Split Checks?

[mhsjax]

As long as it's not Olive Garden

lol

 

[eliza61]

depends on who I'm having dinner with. My two best friends? we split evenly. These are my best friends for the last 40 years of my life and I'm going to quibble over them ordering a steak because I didn't have an appetite?

Luckily op I have pretty considerate friends and family. If I went out to dinner with my cousin and brought along a person who was only my friend, I would not EXPECT anyone to chip in for their meal, I would speak up and say "I've got the majority of this one" and then if I was invited to dinner with some friends and knew I couldn't eat due to health restrictions I would probably pass on the meal.

I totally admit, that I try not to go out with folks who are going to whip out a calculator and make sure they dont pay a penny more than they have too.

 

[Skip2MyLou]

I think we should all go and let the fine folks in NYC and other NE areas pay for our meal. Since we won't be getting separate checks, maybe we can just chip in a little and they won't mind, since they aren't cheap, like we are.

As long as it's not Olive Garden

I am cracking up at this thread....thanks to all who have participated! It made bed rest a little easier today

I will have to remember this in my future travels to any major metropolitan areas

 

[Imzadi]

I've never seen separate checks, but you have, so I dunno where the heck you eat, but it frightens me because... might be Olive Garden. I'm going to Gramercy Tavern with Janepod.

<sigh!> And all this time I thought you were a courageous, adventurous sort. I'm so disappointed.

I think we should all go and let the fine folks in NYC and other NE areas pay for our meal. Since we won't be getting separate checks, maybe we can just chip in a little and they won't mind, since they aren't cheap, like we are.

Excuse me. I said I get separate checks. I'm also one of those who throws down cash on the table, as cheap as both of those seem. I'm from the dinosaur era and remember a time before credit cards.

As long as it's not Olive Garden

I don't eat at Olive Garden. I don't eat at Red Lobster either. My credit card actually got frozen once when someone stole my credit card and ate at Red Lobster!


. . . well. . . it was actually also the $500 of sports shoes they also charged on my card along with purchases at Duane Reade, an overpriced drugstore here. My bank automatically knew I didn't shop at any of those places.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I don't eat at Olive Garden. I don't eat at Red Lobster either. My credit card actually got frozen once when someone stole my credit card and ate at Red Lobster!


. . . well. . . it was actually also the $500 of sports shoes they also charged on my card along with purchases at Duane Reade, an overpriced drugstore here. My bank automatically knew I didn't shop at any of those places.

My brand new card that should have had less than $10 worth of gas on it and NO other charges came with a bill of over $300. Someone was calling the sex hotlines on it. I called the customer service # on the card to have the charges reversed & the guy on the other end told me the # the calls originated from. Half the calls came from the gas station, the other half from the home of the kid who was working at the gas station the day I bought the gas. Whoops. Cops were waiting for him when he showed up for his shift the next day

 

[Imzadi]

My brand new card that should have had less than $10 worth of gas on it and NO other charges came with a bill of over $300. Someone was calling the sex hotlines on it. I called the customer service # on the card to have the charges reversed & the guy on the other end told me the # the calls originated from. Half the calls came from the gas station, the other half from the home of the kid who was working at the gas station the day I bought the gas. Whoops. Cops were waiting for him when he showed up for his shift the next day

Wow! Good for you and great bank that they could track it all down to the actual person. technology is great. There used to be a time where they'd probably be sneering at you over the phone, "Yeah. . . right. . . YOU didn't make the calls, but YOU can't prove that. Umm, okaaay."

 

[LBIJim]

For us, we all come prepared with cash. We know we are going out and going to be paying for dinner and plan accordingly. Even my friends who never carry cash, make a stop at the ATM so they can pay for their meal.

Like Cornflake and others have stated, locally, I have never been asked who is paying for what, there's just one check. When we are done, one of us will asks for the check and we take care of it at the table among ourselves. Sometimes we might need some change which we'll ask for when we pay but otherwise, it's a pretty simple transaction.

That's how it's done here as well with my circle of friends. Everyone stops at the ATM beforehand in order to have enough cash. Nobody really knows ahead of time who will "take care of" the check. Most of the time one person puts the entire check on his/her credit card and receives cash from the other parties.

I don't mind chipping in for what I owe on a combined check, but I *hate* to be the one collecting the money because it always seems to come up short (this problem seems to increase with the group size, especially if it's a group from work -- I'm not sure if someone just "makes a mistake" with their math, or if someone is trying to get away with something, but it seems like the money counter *always* has to ask for more even when I know I've put in for what I ordered, plus tax/tip, plus rounded up... I think that's why so many restaurants *offer* to do the separate checks. I'm sure the server gets stiffed on the tips when that happens.)

Believe me, 99% of the time it's not a mistake; they're trying to get away with something.

Automatic gratuities for large parties is the result of servers being stiffed too many times by large groups who "forget".

One person pays and they even up later. I know it sounds strange but that's all I've ever seen in NJ. And truthfully, most people bring cash when it's a group. I know it sounds strange....but I swear it's all I've ever seen.

That's the norm in NJ. Separate checks are pretty much unheard-of.

Surprised it's such a common practice [requiring a minimum purchase on credit cards] if it's not only a violation of the merchant agreement, but also KNOWN to be a violation among the customers who frequent these establishments.

Yeah, the customer knows it's a violation, the merchant knows it's a violation, but is it really worth the effort to report the merchant to the CC company? You just buy somewhere else if the practice bothers you. Like a PP already said, it's just the way it is.



Many places here at the beach don't accept credit cards: ice cream stands, miniature golf, arcades, bagel/sandwich shops, etc. But almost all will have an ATM on the premises (with a high service fee no doubt). So you might as well have cash anyway.

Most NJ beaches charge a fee. The other day this one family group of about 10 people asked to pay with a CC. The beach badge lady, who looked like a tough old broad, snarled back at them with her best Jersey attitude: "YA GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME!!"

Jim

 

[mickeysgal]

It's not that I think it should be split evenly if my share was 2 to 3 times more, if it was that big of a gap, I'd probably just pick up the entire check as the easier thing to do. It's just that I probably wouldn't be going out to dinner with friends who just ordered water, no app, looking for a low cost entree type experience. When I go out to dinner with friends I think of it more of a get together celebration where we all share wine, great food and have fun. Sitting over a glass of water and eating the early bird chicken special is not a fun dining experience, and I would be very uncomfortable ordering 2 to 3 times worth of dinner.
It's not that I think a person is cheap for wanting a low cost dining experience, it's the experience itself that I would think as cheap.
Has it happened before? Sure, but usually we just don't go out together for dinner again, unless it's someone like my grandmother or a few good friends that i want to see and in that case I would just pay the whole thing so they wouldn't have to worry about the cost when ordering.

Great food can come in the form a low cost entree. Great fun with friends doesn't mean I have to drink to keep up with others at the table. Does it really matter what someone orders to pass the fun dining experience test? I put more value in my friends and the time that they chose to share with me than what they choose to eat when we go out. Who cares if one person orders steak and a glass of wine and the other just soup/salad with water? I'm just thrilled to be out with my friends.

 

[mhsjax]

<sigh!> And all this time I thought you were a courageous, adventurous sort. I'm so disappointed.




Excuse me. I said I get separate checks. I'm also one of those who throws down cash on the table, as cheap as both of those seem. I'm from the dinosaur era and remember a time before credit cards.




I don't eat at Olive Garden. I don't eat at Red Lobster either. My credit card actually got frozen once when someone stole my credit card and ate at Red Lobster!


. . . well. . . it was actually also the $500 of sports shoes they also charged on my card along with purchases at Duane Reade, an overpriced drugstore here. My bank automatically knew I didn't shop at any of those places.

Well when I come eat with you , we will get separate checks. I am fairly old, and I don't remember a time before credit cards, but my dad refused to ever use one. I don't carry cash, but do use a debit card ALL the time.

 

[Acklander]

Great food can come in the form a low cost entree. Great fun with friends doesn't mean I have to drink to keep up with others at the table. Does it really matter what someone orders to pass the fun dining experience test? I put more value in my friends and the time that they chose to share with me than what they choose to eat when we go out. Who cares if one person orders steak and a glass of wine and the other just soup/salad with water? I'm just thrilled to be out with my friends.

Not saying they wouldn't be friends or we wouldn't be doing fun things with them, just that they wouldn't be first choice to go out to dinner friends since our dining styles are so different. Nothing wrong with that. I know friends that love to go to the mall and shop together. I hate shopping and like to run in, grab what I need, and get out. Guess what? They don't invite me shopping. It's not that they don't love me, or don't consider me a friend - just how we shop is a completely different experience. So instead we do something else together for fun.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Not saying they wouldn't be friends or we wouldn't be doing fun things with them, just that they wouldn't be first choice to go out to dinner friends since our dining styles are so different.

Our best "couple" friends have a much, much different dining style than my wife & I. We (for the most part) enjoy the same places, even though the way this other gal orders makes you think you're stuck in an endless loop of When Harry Met Sally. But, the bottom line is these have been great friends of us going back to our youth (I knew him & my wife knew her loooooong before any of us were married). If I had to choose only people who order like me, it would make going out even more difficult than it is already

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Wow! Good for you and great bank that they could track it all down to the actual person. technology is great. There used to be a time where they'd probably be sneering at you over the phone, "Yeah. . . right. . . YOU didn't make the calls, but YOU can't prove that. Umm, okaaay."

It was actually the guy from the dial-a-sex # who provided me with both the phone numbers where the calls originated. He also said he couldn't "officially" say that's what kind of call it definitely was. Could have been psychic hotline, find a friend, or whatever. Same company handled all those things, but he laughed & didn't deny my suspicion. They also volunteered immediately to reverse the charges as soon as I was able to prove I wasn't connected to those #s (I later cancelled the card).

Manager of the gas station fingered the kid - also said his family was LOADED & couldn't believe he'd be so stupid to steal the numbers. Manager wasn't buying my story when I told him what happened & that some of the calls came from the station. When I gave him the other number, he said, "Oh, well that kind of proves it. That's the home # of the kid who was working when you bought your gas". I brought the statement with me to the station to show the manager & we called the police together.

 

[Acklander]

Our best "couple" friends have a much, much different dining style than my wife & I. We (for the most part) enjoy the same places, even though the way this other gal orders makes you think you're stuck in an endless loop of When Harry Met Sally. But, the bottom line is these have been great friends of us going back to our youth (I knew him & my wife knew her loooooong before any of us were married). If I had to choose only people who order like me, it would make going out even more difficult than it is already

To each their own. When we go out we like to get bottles of wine, share appetizers to try different things etc. and if doing it with other people on a regular basis will pick other couples who enjoy that as well. That doesn't mean that I've never had dinner out with someone with a different dining style, you never know how people are until you're there. But if we went out with a couple who just wanted to drink water, and the couple split the pasta dish amongst themselves, pull out the calculator to figure out their portion, then we are done and ready to go home - yeah, they probably wouldn't be my first choice to invite next time we wanted to go out - they are looking for a completely different experience than us. Doesn't mean we won't see them, or do fun things with them. It just wouldn't be dining out.

 

[mickeysgal]

To each their own. When we go out we like to get bottles of wine, share appetizers to try different things etc. and if doing it with other people on a regular basis will pick other couples who enjoy that as well. That doesn't mean that I've never had dinner out with someone with a different dining style, you never know how people are until you're there. But if we went out with a couple who just wanted to drink water, and the couple split the pasta dish amongst themselves, pull out the calculator to figure out their portion, then we are done and ready to go home - yeah, they probably wouldn't be my first choice to invite next time we wanted to go out - they are looking for a completely different experience than us. Doesn't mean we won't see them, or do fun things with them. It just wouldn't be dining out.

Is it that they split an entree or that they've pulled out a calculator? Or both? For the life of me I can't see how splitting an entree would cause such a negative impact that it would make someone not want to dine with them again. If you were dining with me, I could care less whether you ate a salad and water while I had pasta and soup. I can't see why someone paying for what they owed means that it is not worthy of them going out as a dining companion again. That's very sad to me as there are wonderful folks out there who just happen to naturally eat little, are on a diet, or are on a budget.

Honestly when I read this, and I'm not meaning you directly, the first thing I thought of is that this is exactly what others don't want to have happen when they're of the split-the-check frame of mind. It's really hard to push the cost of wine and more expensive entrees on the back of another couple when it's blatently obvious that other couple ate lightly by splitting an entree and drinking water.

 

[Bob NC]

I will have to remember this in my future travels to any major metropolitan areas

Don't worry. Just because some folks don't ask for separate checks and don't want to believe anyone else does, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

Edited to ask: Do I win the contraction award with this post? lol

 

[design_mom]

I have noticed that most of the people who complain that their dining companions "pull out a calculator" are ones who prefer to fully enjoy the dining experience with alcohol, appetizers, etc. And those who wish to pay for only what they consume are the ones who look "cheap."

However, I wonder if the situation were reversed -- and the complainers were dining with people who ordered even more than they did -- if they would still complain if the big-orderer "pulled out a calculator" to ensure that his dining companions didn't end up paying for more than they consumed.

It still seems like the folks who complain about separate checks and/or folks "figuring out what they owe to the penny" are the ones who are hoping someone else will subsidize what they ordered. In my experience:
-- even when someone says "I had more, so I'll pitch in a little extra," they rarely cover the full amount of their overage. The reality is more like -- their entree was $8 more than yours, and they had a glass of wine while you did not, but they pitch in an extra $5 and think you should be thrilled.
-- nobody really figures what they owe "down to the penny". I can't imagine someone scrounging in their purse for the 63¢ they owe. Everyone is going to round everything...

 

[gina2000]

I have noticed that most of the people who complain that their dining companions "pull out a calculator" are ones who prefer to fully enjoy the dining experience with alcohol, appetizers, etc. And those who wish to pay for only what they consume are the ones who look "cheap."

However, I wonder if the situation were reversed -- and the complainers were dining with people who ordered even more than they did -- if they would still complain if the big-orderer "pulled out a calculator" to ensure that his dining companions didn't end up paying for more than they consumed.

It still seems like the folks who complain about separate checks and/or folks "figuring out what they owe to the penny" are the ones who are hoping someone else will subsidize what they ordered. In my experience:
-- even when someone says "I had more, so I'll pitch in a little extra," they rarely cover the full amount of their overage. The reality is more like -- their entree was $8 more than yours, and they had a glass of wine while you did not, but they pitch in an extra $5 and think you should be thrilled.
-- nobody really figures what they owe "down to the penny". I can't imagine someone scrounging in their purse for the 63¢ they owe. Everyone is going to round everything...

I wonder if you realize how insulting these assumptions are. I've never welshed on a bill...if I have more than others I throw in much more than the difference in cost plus tax plus tip and it's taken off the top....and then we divide the bill evenly. I dine with friends, family, and co-workers. We all like each other and take care of each other. We don't scrounge around trying to take advantage of each other. Who in their right minds would dine with people (and I truly hesitate to call them friends) trying to take advantage of their dining companions?

 

[Bob NC]

I'm originally from Massachusetts but now live in NC. A number of years ago we had a guy in our office from Connecticut.

When we went out after work for a couple drinks he was always the one who wanted to split the check evenly. If there were 4 of us and the bill came to $47, he'd be the one to drop a ten dollar bill on the table and leave first. That's not 1/4 of the check and there's no tip either. Of course he never knew we were talking abut him afterwards, so he never knew there was a problem.

Sooner or later we stopped inviting him.

We had to stop him from coming to lunch with us too. We would go to a number of sandwich shops or delis where you order and pay then go sit down and wait for your sandwich. It would never fail, when he'd be told his total was $9.35 he'd always turn to the person next to him and ask, "Do you have 35 cents handy?" If it was $8.07 the question would be, "Do you have 7 cents on you?" LOL, he stopped going to lunch with us too.

If you asked him he would say, "I've never seen separate checks, we never use them, we just throw in our share."

 

[mickeysgal]

I wonder if you realize how insulting these assumptions are. I've never welshed on a bill...if I have more than others I throw in much more than the difference in cost plus tax plus tip and it's taken off the top....and then we divide the bill evenly. I dine with friends, family, and co-workers. We all like each other and take care of each other. We don't scrounge around trying to take advantage of each other. Who in their right minds would dine with people (and I truly hesitate to call them friends) trying to take advantage of their dining companions?

Just because it hasn't happened to you (and I'm glad it hasn't), doesn't mean it happens to others. We have family that does it with regularity. Yes, you don't want to dine with them, but sometimes you have no choice in a family gathering. They skim and just fall short of covering their bill - forget covering the tip. It's a disease I call short-arms-and-deep-pockets. This is a perfect example of getting separate checks to eliminate the problem. Talking to them about it and asking them for more money to cover the bill may work in that single instance. Next time, they're back to their old tricks.

 

[SaraJayne]

I have noticed that most of the people who complain that their dining companions "pull out a calculator" are ones who prefer to fully enjoy the dining experience with alcohol, appetizers, etc. And those who wish to pay for only what they consume are the ones who look "cheap."

However, I wonder if the situation were reversed -- and the complainers were dining with people who ordered even more than they did -- if they would still complain if the big-orderer "pulled out a calculator" to ensure that his dining companions didn't end up paying for more than they consumed.

It still seems like the folks who complain about separate checks and/or folks "figuring out what they owe to the penny" are the ones who are hoping someone else will subsidize what they ordered. In my experience:
-- even when someone says "I had more, so I'll pitch in a little extra," they rarely cover the full amount of their overage. The reality is more like -- their entree was $8 more than yours, and they had a glass of wine while you did not, but they pitch in an extra $5 and think you should be thrilled.
-- nobody really figures what they owe "down to the penny". I can't imagine someone scrounging in their purse for the 63¢ they owe. Everyone is going to round everything...

Exactly. And that is why having separate checks is so much simpler. Everyone pays what they owe.