So frustrate with DD's School - Vent

[1stluvispooh]

Ok a little background. DD is HFA in an inclusion 3rd grade class. Last year was extremely difficult. She had a teacher who had quite frankly too many special needs kids in her class and refused to have an aid in her room except for the end of the day to get the kids packed up. That was until I had called an emergency meeting with the principal and her IEP team. The major issue was another special needs child (I don't know for sure what his diagnosis is but I know he has sensory issues since he sits on a spiky cushion and has a speech impediment. ) But he would screech in her ear several times a day. By the 4th time she would have had it and hit him. (DD's OT said the other child was probably looking for the stimuli of being hit and knew DD would eventually comply. ) This would get her in trouble of course. So it was a very rough year and we made the principal promise that the other child and DD would not be in the same class ever again. This year has been going great! Love her teacher, DS had her 2 years ago.

So what's the problem right? Well about 4:30 I checked my e-mail and there was 1 from the speech therapist at school. It basically said that DD and another student in her "speech group" (all speech is done in a group in school because there are so many kids that need it! I have always thought of it as a throw away since it never addresses her problem of language delay) where fighting, verbally. I have a terrible feeling that it is the same kid from last year and they were not to be in any classes together!!! We just got done doing listening thereat because her sound sensitivity had gotten so bad last year (gee I wounder why!) And I don't want to go back to since it has to come out of our pocket. I'm getting ready to tell the speech thereapist at school we don't want her to have services if the other child is in the group!!! I have money on it that it is the problem kids from last year. We have had issues with him outside of school as well.

Sorry it long I'm just not ready for a fight again.

 

[gritzel4]

we made the principal promise that the other child and DD would not be in the same class ever again.

Did you get this in writing?

Unfortunately, we have found that we can never take verbal assurances from our school district - if they promise me anything I send them an email or ask them to put it in writing and whenever possible in DS IEP. We also tape all of our meetings to avoid confusion about what has been said in meetings.

I am sorry your DD is having a tough time.

 

[1stluvispooh]

Yeah we learned the who get it in writing thing too. I also always copy the principal when I send an email about a problem. If you ask for a meeting and to have the principal there our school gives you whatever you want, well almost. I did get a call (gee no evidence of what she said this way!!) from the speech therapist yesterday. It is not the child that DD was have trouble with last year but a new one and on the phone she said that it had been going on for like a month! Hello that would explain some stuff that is going on around here if she would have told me sooner we could have avoided some problems at home and it wouldn't have gone on so long at school. It was funny that she contradicted her self in the call vs the email. so... I guess I will just have to wait and see what is going on. I might "wind up" at school during speech someday this week.

 

[blessedmom4]

Did things get "straightened out"...this can be SO frustrating....

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I don't get why the speech therapist would call you to say your DD was verbally fighting with another child! I work in special ed and if an issue like that arises, we should know how to handle it. If it was a frequent thing, we would probably separate the kids. The kids from my class go to speech in groups of 2 or 3 and the classroom staff, along with the speech therapist, decides how to group the kids. We look at their needs but also consider how they get along. It's counter productive to put kids together in a speech session who are bound to fight. We also don't put them together if they get along too well - like if they're apt to spend the whole session giggling or goofing around together. The ones with more neutral relationships do best in a speech group because they're more likely to focus on the lesson instead of each other.

I also have a special needs son who attends speech therapy. I think if I got a call saying my son had been fighting with someone in speech for a month, I would ask why they weren't separated weeks ago!

And I do have one piece of advice for you. You mentioned that you were thinking of taking your daughter out of speech to avoid her being with another child. Never offer to give up the services to which she's entitled. If you willingly give up a service, it's very difficult to get it reinstated. Instead, tell the school staff that they are responsible for making it work for her. Ask them to put her in a new group and then follow-up by e-mail to see how the new group is working out. I communicate with my son's teachers mostly by e-mail since it gives me a written record of what was discussed. This proved very valuable a few years ago when things weren't going well for him.