Someone tell me a joke or funny story

[MinnyGranny62]

I am having a really bad night, hurting really bad tonight. No details....
so tell me something funny to keep my mind occupied. Shirley

 

[ryan840]

My oldest said to me today about the baby crying "Mom, he's crying. Feed him with the ****ies" (I am nursing...) He said it so matter of factly too... Feel an better? We are going to Disney World at the same time, and we don't live far from each other. Think about how much fun you're going to have!

 

[MinnyGranny62]

My oldest said to me today about the baby crying "Mom, he's crying. Feed him with the ****ies" (I am nursing...) He said it so matter of factly too... Feel an better? We are going to Disney World at the same time, and we don't live far from each other. Think about how much fun you're going to have!

Thank you I did get a laugh out of it and do feel better. Hope to see you in WDW. Shirley

 

[Snow Brite]

What do you put in a Honeymoon Salad?









Lettuce alone, with no dressing.

 

[MinnyGranny62]

Cool...thanks again.

 

[ryan840]

Thank you I did get a laugh out of it and do feel better. Hope to see you in WDW. Shirley

Glad I could help (and of course what mom doesn't love a free brag about their kids )

Good one Snow Brite.

 

[Tracey1974]

Ok, these are bad but you didn't say you wanted good jokes...

Here goes:

What is the fruitiest lesson?
History, because it's full of dates!


What animals are on legal documents?
Seals!

I'd tell you another joke about a pencil.
But it doesn't have any point!

 

[MinnyGranny62]

Thanks guys these sure do help. At least I forgot why I posted
this thread. Shirley

 

[Colleen456]

My Dad lives in Westland. I was there last weekend for a mini-visit

Joke
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

She replied, "Yes or No."

Today DH and I were having a discussion with our 16 month old DD. I asked her if she loved Daddy and she did an exaggerated YES nod. Daddy then asked her if she loved Mommy, she did the same thing. I then asked her if she loved her big brother...this time she threw her arms up in the air and shrugged her shoulders Guess he's tackled her one too many times in her short life!

Hope your night gets better!

 

[MinnyGranny62]

Colleen a little chilly today wasn't it? Thanks for the story and joke, sometimes it takes me a while to catch a joke but when I do get it I laugh. Sometimes a week later I will burst out laughing and DH will ask me what the heck I am cackling at.

 

[Colleen456]

MinnieGranny I actually thought it was nice outside today, lol. I went to bed last night feeling a bit under the weather and woke up with a full blow head cold that's kicking my butt.

DH let me sleep in today and DS came in from playing and he had a T-shirt and shorts on so all day I assumed it was warm out. DH gave DD a bath then put her in a long sleeve shirt and I said won't she be warm? He said have you been out at all today? NOPE! I'm sick and I was a couch potato. He then tells me how chilly it is out. So then I asked him why was DS (age 7) outside in shorts...he said because he dressed himself and he's 7. Oh my bad....I forgot that the 7 year old knows best

 

[MinnyGranny62]

MinnieGranny I actually thought it was nice outside today, lol. I went to bed last night feeling a bit under the weather and woke up with a full blow head cold that's kicking my butt.

DH let me sleep in today and DS came in from playing and he had a T-shirt and shorts on so all day I assumed it was warm out. DH gave DD a bath then put her in a long sleeve shirt and I said won't she be warm? He said have you been out at all today? NOPE! I'm sick and I was a couch potato. He then tells me how chilly it is out. So then I asked him why was DS (age 7) outside in shorts...he said because he dressed himself and he's 7. Oh my bad....I forgot that the 7 year old knows best

I have an 8yo DGS and he would wear shorts all winter if his parents would let him. Kids just never seem to get cold. Gotta Love them. Shirley

 

[Colleen456]

BOYS, LOL

DS came in around 3 all banged up, boys I swear need full body armor! I asked him if he would like to change into pants to keep what's let of his knees from getting skinned. He looked at me like I was insane. Guess bloody knees are cool when you're 7.

I looked at DH and said that not matter what that boy is wearing pants to school all week! I swear he looks like the poster child for abuse right now, and that's just from this weekend. I can't wait until summer gets here

MinnyGranny I just found this joke and it made me laugh.

One night a burglar is trying to break into a house. He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - "Jesus is watching you!" He jumps, turns around, but he doesn't see anything. So he starts creeping across the lawn again. "Jesus is watching you!" He hears it again. So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house. He says to the parrot, "Did you say that?" The parrot answers "Yes I did." So the burglar asks, "What's your name?" The parrot says "Clarence." The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence?" The parrot laughs and says, "The same stupid idiot that named his Rottweiler 'Jesus' "

 

[MinnyGranny62]

That was a good one.

 

[Robindianne]

here's one for you:

Three women, two younger and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. One young woman pressed her forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at her questioningly.

“That was my pager,” she said. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished she explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.”

The older woman felt very low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The woman finally said, “Well, will you look at that … I’m getting a fax!”

 

[MinnyGranny62]

I like that one...now maybe I can get some sleep. DH will wonder what I am snickering about all night. Well...just let him wonder. Shirley