So, I'm engaged....and stressed

[ohiomom28]

I can completely see how women become "bridezillas" LOL

Its only been 5 days and I'm stressing already.
I know I need to calm down, but then I think I've got less than 9 months til the wedding and I still have everything to do. Do I really need to start now or slow down like my fiance' says??

 

[~disneydiva~]

First...Congrats!!

What size wedding do you want? Start looking for places to have it.

 

[AKL_Megs]

First of all, CONGRATS!!!

Secondly, calm down!!!

At the 9 month mark, as long as you figure out a hall, and BOOK that hall, it's all downhill from there!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Congrats! Don't get stressed! The most important part is actually the wedding- your vows. After that it is just a party. It's no different than planning a birthday party. It is just for more people. Relax and enjoy the planning.

 

[ohiomom28]

Thank you!

I'm thinking 150-200, my family is huge.

I'm trying to do this as cheaply as possible. My parents are paying for it but I still want to stay on a budget.
They can get a hall for cheap, however I don't want it there, so I think we will be paying for what we want.
Churches are outrageous in pricing and a lot only allow members, but I think we may be using a friends church with no fee. Its small but it will work.
My fiance thinks we can wait on getting a hall and church, he doesn't understand that they book up quickly.

I have my dress. We went Monday and found what I want so we bought it. I need to decide what bridesmaid dresses I want and what color because the bridal shop is already 3 months out on getting my sash I ordered.

 

[~disneydiva~]

Don't worry! It can be done!! My DH proposed to me in February and we had our wedding the end of May. Ours was about the size you are thinking. We got married at a rec center in town. It was really nice...we did everything there.

 

[PirateFairy8]

I'm glad I'm not the only one! I got engaged Sunday and I'm already stressed too. I just got medical clearance to go back to school so everything is hitting me at once! Good luck to you and congrats!

 

[EeyoreEma]

Congrats!! And try not to stress - enjoy it - it will go by so fast!! The one thing you really DO need to do right now is book the places for the ceremony and reception. They do fill up quickly. Other than that, just enjoy it! One suggestion for bridesmaids dresses - if you know anyone that sews really well, find a pattern that you like and have them make the dresses. That's what I did. My mom knew a seamstress, and I had my bridesmaids dresses done for $89/dress - including fabric. Finding a photographer should also happen soon, as they book up as well. But really, the most important thing is to just enjoy it all, even the planning.

 

[suzannen]

Congratulations! As others have said, the two things that need to be settled quickly are the venues for the service and reception. Wait until you have those before you decide on the bridesmaids' dresses. I'm helping my DD plan her wedding in September. She got engaged last August so she had 13 months to plan. We started looking four days after she became engaged. Even that far ahead, some places were already booked or could only do "this" specific time of day, but not "that" specific time of day. Depending on the type of venue and the time of day you finally book, will help you narrow down how dressy, casual, short or long you'll want your bridesmaids' dresses to be. My DD completely changed her mind about the wedding style she thought she wanted (daytime, trendy, casual) to the complete opposite (very formal, evening setting). So take a breath and think about the sort of place you envision the two of you saying your vows and having your reception and start making calls. Once you've done that - you can slow down a bit!

 

[Shreggor]

I am getting married on 10/31 of this year. Do you want to know what I've done so far?

ALMOST NOTHING!! I am so not a girly girl and wedding stuff bores me to tears.

Well, we knew where we wanted the ceremony & reception (same place for both) so we went and booked that right away after we got engaged last August. So that's done.

Then I saw this wicked cute prom dress that could totally pass for a wedding gown on sale for $150 bucks in the mall. It fit perfect. I bought it and some things I plan to sew onto it (a cameo and a few other gothic style embellishments) to dress it up a bit. So that's done. Not gonna lie, pretty psyched that at age 33 I fit into a size 7/8 prom dress. Go me! It's not the long, flowing dress of my dreams but the price was right and everyone so far loves it.

We just booked our honeymoon. Well, part of it. We had 3 free nights at a Disney hotel (long story) so we are using that for the last 3 nights. We have airfare already and we'll have two more nights in FL that we need to book. So that's in the works.

I'm using fake black roses (real ones are too hard to color properly and cost more than a night at AKL concierge so, sorry, but using the fake ones). I already have them. They mean a lot to me because they were given to me by a friend. So flowers are done.

We don't have a JP yet. We really want our friend to get to be able to be a JP for a day (he has to apply w/ the state and they don't like you to apply more than 3 months out) and do the ceremony. If this doesn't work out… well… I don't know. I've never heard of anyone being denied.

We have no guest list yet (the room limits us to 100 people and most of our family and friends won't be able to make it due to location and date), we have no plans for the ceremony-- nothing written, no music picked, no registry. We'll get around to it. We already know that of the 75 or so people we will invite, only about 30 will show up. We're not too worried about it. The way the room is set up, it's long tables and not tiny group tables, Seating plans aren't really an issue.

I am wicked OCD about the music that gets played so I will literally be my own DJ. FI is in a band and has equiptment and I have a music collection that is probably bigger than the average Djs anyway.
We don't feel like wasting the money on a dj when I have an ipod library with over 60,000 songs and FI has professional speaker system for his band.

We don't feel like wasting the money on a photographer when FI's best friend is a really good photographer and offered to just take pics for us.

Our decorations will consist of jack o lanterns and assorted Halloween stuff we already own. The place we're getting married at is decorated like a gothic castle anyway so very little is needed.

We're making our own invitations. It's Halloween so favors will likely be candy spread over the table.

Honestly, slow down. You have plenty of time.

People get so worked up over their weddings. The wedding doesn't really matter. The marriage does. I honestly don't understand people who spend thousands and thousands of dollars and plan every single little minute detail of their wedding day. My friend is spending $4500 of her dad's money (might be different if it were her own) to get a photographer. That is more than my car is worth! That is my rent for almost an entire year! Her dress cost even more than that (and it looks actually kind of like mine…)

 

[PrincessBelle09]

Well, you have the dress which sets the tone for the whole event, so that's a good start. Just worry about booking the hall/church right now and then calm down. Nine months is enough time. Make a list of what needs to be done and it what order so that you can enjoy the planning process. For example: After the hall/church, find an officiant. Make a guest list for the wedding and any pre-wedding events. Send save the dates for the wedding. Pick out attendants attire and set wedding colors. Meet with prospective photographers, caterers, DJs, bands, etc. and make a selection.

If you make a list of every detail that needs to be addressed ahead of time, you won't be scrambling around for the next nine months, convinced that you're forgetting something major and you'll know what you need to focus on and when. =)

 

[MrsPete]

To stress or to calm down? I'd say yes and no:

1. When I was first engaged, it seemed that I had so many important decisions to make RIGHT NOW! The date, the location, the wedding attendants . . . but once those very important things were chosen, I didn't have all that much to do until about two months before the wedding. So don't confuse these initial choices (which are legitimately stressful) with what the next 9 months will be like!

2. Decide now on your priority items. Do you care tremendously about the dress, but the music isn't all that important to you? Or do you want a blow-out reception but consider the invitations a blow-off item? Decide now what items mean most to you, and put your efforts into those things. Pick out the 3-5 things that are absolute must-haves, and go all-out on those things . . . but be moderate in everything else. So if photographs are super-important to you, put in the time researching your options and put your budget into that . . . but then accept that you have little time and effort for the cake. The point, of course, is that you can't make everything a top priority, so decide what matters to you.

3. Once you make a decision, let it go. Don't continue to re-hash it in your mind, don't continue to comparison shop, don't worry yourself ragged about whether a better option is out there. Don't lay awake at night wondering if you should've chosen a 5-tier cake instead of 4-tier. Don't second-guess your flower girl's dress. Make a choice, and move on to the next one.

4. Seek a healthy balance between "this is my one and only wedding" and "it's only one day in your whole life". If at any point you're over-stressed, take a couple days off from wedding stuff. But accomplish as much as you can within the next months; don't leave too much for the end. And along with this, accept that something will go wrong, but the point is to be married in the end -- not to have a perfect party.

 

[PigletsMommy]

Also there are some great websites out there with planning checklists and schedules. You can alter them to fit within your ideas. I used them as guidelines. Try theknot or weddingchannel

Most importantly, have FUN! This is an exciting time in your life, try to enjoy it!

Oh and CONGRATS!!

 

[Abbie]

Also there are some great websites out there with planning checklists and schedules. You can alter them to fit within your ideas. I used them as guidelines. Try theknot or weddingchannel

Most importantly, have FUN! This is an exciting time in your life, try to enjoy it!

Oh and CONGRATS!!

Too funny, I was just going to suggest NOT going to those websites if you want to calm down! There are plenty of good ideas but it's so easy to be overwhelmed there, and there are really more than a few crazy-nut brides.

We planned my DD's wedding at 9 months out and it was elegant and perfect. Like others have said, decide what's most important and get those settled. Choose the venue for the wedding and reception (keep in mind these can be the same) then the rest is easy. Time-consuming but doesn't need to be terribly stressful.

Congrats to all the newly engaged!

 

[minniebeth]

Congratulations!
Planning a wedding can be stressful, just don't lose sight of what the wedding is for.
Planning can be half the fun and it will go by sooo fast, so enjoy it! It will be here before you know it. Let others help~
Remember, everyone else who cares about you is excited too, let them share in that.
Best wishes!

 

[disneyfans95]

First...Congrats!!

What size wedding do you want? Start looking for places to have it.

Book that wedding facility ASAP. I am a hotel GM that has a large catering business that we run along with the hotel rooms.

We do about 100+ weddings a year. We are down to the lousy dates for 2011 and the prime 2012 are already gone (long weekends, Saturday nights in Sept). Sept is the new June for weddings by the way

If you are willing to go off season (you would be at March 2011) you might have better luck. So move to Feb if you can swing it, and look for a price break.

If you are doing a church wedding, be sure you are flexible, because with only 9 months to go, getting the same date for both your church and reception hall could be tough.

Now if you are lower key (nothing wrong with that ) and are just going to the local HOA or such, then you have more time, but still get that hall booked soon.

 

[golfgal]

I never really got stressed about my wedding plans (except when the church called and said that they were going to start renovations and we couldn't get married there-this was 2 months before our wedding --the plans got delayed so it all worked out in the end).

At this point, you just need to reserve stuff-the hall, caterer, DJ, photographer. Since you already have your dress, the rest can wait a while. As far as finding places to have your wedding, if you don't belong to a church, look for other options. Many hotels have large banquet rooms where you can have the ceremony and reception all in one place. We just went to a wedding like this at a golf club-it was really nice not having to drive to a reception spot.

It sounds like you already have a date but if you can do a Friday night vs a Saturday wedding your options will be better.

 

[JoiseyMom]

COngrats! I agree with the others, find your venue! That is the hardest part, finding a place you like that you can afford!

I see you live in Beavercreek..my DS just moved to OH, and he was house hunting in that town yesterday!!

 

[SydSim]

If your parents are paying for the wedding, and their venue choice isn't what you'd like, take that contribution amount and add your money to it, to get the place that you really like.

Not suggesting that you do this, but in order to minimize bridesmaid drama, I paid for their dresses. Didn't hear a peep from them

Wedding and funerals can be so full of drama. Everyone thinks it about them!

 

[minkydog]

I can completely see how women become "bridezillas" LOL

Its only been 5 days and I'm stressing already.
I know I need to calm down, but then I think I've got less than 9 months til the wedding and I still have everything to do. Do I really need to start now or slow down like my fiance' says??

Depends on what kind of wedding you think you want. Great big blowout, 500 invitees, 9 bridesmaids, live band--yeah, you probably better get cracking. And take out a loan, while you're at it. Small, intimate wedding, <50 people, small hors'doveurs reception, maybe on the beach or in a chapel--you can easily do that in less than 9 months.

I planned my wedding in exactly 2 weeks. That's right. We had planned a larger wedding right after our college graduation, but by March I was stressed with the size of it, the fact that we were going to have to move immediately after graduation, and I was just tired of the whole thing. We made a quick decision to just ditch the plans and get married in 2 weeks. I made my dress, we booked a church(it's easier to get a church in early April than anytime in the summer), got a cake, two bridesmaids. We had no flowers other than my bouquet because we were getting married in a 110yo church with the most beautiful Italian stained glass windows you've ever seen. The whole thing cost us $300. That's all we had, so that's all we spent.It was a beautiful, simple little wedding. We have been married 29 years, so I guess we got our money's worth.