childcare assistance for while I am in school but I worry that the process will take too long since I only have a month to do it before I will have to have someone to watch Kylie. BUT Scott's grandmother had offered to keep Kylie at one time if I ever decided to go back to school. I really hate the idea of her keeping her for personal reasons but if worse comes to worst at least I have that option (I hope!). So I am sure it will all work out.

I can't believe I only have a month though to get everything straightened out and to register and everything else. I am trying not to panic b/c I know it will all work out but I just feel like there isn't enough time to do everything. I know it will work out though. Oh, and I am going into Health Information Management in case you're wondering. I am only doing the 2 year degree right now but that is a high demand field right now and I can always go back and get my bachelor's later. I am very excited!

So there will be no more kids for a while which is okay with us. This will ensure that our kids are well provided for financially in the long run which is important. We will worry about having another child after I finish my degree and start my career. There's no rush. If I get financial aid then we will still be going to St. Augustine next Spring (before I start my summer class) but we'll see how that goes first. I am so excited and nervous! Wish me luck! I can't believe that I just found out today that I will be going back to school in 1 month! Please pray that all works out with the financial aid and childcare! Sorry this is so long. I just needed to get it all out!

I don't think I will really sleep tonight but I am going to try so I will try to get to journals tomorrow. Night!

 

[keenercam]

Tasha --
Congratulations on being such an impressive person that the instructor remembered you! That is quite a wonderful thing!
I will keep you in my prayers and send and : that everything works out with financial aid and child care so that you can focus on your education and not worry about those things so much.
Your plan to postpone having another child sounds very well-reasoned and I personally don't feel like there is anything wrong at all with kids being a little more spaced in age. Mine are 5 years apart and it is just the absolute best situation for our family.

Have a great day!

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

Wow, congratulations on getting back to school!! It is a lot to get ready in a short time, but sounds like you're making some good plans. Best of luck to you!!

 

[toystoryduo]

Congratulations Tasha!

That is wonderful news!!!!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers during this time of transition and busyness. I hope that everything works out for you!

Have a great weekend!

 

[kimwim8]

Hi Tasha and welcome back to WISH! I know I've seen you around the boards before and I can't believe how big your daughter is getting! It happens so quickly, doesn't it?

Congrats on your new healthy lifestyle. It sounds like you're doing SO great and you're completely on track!

Keep up the great work, and good luck with school. I'd love to go back and finish my bachelors, but the time just isn't right yet.

Take care!

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Thanks everyone! I am feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed at the moment. Let's just say so far the childcare situation isn't going so great. There are 2 childcare assistance programs. We aren't eligible for 1 because we make too much money. I feel so broke but the lady I talked to said we had to make $368 or less per MONTH in order to qualify. That is the poverty level. Thank God we make considerably more than that. I don't know how anyone could live on that a month! The 2nd program? Well, I talked to a woman that was pretty unhelpful. She basically said that since I am not working I would be considered last for any kind of assistance. I would be going to school all day and wouldn't have anyone to keep Kylie in the evenings or on the weekends (Scott's schedule can get kind of whacky) so I can't work. I asked her if there was an income cutoff and she said not necessarily. Okay, that doesn't help me much at all! She was pretty rude in general but she is sending me an application. I seriously don't feel optimistic about getting it though. We could actually afford daycare this winter b/c Scott makes more money in the colder months but right now there is just no possible way. His grandmother may be our last resort and I really hate the idea of even asking her. I'll let you know what happens with that though.

My FAFSA has been processed and sent to the school I am going to. I fully expect to get a letter saying I am not eligible for financial aid because I have taken too many hours but that I can appeal the decision. Based on my report I am completely eligible for financial aid based on our income. It just depends if the appeal goes well. I am feeling anxious about that too but I think I will have better luck with that than the childcare situation since my program's professors said they would try to help me. If that doesn't work out then school may not be happening this year.

I know this will probably all work out but I am just feeling so anxious about the whole thing. There is such a short amount of time to do everything and I am starting to feel like there are too many obstacles. I am trying to be optimistic though. I will be heading to the school Monday and hopefully will get to meet with my future instructors then so hopefully things will seem better after the meeting. Please keep my situation in your thoughts and prayers! Thanks!

 

[Tasha+Scott]

I am feeling a lot better about the childcare situation now. I am going to check out a daycare center on Monday which is literally right next door to the elementary school Kylie will be attending in a few years. It looks nice on the outside and I really liked the director when I spoke to her on the phone. She told me to come on up there on Monday and she would give me a tour and introduce me to the teachers. She also said she understood what I am going through with the whole financial aspect of daycare and trying to go back to school. She said she's been there, done that, and has 3 kids so she will try to work with me. I am going to the college to meet with the professors (hopefully) and see if they have any news for me first. Then I am going there and I am praying that I like this daycare because the location is just perfect! Wish me luck on that. I am going to see what she might be able to do to help me out. I told Scott if worse comes to worst I will see if she will let me work part-time a couple days a week to pay for Kylie's childcare. I really don't want to do that though. It will be a last resort.

Fortunately, Scott should be receiving some money (from when his old company was bought out last year. It turns out they owe him some money!) in 4-6 weeks. It will pay for between 3-4 months of daycare! So it looks like it will probably all work out. Now I hope that things just hurry up and get taken care of in the financial aid for school dept.! I can't believe I am supposed to start school 1 month from today! I haven't even registered for classes yet. I am hoping they will have me do that next week, preferably Monday when I go up there. So thanks to all of you who have been thinking good thoughts or praying for me. I think it will all work out but if not, then I *know* it will work next year. I sure would like to go this year though!

On to more good news. Dh and I left Kylie with his mom today while we went and grabbed a bite at the mall and went to see POTC 2. I weighed myself and I am down 2 lbs since last Sunday! I am so happy to finally feel like I am getting somewhere. I thought it would be more though truthfully. I have been a working out machine for 8 days and counting. I also haven't cheated at all. Dh had some M&Ms at the movies and offered me some! I just gave him a look and he realized what he said and said, "OH, YEAH! Oops! I forgot!" I told him I have given up chocolate except for occasionally on special occasions. He's been really good about not tempting me till now. The good news is I didn't feel tempted anyway. Besides, I don't even like M&Ms, lol! I haven't done my workout for today yet but I always do that after Kylie goes to bed so I will be doing that soon! Night!

 

[keenercam]

Hi, Tasha! I have been checking to see if you have updated your journal. I was wondering how things went at school yesterday and visiting the day care center. I have been sending you positive vibes and pixiedust. : Are ya feelin' it?

Be sure to check in and let us know how everything is going. Don't let the obstacles get you down, kiddo. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Hi everyone! Please do me a favor and please pray for my dh! My dh's parents took him to the ER about an hour and a half ago. He was having severe abdominal and back pain. He was in so much pain that he was actually starting to cry which is not at all like my dh! It had both Kylie and me pretty scared. Kylie kept looking at me and going, "Dada?" I kept trying to reassure her he was okay but I was pretty shook up seeing him cry myself!

Someone told him it sounded like kidney stones but of course to me it sounds like it could be any number of things...apendicitis, pulled muscle, etc. I am very worried about him! I wish I were with him. He and I decided it would be best if I stay here and put Kylie to bed instead of taking her to an ER where we would probably be for quite a while. He is supposed to call as soon as he has news. Please pray it is nothing serious. I will update when I know anything. TIA!

P.S. A lot has happened with the daycare/school situation but right now it just doesn't seem important while I am so worried about Scott! I will update about that when I know my dh is okay!