Taking Kids Out of School

[disneydentist]

Here's the bottom line for me and then I'm done, mostly because I need to get over to the planning area so that I can plan the trip where my first grader will miss a week of school.

I'm going to make the decisions for my family in a smart, respectful way that tries to preserve school funding. However, my decisions are non-negotiable.

Assuming you are gainfully employed, do you take this attitude to work with you?

 

[Frozen2014]

Yep...we specifically selected a week in October to pull them out of school for the advantage of smaller crowds. Now our kids are still young...one in kindergarden and the other entering grade 4, so not a big deal.

Ironically though, we are now learning of fall breaks that some US schools have. Had we known, we would have selected another time, maybe in November (We're from Canada)

 

[cattywampus]

Assuming you are gainfully employed, do you take this attitude to work with you?

So funny how snarky people get when challenged and how they try and make non-relevant comparisons.

I missed school for vacations and other activities (which provided non-classroom knowledge that I use every day), graduated from a top ten university, and have a director level position with a six figure salary. So, yes I am gainfully employed. I can assure you that I did not get where I am by folding every time a conflict arises. However, my career life is completely irrelevant to this topic.

For the record, I would think parenting would better equate to being president of your own company (though I find these comparisons to be overreaching, at best): 1) you become as knowledgeable as you can; 2), are keenly aware that your decisions directly affect the well being of others; 3) are open to new thoughts and ways of doing things; 4) listen to advice, but trust your gut; and 5) stand up and make the decisions you believe are in the best interest of the company and it's employees and take full responsibility for the decisions that you made.

That's about as close to parenting as the work model gets.

 

[MakiraMarlena]

so we really have somebody here who writes in and says their kid is going to be sick for a week (I'm guessing because the school district has no allowance for vacation as an excused absence)? I assume they have only one kid, it could end up not working with multiple kids when they're all sick at the same time.

 

[cattywampus]

so we really have somebody here who writes in and says their kid is going to be sick for a week (I'm guessing because the school district has no allowance for vacation as an excused absence)? I assume they have only one kid, it could end up not working with multiple kids when they're all sick at the same time.

You do it after, not before. You are correct, the school would miss out on funding for vacation days. ... and it is not unheard of for an entire family to have the flu.

If the school would rather I write we were on vacation, I would be happy to do so. So far, they are happy to have their funding preserved, and I don't blame them. That is why I have always done it this way. The teachers know (and have always given their blessing).

 

[MaryKatesMom]

Agree. But I would be careful about the conclusion you draw about AP classes. They are nothing like they were when you and I took them. When your 11 year old gets to be a sophmore or junior, you will see. In fact, watching several hours of bozemanscience on-line lectures and Kahn Academy lectures was required as part of my daughter's Bio class studies. And that was in addition to the text reading. There simply would be no way to do all of that while on vacation, or in advance of vacation. There literally are not enough hours in the day to do a week's worth of reading and lecture viewing in a binge session. It really had to be done one day at a time.

I agree that if a family goes on vacation, it should be a vacation for everyone. And doing 4 or 5 hours of homework at night after coming back from a park is never going to happen. My daughter would have killed me if I tried to take her out of school last year. As much as lower crowds would have seemed to be "good for the family", the overall effect would have been a real hardship on her. Sort of defeats the purpose, no?

I agree about high school getting harder. Probably has a lot to do with increased competition for college spots but that is another topic.

While I easily pulled my kids out until 8th grade, our high school is a whole other animal. There is simply to much classroom instruction missed. We had our Easter vacation sharply reduced because of snow days but the vacation was long planned and flights purchased Our high school does not set a limit on absences, however, they do have a policy 90 and above grade AND less than 10 days missed and you are excused from finals. So I called the school and they agreed the 3 days missed wouldn't count against my DD but missing the work was a struggle. Even though she got the notes from her classmates and did the homework she missed the instruction.

I will disagree with PP's who say it has nothing to do with Family time. They forget that many jobs don't coincide with the school schedule. My DH did not join us for our last trip and is only able to make 1/2 of our next trip. It is easier for him to take time off in the winter.

Also, traveling during peak is so much more expensive. Easter week was so darn expensive. It could be make or break for many families.

 

[MichiganDVC]

Although I wanted to read all 9 pages of this thread...I really did.... I just skipped ahead to my reply and I apologize if someone already said this, but...

I put all of my assignments online now. I do this for absent students, with the expectation that they complete the work at home (unless seriously ill) and arrive to the next class fully caught up. This includes videos, presentations, key points from class discussions as well as typical paper-pen assignments.

Having said that, each teacher and school is different and may not have the knowledge or technology to do this. But if your kids' teachers do have electronically-available assignments, they could get a bit of their work done on vacation and not really miss too much.

 

[cattywampus]

Although I wanted to read all 9 pages of this thread...I really did.... I just skipped ahead to my reply and I apologize if someone already said this, but...

I put all of my assignments online now. I do this for absent students, with the expectation that they complete the work at home (unless seriously ill) and arrive to the next class fully caught up. This includes videos, presentations, key points from class discussions as well as typical paper-pen assignments.

Having said that, each teacher and school is different and may not have the knowledge or technology to do this. But if your kids' teachers do have electronically-available assignments, they could get a bit of their work done on vacation and not really miss too much.

Nice! Really appreciate teachers like you!

 

[Aliceacc]

I put mine online as well, and record videos.

But they're intended to supplement what I do in class, not to replace it.

 

[nkereina]

Didn't read all the replies, but the ones I did read have valid points on both sides. Tough call! I have no kids, so I have no real opinion.

My parents pulled me out for a trip to WDW for 2 whole weeks when I was in the 4th grade. I went to a small private school, so the teachers were very flexible on this. We had another girl who was out for a whole month because her parents had a work assignment in Puerto Rico. They worked with her too.

I will say that had I been much older, there would have been a lot more work to make up and harder work at that. For younger kids, I would think it's a little easier. But OPs kids are older. And for the 12th grader, if that were me, I'd be concerned about missing any special events at school since it's their senior year, and sounds like it falls around President's Week. When I was in high school, we had special things for seniors go on every other week or so, especially the Fridays before long weekends/breaks.

Go with your gut, OP! Might be your last chance if your senior goes away to college. As an adjunct professor at a university, the attendance policies in college are non-negotiable

 

[jerseygal]

At your children's ages, imo, there is too much valuable classtime and homework to make up.

There are many times of the school year where traveling is much less expensive than school vacations or summer. Of course, it is "attractive", but your children may wind up "paying" for taking vacation with missed assignments, missed classtime, etc....

Your one child is in 12th grade, correct?My son just graduated from high school. Even during Jan-May, he was working aggressively on senior mastery presentations, seniorprojects, etc. Too much to miss in our school district!

 

[Angel Ariel]

So funny how snarky people get when challenged and how they try and make non-relevant comparisons.

I don't feel challenged by you at all. I just don't feel that the combative tone of your posts reflects the respectfulness you say you have towards teachers.

 

[Aurora0427]

I cannot believe the amount of people bashing on school districts about the funding issue. Wow. The administrators have a duty to preserve as much funding as possible to provide an education for ALL of the students in the district. That's a good thing IMO. Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

AMEN. It's not the districts fault that the state makes their funding dependent on attendance. In Texas, excused absences count against funding. How in the world are they supposed to provide education and extracurricular activities with decreased funding? Gimme a break.


And of course it's about the money. How do you expect them to educate your kids without money? Don't be pissed off at the schools, be pissed off at your state legislature.

 

[asmit4]

AMEN. It's not the districts fault that the state makes their funding dependent on attendance. In Texas, excused absences count against funding. How in the world are they supposed to provide education and extracurricular activities with decreased funding? Gimme a break.

The bashing is because the districts-falsely- make it about how your kid can't possibly survive 5th grade if you take them to Disney for a week. When the reality is that 80% of kids CAN get As and Bs and manage to miss a week of school. They make parents to feel like they are criminals. When we ALL know it is about the $$$......

Just come OUT with it- tell us it IS about the $$$, and require the parents to pay up for the missed days. Don't make a 5 day absence become a federal case of horrid parenting and subterfuge. Just ADMIT that you need the $$.

 

[MichiganDVC]

So as it turns out, I DID choose to read all 9 pages....

Honestly... (and no offense is meant) but this is part of the reason we do send our daughter to a private school. She is gifted and ahead of public school curriculum, has been since pre-k so we send her to a school that has an advanced curriculum. I love her school. It is a great community and they are very willing to work with the parents. Students are allowed to miss 20 days before they flunk a grade (K-5)

Of course they're willing to "work" with you. They are taking your cash and want to do so next year as well. Plus, they are held accountable to ZERO outside state-mandated testing. So, in the end, it doesn't really matter if the students are learning...it matters if they get their tuition.

And for those that say that "those private schools have to maintain excellent academics or people will stop paying to go there," you forget that private schools automatically weed out the poor kids, special ed kids, emotionally challenged kids, and kids of parents who don't care about education. But just doing that, your scores will be higher than a traditional public school which is required to equally educate all the aforementioned kids.

School districts are out of control. The only real reason they have these "unexcused" absence policies is because their funding gets dinged. They couldn't care less about the kids -- just the money.

Not sure about this for all states. We have "count day" twice a year and this dictates our funding. Last time I checked, funding doesn't fluctuate day to day based on absences.
So, for our district in Michigan, concern about absences is about success on test scores and graduation rates. Strong connection between kids who have many absences and then scoring low or not graduating. These laws aren't made to stop parents from taking their kids to WDW for a week.

If they are allowed to give you work ahead of time, be kind in acknowledging that it is a decent amount of work to put together whatever packets of work you may get to take with you on vacation. Make sure your kids actually do the work that the teacher took the time to put together for you. It may not be fun to do homework on vacation, but if you're going to ask that the teacher take the time to provide the work then show respect for the teacher by having it done when the student returns to class. If you know before your trip that you're not going to get the homework done while you're gone, then don't ask for it in the first place.

Thank you! I was noticing a bit of an undercurrent through a few posts that implied that some teachers wouldn't cooperate with providing material ahead of time, etc... But imagine, for that teacher, when 30 kids do that. Or for me, 180 kids. I think a lot of parents are under the impression that their kid is the only kid in class, or that they are an exception. It is a lot of work to try to catch up a kid from one day's absence. One week is even harder. Now imagine 5 kids absent. Now imagine 30 kids absent for varying amounts of time over the course of a month.

I struggle with this issue too... I would love to take my kids out for a gorgeous week at WDW in September, but I don't know if I could let go of my "control-freakishness" to give my classes over to a sub for a week...

Of course, then you would be fired for taking time off of work for a vacation. Or at least not paid. Regardless of how much time you spent on air-tight lesson plans for your sub....

My child is a well adjusted child who is well liked by his peers and teachers, who is being raised with a healthy respect for others and a good dose of thinking for himself. But thank you for your concern.

Honestly, if you bring this attitude into parent-teacher conferences or other communications with your kid's teachers and encourage your child to act the same way, your kid isn't "well liked." He/she and you are being "tolerated" with a keen eye on the part of the calendar that says "June."

 

[Aurora0427]

The bashing is because the districts-falsely- make it about how your kid can't possibly survive 5th grade if you take them to Disney for a week. When the reality is that 80% of kids CAN get As and Bs and manage to miss a week of school. They make parents to feel like they are criminals. When we ALL know it is about the $$$...... Just come OUT with it- tell us it IS about the $$$, and require the parents to pay up for the missed days. Don't make a 5 day absence become a federal case of horrid parenting and subterfuge. Just ADMIT that you need the $$.

As a recent former teacher I can tell you that the more a child is in school, the more they'll learn. Yes, SOME kids can miss 5 days of school and be just fine. Others can't. Our school never gives A students any flack about missing school. But C and D students have no business leaving school for a five day vacay during the school year. And there are parents out there who think taking a C & D student out is no biggie. But those students typically miss a ton of school anyway, which is why their grades are rotten.

I have no issue with taking your kids out- that's on you if they fall behind. But stop bashing school districts because they want your kid in school- for the much needed funding AND for their own educational benefit.

 

[Love Tink]

I put mine online as well, and record videos.

But they're intended to supplement what I do in class, not to replace it.

The bashing is because the districts-falsely- make it about how your kid can't possibly survive 5th grade if you take them to Disney for a week. When the reality is that 80% of kids CAN get As and Bs and manage to miss a week of school. They make parents to feel like they are criminals. When we ALL know it is about the $$$......

Just come OUT with it- tell us it IS about the $$$, and require the parents to pay up for the missed days. Don't make a 5 day absence become a federal case of horrid parenting and subterfuge. Just ADMIT that you need the $$.

Except it is most assuredly NOT all about the money. Yes, financial realities are a big part of public education - and since most administrators only have about 5% of their budget to "play" with, every dollar counts. (And why does this make you so angry?)

But every legitimate educator and administrator also truly believes that it is important to be in school. Real teachers don't think that a few handouts or a post online is the same thing as being in the classroom and being a part of the discussion. You're exaggerating when you say that teachers criminalize parents - but they aren't really doing their job if they don't try to make you understand how important school is.

I took my kids out almost every year when they were in elementary school. We were honest about it and we made the decision that worked for us. But I always understood it to be a choice, and I never resented the teachers or school for having the attitude that we were making the wrong choice. That is supposed to be how they feel. They are supposed to think your child's time is well-spent at school! I would never want a teacher who would say, "Well, they won't miss anything important here anyway."

 

[jacksonsmom]

When my son was in elementary school I had no issues taking him out and neither did he making up the missed work or catching back up.

Middle school, we didn't do it as much, and if we did we made it for a couple days before a break or something. He really didn't want to miss more than 2 or 3 days in a roll at middle school. He was in some advance classes and in his science class there was a lot of lab type stuff, that can't really be sent home.

Now he is entering High school, HE has told me he does not want to miss any school, (unless he is sick or a family emergency, of course) He will have advance classes, plus he is very involved in band and with being in 3 different band programs, he is always doing something after school with band.

So now our next vacation I scheduled is during his spring break, that way he will not miss a single day. We are now stuck to the school calendar, summer, spring break or winter break.

So I would talk to your older children, especially, check into their classes, their activities and of course state testing and with the HS end of the semester finals.

 

[sgfgrover15]

My DH works in a career where vacation time is awarded based solely on seniority and the folks with 40 years on the job take those "status" weeks just because they can which means the young guys with kids that want to go on a family vacation have to do it during the school year. In elementary we were lucky that the teachers just asked that the kids do a paragraph every day that included something about math and one thing they learned (they had to know the child read it themselves and interpreted it themselves and wrote it in their own words) and they did not have to do make up work.

In High School where we lived in a fairly transient area unless a child was sick and after more than 3 days it had to be documented there was absolutely no concession for family circumstances. None. We didn't take more than a long weekend for years and even then had to say the kids were ill. We felt horrible doing it because we were teaching our children to lie and the school knew in reality since I would put our request in every year and we were denied every year.

I have no issue with folks taking their kids out but I also understand individual circumstances where older kids have to be part of that discussion due to their own concerns with making up school work and stress levels.

 

[asmit4]

When my son was in elementary school I had no issues taking him out and neither did he making up the missed work or catching back up.

Middle school, we didn't do it as much, and if we did we made it for a couple days before a break or something. He really didn't want to miss more than 2 or 3 days in a roll at middle school. He was in some advance classes and in his science class there was a lot of lab type stuff, that can't really be sent home.

Now he is entering High school, HE has told me he does not want to miss any school, (unless he is sick or a family emergency, of course) He will have advance classes, plus he is very involved in band and with being in 3 different band programs, he is always doing something after school with band.

So now our next vacation I scheduled is during his spring break, that way he will not miss a single day. We are now stuck to the school calendar, summer, spring break or winter break.

So I would talk to your older children, especially, check into their classes, their activities and of course state testing and with the HS end of the semester finals.

If your kids are the kind of kids that are responsible and will give you an honest answer then YES ask your kids. When I was in HS I did not want to miss more than 3 days in a row because my schedule was packed with AP/honors classes.

My family took an entire week in K-8 but in HS I took 3 days in January for an extended weekend to go skiing and in the spring we usually took 3 more days to go somewhere warm. It was 6 days total but I felt- as a student- much more on top of things taking two 3 day breaks instead of 1 long one.