Spouse is anti-Disney

[MouseFan71]

Harvest02, we also honeymooned in WDW, it was DH idea. I think it's so funny how he turned me on to WDW on now gripes about going. Others on this board have suggested doing what DH wants to do for a vacation, and I totally agree and would love to, the problem is - he is content staying home. I'm a stay at home mom, I'm home all the friggin time, I want to GO GO GO somewhere, anywhere. I've suggested he stay home and let the kids and I go, he sighs and says if everyone's going he will go. We always have fun once we're there - it's just the long battle to get from point A to point B that's frustrating. I'm glad you can sympathize, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

 

[JeremyGNJ]

I admit that I answered my initial post very emotionally, and probably not in a good tone. However as I read the further posts, they actually seem to get worse.

I keep seeing the same thing "my husband doesnt like Disney world, so I leave him at home".

I've been planning this Disney trip for months and my wife thinks I've gone a little over board with planning/learning. But if tomorrow she said she didnt want to do Disney, I'd cancel it and plan a new destination! Because it's a *family* vacation. It's not about what I want it's about what *we* want....we can always find something to compromise on.

I'm not pointing at anyone in particular (and never was), but some of you might want to consider the fact that your "darling" husbands, just plain dont know how to speak up about what they really want....or maybe they just think it's pointless to try.

 

[disneygal2007]

This is a friendly, family community, and we all have opinions. Yes, someone is asking for advice and feedback and you are entiltled to have your opinion. But resorting to name-calling and being purposefully rude is certainly not necessary.

I agree with ya

 

[disneygal2007]

I turned my husband into a Disney freak as he calls me lol. He is in Kuwait right now planning our next trip. I think it's funny how a little magic can change a person

 

[Frankiesmom]

Jeremy- good job with the explanation! Makes more sense and feels less "hostile" now.
And the tag fairy already loves you? Can't a dis'er get some tag-fairy love????

 

[JeremyGNJ]

What's a tag fairy?

 

[tkoran]

My DH is also less than thrilled with the idea of going to WDW. None of us has ever been there. He's always said WDW was one of the last places he would ever want to go. The problem with that is that no matter when or where I suggest we go he says no. He always has an excuse. What it boils down to is that he wants to use all of his vacation time for hunting and only hunting. He would prefer it if I do the same with mine too (I work full-time too) even though I don't hunt. He wants me sitting at home waiting for him to bring home the prize.

Well after 13 years of waiting for him to agree to a vacation I decided to take the bull by the horns and just start planning. It's his choice as to whether he wants to go with us or not. By the time we go, our kids will be 6 and 12. I don't want to wait much longer as the older one is getting to the point where only the big roller coasters, etc. are what she's interested in, but our youngest is too small for. Without too much prodding, he agreed and even put in for vacation for it. I really didn't say much at all to him about it. I just made a point of choosing a time of year that it wouldn't be too hot, too crowded, didn't interfere with hunting and in which we could use his annual bonus to pay for it and still have money left over. I'm also making ressies at WL instead of a value so that we will have some relaxation time.

I know he still really isn't thrilled about going, but he's agreeing to it because he knows the rest of us really want this. I also told him that this would most likely be the only time I would ask him to do this and the next vacation would be to the destination of his choice and I have no problem sticking with that deal. I'm happy to go just about anywhere as long as we're together and we all will have something to do. I don't think it fair that he will only agree to something such as hunting where he has all the fun while the rest of us sit around waiting for him to come home.

I know once we get there and he sees the looks on the kids faces that he will have a wonderful time. Maybe not enough to go back, but enough that it will be enjoyable.

 

[1rockinmamato2]

OP, DH and I did our vacations before children (we had a lot of time, not by choice). His vacations were mostly about what he wanted - a trip to see the Yankees play at Yankee Stadium, a trip to see his old Army buddy. But, now our vacations are centered around what the children would enjoy and luckily, my favorite is WDW. Convenient for me, huh?

DH enjoys himself while he's there, but he doesn't want to talk with me endlessly about the planning and what we're going to do while we're there, etc. He doesn't fight me on deciding to go. But, I'm also making it a point this time to fit in some things that only he wants to do. We're compromisig that way.

I cannot figure out why some people still try to have "relaxing vacations on the beach" after they have children. When we're on vacation, we want to GO GO GO! We've always been that way. We can lie around, watch TV and read a book at home for free.

At least you're getting to go, but I wish you didn't have to fight so hard for it. I'm hoping he softens up a bit for you on this as soon as he accepts that he's probably in the minority when it comes to wanting to vacation in the mountains.

I've been planning this Disney trip for months and my wife thinks I've gone a little over board with planning/learning. But if tomorrow she said she didnt want to do Disney, I'd cancel it and plan a new destination! Because it's a *family* vacation. It's not about what I want it's about what *we* want....we can always find something to compromise on.

And how "selfish" of her would it be to do such a thing after all the planning you've already done for so many months?

 

[JeremyGNJ]

He has never been there and doesnt want to try it. Fooey on him! (especially since he just wants to go hunting) This however is much different than if you had already made him go 2 or 3 times and he is proven to not like it....then you should cut him a break.

However I think HE WILL LOVE IT! It's hard not to love Disney World especially if you've never been there. I think some guys (especially the "man's man" type) have a misconception of what WDW. When he gets there and sees that there's thrill rides, actual funny things with adult-ish humor, plus the StarWars, etc....he will at least enjoy the trip even if it isnt his favored destination in the future.

I know personally I love WDW, but that doesnt mean I want to go every year instead off going to Jamaica or Maui

 

[tkoran]

He has never been there and doesnt want to try it. Fooey on him! (especially since he just wants to go hunting) This however is much different than if you had already made him go 2 or 3 times and he is proven to not like it....then you should cut him a break.

However I think HE WILL LOVE IT! It's hard not to love Disney World especially if you've never been there. I think some guys (especially the "man's man" type) have a misconception of what WDW. When he gets there and sees that there's thrill rides, actual funny things with adult-ish humor, plus the StarWars, etc....he will at least enjoy the trip even if it isnt his favored destination in the future.

I know personally I love WDW, but that doesnt mean I want to go every year instead off going to Jamaica or Maui

Thank you for the chuckle (re: fooey on him!) Those were my feelings too, but it's nice to hear that from another man.

 

[livie1205]

my dh loves to go to wdw but HATES the planning so he just says let me know how much to pay and when we go....he was never a family vacation kind of guy before we got married (bad ex wife lol) but when I planned our first trip when we were dating we have been going ever since...we both hate flying and we can drive with the kids so he loves it...not to mention his family is HOUR AWAY FROM THERE SO WE USE THAT TIME TO VISIT WITH THEM A DAY OR SO TOO...oops didnt mean to use caps sorry guys

 

[MouseFan71]

livie - that's so great that your hubby's a fan. I spoke to DH about the whole vacation situation and how I was feeling, we've had the same conversation before but for some reason we actually got a lot resolved this time. I explained that I would absolutely be open to different destinations but he never offers anything up as a suggestion - and no family vacations at all is just not an option for me. We agreed that going to Jamaica or a relaxing beach vacation would not make any sense for our family right now (not to mention no one wants to see us in our bathing suits ), we also discussed the Grand Canyon and Cape Cod but the kids would be bored stiff (3,4 and 6). He agrees that Disney really is the best option and the best value at this time but he was happy to learn that I'm open to different places in the future. He said he's just not into planning the way I am and that really bums me out because I think it's a huge part of the fun, but I respect his feelings and a girls got to pick her battles, right? So... a solo planning I will go!!!! I just hope he's not upset when we land at MCO and board a DCL bus instead of Magical Express.

 

[Harvest02]

Harvest02, we also honeymooned in WDW, it was DH idea. I think it's so funny how he turned me on to WDW on now gripes about going. Others on this board have suggested doing what DH wants to do for a vacation, and I totally agree and would love to, the problem is - he is content staying home. I'm a stay at home mom, I'm home all the friggin time, I want to GO GO GO somewhere, anywhere. I've suggested he stay home and let the kids and I go, he sighs and says if everyone's going he will go. We always have fun once we're there - it's just the long battle to get from point A to point B that's frustrating. I'm glad you can sympathize, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

That is so funny that you have a similar DH as mine! I get so frustrated with him as well. I was a stay at home mom for 10 years, so I know your need for wanting to go somewhere, ANYWHERE! That is how I felt as well after being home with my kids. That is maybe why I like traveling so much. He is a couch potato once he gets home from work, and is content on staying at home. He does not like all the hassle of traveling, but he says the same thing, "If you are all going, I guess I will go too". I am also glad that I am not the only wife out there who deals with the griping!!!

 

[Frankiesmom]

Amy- glad it worked it for you! Sometimes we just have to use the words " I feel" and that makes a huge difference!
Jeremy- you never noticed the little saying under your Dis icon? I assume with your low # of posts- correct me if I'm wrong- but did you put that there or did the tag fairy do that? I have been waiting and waiting for the tag fairy to notice me!!! Yes, pick me!!!
Anywho, glad it all worked out in the end!

 

[MouseFan71]

Amy- glad it worked it for you! Sometimes we just have to use the words " I feel" and that makes a huge difference!
Jeremy- you never noticed the little saying under your Dis icon? I assume with your low # of posts- correct me if I'm wrong- but did you put that there or did the tag fairy do that? I have been waiting and waiting for the tag fairy to notice me!!! Yes, pick me!!!
Anywho, glad it all worked out in the end!

Thanks Angel, I really enjoy my time at WDW and my children love it as well. I was hoping for a long-term WDW commitment like DVC - but I guess I need to be open to other vaca's as well. Hopefully after a few trips to other destinations my DH will agree that there really is something special about Disney.

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

DH and I went to Disney for the first time in January for our honeymoon - we both had the most magical time!! As soon as we got back i started planning a second trip and DH wasn't nearly as excited as I was.... It upset me at first but now I just know that it's just not as much of his thing as it is mine. It's not that he hates it, or that he doesn't like it or enjoy himself, he just doesn't love it as much as I do. We are going back in March 2009 - we picked this time so that both of us could enjoy something we each loved - I'll be able to enjoy the Flower and Garden Festival and DH will be able to catch a few of the Atlanta Braves Expo games. We are also going to SeaWorld which DH really wanted to do. He is happy about going as long as I make sure he is getting his way too and that makes me happy as well

 

[moredisneyplease]

My DH is anti-disney too so I make many trips without him...simple as that. Also, I invested in DVC on my own and thats that

 

[amyj1024]

This thread made me laugh--my DH is so anti-disney. But in all fairness--SHOCK--he has never been-ok I think once to Disneyland for a day, October will be his, DD, and DS first trip EVER. So he just doesn't get it... growing up that was our family trip. I am hoping that him seeing the look on DD's face will make him appreciate the World a little more. I have been doing all the planning--and am so excited, luckily we are traveling with some friends, so I have someone to be giddy with about it. I am sure future trips will be taken with Grandma, and maybe one more with Dad when DS is old enough to appreciate it more.

 

[PADISFAM]

What's a tag fairy?

tag fairies, are magical beings who visit the boards, and grace people with tags under their usernames. You never know when they are going to strike, or where....you just have to believe

 

[mccathy]

Interesting...it seems like a lot of people have DH who aren't as into Disney as they are. My hubby and I took our honeymoon there and are finally going there this year with our two kids. I've been wanting to go for years and haven't been able to convince him, but after years of not going anywhere I just started planning and said, "if you're not going to divorce me over this, let's just do it." And then we talked and I discovered he's just afraid that I'm going to make ALL of our family vacations to Disney World. So our compromise is that we'll go somewhere Big every other year - and take turns planning. So I'm assuming the next time we're in Disney will be in FOUR years - and we'll probably be renting an RV and driving across the country for his choice.
It works for us - and has made planning this trip a little more enjoyable, since he knows we won't just keep going back to the same place again and again. (I really think that's what a lot of DH's are worried about.)
Oh yeah - that and we're going with friends - so he'll have a friend along and who isn't into Disney that much, and I'll have a friend along who is just as excited as I am. (We've already been figuring out all the places we can send them on their own for a beer or two.)