Sometimes ya win and sometimes ya lose

[MELSMICE]

I am not a competitive person, however, I believe it is important to keep score, regardless of a child's age. Why not?

Learning to be both a gracious loser & winner is a great lesson.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

I think it depends on the age and their skill level. My DD was in kindergarten soccer a couple years ago, and all I can say is thank the Lord that they didn't keep score. There was one team that completely dominated (hand picked by the Park and Rec leader) while my DD's rarely had a full team due to schedule conflicts, crying, or dandelion picking while being goalie! Most of them were just beginners, so it was nice for her to get a taste of a real game without the stigma of losing attatched to it. Luckily, she found out she hated it so we are done with soccer! Woot. But, by the time they are grade school age and past the beginner level, they should be keeping score. Like others say, that is part of learning the game. It's part of life and children should be prepared to be humble winners and gracious losers.

 

[Bluestars]

I don't see a big deal either way. Sometimes it's fun to play a sport, even though you might not be good at it, just for the fun of playing.

My son has played both recreational and competitive sports. In his younger years, he chose not to put in the time and effort to be on a competitive team. He just wanted to have fun. He now competes competitively and goes to extra lessons once a week, along with the additional practices.

If a person plays recreationally, even if they don't keep score, they get to play no matter what. I see nothing wrong with that. Not everything is about winning and losing. It just isn't. But if a person tries out for a team, then that person has to earn the spot and playing time. There is nothing wrong with that either. Competitive teams want to win.

I look at the comparison as having a paying job or volunteering. It's not always about the win or the money. Sometimes you want to do something because you enjoy it.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I think it depends on the age and their skill level. My DD was in kindergarten soccer a couple years ago, and all I can say is thank the Lord that they didn't keep score. There was one team that completely dominated (hand picked by the Park and Rec leader) while my DD's rarely had a full team due to schedule conflicts, crying, or dandelion picking while being goalie! Most of them were just beginners, so it was nice for her to get a taste of a real game without the stigma of losing attatched to it. Luckily, she found out she hated it so we are done with soccer! Woot. But, by the time they are grade school age and past the beginner level, they should be keeping score. Like others say, that is part of learning the game. It's part of life and children should be prepared to be humble winners and gracious losers.

I have to address this. If your child cannot pay attention, not cry because they don't want to be there, need a nap etc., or your schedule doesn't allow for you to be at the practices and the games then that particular activity is not for you. (a general you- not you inparticular) We had a soccer team that rarely showed when they were about 4. It was annoying and very rude. Our child made the committment and we as parents followed through. Did we have to adjust some of the other things in our schedules? Of course. It was not fair to our family at all. Rude rude rude. On the other hand, one of our kids wanted to hold hands and skip around during soccer. So, since they were not playing we took them out. We explained that we understand that they like skipping with whoever but that the coach and the other players were working very hard to teach you the game and practice playing and it was not polite to ignore them like that. They made the choice that they would rather not play. No biggie. Not every sport is for every kid. My biggest problem is with parents who WANT their kid to play and the kid doesn't really want to. Those parents in my opinion are idiots.

 

[luvsJack]

I still don't get this. If somebody's not covering their man, and their man gets by them and scores... the lesson is "remember when you were daydreaming and weren't watching the play, and your guy got past you and scored? That's why you need to be on your toes and watching THAT player at all times!"

How is that lesson imparted in a better way simply by not keeping score?

On the plus side, how is "that was a tremendous pass you made to Billy, you had been watching and knew he was in a better position than you were to make the goal/basket/play and he did, EXCELLENT teamwork! Everybody else, THAT'S the way to do it!" made any easier by not keeping score?



Again, I'm not sure how not keeping score enters into it. If one team is blowing out the other team, retains pretty much sole control of the ball, etc., how do you separate "coach, they keep taking the ball away from us" from the fact that they're clobbering you? Just by not keeping score?

Or maybe you just mean there are no league standings/All Star games? I can see keeping score but not bothering about those elements.

The examples you are using are more for older players, not first time players. Coaches of kids playing for the first time usually have to start with the very basics. I remember the first time ds played t-ball; the coach spent half of one practice running the bases saying "1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base, home." so that the kids would learn which ones were which bases.

What I am saying about the coaches is that not keeping score takes away the need for seeing that bigger number on the score board. Most people that love sports do so because they are competitive by nature. Its hard for a competitive person to not get into the game and want to see that score. Coaches argue calls, get excited and yell to directions on to the field (and I have seen some forget that they haven't taught the kid how to do that particular thing he is yelling), get frustrated when the kids aren't playing the way he thinks they can; all that is removed when score is not kept. And it means that all the kids play. No one is left on the bench because he/she isn't as good a player and not able to help the team win.

All stars should only be for older players. In our league (in baseball) 10 is the first age that can make a true all star team.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

I have to address this. If your child cannot pay attention, not cry because they don't want to be there, need a nap etc., or your schedule doesn't allow for you to be at the practices and the games then that particular activity is not for you. (a general you- not you inparticular) We had a soccer team that rarely showed when they were about 4. It was annoying and very rude. Our child made the committment and we as parents followed through. Did we have to adjust some of the other things in our schedules? Of course. It was not fair to our family at all. Rude rude rude. On the other hand, one of our kids wanted to hold hands and skip around during soccer. So, since they were not playing we took them out. We explained that we understand that they like skipping with whoever but that the coach and the other players were working very hard to teach you the game and practice playing and it was not polite to ignore them like that. They made the choice that they would rather not play. No biggie. Not every sport is for every kid. My biggest problem is with parents who WANT their kid to play and the kid doesn't really want to. Those parents in my opinion are idiots.

Oh, I agree with you there. It drove me nuts when the kids didn't show up at all or until the game was almost finished. It wasn't fair to the team. And it made me crazy when these two little girls would not play! They would stand at the sides the entire time, or cry...yet, they came to every game and their mom let them do it. My daughter got alot of playing time as half of her team wouldn't play anyway! But, the poor little thing would trip over her own feet. I was happy she was such a trooper, though. She played her heart out even though she really didn't like it. But, I still stand by that it was a nice introduction into the fundamentals of soccer without being high pressure for little ones. But, I'm agree: if your going to sign your kids up for something, make sure they get there! Part of any sport is learning to commit yourself to it.

 

[Carpenters]

we were told that most people who coached the kids didn't treat them like normal kids, something we did. We coached, we yelled (not at the kids, the refs), we had fun. We taught them the fundamentals of the game and didn't baby them.

As a parent of two former soccer refs, I have to tell you that being proud of yelling at the refs is just disgusting to me. They know the game inside and out because they've both played for years, but being screamed at for every call by some parents and coaches was too much hassle for a small paycheck. When they make a call, it's because they believe it's the right call, they're not trying to help one team or the other because they don't care about the outcome if they're not playing. They are calling what they see. Keep that in mind when you're having fun yelling at the ref. Sorry for getting off topic, but this is obviously a hot button for me. I hate that they felt the need to quit that job because of some jerks. They love soccer, but would prefer to work at KMart. Sad.

 

[Uuaww]

As a parent of two former soccer refs, I have to tell you that being proud of yelling at the refs is just disgusting to me. They know the game inside and out because they've both played for years, but being screamed at for every call by some parents and coaches was too much hassle for a small paycheck. When they make a call, it's because they believe it's the right call, they're not trying to help one team or the other because they don't care about the outcome if they're not playing. They are calling what they see. Keep that in mind when you're having fun yelling at the ref. Sorry for getting off topic, but this is obviously a hot button for me. I hate that they felt the need to quit that job because of some jerks. They love soccer, but would prefer to work at KMart. Sad.

I am a ref as well, football and soccer, high school level. I know what it's like.

 

[okeydokey]

I am a ref as well, football and soccer, high school level. I know what it's like.

It's still not right.