Taking school kids off campus without permission?

[AprilShowers]

Sorry, this is a long vent.
DDs (10&12) go to a Catholic School. There are two Catholic schools in our town, and they are merging, because the smaller school (not ours) has been struggling for some time. There is a TON of animosity and bad feelings going around here because of the merge. (they will be using MOSTLY our school building from now on)

TODAY, my girls tell me they are being bussed over to school #2 for Mass with the other kids. (who will be their classmates next year).
The reason given for this was it would be their last mass (for school #2) together.
I am ticked at a couple of levels:
#1, there was no mention of the kids going to the other school for Mass except in the Friday newsletter which I DON'T get about 90% of the time. The kids were told the bus would be leaving 10 mins before school started. DD12 sprinted to school to catch her bus to the other school because hers was leaving first. (we only live a few houses from school, but I wasn't dressed yet or I would have taken her)

#2. Wouldn't you think those kids at school #2 would want to celebrate their last mass together without all those outsiders? I know I would!!!
Why in the world do our kids need to take a bus about 8 blocks to their school to "but in" on their probably very meaningful last school Mass????

There were no permission slips sent home, and I just found out the kids walked back to school after mass!!! I know it's only 8 blocks, and it's beautiful outside, but without the parents permission?????
What if something happened????
I guarantee you that I'm not the only parent who didn't know about this mass because the neighbor girl told me that she didn't know till she got to school this a.m. I'm SURE her mother knew NOTHING of it!!!! At least I had some warning (5 mins).
What would you do? Should I call the school? Call the advisory board? The priest who is the superintendant?

 

[lulugirl]

What would I do?
Frankly, I wouldn't do anything because what you described doesn't sound like something worth complaining about.

 

[CEDmom]

Being a private school I imagine they have much more latitude on these things than public schools. Is it possible you signed a blanket permission slip with all the other forms thrown at parents at the beginning of the school year? I guess I'd call the school and ask about the policy on these types of things. Do they have a website they can post to that parents can monitor? Given the ages of your DD's I wouldn't make that big a deal of it. Had they been 6 or 7 I'd likely feel differently.

 

[mickeyboat]

We signed a blanket permission slip at the beginning of the school year giving permission for field trips. Did your school have such a thing on file?

If the newsletter did go out on Friday, and your daughters - who IMO are old enough and responsible enough to tell you about it - had told you when they first found out, you would have had enough time to tell the school that you did not approve of the trip, and would not agree to let your children participate.

I don't know. I think instead of complaining to the school about this so late in the year, I would bring it to their attention as an avenue to suggest there should be a better way to communicate with parents, since you say you rarely receive the newsletter. Maybe suggest a website which is updated on a regular basis to let parents know what is going on.

Denae

CEDmom - we posted at the same time. Great minds think alike!

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I'm not sure why you are upset? Just because your daughter found out last minute and had to rush to school? Yes, that does sound unorganized.

I'm not Catholic but frankly I'm just not in favor of worship services being "just for" a particular group of people. To me, that kind of attitude is going to divide the students of your school for years to come if that is the way the parents feel. In our Church, their are no outsiders.

 

[Disney Doll]

Sounds like you're one of the folks with animosity.

Doesn't sound like this is something I'd be making an issue of.

 

[crazee4mickey]

Kids at our school are always going on hikes, jogs, leprechaun hunts(on St.Pat's Day) all over our community and we aren't notified every time---doesn't seem like that big of a deal!

 

[momrek06]

OP: I am sorry you are upset with the School situation BUT really it seems rather minor to me. My DS' both went to Catholic school their entire lives and are currently attending a Catholic college.

We have THREE Catholic schools here in our town and they all try to work very closely with each other DESPITE the fact they all compete with each other for sports...i.e. basketball etc.

MASS is a Celebration and your DD's school would never look at it as "BUTTING IN" but instead of a joining together of EVERYONE in a Celebration of a NEW start for the students LOSING their school and having to make the BIG move.

OP: Did your DD's forget to bring the notice home that mentioned the Mass and the walking back to school after Mass? My DS' were frequently forgeting notices when they were young.

I probably would not call anyone, your DD's made it in time for the Bus over to the Mass and no one was hurt on the walking trip back to their school.

Everyone is fine. And for all you know, one of those or two of those NEW students could ultimately end up being BESTEST FRIENDS with your daughters!!! That would be so SWEET!

 

[daisyduck123]

I don't think I'd be mad about it. It was in the school bulletin. As a teacher, I know that many things "happen" to bulletins on the way home after we teachers make sure they are put into the backpacks.

I would be more concerned with all the trouble that seems to be brewing at this school.....people at both schools need to stop referring to the 2 schools as "us" & "them". The parents are going to have to start saying "we" & work on promoting a more healthy, nurturing atmosphere for the kids. The kids are going to be quick to pick up on all the negative attitudes.

 

[AprilShowers]

Yikes! Boy you guys really took me to task! Thanks for your opinions. I am inclined to sometimes overreact, and you called me on it.

The only reason I was talking about "us and them" is because I felt it should be a special school mass for the children at the smaller school. They are a very close-knit group because of their size, and I'm sure this would have been a very intimate (probably tearful and meaningful) gathering for them if DDs school had not attended.

I think group worship is wonderful, and I also think that another "joint" mass is a very good idea, I don't however think that their last all-school mass should have been attended by kids from another school. Maybe the kids from the smaller school doesn't feel that way, but I sure would.
The kids from these two schools worship together all the time, and we have a joint Vacation Bible School. Many of them are family and lots of them are already friends.

IF there had been a permission slip, I certainly would have signed it with no problems. The kids were told at school, mine just forgot to tell me. Most kids forget things from time to time.

DD10 just went on a field trip last week and was REQUIRED to have her permission slip in two days before hand. I count this Mass as a field trip, and while I won't make a big deal, I think the school should always cover themselves with permission slips. If for nothing more than informing the parents, since the Friday newsletter is sometimes MIA.

Thanks again, everyone for setting me straight. I know that I can sometimes blow things out of proportion, and it's good to get an outsiders point of view.

 

[Daxx]

I don't think I'd be mad about it. It was in the school bulletin. As a teacher, I know that many things "happen" to bulletins on the way home after we teachers make sure they are put into the backpacks.

I would be more concerned with all the trouble that seems to be brewing at this school.....people at both schools need to stop referring to the 2 schools as "us" & "them". The parents are going to have to start saying "we" & work on promoting a more healthy, nurturing atmosphere for the kids. The kids are going to be quick to pick up on all the negative attitudes.

Catholic school teacher here and ITA w/you, Daisyduck123!

OP: You stated that it was mentioned in the Friday newsletter. What more do you want from the school? They've mentioned it in the newsletter. The school gives your child the newsletter and it's your child's responsibility to bring that newsletter home. How is it the school's fault if your DD didn't bring the newsletter home? Perhaps the Mass isn't deemed as needing a permission slip. I don't know your school's policy ... but at my school, a permission slip is not required for field trips less than a mile from the school.

How can you grouse at the school when you've stated that the information was in their newsletter? If you're not receiving the newsletter, why not call the school or another parent and ask if they can fill you in on any important info from the bulletin if your children aren't bringing it home every Friday? At least you'll be "in the loop"!

Like DaisyDuck123 said, we teachers put all the important info. into the bookbags, but we can't control what the kids do w/the stuff once they leave the classroom.

I wouldn't grouse at the school ... after all, they DID inform parents about this in their Friday newsletter. I'd grouse at your DD's for not bringing the newsletter home to you. And, honestly, you should've said something to the teacher when you discovered you were getting newsletters about 10% of the time. I'm going to guess, by the ages of your children, that they've been going to this school for awhile. If that's true, then you should know the newsletter routine by now - how often it comes out, when to expect it. Don't go blaming it on the school or teachers for not providing the newsletter, esp. if you've been w/the school for awhile.

Finally, next year, see if you can make other arrangements to get the newsletter if your DD's aren't bringing it home.

OP -- You posted as I was writing. Please don't think my post is meant to be harsh ... just to inform. Anyway, I'm glad that you are finding our replies helpful!!!!