So...what exactly are the duties of the best man?

[WDWbride2007]

OK...my fiance got a bit carried away when he proposed to me. He was so excited that he called two of his closest friends and asked both to be his best man. Since he is an only child, he had always looked forward to having a close friend stand next to him. Unfortunatley, he is now a bit stressed because he doesn't want to let anyone down. I guess I made it worst since I told him that I only want my sister at the altar with me. He is quite into the wedding planning and thinks it will look awkward if I only have 1 person and he has 2. Luckily, I am not so picky about the details. Besides, we are going to have a small intimate wedding, so I want to have some people in the pews for the event. Plus, I just hate the idea of putting my sister and friend through the torture of finding matching dresses. I don't care if the style is the same, but it is virtually impossible to find the same shade of red without getting the dress from the same designer or store. Anyways, a bit off topic....so now my cute DH2B is a bit confused. I am not sure what the best man is supposed to do besides hold the rings and toast the couple. I suggested that he divide the duties between his two friends. I figure one can hold the rings and stand next to him...while the other can be the #2 guy at the ceremony but give the toast at the short reception. I would greatly appreciate any advice or ideas...Thanks!

Barbie

 

[WDWbride2007]

Oh, I forgot to mention...He doesn't want a traditional bachelor's party. Instead, he is opting to take all the men out for a day of golf while at WDW. So, I guess he really doesn't need a best man to organize the booze and the crazy night out.

 

[twojo21]

the traditional duties are listed at theknot.com here http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html?Object=AI91203104154&keywordID=163&keywordType=2&parentID=527
all those details arent necessary though, attendants are people you care about & want by your side the day of your wedding.

 

[tmt martins]

To talk HIM out of it

JKoC It's still his duty to set up the party be it a day of golf or other.
It's also his to do a toast and start you guys off as a couple .
Make sure BF has everything and is on time and stuff like that.

 

[Mary626]

OK...my fiance got a bit carried away when he proposed to me. He was so excited that he called two of his closest friends and asked both to be his best man. Since he is an only child, he had always looked forward to having a close friend stand next to him. Unfortunatley, he is now a bit stressed because he doesn't want to let anyone down. I guess I made it worst since I told him that I only want my sister at the altar with me. He is quite into the wedding planning and thinks it will look awkward if I only have 1 person and he has 2. Luckily, I am not so picky about the details. Besides, we are going to have a small intimate wedding, so I want to have some people in the pews for the event. Plus, I just hate the idea of putting my sister and friend through the torture of finding matching dresses. I don't care if the style is the same, but it is virtually impossible to find the same shade of red without getting the dress from the same designer or store. Anyways, a bit off topic....so now my cute DH2B is a bit confused. I am not sure what the best man is supposed to do besides hold the rings and toast the couple. I suggested that he divide the duties between his two friends. I figure one can hold the rings and stand next to him...while the other can be the #2 guy at the ceremony but give the toast at the short reception. I would greatly appreciate any advice or ideas...Thanks!

Barbie

I wouldn't worry too much about the uneven pairing. I've been to many weddings where there were unequal bridesmaids to groomsmen and I didn't even notice until the bride mentioned it later. (I'm also having an uneven amount).

Nothing wrong with having two best men!! Does it matter to them who stands closest or who does what? Maybe they can help you decide based on what they're comfortable with.

I'm in a situation where my Maid of Honor (my sister) doesn't want to be the one closest to me at the altar , because she doesn't want to be in too "visible".. and she does'nt want to give a speech at the reception either..

Maybe one of your groomsmen feels the same way about not wanting to perform some of the duties, then there would be an easy solution to your problem. Of course life is rarely that easy lol

 

[JandJ]

We had the opposite problem - we had just a best man and a maid of honor but, our best man injured his hand (requiring 2 surgeries) before the wedding and could not come! So, my maid of honor (my niece) held down both roles - she held my bouquet and had both rings but did not give a toast (she's 17). It was non-traditional but it was perfect for us. She thought it was great to be "maid-of-honor/best 'man'" and we appreciated her doing it. I wouldn't worry about having even numbers, it's not uncommon to have more on one side than the other, I've been in weddings like that, and I've also been in ones where the bride or groom is scraping to find 1 extra person to match the sides - and they're not even their real friends. I think that is much worse.

 

[WDWbride2007]

Thanks, ladies! I spoke to my fiance and we will probably go with my maid of honor and his two best men. It is so amusing to see how involved and excited he is about the whole thing. It is going to be a long two years...unless we win the lottery of course!

 

[JandJ]

Good luck with the planning! Wow - 2 years - that's cool, I had only 9 months to plan my Disney wedding (we had an Intimate Wedding) and it flew by! I envy you for that time - enjoy every minute as planning is part of the fun

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

\ I guess I made it worst since I told him that I only want my sister at the altar with me. He is quite into the wedding planning and thinks it will look awkward if I only have 1 person and he has 2.

I would not fret this detail. At oine point, I just wanted my best friend as my MoH while he had 5 of his closest buddies there with him. The people you want at the altar with you are the people you want by your side as you make one of the biggest commitments in your life (I think only deciding to have a baby is bigger!). With a 1/2 pairing, it's no big deal. For phots, they will put her between the two of them.

Plus, I just hate the idea of putting my sister and friend through the torture of finding matching dresses. I don't care if the style is the same, but it is virtually impossible to find the same shade of red without getting the dress from the same designer or store.

Not so anymore. David's Bridal is very affordable and they offer a great line of mix and match separates. You can ask the girls to choose the same color and let them do the rest. Or, you can ask they wear the same skirt and whatever tops they like. Or, you dictate the top and let them choose the bottom. If it was that much of a problem, no one would ever choose more than one person! Keep in mind if they have dresses that will show their shoes (like a tealength), you probably want them to wear the same type of shoes. Here's the link to the mix and match bridesmaids dresses: http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridesmaids_make_a_match_separates.jsp

I am not sure what the best man is supposed to do besides hold the rings and toast the couple. I suggested that he divide the duties between his two friends. I figure one can hold the rings and stand next to him...while the other can be the #2 guy at the ceremony but give the toast at the short reception.

You can. You may want to ask them how they feel about only one toasting though. Here are a few things from The Wedding Channel.com. They also have some great tool options like countdown to-do lists, packing lists, etc. Best Man articles:
http://www.weddingchannel.com/ui/bu...917&s=84&t=71&p=5865158&searchOrigin=1&c=3917
http://www.weddingchannel.com/ui/buildArticle.action?assetUID=3940&c=3940&s=84&t=71&p=5865158
http://wedding.weddingchannel.com/articles/usher.asp

As for your golf outing, don't let them go it alone. Brye was trying to plan a golf outing for 10 by himself. I brained up and went the course and asked a few questions. They put me in contact with the Golf Group Reservations and event managers. Use them! You don't have to worry about getting the tee time all together by yourself, the pairings, etc. Plus, if you want to do something extra, they help. We are putting together packages for each person with personalized balls, a personalized towel, a golf ball with the course's logo, two bottles of beer, $15 for lunch at the turn, and tees. Disney is making it a lot easier to get the stuff into the carts. We were wondering how he was going to be able to buy 20 bottles of beer without people questioning him! PM me if you want the phone number.

Good luck!
xoxo