Spin the Bottle at 10?

[allison443]

Then he said he wanted to invite girls too, so he could play spin the bottle. His dad said he could invite girls, but they would have to go home at bedtime.

So your dh said it's okay to invite the girls so they can play spin the bottle? I'm sorry but I don't agree. I would be very upset if my 9 year old dd (4th grade, right?) went to a party where the parents allowed and supervised a spin the bottle game (since you're talking about being in the basement the whole time) Would the kids even play spin the bottle if an adult was in the room? Or would you leave for that part?
Your son may be interested in kissing-not all 4th graders are yet (boys or girls). Some are still in the "ew" stage like your kid was until recently, and you would be putting those kids in an uncomfortable/inappropriate position, imo.
There's nothing wrong with a co-ed party, but spin the bottle I think is wrong.

 

[allison443]

Oh sorry, wanted to add one more thing. I think you would be putting a lot of girls in an uncomfortable position when a lot of them might not be expecting or wanting that. Then you would be putting them in a position to succumb to peer pressure too. This is not a good idea. They are only 10!

I totally agree with this! This is just common sense!

 

[luvsJack]

ITA. Nor would I let my sons, including the coed sleep over part.

The girls aren't sleeping over, they are leaving at bedtime.

 

[luvsJack]

Dss did have a sleepover last year, and it was very well supervised. We made homemade pizza, did cake and presents. I ran string all over the basement which the boys had to follow to find their goody bags. Then dh took them into the woods with flashlights to tell stories and watched a movie with them until they fell asleep. While I hung out upstairs with one boy who was crying to go home whose parents come get him!

We could have included girls in any of that. My discomfort comes from the fact that spun the bottle is reason we are inviting girls. That is, there was no mention of girls before the while spin the bottle thing. Like I said, maybe I'm the old fogey and it's all cute and harmless.

Playing spin the bottle isn't as as some seem to think, but its not exactly the thing I would encourage or allow them to do either. Maybe we played different, but the spinner spins and gets to kiss whoever it lands on; right? I would not allow the kids to play the game at 10 or any other age in my house, but not sure I would exactly be shocked if I was told they had played (maybe at an older age than 10).

Like someone else said, it could cause a peer pressure thing that I wouldn't want to encourage. Can you not talk to your dh about this at all? I mean, maybe going at it different than bringing up "sexuality"? I would probably laugh at dh if he brought that up when the boys were 10 too; and now with dd being 10. Maybe talk to your step-son about it making the other kids uncomfortable or making them not want to come to the party? Just go at it a different way and maybe you will get a better response.

 

[LanaJayne]

We've always attended co-ed parties, but they have been well supervised and full of activities for all of the kids. For these girls to be invited for the sole purpose to play spin the bottle is just wrong.

As a parent of a 10 year old boy or girl, I would not be happy to find out that the birthday hosts introduced this to my children at a 10 year old's party. Tell you husband to teach respect for girls to his son. They aren't toys to be played with at his party. This is not cute, this is a time to set his understanding of how to treat the opposite sex.

I would let parents know they are welcome to stay and then provide snacks, etc. for the adults, plus ask a few to be stationed in the basement at all times. Make sure the kids are well supervised and happy birthday to your step-son!

 

[LanaJayne]

Any party for ten year olds needs to be supervised regardless of the gender mix.

It's absolutely irresponsible to invite young girls and then even consider playing a sexually oriented game. It's irresponsible to even consider playing a sexually oriented game with ten year olds period.

I completely agree with this. These kids are 10!!! Plus, this is ok with dad???

 

[TinklednPants]

I completely agree with this. These kids are 10!!! Plus, this is ok with dad???

Maybe Dad would like to play too?

 

[SeeDisney]

It's FINE to have a co-ed party, but keep it supervised at all times. Have games prepared, relay races, obstacle courses, kids love all that stuff.

 

[SpecialK]

Any party for ten year olds needs to be supervised regardless of the gender mix.

It's absolutely irresponsible to invite young girls and then even consider playing a sexually oriented game. It's irresponsible to even consider playing a sexually oriented game with ten year olds period.

Totally agree with this.

You said you step-son was talking about inviting 6 boys and mentioned playing spin-the-bottle. He didn't say anything about inviting girls until you mentioned it. That makes me wonder, does he even realize what the game is? If this your step-son's idea or is your husband planting the idea?

I have 11 and 13 year old boys, and neither one of them would have been comfortable with joking around about girls and kissing games at 10. Maybe your husband is rushing things?

 

[minkydog]

Hmmm, you might want to run the "spin the bottle" idea past some of the parents...Let us know how that works out.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Have you verified that the boy actually knows what Spin the Bottle is? I remember as a kid hearing about this elusive "spin the bottle' game and it was supposed to be so cool, but I had no idea it involved KISSING until I was much older. At any rate you could always change the rules. Give everyone 5 tokens of some sort (pennies, buttons etc) and when they spin they have to give ther person it lands on one of their tokens. The person with the most at the end of the game (set a time limit or number of turns limit) gets a prize of a candy bar or small stuffed animal or something. Son gets to play Spin the Bottle and it is an innocent and fun game!


And I wouldn't leave ANY group of 10 year olds unsupervised, no matter what the gender mix! That is just asking for trouble! I would be sure to have an adult always within sight at all times. Get a good book and curl up in a chair and just be there.

 

[KSchwagg86]

Definitely too young for a co-ed party in the basement.

Agreed! And I can't believe he actually told your husband he wanted to play spin the bottle!

 

[hichewlova]

I think supervision is key. Whenever I had parties my mom and dad would periodically walk thru - they made their presence known.

 

[RachelEllen]

Agreed! And I can't believe he actually told your husband he wanted to play spin the bottle!

I think DH actually told him how he had the first girl/boy party in his school at that age and they played spin the bottle. So then DSS wanted to.

I discussed it with DH again, who now agrees that we shouldn't allow it. He is going to explain to DSS that although he has no problem, it might make some other parents uncomfortable. Personally, I'm not thrilled with this reasoning, but I think DH realized that he messed up and is trying to backtrack gracefully.

 

[Rence]

Ask him what how he thinks Spin The Bottle is played. Perhaps he doesn't know.

We used to play a variation on Spin the Bottle as kid birthday parties (and I even played it this way at College Parties). You have a bowl full of tasks, stunts whatever - on slips of paper. You spin the bottle, if the bottle points to you, you have to pull a slip of paper and do it.

The stunts just have to be age appropriate - and you've got them playing Spin the Bottle and feeling all adult.

I don't remember much of what we did as kids - at College Parties we were big on a prank phone call version of the game - you pulled a slip - it had a phone number and the subject of your call - you called the number without knowing who you were calling and the call had to last a minute. We used strictly commercial numbers so we weren't bothering folks at home (still probably not a great idea - but we were young and stuipd). A few examples "Find out how much to book passage to Hawaii" - you were calling Amtrack. "Tell them the music is too loud, ask them to turn it down" - you were calling a local radio station - etc.

 

[Shelton123]

We don't have a daughter, but if we did there's no way we would allow her to go to this party. You mentioned that the girls would have to go home at bedtime, which tells me this would be a party at night, in someone's basement. If there are girls that he wants to invite then it seems a party during the daytime would be more appropriate. Also, it's your house as much as it is your DH's, so this should be a call you both make together. JMO.

\QUOTE]

Thanks for all the replies.

It's a tough dynamic at our house, since dad already said he could do this.

Personally, it's not the coed part that bothers me. It's everything you mention (night-time, basement, spin the bottle)

This started out as a boys only sleepover plan. DH and DSS have been joking about spin the bottle for a few months now. I think DH is still thinking this is "cute." When I brought out the "sexuality" word, he about flipped and said it has nothing to do with that. DSS brought up playing spin the bottle at his birthday party, and, stupid me, said, that's going to be kind of strange with 6 boys. Hence, the plan to invite girls.

Personally, I would have said coed party would be ok with an outside the house activity (swimming, bowling, something like that)

I hate to put other parents in this position, but I'm really hoping that the girls parents will say no. Maybe that will help wake DH up, because I can't seem to do it. (I know it's my house, but you can't really "put your foot down" when its not your child. All that does is turn it into cool dad vs ****y step mom.)

Don't....type it.... Shelton.... Get a hold..... of yourself.... must resist..........

I think it's OK. I had my first kiss at 10, and it's not sexuality. Plus, this experience might make him not want to date for a while. The more you keep it away from him, the more he'll want it!

 

[saratogadreamin09]

My 9 year old step-son's birthday is coming up and he and his dad are planning his birthday at our house (His parents have been divorced for many years, and he's always had two birthday parties)

It's seems like overnight he went from "eww girls" to being very intrigued with them. He's been talking to his dad a lot about crushes and kissing.

Anyhow, he's wanting a sleepover at our house. Then he said he wanted to invite girls too, so he could play spin the bottle. His dad said he could invite girls, but they would have to go home at bedtime. (Already, not what I would have said, but not my call.)

Anyhow, I thought it would blow over, but DSS made the invite list last night, and its 6 boys (our limit for sleepover) and 6 girls. I was surpised that DH was still allowing this to go on, and I told him that although this is his call, I feel really, really uncomfortable with DSS having a coed party in our basement at that age.

I'm totally new at kids this age. Am I being an old fogey? Or are they still young enough that its harmless. Would you allow this? Would you allow it if a parent was in the basement at all times that the girls were there. (That's what I'm thinking of insisting on if they go through with inviting the girls.)

I was 10 when I played my first game of spin the bottle


I dont like the idea of having sleepovers for boys and girls that young, honestly Im 14 and my parents probably wouldn't let me have boys sleep over