Stubborn, No Fun Grandparents

[outstandinfarmer]

My grandparents don't agree with Disney. They say that we need to grow up and stop goofing around going to Disney all the time. My mother loves it, but it's hard for her because her parents give her such a guilt trip about Disney. They are fun grandparents, but they don't want to leave Wisconsin or do anything that involves spending money (But they have no problem dropping 10's of thousands of dollars on farm equipment so that they can put trails behind their house in Northern Wisconsin) We ask them to go to Disney with us, and when they tell us no, then they are completely shocked when we decide to go anyways. They tell us we should be saving our money instead. We'd rather enjoy ourselves while we are young than be rich and old and not able to enjoy anything.

I just don't get it. If I was a grandparent I would want to take my grandkids places and enjoy the time I have with them. I choke back the tears when I see all the grandparents on this site talking about how they take their grandkids places.

Now don't get me wrong, I love them to pieces and I do cherish our time together, but why do they have to be so cheap when it comes to spending time with their family and creating memories?

 

[taeja71]

Those sound like my parents (I still love mine very much too). My parents would not go on our DCL cruise in 2004. My dad esp.. He can only tolerate little kids in small spurts. I've got three whirling tornadoes all under the age of 6 so, its always crazy in my house. Any way, I can totally relate w/ you poster. yes, it makes me sad too to see posts by very involved Disney grandparents. I wish my parents would act like them too.

However, my parents will go to SeaWold w/ my kids. So, maybe Disney may not be a good compromise, but how about SeaWorld or one of the great water parks you have up there in WI.

 

[ktpool]

I also feel your pain My m-i-l is no fun...everything is all about work. Never takes a vacation, never spends any money. She drives 3 hours to my sister-in-law's house (near us), spends 1 hour painting the bathroom and LEAVES! Doesn't see her grandkids there, doesn't even tell us she is coming down much less stop by. It is crazy. Her parents are the same...will spend thousands of $$$ on farm equipment or land, but sends my 5 year old a cheap adult religious card for his birthday. I am like.....ooookkkkkaaaay.

Luckily, he has grandparents on my side that like to come out and see us (we see my parents, who live 2000 miles away more often than my inlaws who are in the same state ), are treating us to our first DCL cruise and send little fun stuff to the kids, calls every week.

hmmmm..wonder how my DH turned out semi-well adusted

 

[Mari annie]

People who never take vacations or experience life always seem to make me laugh!

They don't know what vacations are and happy in their own* worlds.

I have heard this for years- I was in the Travel Industry for years (BTW) I only got a couple discounts, then decided to have kids and have been paying retail (except when I can find my own bargains). We love FL and plan on moving there at least for the Winter in a year or two.
My kids have been going to FL WDW since they were infants, now almost 17 and 12. We explore the state and what it has to offer yet my inlaws are constantly saying "you can go anywhere WHY there again?" I say you should go, (and spend some money) we go and do (lots of it)!
We have been to most of the tours, my kids have done all the kids activities at one time or another and stayed at all the hotels at least once!
My daughter and son can write their own books for tourists, my daughter wants to, and is 12!

I believe people that really haven't been to WDW are truly missing out.
There's so much to do, it's not just Mickey Mouse!
FL itself is a very diversified and cultured state.

Take it from one who takes a family of 4 to WDW 2 times a year for 2 weeks each time!

Also ignorance is bliss to most people and it's human nature to be jealous.

Enjoy your trips and forget about what anyone has to say, make your happiness for yourself and your family.
This will be our 23rd trip to WDW!
There's no stopping us, and we just bought real estate there as well-
(funny, my husband and I already talked about visitors) no moochers allowed!
HE HE HE!!!!!

9 days for 2 weeks!!!!!!!

oh, by the way we do use the MUGS! over and over!!!!
I ll take my mug from the Sports to the Poly----anytime!!!
(I love putting that in)!!!
I am a brat today!! It's FRIDAY!!!!!

 

[DisneyMim]

I hear you. My parents never took us to Disney when I was young. I had to wait until I was an adult and could go on my own. Now that I am married (thank goodness to another Disney nut!!) and have children of my own we have gone since they were very little. My parents could never understand. My Mother keeps saying "Disney again??" She never wanted to come with us. Always tells me that vacations are a waste of money, etc. etc. I am soo happy I didn't listen to her. I will tell you that I get sad when I see grandparents at Disney with their grandkids having a great time. One time we were at a Food Court and there was this huge family next to us and the grandparents were passing out little presents that they bought for all the kids and grandkids. I started crying and my husband understood completely how I felt. But you know something? You are very lucky to have parents who understand the magic. Never mind about your grandparents. They don't "get it" and never will. I learned long ago to make my own magic for my kids and some day I hope to do it for my grandkids. Your grandparents are really missing out and the sad thing is that they don't realize it. It's their loss. Enjoy your vacations with your parents!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I understand the "sting".

My kids would say...."how come our grandparents/aunt&uncle don't do things with or or have us spend the night like everyone else?"

My response was always..."because they are 'busy' and they work."

That excuse worked well until one day my younger dd says, "you know they don't care about us."

At that point I knew I had to admit (to myself) while my parents love their grandkids they have no intention of doing things with them. Their own lives have always been "more important".

So we moved...Couldn't be happier.

 

[poohlover]

Another adult here whose parents don't understnad "the MAGIC"...we even gave them a Christmas gift of a trip (in April) one year! They went with us, but didn't get it , they enjoyed seeing the kids happy..but complained about the cost of everything, the crowds, the WALKING...

My DH couldn't come with us, but I was so upset after the trip we went again as a family (DH I * The kids) in Nov for Thnaksgiving. To this day my parents don't understand our love of "The MAGIC"...I wish they did!

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

My in-laws don't say anything about our WDW vacations (6 times in 5 years), but their disapproval is obvious. We have invited them before, and they just laugh at the idea -as if it were a ludicrous thought. . All I know is WDW means a LOT to me, DW, and our kids. We will continue to vacation there until such time that we are bored and decide to do something else.

 

[CanBeGrumpy]

Not Disney related, but here are a couple of examples of how my in-laws have NO CLUE how to be grandparents:

1. Didn't come to my son's very first piano recital because they "don't like musical things". My son was FIVE YEARS OLD---how could anyone resist seeing their tiny little grandson at a piano recital?????

2. Couldn't walk across the street to watch my kids play tennis (ILs live right across the street from tennis courts) because "it's my laundry day". This woman has never worked outside the home, has NO COMMITMENTS at all, and yet she can't maybe push her laundry aside for 1/2 hour to come watch the grandkids???? She has ALL DAY, EVERY DAY to do her laundry!!!!!

They are not bad people at all, they just have no clue at all how to LIVE!!! It bugs me so much because my parents live 1200 miles away and literally cry because they miss these things, and my ILs live 5 minutes away and can't be bothered to maybe actually enjoy life a little bit and please their grandkids!!

 

[mickeyboat]

We live in Vermont, my mom in NC and my Dad in AZ. We don't get to see them very often, but when we do it's all about the kids. It's just to bad we are so far away that they don't have the opportunity to really get to know the kids. But they moved away from their families when they became adults, and I guess it just isn't expected that grandparents become so involved in the lives of their children and grandchildren.

I was really looking forward to letting my kids get to know DH's parents, but his mother died when Hannah was 2 and Emily was 1. FIL is a huge part of the girls' lives, for which I am most grateful (even though he drives me insane sometimes).

Denae

 

[holycow]

This post brought so many emotions for me I feel your hurt but you are doing what is right in my opinion. (if that matters! lol) My parents worked their whole lives...rarely took vacations unless we went to visit family members. When my DH and I married we decided we wanted to make memories along the way. Taking little trips here and there...Well finally my mom and dad tried it. Taking weekend trips to Vegas or Palm Springs...it was a good thing too. My Dad retired and 8 months later he was dead.

My mom finally came to me and told me how thankful she was that they had the opportunity to spend some time with each other and have fun.


People and memories are so much more important than things (land, tractor equipment!) all I keep saying is what a fun grandmom I will be!!

Lisa

 

[Sandy V.]

I just don't get it. If I was a grandparent I would want to take my grandkids places and enjoy the time I have with them. I choke back the tears when I see all the grandparents on this site talking about how they take their grandkids places.

I don't understand it either. My kids are 18 and almost 16 and hopefully we are YEARS away from grandchildren, but DH and I have already told our teens that we are coming with them when they take our grandbabies to WDW. I would not miss that for anything.

Life doesn't come with guarantees. Just because you save for "tomorrow" doesn't mean that you'll be healthy enough to do all the things you've put off doing. We do a lot of travel now with our kids and take loads of pictures because no one knows what the future will bring. You never get the time back, and that's the legacy I want to leave with my kids and grandkids - that I spent lots of TIME with them.

 

[Missy1961]

I don't have kids, but I do have nieces & nephews--13 of them in fact! And they are so very lucky. My mom (before she passed away) & my dad would visit the out of town grandkids as much as possible. Dad has continued this since Mom died. He goes golfing with the big kids, takes the little ones to the park, buys them apples & sometimes candy & he's always there for them. A trip to Disney doesn't interest him, but he totally understands why my sister, brother & I go there all the time. And the kids' other grandparents are great too--my sister's MIL lives in FL so when my niece was little she went along with them to Sea World & Disney & the other grandparents support the trips as well. I guess that's why whenever any of the grandparents visit the kids, the kids go running to them--they know they're going to get hugs, kisses & love!

 

[froglady]

My parents were able to travel with us after they retired but before their health declined, and those were some of the happiest days of their lives.

DH's mother died before we met, and his father died when DD was 2, so she really doesn't remember him. Because of this, DH's family has a week-long yearly reunion at a resort so that everyone can stay in touch. As the children have grown, it's become more difficult to get everyone together, but every few years they all seem to make it, and if we don't see a niece/nephew one year, we'll see them another.

And thanks to the many suggestions I received from fellow Disers, I'm taking DM (84) to her granddaughter's wedding this summer, God willing.

 

[outstandinfarmer]

I showed my grandparents some shows on the travel channel and I said "Now tell me the truth, you can't tell me that you have no interest in different places?"
My grandmother replies "I enjoy watching a half hour program, but that's enough for me. I wouldn't want to actually visit there" When my grandma was young, she wanted to be a flight attendant or a missionary. Something horrible has changed and now they don't want to go anywhere. They are still young, about 60, and in perfect health with more energy than I could ever hope to have, but nope. No Disney, no traveling.

Their brothers and sisters are always calling them because they want to travel together. They tell them no. Recently one of their close friends suddenly passed away. My grandfather said that if only they had known that she was going to die, they would have spent more time with her. Does someone need to be dying to excite them to do something?