Surprise trip-- did I do the right thing?

[AimKo]

I just book our second trip to the World for Feb '07 as a surprise. We went last March for 3 nights with DD3 and DS1 and had an incredible time-- I really had to use every bit of persuasion to get dh to go along with it, but as our DD is sooo into the magic right now-- I held fast and we jumped in.

So with the wonderful experience I was quick to want a return trip-- DD still talks constantly about going back. In my opinion, the kids are only young once and when its all said and done its the memories you have at the end that make life worth living! I asked dh his thoughts on going back and got the eyeroll-- its too much, we have too many other expenses... which is all true, rational and reasonable-- BUT-- for how long will my DD be telling me she sees Mary Poppins on the roof tops as we drive to daycare and for how long will she believe the Holiday Inn is really Belle's castle as we pass by each day..... so

I've been saving on the sly. I have my own Disney Visa (6mo no interest) and I have booked a 3 day trip with AAA as a surprise.

The moment I hung up the phone though, I was hit with guilt. How peeved is dh going to be that I made a vacation decision on my own and committed us to the money to do it?

In my defense-- I travel a bit and get mileage checks-- these are typically my spending money and I know I can save it all without impacting the household (no lunches out, no extra tubes of lipstick etc), but the bigger issue is how will he react to the surprise?

Has anyone had a surprise trip gone bad?

 

[badblackpug]

Oh...This would go very, very badly in my home. To make a decision about a major expense without consulting your husband (and you know his feelings about it) could be a big mistake. Maybe you could present it to him now, while you still have time to cancel. Maybe he would change his mind based on how you plan to pay for the trip, but I don't think I would keep it a "surprise" for much longer.

 

[disneyfanfamily]

DH needs to know. Now! I could never do anything like that without asking. It is a family vacation. He should be apart of it.

But if my DH would like to plan a surprise trip for me and my kids, I will not be upset in the least Honey? Are you listening? Oh snap! He doesn't read the boards!

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

This would go either way in my house. I surprised DH with a trip for his birthday and he loved it...now if he surprised me...I'd kill him

 

[wrldpossibility]

Hmm. I don't think my DH would like this. It's not just the expense (which you said you had covered), but the fact that the "surprise" is more for you than for him. That makes it seem sneaky rather than in good fun. It would be different if he LOVED all things Disney, wanted to go badly, but didn't think the $$ was there (but you had secretly been saving). You know?

Also will the stress of taking time off work bother him? Maybe this is not the case with you, but my DH has to ask for/schedule time off way in advance, and it would be very stressful to him to be surprised by a trip. Do you have that covered?

How much does your DH like surprises in general? How much fun did he have on the trip last time?

I don't blame you for wanting to go, and I completely agree with your "they're only young once" theory, but I think you should just start asking to go again, and if you can convince him, you have your trip. If not, cancel before you are penalized for it.

 

[littleprissboutique]

I agree with what pps said. My hubby is always quick to roll his eyes at Disney, and anything else. But, I keep asking and asking and presenting my case. He finally gets excited about it. I play up all the things that my big KID can do. He falls hook, line, and sinker. But, it is he that makes the decision to go ( along with some strong persuasion ).. Just play up on the things he likes. Make this trip all about him This has worked many times for me.... It is all about the Jedi mind tricks....

Example. This Jan we are going back with the whole family. He did not want to go at first. He wanted a break from Disney. I left it alone for a few days. I started telling hubby- It would be so cool to take Kaylee on Star Tours this year. She is finally tall enough to ride. Oh and that new Star Wars decal you wanted is there. We should have bought that last year. Then he looked at me and said-- Jessica its not going to work. Drop it... Well a few days later I brought up this-- Hey honey what was the name of that resturant in Epcot you liked? Your sister wanted to know ( she really did ) He said-- Nine dragons, man that was some good food. Hey Jessica would we be doing the dining plan if we GO????

See, I know how to do the mind tricks... He made the desicion to go. NOT ME Now this is all he talks about. It is so funny...



So, maybe try playing up things your big KID likes in a not so way. Get him talking about it, and the Disney Magic will get him to wanting to go back!

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]

I guess the real issue here is did you not tell him because you wanted it to be a surprise, or did you not tell him because there was a chance he might say no? I am wondering if that is why you feel guilty.

If you can save and pay for it all without it impacting the household, then I don't see why you should feel guilty - your hubby may really enjoy the fact that he didn't have to plan or think about anything!

 

[MEredhead]

I just book our second trip to the World for Feb '07 as a surprise. We went last March for 3 nights with DD3 and DS1 and had an incredible time-- I really had to use every bit of persuasion to get dh to go along with it, but as our DD is sooo into the magic right now-- I held fast and we jumped in.


Has anyone had a surprise trip gone bad?

I dont have any experience with a surprise trip going good or bad but I completely understand where you are coming from. We also took our DDs 3 and 1 in March and felt the same way. My DH enjoyed it but not as much as I did. When free dining was offered for Sept - I jumped at the opportunity. I did however mention to my DH who was no real interested in going. So I went ahead and my made plans for me and oldest DD to go back (its going to be her birthday present). I manage the finances in our house and know we can afford a long weekend getaway. I feel no guilt at all leaving my DH and youngest DD behind for this trip. So I say go for it if you can afford it! I planned a surprise trip for me & my DH - however I just cant keep secrets so he already knows we are going away in Nov. If I could just keep a secret my DH would have no issues with a surprise trip. Good Luck!

 

[AimKo]

Ok-- so the truth of it is.... I want to go the kids want to go, dh wants to go.... BUT he thinks its too much money which would be spent elsewhere. We can afford it, but should be more responsible. I did book it as a "surprise" b/c I want my way-- which is childish and wrong.

So-- I called dh just now to say, what do you think about disney for Feb break-- he says what I expect-- I'd love too, but we have debts, taxes, things to improve on the house and we just went.

I couldn't bear to tell him I'd booked it since it was admittedly childish and wrong. I haven't cancelled yet, but spoke to the travel agent. I will get my $200 back from disney and air is nonrefundable. I can rebook for $200, but for travel by 8/07-- which means I'm pretty much out on the airfare since we likely won't travel until 2/08-- so that's $1k lost on a hard lesson--

Thanks for the input.

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]

I hope everything works out for you.

 

[mickeyfan2]

DH and I never make a big decision without consulting the other person. Tell him now and present it with how you plan to pay for it with your spending money and none of the household money. Maybe you could delay it for 6 months and go inthe fall.

 

[wrldpossibility]

I agree that you may still have several options...IF you come clean and tell DH what you did. He won't want to lose the airfare any more than you do. Maybe you could go in the summer or fall. Or you could use the airfare for another less expensive vacation that your DH approves. Hope it works out! I do understand how much you want to go...if your DH is like mine, he'll understand if you present a reasonable case for how you plan to pay for it all, or what you're willing to sacrifice for it (maybe the home repair can wait?).

 

[dawnball]

I've been saving on the sly. I have my own Disney Visa (6mo no interest) and I have booked a 3 day trip with AAA as a surprise.

The moment I hung up the phone though, I was hit with guilt. How peeved is dh going to be that I made a vacation decision on my own and committed us to the money to do it?

In my defense-- I travel a bit and get mileage checks-- these are typically my spending money and I know I can save it all without impacting the household (no lunches out, no extra tubes of lipstick etc), but the bigger issue is how will he react to the surprise?

Are you planning on paying for the entire trip out of your spending money? I know you've mentioned the trip to him and he thinks there are better things to spend the money on - but if you can pay for the entire trip out of your discretionary cash maybe he could be persuaded.

However - given that you've committed to $1000 in non-refundable plane tickets - I'd strongly suggest coming clean about it.

If I planned a suprise trip to Disney out of family funds - it would go over like a lead balloon in our house. If I planned a suprise Disney trip out of my personal discretionary cash - that would be fine. Your Family May Vary.

 

[PeachesDoesHair]

If it were me, I would be upset that you didn't tell me about it and booked it. That being said, I would be more upset if you cancelled it without telling me on top of everything else and $1000 was wasted. He might be inclined to go to get some use out of those plane tickets. I really would talk to him about it. Yes, he might be mad. But, it's better for your marriage to be truthful with eachother than to hide something you are ashamed of doing. I understand the excitement with Disney. You know, we have all gotten overzelous and made mistakes. I'm sure your husband has made some as well. Give him a chance. It will be way way worse if he finds out about it later down the road.

 

[missmun52]

first let me say that i dont think you should plan a trip like that without consulting your DH first, In all reality as long as you have debt then disney money can be used for other things but come on......everyone needs a vacation and most people have debt.I feel that way and you seem to feel that way but your DH does not and thats what is significant here.

second, since you already spent $1000 on non refundable air i would just confess and see what your DH says. He may be upset at first but he may get over it quickly and be happy and excited to go....hay you never know.
You may have messed up but think about how much worse it will be if DH ever finds out how much money you lost on air.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I feel spending $1000 on airline tickets for a 3 night vacation is too much. Could you reschedule when you could go for 6-7 nights to make the cost more resonable.