suggestions please

[ctpooh]

I don't know where to put it so I am putting this here... There should be a post for people in relationships who are ready for the next step. I have been in a relationship for three years and am ready to be engaged. Do you think that it is too soon? I don't want to push it he likes to take it day to day, and I love him, any suggestions?

 

[heatherlynn444]

I definatley dont think its too soon. how old r u? I got engaged after dating my DH for one year and 3 months and then we were married a year later. I know it is a "case by case" thing, but if I was of age and in a relationshi for 3 years, I would DEFINATELY be itching for a ring!

 

[ctpooh]

I will be 25 in July he is turning 27 in sept.

 

[jasonandlisa]

I don't think time matters as much as how you're both feeling. I was engaged once before. We met when I was 23, he was 25. After dating for 4 years, he felt "pressured" (not necessarily by me, but by our families) to propose. But then he stalled in setting a date. We eventually did and I had a good deal of the wedding planned but then I called it off after a couple years (about a year before our wedding.) So, in all we were together 6 years. One of my other good friends was with her boyfriend for 7 years before they got married. (They were divorced after only a couple years.)

Now, this time I was engaged just 5 months after meeting my boyfriend. And we'll have a 9.5 month engagement before our wedding in September. (I'll be 32, and it'll be a week before his 34th birthday.) I couldn't be more certain about wanting to marry him. No way it'll get called off this time!

I hope it works out for you. And hopefully after 3 years, you know your boyfriend well enough to know whether he's hesitating because he's unsure or whether he just needs a push. And if it's just that he needs a little push, there's nothing wrong with that. Every relationship is different.

 

[figmentfan814]

I definitely agree with everyone, it really depends on your relationship. My fiance and I were together seven years before he proposed to me in February. We waited so long because we met when we were freshmen in college and each of us wanted to get through graduate school before we moved on to marriage. By the time we get married it will be shortly after our 8th anniversary.

 

[ctpooh]

I know my feelings, I know that I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.

 

[heatherlynn444]

I know my feelings, I know that I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.

thats so good! and r u 100% sure he feels the same way? personally, if there is no school/financial issues etc. etc. i think maybe you should at least talk to him about it. sometimes guys are just SO weird and afraid of commitment and something so "permanent" they tend to freak a little!

 

[aprincess72]

No one can really answer that but the two of you. DF and I dated for five years and I was ready to get married about 4 1/2 years ago lol! The ole biological clock was banging in my head!
However, I wouldn't change a thing! Personally I am also really glad I didn't get married before 30. I think for me it would have been a huge mistake. I know so much more about myself now than I did 10 years ago (I'm almost 35). I can't say what the right thing is for you but that's what worked for me. The other thing I am really glad I never did was live with anyone... yea, I'm a radical in this day and time.

 

[ctpooh]

I appreciate all your posts and it is different for everyone. I like to hear what others have experienced though too.

 

[PrincessBride07]

Well, I DF and I dated for 4 years before we got engaged. I had been wanting it for 3 years at that point, but glad it happened the way it did. I don't think it is too early for it. I would talk to him, and see where he stands. He might be thinking it too, but just hasn't said anything yet.

 

[sandy5764]

My fiance and I just got engaged last weekend. We've been together 8 months. It may seem like a short time, but we're both a bit older (in our early/mid 40's). Like many women, I was ready to get engaged within a month of meeting him, but it took him longer. It's a man thin.

 

[karentan]

me and my DH got engaged 2 months and 9 days after we got together (living together from day 1, we were living on a holiday park at the time). we got married 17 months after we met.

 

[orangetiggs]

we had been together for 7 years when DF proposed! we are both 26 so we have been together since we were quite young and we plan on a DFTW next sept 2008

 

[TeenyWeenyJellyBeany]

I'm not engaged, but I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 9 years. I'm just not interested in marriage. He asked me once, and I said, "Why?" He wrote Marry Me on the bathroom mirror in the steam while I was in the shower. I didn't even notice. Later he asked me about it, and I told him I don't see the point of weddings and marriage. Two people can be totally happy and committed without marriage. It's just a strange concept to me.
My friend is in your boat. She has been dating her boyfriend for 2 years. They haven't even talked about marriage because she's afraid to mention it and scare him away, and he hasn't brought it up at all. She was looking for a husband when she found him on a dating website. She is itching for a ring so bad, and it is driving her crazy. I always tell her to just tell him how she feels. I tell her that if he is truly the one, then she should be able to tell him anything, and it's better to tell him now and find out how he feels than still be wondering where she stands in 5 years.

 

[buf68]

DH and I were dating for about a year when he popped the question. He actually had the ring since about 6 mos into it. We were talking about our future etc. around 2 months of dating believe it or not. We had a 10 month engagement and then were married (2 months shy of 2 years together). At the time I was 22 and he was 23. It was just right. I know people said that we were too young, but when you know, you just know. I would ask (as some have already) if he's made any mention of it, or made his feelings about marriage etc. known. You don't want to scare him off or anything, maybe just try to feel him out for how he feels about marriage in general and then you can get a feel for if he is really thinking about it or not.

 

[Maggimus]

DH and I had been dating 5-6 months before getting engaged-- but then waited 3-4 more years before getting married. It worked out well for us!

 

[JandJ]

Like a lot of other posters, we weren't together all that long before we got engaged - we were engaged 9 months after we met and married 9 months after that. He bought my e-ring 6 months after we met! For us, we just knew right away.

You can't put a timetable on it. You just have to know if it's right - for both of you. Not to sound mean or to put a damper on your feelings, I'm not meaning to do that at all but if you don't feel comfortable bringing up the engagement and marriage discussion with your BF, maybe that's a sign that you're not on the same page. Like another poster said, don't pressure him if he's not ready, it could end badly. You're both still very young, maybe he just needs more time. Good luck!!

 

[DisneyFairy19]

DF and I were together for 7 1/2 years before he proposed and I was always wanting to do ring shopping, talk about getting engaged.. He wouldnt budge only to know that he was secretly saving to buy me the ring!!! you never know what they are up too.. give it time... he will propose soon