Solo Trip Guilt and Overwhelmed

[sage210]

Hi all!
It's been ages since I've posted because I've been trying to convince myself there are other places to vacation. Apparently that was unsuccessful because here I am again! Sorry for the book length post, maybe I just need some other solo parents to vent to and some advice?

I had "rediscovered" Disneyland as an adult while at a conference in Anaheim, and had a blast in the parks for a day solo. Since then I've taken my daughter to Disneyworld twice and Disneyland once. She loves it as much as I do, and she understands how lucky she's been that we've been able to afford it. (Partially due to her being in year-round school and her breaks were on value season and could couple it with work or other events.)

Last year I took up running and did the Disney 10K during marathon weekend 2016 as a "reward". For whatever reason, after that I stopped running, and just now am now getting back into it. As motivation to continue I signed up for the 2017 Wine and Dine 10K in November. I'm excited to get back to Disney, and love the race environment they have, and Food and Wine festival seems amazing.

BUT now I find myself struggling with 2 things.
1. Being in November means my daughter, now 11, is in middle school on a traditional schedule and will still be in school so this will be a solo trip. Daughter is understandably crushed that this is even a possibility. I feel so guilty about wanting to have fun without her. Are there other solo travelers that have advice on how to deal with my own guilt or ways to make it easier on her. I'm really torn between knowing even adults need a break sometimes so it's ok to vacation well without her, and wondering what kind of parent taunts their kid with Disney without them.

2. When we do Disney, we usually do it "well" spending a day in each park and left over time for downtime at resorts, even a day at Universal. I scour the boards here to make it affordable, have used DVCrentals, and discounts to keep it affordable. Now that I'm planning for 1, I find it much more overwhelming, as the cost per person is so much higher (of course) and I have no idea how much time to plan when I don't have to factor in "negotiating" time, discussion time at dinner, resting time for someone else. Basically I think I'm not able to de-Mom myself from these decisions. Any tips on the difference being a solo traveler? I'm guessing reading through this board is a good start?

Thanks for reading. I think I got so excited about doing a Disney race again that it's just catching up to me that I get a Disney vacation out of the deal too! Yay!...but Yikes!

 

[goofyintoronto]

Hi all!
It's been ages since I've posted because I've been trying to convince myself there are other places to vacation. Apparently that was unsuccessful because here I am again! Sorry for the book length post, maybe I just need some other solo parents to vent to and some advice?

I had "rediscovered" Disneyland as an adult while at a conference in Anaheim, and had a blast in the parks for a day solo. Since then I've taken my daughter to Disneyworld twice and Disneyland once. She loves it as much as I do, and she understands how lucky she's been that we've been able to afford it. (Partially due to her being in year-round school and her breaks were on value season and could couple it with work or other events.)

Last year I took up running and did the Disney 10K during marathon weekend 2016 as a "reward". For whatever reason, after that I stopped running, and just now am now getting back into it. As motivation to continue I signed up for the 2017 Wine and Dine 10K in November. I'm excited to get back to Disney, and love the race environment they have, and Food and Wine festival seems amazing.

BUT now I find myself struggling with 2 things.
1. Being in November means my daughter, now 11, is in middle school on a traditional schedule and will still be in school so this will be a solo trip. Daughter is understandably crushed that this is even a possibility. I feel so guilty about wanting to have fun without her. Are there other solo travelers that have advice on how to deal with my own guilt or ways to make it easier on her. I'm really torn between knowing even adults need a break sometimes so it's ok to vacation well without her, and wondering what kind of parent taunts their kid with Disney without them.

2. When we do Disney, we usually do it "well" spending a day in each park and left over time for downtime at resorts, even a day at Universal. I scour the boards here to make it affordable, have used DVCrentals, and discounts to keep it affordable. Now that I'm planning for 1, I find it much more overwhelming, as the cost per person is so much higher (of course) and I have no idea how much time to plan when I don't have to factor in "negotiating" time, discussion time at dinner, resting time for someone else. Basically I think I'm not able to de-Mom myself from these decisions. Any tips on the difference being a solo traveler? I'm guessing reading through this board is a good start?

Thanks for reading. I think I got so excited about doing a Disney race again that it's just catching up to me that I get a Disney vacation out of the deal too! Yay!...but Yikes!

Solo trips are AWESOME!!!!! I felt a bit guilty going without my DS16 for my first solo trip....but the guilt went away as soon as I got there, and it never reappeared again. I had the best time solo. Its truly refreshing and a lot of fun. I get to pick the restaurants without having to negotiate with someone else. I can leave a park to go to another whenever i want. I can skip the rides i want. I can take a break when i want. Its pretty sweet. BTW as a solo traveller, i'd highly recommend park hopping.

Im cheap, so when i travel solo naturally i'll just look for the best deal out there. The year before it was was pop century, last year it was Sports. I've already stayed at these resorts so i knew what to expect. I love both. Never had an issues while there alone, never felt unsafe. Just go and have a great time.

Since you're alone, yes the cost per person is higher however, you wont be spending as much on food. At least i didnt. My son eats a lot so when i traveled solo, i couldn't believe how much money i saved. LOL!

 

[com_op_2000]

Relax you are going to a place where you enjoy it for yourself. Your DD is old enough that she will know that mom needs her alone time.
As for the visit itself:
Go the parks for two days, take a day off, go the parks for two days, take a day off, etc.
This way you force yourself to have downtime and are not worn out from your vacation when you get home.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Relax you are going to a place where you enjoy it for yourself. Your DD is old enough that she will know that mom needs her alone time.
As for the visit itself:
Go the parks for two days, take a day off, go the parks for two days, take a day off, etc.
This way you force yourself to have downtime and are not worn out from your vacation when you get home.

It all depends on the person though. Everyone is different. I think a full day off is a bit too much, let alone every three days. Thats just me anyway. I'd more inclined to take afternoon breaks every day or so than to take a full day of rest. All depends on the person.

 

[melana]

i know what you mean about feeling guilt. I booked a vacation for this October using rented points for DVC. I usually travel with my sister and niece to WDW but niece is still in school and sister works with the school board so their ability to travel anytime other than the summer is almost impossible.
I haven't even told them I am going yet. It isn't so much that I feel guilty about my sister but my niece. Disney is our thing and I know she will be disappointed.

But I am bound and determined to have a good time regardless. But it is hard sometimes.

 

[Dawn T.]

Don't feel guilty. When Mom's battery is recharged, life is good. You will have a great time, but move beyond feeling like you shouldn't travel solo. You and your daughter will have lots of trips in the future. Go and RUN.....

 

[Melissakay1q]

I struggle with solo Disney guilt, too. My DD will be 2 this fall when I make my second solo trip to WDW. The truth is, my DH isn't a park guy, my DD is not a good traveler and dang it, mom needs some time to herself!

There's nothing wrong with a parent taking some time to themselves every so often.

 

[sage210]

Thanks, all! Youre right. Time to recharge will be excellent. And I really am looking forward to doing a few more things on my schedule that a kid might not like.

We usually plan together so I'll tone down my excitement around the house so I dont rub it in. (Good thing for these boards so someone understands the joy!)

I'll give myself another week to feel guilty, ( I was raised Catholic so I have to give guilt its due) then I'll get over it and start the excitement! Woot woot!