So I guess I might need some help...

[hematite153]

I didn't mean be a friend with an ex... but current friends won't necessarily abandon you.

I didn't think you'd meant that. I was saying two different things.

1. Don't assume your friends with abandon you because they will "side with her". I am friends with many people who used to be couples and I am still able to know and care about them both as individuals.

2. Don't push yourself to be friends with her now. You said that you aren't ready, so, go with your heart. But, if it were me, I also wouldn't rule it out forever. I went to my ex's wedding 2 years ago, he (and most of his family) and my DW's ex (and her whole family) came to my wedding 6 years ago and I think I may get invitation to his sister's wedding. We live in very different places and have drifted apart, but, I'll always care for him and the bond is still there. We didn't get to that point quickly or easily, but, the time spent working on becoming friends was absolutely worthwhile. Likewise, my DW's relationship with her ex hasn't always been smooth, but, it's been worth it for her to maintain the friendship. We both have other previous relationships where friendship wasn't/isn't an option. But, sometimes it can work. What I was trying to say is, I'd recommend not making any irrevocable decisions about the future until you've had some time to heal.

 

[Hydani]

Yeah... I don't think all of my friends have sided with her. Having to deal with this alone would not be helpful. I don't even know if I can be friends with her, just like what jackskellingtonsgirl said. I do have a lot of feelings for her and I don't think they're going to go away, especially sometime soon. I don't know what I should even do right now though, friend-wise. She broke up with me, her mom just had surgery and is now having painful workweeks, her two grandparents have cancer and live across the seas, and her dad moved out on her mom. It feels like I have no choice but to help support her now.

And for what DouglasE and TagsMissy said, yeah I was thinking about joining a softball league. I was thinking about an adult recreational one but I'm so used to playing a little more... competitively. I'll find something, it's almost spring. Thank for all the kind words and suggestions guys, coming here and reading what everyone has said has helped me feel a little better. I'm still pretty far down, but you guys have significantly helped me. Thanks