Dax
Emma and Christopher's Mommy - Best job ever
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2000
- Messages
- 4,171
Some random fluff for today
-The eyes are the second thing to go. I forget the first ...
-I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
-I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
-Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
-Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
-All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
-I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
-A beggar asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
-What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
-They told me I was gullible -- and I believed them.
-Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
-Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
-Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
-What if there were no hypothetical questions?
-One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
-When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
-A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
-What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
-My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
-I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
-The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
-How can there be self-help "groups?"
-Is there another word for synonym?
-Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
-The speed of time is one second per second.
-Is it possible to be totally partial?
-What's another word for thesaurus?
-If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
-Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
-If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
-Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
-It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
-Is it my imagination, or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken?
-The eyes are the second thing to go. I forget the first ...
-I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
-I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
-Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
-Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
-All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
-I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
-A beggar asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
-What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
-They told me I was gullible -- and I believed them.
-Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
-Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
-Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
-What if there were no hypothetical questions?
-One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
-When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
-A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
-What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
-My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
-I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
-The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
-How can there be self-help "groups?"
-Is there another word for synonym?
-Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
-The speed of time is one second per second.
-Is it possible to be totally partial?
-What's another word for thesaurus?
-If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
-Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
-If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
-Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
-It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
-Is it my imagination, or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken?
