Take son out of school? What would you do?

[wildformickey]

I'm a single mom of a 12yr old and am planning a Disney trip from 12/02-12/12 for Christmas present to my son this year. He doesn't know about it and I would like to keep it a secret up until a day or so before we go but am unsure whether I will be able to pull off the surprise. My dilemma is that our school district has a zero tolerance regarding absences especially when it comes to vacations, but with my job, I am not allowed to take vacation a week before or a week after a holiday and I am only allowed a few days between May and Sept. which rules out being able to go in the summer. My son is very good academically, and is usually a straight A student so I'm not worried about him being able to make up the work, but I am worried about the response I will get from his teachers and whether they will cooperate with giving me his assignments ahead of time.
I feel this will be an excellent bonding time for us and it won't be too long before it won't be cool to be seen with MOM!
The other reason that really compels me to do this trip is that I work in the hospice field and have learned to not put off anything that you really want to do because you just don't know what tomorrow will bring!
Would love to hear from others that have had similar experiences and how you dealt with the teachers.

 

[swilphil]

I would try to surprise your son a little sooner than a few days before the trip. You want to give his teachers more notice than a few days. If he's a good student, it shouldn't be a problem. If his school has a semester that ends mid-December, he may need to turn in projects early or at least get some homework/studying done before the trip. It sounds like a nice trip. Have fun!

 

[Brian Noble]

This is just a personal opinion, and I suspect I'm in the minority, but I'm not in favor of pulling kids out of school for vacations. We work hard to take our vacations when the kids are out of school. Do we miss out on some things we could be doing? Yes, but I want my kids to know that you've got to take care of business first.

 

[AInWonderland]

I have the opposite opinion. My parents had both passed away by the time I was 11. I could not tell you any specific things that I learned in elementary school. However, I remember very vividly my vacations with my family, and I treasure those memories. I understand people should try to take vacations while there children are out of school, however, as the poster said her vacation time is hard to come by at these times. I hope you can work it out ahead of time with the school system and treasure every moment with your child on this special vacation.

 

[lorileer]

See if your school has a "Pre-Arranged Absence" provision. At my son's former school, you could fill out a form and get each of the teacher's to sign it. If you had this approved, missing was not a problem as long as the work was made up.

 

[RUSHBURY]

I live in Scotland and I'm taking my kids out of school for 2 days - this has to be pre-arranged with the schools and is marked on their school records as 'unauthorised' absence. I do this and I know of others who simply phone the school and say that their kids are sick. The truth is best. I'd ask about having the absence as being unauthorised. Life is too short.

 

[Leota]

At 12, it is getting to the stage in school where it is harder to make up work - esp if he is in foriegn language - I think it's important to know from him how he feels about missing that much school & how he feels about making it up.
But, that said, sounds like this is the only time you can do it, unless you can take time off for Spring Break.
I think the bonding time with our kids is very important as well as a good education, so if you can take him, go. Try to work out with the school, as stated above. Maybe he can do some work on the way down & back. My DS has even brought work with him to WDW & taken a little time each day to do it.

 

[goofy4tink]

My dd is also missing some school for vacation in WDW. But her school will not give you work to do before you go. It has to be done when you get back. I think it all depends on the child. I would talk to the teachers the week before you go and see if you can find out what stuff they will be going over in class when ds is away. Then he can read it and do the work when he returns. That's what we try to do. But, sad to say, this may be our last trip missing school. Doesn't look like my dd's grades will be high enough.

 

[TiggerInNY]

Seize the day is my philosophy. I will be taking my sons out of school also next week to go to WDW. I have a 3rd grader and a kindergartener. The kindergartener is not a problem. And, I feel that this is one of the last times I could take my oldest son out from school.

Look, in this day and age, I feel that family time is just as important as education. Like AINWONDERLAND posted, you can't get this time back. And being a sinlge parent, even more so. Like you said, it's not going to be long before your son thinks going away with MOM is not cool. It's just going to be you and him. A great time to have some nice talks and enjoy eachother. I say go for it!

Have a great time. Do you have anything lime green? Ya know that's the color of the DISboards. Wear something, take something that's lime green so we can recognize eachother. Who knows.

TTFN,
Tigger

 

[chyam]

I would take him out of school and enjoy the time you have with him, contact his teachers now and tell them that you would rather not let him know..........that this is a surprise but it gives them ample time to prepare to get his work together. My parents always took me out of school to vacation because they too could not take time off when it was convenient to the school system. Life is short and so is the time when children like to be with their parents, enjoy them while they are young! Also you have chosen a beautiful time of the year to come to Disney. As far as teaching them to take care of "business first" it's important but it's also important not to give up their childhood too. Kids these days grow up to fast and are "adults" way before their time, we grew up at a much slower pace and our generation turned out OK, it's the younger ones who are having the problem probably because they had to grow up to fast! Enjoy your son now.

 

[bethbuchall]

I would arrange a conference with his teachers in advance to work out the details. Sometimes a policy can be worked around considering individual circumstances.

Also, I know that it is fun to surprise our kids with things like this, but my 11 and 13 year olds enjoy the planning stages. Maybe it would be better to give him a little time to do some planning about what he most wants to see and do. This will also allow him to work ahead in school, if possible.

 

[nowellsl]

I don't think a surprise at his age is a good idea. My daughter hated to miss school in Middle and High school. Now that she's in college, forget about it! It can cause a lot of stress when he gets back and is faced with all that make-up work! I would talk to him about it and see how he feels!

 

[Boardwalk Tigger]

I have a child your son's age and this is the first year I can't pull him out. I have pulled out my children every year since they were in kindergarten. I definitely DO NOT regret it. Best thing I ever did. Last year I pulled out our son to go to Disney( our children now have totally different vacation schedules.......so it is very difficult) and another week to Bermuda (husband had a business trip). Luckily for me the private school he goes to is very cooperative. I made sure he had his work done and turned in when he returned and Always bought a present for the teacher and principal( he was in elementary school k-6th)

This year he is in a new school and it is just impossible to take him out...work load is to heavyand the school is not as understanding. So we will go to Disney after Christmas for a vacation. This is not my favorite time to go, I really like to travel in March BUT I have no choice. I would tell your son that you want to take a week off and figure a way to tell the school and get his homework assignments. A lot of public schools are very difficult. I would do this now so you won't have problems in December. Tell them this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Let us know what happens...Hope you can go....you both will never forget those happy memories.

 

[Gaiusrex]

Family > Work/School

 

[zurgswife]

Originally posted by Gaiusrex
Family > Work/School

My philosophy....

I would try talking to the principal and try to get an excused abscence..

What are the penalities if you do do it....????? That could be a deciding factor....I can take my kids out when ever I want...I've never had to deal with a public school system but I hear that they can be a nightmare....

 

[goofydad621]

My folks owned a restaurant when I was growing up and the only time they could go on a vacation was when they closed over the christmas holiday, They would take an extended vacation 3-4 weeks, and take all 4 of us kids out of school to go. Those are teh memories that I still cherish today(I am 44 now) with theri business I was lucky to see my dad 1 day a week otherwise. He has been dead 2 years now and my siblings and I still talk about those family trips(I am the youngest) Make the family memories when you can. I am pulling my youngest out of school for 7 days in Jan. to go to WDW while my 17 yr old decided to stay home for school and friends (plus not cool to only go with dad and step mom no older brother this time) Things do change when they grow older and they may not want to go with you as young adults.

My two cents

 

[randy55]

So sad to see that any parent would think school is so unimportant in your childs life that you think it is alright to take them out of school to go on a vacation.

What a lesson that is for your child, to skip school, work or family, when you want to go have some fun. It's a great Life lesson, just skip it, and do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

 

[mommytutu]

We are taking our ds out of school. I'm lucky our school doesn't have a strict policy regrading absences. Our principal is the one to decide if an absence is excused ot unexcused. I've written letter to him and his teacher and spoken with them both. His teacher should send his work home his week. I've also timed the vacation with some days he'll be out of school anyways so he won't miss as much.

 

[goofy4tink]

You know.....I hear what you are saying about it being a bad message when you take your kids out of school. But, there are a lot of other bad messages out there, even in the schools. There seem to be plenty of kids, some homeschooled and some not, that are doing just fine missing a little school. I don't particularly want to start a huge debate here, but with the whole 'no child left behind' system in place, my dd is not missing much. She actually spends one period a day, just sitting there reading. Or if she has band, well they take them out of whatever class band time happens to fall into...could be math, science or that 'just doing nothing' period. So, please don't let the schools tell me that my child can't miss any time because she will fall behind. I am the parent, they are the school. I do what I feel is best for my child at any given time. If I feel that my dd really needs to get away, then we get away. Sometimes mental health is overlooked. In our case I don't think that missing 3 days of school is going to kill her. Especially since she usually only has 3 sick days the whole year. So....each one of you make your own judgement calls. Whatever works best for your family and your child at a given time. Those on these boards do not have to live with the consequences of your/my choices!!!!

 

[zurgswife]

Originally posted by randy55
So sad to see that any parent would think school is so unimportant in your childs life that you think it is alright to take them out of school to go on a vacation.

What a lesson that is for your child, to skip school, work or family, when you want to go have some fun. It's a great Life lesson, just skip it, and do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

It teachs a more important lesson that family is important above all else....

Family time is what is missing in this day and age. If I chose that a vacation to wherever is more important then a few days of school; you can count on that I will pull my kids out of school.

Luckily I don't have to deal with a public school system to dictate what am allowed to do or not to do with my children. My kids attend a very small church school and if I want to take them out I just let the school know. Which I'm about to do in 58 days...YIPPEEE