Talk about greedy

[Justanopinion]

Just a small family rant here.

My mother was adopted at birth. She had one brother who had 2 bio kids and adopted his second wife's 2 kids. His oldest son, my cousin, was the first grandchild so therefore was spoiled and favored by my grandmother.

My grandmother also came from a generation that men take care of women and men handle financial matters. Up until about a year ago he was named as executor of grandma's will, but that changed when he really hurt her and all but stole from her. She then changed her will to name my mother as executor and left him out of the will(he did have joint tenancy on some houses with her so it's not like he gets nothing).

Well, since grandma passed away last month he is now contesting the will. His first objection is that the only heirs are himself, my mother, and his bio brother. What about the rest of us? I can only assume that his thinking is that the law states that adopted children can not be left out of a will but that the adoptees children do not have to be included.

So wow, just wow. All of sudden I just don't exist. My brother and sister don't exist. We aren't even getting that much. Even when he was named executor we were set to get the same amount. Does he really not want us to have anything?

And to think, that last week of this woman's life was spent on a respiratory all but in a coma. My mother, sister and I held her hand for hours daily. We were there till the very end. He showed up for 10 minutes to verify she was ill and then left town to go to the OU/TX game. His brother flew in from California and spent maybe 30 minutes with her before he left and went to the game.

But yet I don't exist. Wow. How greedy some people can get.

 

[bumbershoot]

 

[My sister's princess]

I am sorry to hear of you loss.

 

[DisneyMomOK]

Just a small family rant here.

My mother was adopted at birth. She had one brother who had 2 bio kids and adopted his second wife's 2 kids. His oldest son, my counsin, was the first grandchild so therefore was spoiled and favored by my grandmother.

My grandmother also came from a generation that men take care of women and men handle financial matters. Up until about a year ago he was named as executor of grandma's will, but that changed when he really hurt her and all but stole from her. She then changed her will to name my mother as executor and left him out of the will(he did have joint tenancy on some houses with her so it's not like it gets nothing).

Well, since grandma passed away last month he is now contesting the will. His first objection is that the only heirs are himself, my mother, and his bio brother. What about the rest of us? I can only assume that his thinking is that the law states that adopted children can not be left out of a will but that the adoptees children do not have to be included.

So wow, just wow. All of sudden I just don't exist. My brother and sister don't exist. We aren't even getting that much. Even when he was named executor we were set to get the same amount. Does he really not want us to have anything?

And to think, that last week of this woman's life was spent on a respiratory all but in a coma. My mother, sister and I held her hand for hours daily. We were there till the very end. He showed up for 10 minutes to verify she was ill and then left town to go to the OU/TX game. His brother flew in from California and spent maybe 30 minutes with her before he left and went to the game.

But yet I don't exist. Wow. How greedy some people can get.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad a few months ago and I know how sad this can be, especially around the holidays.

If there was no will (although in your case, there is, but it is being contested) and your uncle is not living, the estate would be passed to your Mother and your Uncle's children: the estate passes per stipes (in other words, based on the number of children your Grandmother had.) I don't understand the exclusion of the adopted children, but I would think he wants the proceeds to be based on your Mother receiving half the estate and he and his brother the other half for his deceased father's share. Best of luck on this; I know there is nothing worse than family's being hurt over money.

 

[mumom95]

My grandmother always said death brings out the best in some people and the worst in others.

 

[DisneyMomOK]

My grandmother always said death brings out the best in some people and the worst in others.

Your Grandmother was a very astute person.

 

[mumom95]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad a few months ago and I know how sad this can be, especially around the holidays.

If there was no will (although in your case, there is, but it is being contested) and your uncle is not living, the estate would be passed to your Mother and your Uncle's children: the estate passes per stipes (in other words, based on the number of children your Grandmother had.) I don't understand the exclusion of the adopted children, but I would think he wants the proceeds to be based on your Mother receiving half the estate and he and his brother the other half for his deceased father's share. Best of luck on this; I know there is nothing worse than family's being hurt over money.

My grandmother had two children, my mom and my uncle. My mother passed away 2 months before my grandmother. My grandmother's will had stated that her estate (which wasn't very large) was to be split between my mother and my uncle. Since my mother had passed away, my uncle got half of her estate and the other half was divided between my sister and I, since my mother was gone. But my cousins (my uncle's kids) didn't get anything, because my uncle got that half (if all of that makes sense).

My sister and I felt bad (although, my cousins never acted like they were upset, they understood why we got money and they didn't), so we took the money we inherited, divided it by 6 (the number of great grandchildren my grandma had, this included my cousins kids) and put it in college funds for all of the great grandchildren. The oldest of the great grandchildren will start college next year, and it's almost like a little bit of grandma will be going to school with each of them because of the this. It's a nice feeling. She was an amazing woman.

 

[Stitchfans]

My grandmother always said death brings out the best in some people and the worst in others.

You beat me to it. That is what I've always heard.

You want to see the true side of some people? Involve money into the topic.

 

[diznygirl]

My grandmother had two children, my mom and my uncle. My mother passed away 2 months before my grandmother. My grandmother's will had stated that her estate (which wasn't very large) was to be split between my mother and my uncle. Since my mother had passed away, my uncle got half of her estate and the other half was divided between my sister and I, since my mother was gone. But my cousins (my uncle's kids) didn't get anything, because my uncle got that half (if all of that makes sense).

My sister and I felt bad (although, my cousins never acted like they were upset, they understood why we got money and they didn't), so we took the money we inherited, divided it by 6 (the number of great grandchildren my grandma had, this included my cousins kids) and put it in college funds for all of the great grandchildren. The oldest of the great grandchildren will start college next year, and it's almost like a little bit of grandma will be going to school with each of them because of the this. It's a nice feeling. She was an amazing woman.

What a great thing to do!

 

[DisneyMomOK]

My grandmother had two children, my mom and my uncle. My mother passed away 2 months before my grandmother. My grandmother's will had stated that her estate (which wasn't very large) was to be split between my mother and my uncle. Since my mother had passed away, my uncle got half of her estate and the other half was divided between my sister and I, since my mother was gone. But my cousins (my uncle's kids) didn't get anything, because my uncle got that half (if all of that makes sense).

My sister and I felt bad (although, my cousins never acted like they were upset, they understood why we got money and they didn't), so we took the money we inherited, divided it by 6 (the number of great grandchildren my grandma had, this included my cousins kids) and put it in college funds for all of the great grandchildren. The oldest of the great grandchildren will start college next year, and it's almost like a little bit of grandma will be going to school with each of them because of the this. It's a nice feeling. She was an amazing woman.

It must be the genes, because you and your sister are also amazing women. How generous and wonderful you both are!

 

[DisneyMomOK]

You want to see the true side of some people? Involve money into the topic.

Someone told me that when folks start saying, "It's the principle...", it is really about the money. Every time I hear that said now, I have to smile.

Edit: Oh dear, I should have thought about the topic before I posted. Please, OP, don't think I meant your unhappiness over this; I meant that your cousin is probably saying that is the reason he is contesting the will for himself and his brother. My apologies if it sounded the other way.

 

[Stitchfans]

Someone told me that when folks start saying, "It's the principle...", it is really about the money. Every time I hear that said now, I have to smile.

Have to smile, Otherwise the tears may appear. Can be quite frustrating.

 

[NewCrew42]

My grandmother always said death brings out the best in some people and the worst in others.

So true!

 

[manning]

Had a step-sister who did the same thing. My dad and step-mom had everything set up so we would split everything down the middle. Dad died first. Step-sister live in NC, the rest of us in Ill. Mom got dementia an was out of it. Her daughter took her to NC pronto, had the wills changed and tried to grab everything. I got maybe 10% of what I should have.

I shrugged my shoulders and said life is too short for this. You want it that bad you can have it. However I did have my lawyer draft a letter in a way that they may have spent the rest of their time looking over their shoulders. There was some fraud involved and I let them know I knew about it. After that I never thought anything about it. As far as I know they may all be dead by now.