Taking A Friend's Child on Vacation

[dis75ney]

Hello!

My best friend has a seven (almost eight) year old daughter, Anna. Anna has been begging to join us on an upcoming trip to WDW/Universal ever since she could speak, and my friend and I feel she is at the right age for her to join DH, DS, and myself on our next trip (we are looking at November/December or sometime next spring). My friend is all for us taking Anna, as she is not certain that she would ever be able to afford to take her herself. She will write a letter giving us permission to bring Anna with us and will get it notarized. She will also provide copies of medical insurance and write a second letter authorizing DH and I to obtain medical care for Anna if needed.

Here's the monkey wrench: My friend and Anna's father were never married, and broke up shortly after Anna was born because Anna's father was being a jerk (that's the nicest way I can put it). He has put Anna in dangerous situations in the past, and because of his actions, my friend has sole physical and legal custody of Anna. The father has visitation rights.

I know that if we were to take Anna out of the country (on a cruise or whatnot), then we would need to get permission from both parents, even though my friend has sole custody. Do the same rules apply if we are taking Anna out of state (we live in Illinois)? I have this question in to a lawyer friend of mine, but I was wondering if any of my DisBoard peeps have experience in this type of a situation...

Thanks in advance!

 

[Surfinpiratee]

I really don't think so...
I took friends to Wisconsin Dells (I don't live in Wisconsin) when I was younger all the time.
It's just a bigger deal when you're leaving the country

 

[DavidG1966]

Did you ask the father's permission? The guy is a jerk and a trouble maker? You want to possibly subject yourself and your friend and child to his anger by not involving him in the decision to take his child out of state? Why not just call him and ask him if its ok?

 

[dis75ney]

Did you ask the father's permission? The guy is a jerk and a trouble maker? You want to possibly subject yourself and your friend and child to his anger by not involving him in the decision to take his child out of state? Why not just call him and ask him if its ok?

Haven't asked him yet. This is all in the very preliminary stages. I'm just wondering what we might be getting ourselves into. My friend would be handling all of this stuff, but it would be like the father to give permission now and reverse his decision later, and we don't want to get Anna's hopes up if her dad can prevent the trip by withholding permission...

 

[DavidG1966]

I would get his direct exuberant permission and if he changes his mind at the last minute do not take her. Riding Dumbo is not worth the risk of what a jerk could do to you, your family, his ex-wife and his daughter.

 

[mediadiva]

Hello!

My best friend has a seven (almost eight) year old daughter, Anna. Anna has been begging to join us on an upcoming trip to WDW/Universal ever since she could speak, and my friend and I feel she is at the right age for her to join DH, DS, and myself on our next trip (we are looking at November/December or sometime next spring). My friend is all for us taking Anna, as she is not certain that she would ever be able to afford to take her herself. She will write a letter giving us permission to bring Anna with us and will get it notarized. She will also provide copies of medical insurance and write a second letter authorizing DH and I to obtain medical care for Anna if needed.

Here's the monkey wrench: My friend and Anna's father were never married, and broke up shortly after Anna was born because Anna's father was being a jerk (that's the nicest way I can put it). He has put Anna in dangerous situations in the past, and because of his actions, my friend has sole physical and legal custody of Anna. The father has visitation rights.

I know that if we were to take Anna out of the country (on a cruise or whatnot), then we would need to get permission from both parents, even though my friend has sole custody. Do the same rules apply if we are taking Anna out of state (we live in Illinois)? I have this question in to a lawyer friend of mine, but I was wondering if any of my DisBoard peeps have experience in this type of a situation...

Thanks in advance!

To get a passport for a child they have to have both parents permission, so if the child HAS a passport then the dad KNOWS she can go out of the country. I am NOT a lawyer and don't have an opinion either way I just got my kids passports recently and both parents have to be present (or something has to be notarized for the absent parent to give permission). For your own self, I think you should call a family lawyer and ask your state laws around that issue.

 

[chris31997]

Hello!

My best friend has a seven (almost eight) year old daughter, Anna. Anna has been begging to join us on an upcoming trip to WDW/Universal ever since she could speak, and my friend and I feel she is at the right age for her to join DH, DS, and myself on our next trip (we are looking at November/December or sometime next spring). My friend is all for us taking Anna, as she is not certain that she would ever be able to afford to take her herself. She will write a letter giving us permission to bring Anna with us and will get it notarized. She will also provide copies of medical insurance and write a second letter authorizing DH and I to obtain medical care for Anna if needed.

Here's the monkey wrench: My friend and Anna's father were never married, and broke up shortly after Anna was born because Anna's father was being a jerk (that's the nicest way I can put it). He has put Anna in dangerous situations in the past, and because of his actions, my friend has sole physical and legal custody of Anna. The father has visitation rights.

I know that if we were to take Anna out of the country (on a cruise or whatnot), then we would need to get permission from both parents, even though my friend has sole custody. Do the same rules apply if we are taking Anna out of state (we live in Illinois)? I have this question in to a lawyer friend of mine, but I was wondering if any of my DisBoard peeps have experience in this type of a situation...

Thanks in advance!

There are legal ramifications for your friend and you if you take this child and dad finds out about it.

He could say you tried to kidnap his kid, interferred with a visitation, make up any number of things. Along with potentially a safety thing.

Permission from him is critical. Be it she take him to court to get the permission or a written letter stating that you have permission.

Be prepared with dates, travel times, travel modes(airline flight numbers), hotel contact info and to be under a microscope for it.

My sister divorced her jerk and had to go through all of that and then some with him. It took a judge to sign off on it. For some trips, she has to agree to let him do the same thing(distance and time away). She does knowing that he does not have the moeny or ability to do a trip away.

It is a sweet thing you are doing by offering to take the friend. Good luck with it.

 

[torquelover]

On a lighter note, have you had this child overnight yet? Having had kids this age, I have seen a lot of sleep-overs ending early requiring the parent(s) returning at odd hours to pick up their child. This will be hard to do when you are hundreds (or thousands) of miles away.

 

[lucyem]

Before speaking to the father, I would encourage the mom to speak to her lawyer. She has full custody, every custody agreement is different and every state has different laws. Once she knows her rights then the father can be told or asked for written permission, depending on what is or is not needed.

 

[1stvisit0909]

I really don't think so...
I took friends to Wisconsin Dells (I don't live in Wisconsin) when I was younger all the time.
It's just a bigger deal when you're leaving the country

Right. I'm traveling out the country with our oldest daughter in August. I have to have a notarized form to take her out with out her dad - and we are married.

Im not sure about out of state though, but I bet your state DHS could answer.

 

[DavidG1966]

Before speaking to the father, I would encourage the mom to speak to her lawyer. She has full custody, every custody agreement is different and every state has different laws. Once she knows her rights then the father can be told or asked for written permission, depending on what is or is not needed.

It is immaterial what the lawyer says. As a third party, to take the child of a troubled, loose canon parent without permission is asking for trouble. Again, it is not worth putting yourself, your family, the other parent or the child at risk of this guys wrath so that the child can ride Dumbo. You are not dealing with a rational father. How will you feel if this father takes his anger out on poor Anna when she comes home? Is it worth even a 5% chance she takes a beating or other type of retribution for it? How will you feel if this parent cries kidnapping? If this father objects I would not take the child no matter what some lawyer said. If the father objects, what are you going to do? Threaten him by saying you already spoke to the lawyer and he said I can? The father needs to be completely on board in my opinion.

 

[Hope Counts]

Carrying a child across state lines ups the complications.
Personally I would not do it in this scenario.
Even if he doesn't have a leg to stand on he could make your trip miserable, all he has to do is call the police and without the mother there with her legal documentation of sole legal custody it could be a major problem sorting it out.
I would either invite friend and her daughter to join you as yes with sole custody it should have much less of an issue or not bring the child.
Even my parents waited to take us to WDW until they had sol legal custody of my cousin to make sure her unstable Mom didn't ruin our trip.