String's Atkin's Journal (Please Comment)

[sharoncity]

Hey Beth! Sorry weigh-in results weren't better for you. But as you said, at least it is not a gain. Remember, you've got a lot of other things going on right now, so maybe big losses are unrealistic right now. Maintaining or small losses could be okay for a little while. I know, i know, not what you want to hear, but you need to be honest with yourself. Keep walking the straight and narrow and you are bound to see good results!
The exercise thing is tough for me for May also. I think maybe for you, your number of days don't need to change. In other words, you are doing it often enough. I think with the switch to the Y that will be enough of a change from April. The new exercise routine will probably be enough of a change-up to produce results. Remember, muscle burns more fat than fat burns.
Hope you have a great day. Any time to relax before work tonight? I hope so!
Your doing great Beth! Keep it up!!
TTFN-
Sharon

 

[DoeWDW]

Beth, I'm sending a for you! You've been doing a great job of sticking to your plan! Are you measuring?? Are you sure you're not losing inches?? Half a pound is a good loss, especially considering the PCOS, the meds, etc. etc. I think you're right on track!

Honestly, I think your goal for the Mother's Day challenge was a bit ambitious and you shouldn't be upset about not meeting it. You should be proud of all your successes so far!!

I also agree with Sharon about your exercise. Changing to the Y and lifting weights / doing the treadmill should be enough of a change for May to give you results. I don't think you need to work in more exercise days - you'll be working out more intensely at the Y. Also, you and Katie will be outside more often in the warmer weather, moving around and having fun.

I hope your shifts go well this weekend!

 

[CheapMom]

Hi Beth-
I am always amazed when I read about your workouts- They are really tough. I bet you are very strong.
The scale is just being contrary- keep it up and eventually it will move.
You really may be losing inches- your clothes are fitting differently (as discovered at last weekend's shopping trip) so let that be your guide for now.
Have a great day!

 

[Strings]

Thank you everyone for the support and suggestions. I think you all are right. I was too ambitious with the challenge. I am losing, not gaining. That is my focus. The workouts at the Y are definately more intense than Curves. I am going to continue my 5.week strategy. We'll see where I'm at June 1st befor I change my goals there.

I need to put soething in my journal about my binge of a couple of weeks ago. I think it has helped me. I was getting so complacent with my eating. It is easy, so I haven't been thinking about it at all. I stayed within my carb limits, but I was compulsive about my eating and I was panicking. It really made me look at the Whys. Why was I eating? Why was I feeling like that? Why did I feel that food was going to fix it? Why do I really want to lose weight. Why did I want to risk my loss? Since that incident, I have been much more aware of what I am eating and why I'm eating it. I am also removing myself form the kitchen area when I am feeling out of control. Those are all positives that came from a very negative experience. I just need to keep doing those things.

Bye,
Beth

 

[LAinSEA]

Beth:

You are doing a fantastic job! You are learning a new fitness plan and going back to a stricter way of eating. I'm sorry the scale isn't cooperating - maybe it's "on strike" with mine.

There are many people out there that get the weight off, only to gain it all back plus more (OK - I fit in that category within the last 15 years.) You have accomplished losing a significant amount of pounds and are keeping it off through some major health problems while taking care of your family and working a very stressful job. Good Job!

Have a good night at work and stay positive. You are getting heathier everyday.

-Laurie

 

[Strings]

Final Recap for April.
Meds 30/30=100%
Water 30/30=100%
Exercise 23/30=76.6%
Meals 29/30=96.6%

I think I did well this month. I even exceeded my goal for staying OP. I was going to allow myself 3 cheat days.

Goals for May.
1.) Take vitamins and meds 31/31.
2.) 3.0 l water daily 31/31.
3.) Exercise at the Y M-F, take at least a 1 mile walk each weekend. 26/31.
4.) Stay op. I want to do induction until May 15th. I will reevaluate the number of carbs I will allow myself at that point. I will also allow myself 3 cheat days. 28/31.
5.) Tell my family I love and appreciate them daily. 31/31.

I need to buy a tape measure, so I can track measurements monthly.

After work, I'm going back to the Y and spend 30 minutes on the treadmill. I don't go into work until 11PM. Only an eight hr shift, so I hope to get to some journals today. I need to go, our supervisor is on the way.
Take care,
Beth

 

[septbride2002]

Hi Beth,
I'm sorry sweetie but I just can't do this induction thing. I fail at it every time and then I just end up beating myself up over it which isn't healthy either. But I am going to support you during your induction period! I think it is so hard to do and I admire anyone that goes through it. I know you will be a HUGE success!

~Amanda

 

[wilderness01]

You sound like you have a good plan. I thought I would have a really hard time during induction but found it easier than I had expected. You will find out what works best for you. Hope work is going well this weekend.

 

[Strings]

I feel more confused today then I have in a long time. I'm not sure why. It may be the discussions going on in some of the journals lately. I've really been thinking about why I'm at the place I'm at right now. I feel like I'm at a crossroad. I really feel like I am about to hit a milestone with the 50# clippie soon. Maybe not this week, or next, but soon. It scares me. It is just a number, but that one has extra meaning for some reason. I've been dealing with quite a few health problems over the last few months, and it is starting to seep in. Everything is getting harder to do. I'm exhausted all the time, my hormones are all over the place, and I'm stressed. This is my life, and I need to learn to deal with it. I am trying my best to do so in a healthy way, and so far I'm succeeding. I am afraid of what will happen if I slip. I keep making these really impressive goals, and I am meeting them, but what happens if i don't. I'm not sure that I have the strength to get back on if I fall off program. I am feeling that every single day is a make or break it day. It is adding to my stress level, but what is my alternative? I am obsessing over this diet. I plan everything I put in my mouth, I punch it into fitday, I count every carb. I don't know why in the last month it is taking on a different feel and mening. I've been doing this for nearly 6 months. Why is it now so different, and so much of a struggle. I know that losing weight is a struggle, but it is just different now. I just can't explain it.

Last night at work was horrible. I was stressed, frustrated, and I got hurt. Not fun. I ended up doing CPR on a patient as we were being wheeled through the halls. Just like on ER. The guys were pushing so fast that I got thron off when we went atound a corner. My hip and shoulder are really bruised. I'm just bruised though, nothing broken. The patient made it to cath lab, and is now doing much better. She's even alert. I was supposed to only work 8 hrs, but it turned into 9.5. I was driving home, and was going to treat myself. I decided on a lc mint chocolate bar. I was in the rite aid, and had it in my hand. I put it back, and got a trashy paperback. I don't want to associate treats with food anymore. Why does my comfort always need to be food? I won this round.

On a lighter note, Katie had her first soccer practice tonight. In the rain and 35 degree temps. She loved every second, and did really well. It ranges from 4-5 yr olds. Katie will be 4 on the 17th. She is the youngest one there. Some of these kids are a head taller than her and have a good 10 pounds on her. At one point a boy pushed her down to get to the ball. Kate got back up, ran to the ball, and shoved her way into the melee. She isn't in the least bit intimidated. She was smiling the entire time. I'm really proud of her.

I'm on track with all my goals, the kitchen is closed.

Have a good one,
Beth

 

[lulu201]

Gentle s for you this morning, dear Beth. I hope that you're not too sore.

Another for you, Beth, as you experience all these thoughts and feelings re: your diet and your healthy way of life. Beth, you've come so far and you've made such progress. It's only normal to struggle sometimes and to wonder about falling, but you need to know you'll never go back to how things were before--you're too strong, you've learned too much about yourself, and. . .your WISH buddies wouldn't let you! We all have moments of doubt and questioning, but I think that's a good thing; how else can we learn and move forward?

Beth, you and that body of yours are faced with a gazillion challenges right now. The hormonal fluctuations alone would seem to me to be a cause for cravings! Your road isn't easy, but like you said, you're succeeding! You picked up a paperback for goodness sakes!! That's strength, Beth! But I know that you have fears, too. . .like what happens if you slip, right? Well, you just keep on trying. You start all over. That's all any of us can do--keep on trying.

I'm praying today that you find some peace in this journey, Beth. That you find that the energy doesn't all have to be yours--that God will lift you and support you when the food choices are tough and that you can just float. . .

Some more , just in case ,
Erin

 

[Strings]

Thanks Erin, you help me everyday.

I should know that I'm going to get confused and maudlin when I try to have serious thoughts on VERY little sleep. I got some sleep, and things are much clearer. You really do need sleep to be rationale. I'm not trying to gloss over what I was feeling last night. I need to acknowledge my fears and frustrations. Otherwise, I bottle it up until I explode. It is just today I'm feeling more in control than yesterday. It may be that the is out.

This weekend I did 4 miles on the treaddie Saturday, and took a walk in the rain Sunday. 1.5 miles. Meals OP. Plenty of water.
Recap:
1.) Meds 3/3
2.) Water 2/3.
3.) Exercise 2/3
4.) Food 2/3.
5.) Acknowledge family 3/3.

Plan for the day...
I will go the the Y. I'm doin weights today. I'll follow that by 30 minutes on the treaddie.
Breakfast was a cheese omelet and 1 strip bacon. coffee of course.
Lunch will be a salad with chicken strips.
Dinner- I have steak kabobs marinating. Salad to go with it.

I need to get Katie her own soccer ball today or tomorrow. We'll see. The house is in it's usual, Daddy and Katie destroyed the house this weekend state. I need to straighten it and vaccum.

I hope it is a Great Monday for all,
Beth

 

[sharoncity]

I'll add my two cents to your journal as well Beth. I have made myself a solemn vow that this time, once I get to goal, I will not let myself put on more than 10 lbs. I will try to reign in at 5 lbs, but I will NOT go over more than 10 lbs. It is just too hard to lose and I feel terrible about my appearance. I don't want to feel this way anymore! So even if I fall, I will not just lie there, letting everyone trample me. I'll pick myself up, dust off, and get back on track. I have gone this route of weight loss TOO many times. As I get older and hormones begin acting up, it is just too hard!! This is an addiction that I CAN overcome! I guess my point is, don't be so afraid of falling. Rather, be afraid of not trying. If you don't try, you have no hope/chance of succeeding.
Okay, back to YOU! Your May goals are very impressive. I have no doubts that you will do very well. Today's menu looks awesome (and I don't even do low carb! )
Your gonna love soccer with the 4 and 5 yr olds!!! You spend the whole game yelling "No! The other way! Turn around!" I'm laughing just thinking about it. It is really too cute!
I hope you have a wonderful Monday Beth! Great job with rewarding yourself with the book. We all need to think like that more often!
TTFN-
Sharon

 

[CheapMom]

She is the youngest one there. Some of these kids are a head taller than her and have a good 10 pounds on her. At one point a boy pushed her down to get to the ball. Kate got back up, ran to the ball, and shoved her way into the melee. She isn't in the least bit intimidated.

Let's all learn a lesson from Katie here- Have a setback? Try even harder and don't give up!
Soccer is so fun- it is my son Joey's favorite sport and we have so much fun cheering him on.
I'm sorry about the confusion and general negative things you have been feeling. We all have our ups and downs and I hope your "ups" come back soon. Look at your April goals- a huge success. Be proud of yourself, please- you deserve it.

 

[septbride2002]

Hi sweetie! I hope you are not sore from the accident at the hospital! My LORD! Everyone seems to be going through something lately - you can feel the frustration on the board. I am so so so so proud of you for beating the food munchie monster and getting yourself a book instead. That is a big battle won! Good for you!

Your dinner tonight sounds fabulous - can I come over?
~Amanda

 

[wilderness01]

Beth,

You sound better. I am glad. Going without sleep really does a number on the spirits doesn't it? I think that should be listed as a hazard to our profession! I'm sorry you have been having a hard time. You seem like such a strong person. You will overcome this as well. You need to give yourself a huge hug and pat on the back for accomplishing everything you do. Remember to take some time for yourself and above everything rest. I hope your injury feels better. Don't overdue at the gym if you are still hurting. Take care.

 

[Strings]

I thought I'd do a recap then I am off to bed.
1.) Meds 3/3
2.) Water =3.5l 3/3
3.) Exercise=2 weight circuits and 3 miles (46min) 3/3
4.) Food= my plan. I did add some celery and cheese for pm snack 3/3
5.) Family 3/3

I'm really enjoying the weight training, and I'm thinking of adding a few machines. I'm going to give it a few more weeks as is, then add to the routine.

I definately had a better day today, and I'm feeling more in control. Thanks to all for checking on me. You all keep me going.

Have a good one,
Beth

 

[Strings]

Guess what? I'm busy again today. Katie has dance lessons. This will be the first time her teacher sees her new haircut. We'll see how that goes. We then need to go grocery shopping, and get Katie her soccer ball. I also need to clean bathrooms. I'm sure that I will be playing soccer too. Katie has swim lessons tonight. We're all going together. Won will stay with Kate, and I'll hit the treaddie. I'll be able to do 3 miles.
Plan for the day...
Breakfast= eggs with cheese and bacon.
Lunch= salad
Dinner= salad and pizza casserole.

I hope everyone has a good one. I'll try to get to more journals soon. I'm sorry that I haven't been getting to everyone lately. I'm sending to all.
Beth

 

[CheapMom]

Sounds like you have a plan all hammered out for today- so half the battle is already won! Enjoy your busy day. Good luck at dance. I hope you don't get in trouble with the dance instructor for Katie's pixie! (As you know my son did a naughty thing at school and the funny thing is I was the one who felt embarrassed) Have a great day!

 

[PAdisMOM]

I really enjoy reading your journal. As I mentioned before, I have a DD Katie also. She's 6. It was funny reading your posts because my Katie dances, plays soccer and has swim lessons also. I'm just glad to know that somebody else has the hectic schedule that we do. I also have a DD3. Her name's Kennedy and she dances and swims, but has to wait until she's 4 for soccer.

Keep up the good work!

 

[DoeWDW]

Beth, I'm glad you're feeling better. Seems like we all hit those periods of fear. It's OK to be afraid and to be uncomfortable AND to still keep doing your best. You're doing a fabulous job!

Have fun at the Y!!