sympathy card etiquette?

[Lorix2]

I just found out someone I know has passed, it was expected.

The services are scheduled for friday. Is it proper to wait until after the services to send a sympathy card or does it matter?

I want to be respectful of their spouse's feelings.

 

[TLinden16]

When my mom passed away in January, we got cards before the service, at the service, and after the service. I got a card about a month ago--three months after my mom passed away.

Karen

 

[goofy4tink]

Any time is fine. As soon as you hear, or after the service. Sometimes it's nice to wait a week or so. So many cards come in that they all seem to mush together in your brain. But every single card is appreciated, whenever it is received.

 

[arminnie]

It doesn't matter when you send it - just send it. But do try to write a note inside (you really don't have to buy a card). I know that when my mother died I loved reading the notes.

We got so many cards that when they just had a signature they just sort of got tossed in a pile. The printed cards all just started sounding just alike.

People especially like hearing something about the departed one. If you really didn't know the person who died then relate something you heard the survivor mention about them.

 

[NMAmy]

I agree with arminnie. When my dad died last year, I really loved the cards where people wrote something they remembered about him--little anecdotes that I may not have heard about. They meant so much.

 

[Lorix2]

Thank you all for you're advice. I always feel that sending these is a huge reminder that their loved one isn't there anymore.

I will buy a blank card and write from the heart.

Thanks again and I'm sorry you have had personal experience with this.

 

[4nana]

To each his own, but to be honest with you - after my Dad's death, we were in such dismay the first week, we did not read the cards with the best interest at heart. There was so much going on coping with grieving, arrangements, family, flowers, food, visitors, calls, etc.

Just MO, but the daily cards gives one encouragement and something to look forward too ~ after the funeral, visits, and food slow down.

~ Sandie