So frustrated with Scouts, I could scream! UPDATE:: POST 21!

[roliepolieoliefan]

First I will address alot of your questions, comments and give you an update on the situation.

No, there is no medical condition that we know of, with the leader, unless its lasted from September through June. My DH as well as DS's friends dad has asked the current den leader many many times if he needed help since both always stay for every den meeting. The answer is always , no I can handle it.

DS's friends dad has offered to conduct meetings when the current leader can't make it or is overwhelmed, again refuses help. I in no way call the leader names and have not tried to resolve this issue. I am no stranger to volunteering and do plenty at my DS's school and head plenty of committee's. My DS's friends dad was more than happy to take the den over, this leader refuses to give it up., even though he does a poor job to say the least.

I am not shucking this off on anybody. My thing is if you can't do the job, give it up. let somebody else do it. I resent the fact that some of you think I'm complaining but have made no effort to do anything. My DH has offered many times and is turned down. What else is there to do? I help set up for the pack meetings, I volunteered at day camp this summer but I also have a 3 yo DD, who I take to activities also, so this is mainly DH's thing with our son. I have taken on the part about switching dens because DH is not good at confrontation.

UPDATE:: Tonight there was a conference call between the scoutmaster, cooridinator, DS's friends dad and mom and myself. It was decided that the coordinator and scoutmaster will confront the current leader nicely and try to suggest ways to conduct the meetings with more structure and discipline. I guess there is also a guideline book for Weeblo leaders which will be given to both leaders and asked to follow. DH and DS's friends dad will ask again to assist the leader with the meeting.

We are going to see how this works out. If nothing changes by September or October we are to contact them again and we will try another route. The scoutmaster and coordinator were very sympathetic and again DS's friends dad asked if he could start another den , but they want to try the 1st approach to see how it works out.

So we'll see. I'm hoping things change for the better for DS and his friend.

 

[tngramma]

I hope you can work it out. We are into cub scouts too. (Dh is a den leader & I do all the work , plus I'm on the Pack committee.) We had this problem with one of the other dens and it finally came down to the Pack Master asking the leader to resign. Anyway, I'm really surprised they are giving you a hard time switching! We have 4 new boys coming into our den from another pack in September b/c there were problems in their old one. I know our Council will do almost anything to encourage the boys to stay involved with scouting. Try going higher up. Good Luck to you and your family

OMG Stimpy I feel your pain. Now mind you my DS is now 25 and in the Army but when he was in second grade my DH took him to sign up for Cub Scouts. They returned with the news that we (DH and myself) are now Den Leaders. I was not even a Girl Scout!!!! Guess who did all the work and who stood up in front of the boys and parents and took all the credit??????? Then DH took over as Cub Master. Guess who did all the work and who stood up in front to the boys and parents and took all the credit??? Then we both were asked to be on the Round Table Staff and yes you guessed it. I did all the work and DH did all the talking and took credit for all of it. What is so funny is I look back on those times and have only good memories. The times I thought were so bad are now comical.

DS went on to earn his Eagle which helped him with rank when he joined the Army. DS also said he used much of his Scout training during his Basic Training for Army.

Continue doing all the work and someday you be the Gramma with fond memories.

 

[Stimpy]

OMG Stimpy I feel your pain. Now mind you my DS is now 25 and in the Army but when he was in second grade my DH took him to sign up for Cub Scouts. They returned with the news that we (DH and myself) are now Den Leaders. I was not even a Girl Scout!!!! Guess who did all the work and who stood up in front of the boys and parents and took all the credit??????? Then DH took over as Cub Master. Guess who did all the work and who stood up in front to the boys and parents and took all the credit??? Then we both were asked to be on the Round Table Staff and yes you guessed it. I did all the work and DH did all the talking and took credit for all of it. What is so funny is I look back on those times and have only good memories. The times I thought were so bad are now comical.

DS went on to earn his Eagle which helped him with rank when he joined the Army. DS also said he used much of his Scout training during his Basic Training for Army.

Continue doing all the work and someday you be the Gramma with fond memories.

Yes, that's what happened to me too! DH signed on to be the Tiger cub leader 2 years ago and I'm the one doing everything. Even he admits he's the "figure-head" He also volunteered ME for the committee and for several other pack related events. I now tell him if he "volunteers" for one more thing I may divorce him Every time we go somewhere for any organization and they ask for volunteers I immediately give DH the "look" But I don't regret any of the work I do now.

I was a girl scout all through school (made First Class, Silver & Gold Award), but I think boy scouts is so much different. Easier in some respects, harder in others. My Dh is already telling DD-3 how I will be HER leader someday

You must be very proud of your son!!!! Great job Mom

 

[Stimpy]

UPDATE:: Tonight there was a conference call between the scoutmaster, cooridinator, DS's friends dad and mom and myself. It was decided that the coordinator and scoutmaster will confront the current leader nicely and try to suggest ways to conduct the meetings with more structure and discipline. I guess there is also a guideline book for Weeblo leaders which will be given to both leaders and asked to follow. DH and DS's friends dad will ask again to assist the leader with the meeting.

We are going to see how this works out. If nothing changes by September or October we are to contact them again and we will try another route. The scoutmaster and coordinator were very sympathetic and again DS's friends dad asked if he could start another den , but they want to try the 1st approach to see how it works out.

So we'll see. I'm hoping things change for the better for DS and his friend.

I'm glad they are taking you more seriously now. It really stinks when the leader doesn't even follow the motto "try your best!" Hopefully, this will wake the leader up or convince him that being a leader is harder than he thought and he'll take the help or leave.

I have the utmost respect for people that volunteer for organizations. Unfortunately, sometimes a few go in with the best intentions but just can't fulfill the duties. It does happen (not sure of why some posters seem to blame you). Like I mentioned earlier, we had that problem too. Nicest guy in the world but he also never held meetings, never did any of the work the boys needed, never communicated with the parents etc. The whole den quit but 1 boy.

We also have very few parents help out, they don't bring the boys to meetings and we have paid for pretty much everything for our den etc. (We don't collect dues b/c the Pack takes a one time payment in Sept. The dens generally don't collect their own dues.) We also have become the "babysitters" and have a few parents that drive me up a wall. It also takes alot more work than most people realize. BUT we still do everything we can for the boys in our den, which is why we do it. We aren't doing it for the parents, we aren't doing it for the thanks. We do it for our son and the other scouts.

 

[disney6family]

rpofan - please le tus know how it works out, it sounds like now you are moving in a positive direction and after some interference your leader should either shape up or ship out. It is good that both your DH and BFDad are willing to help - you already have your two deep leadership in place, should the leader quit. Don't give up - scouting is worth it! And remember, if you do need to take over the den or start a new one, the difference you make in these boys' lives will be forever.

 

[tngramma]

Yes, that's what happened to me too! DH signed on to be the Tiger cub leader 2 years ago and I'm the one doing everything. Even he admits he's the "figure-head" He also volunteered ME for the committee and for several other pack related events. I now tell him if he "volunteers" for one more thing I may divorce him Every time we go somewhere for any organization and they ask for volunteers I immediately give DH the "look" But I don't regret any of the work I do now.

I was a girl scout all through school (made First Class, Silver & Gold Award), but I think boy scouts is so much different. Easier in some respects, harder in others. My Dh is already telling DD-3 how I will be HER leader someday

You must be very proud of your son!!!! Great job Mom

Let me tell you it never stops with DH volunteering for you. This past summer while living with our DS and DSIL to take care of the grandchildren at the first T-ball game the coach asked for a bench Mom. DH volunteered me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do. It came back to me pretty fast and was volunteered , again by DH, to coach first base, third base and help in the field. DGrandson was happy . Just wanted to give you a heads up. lol