So Disappointed...

[Lydia91]

We have planned a trip back to WDW in Nov 2014 after having gone in 2013 specifically because our daughters (then age 3, age 4 at the time of our new trip) just truly *believed* in all the fantasy and we wanted the whole family to experience it again.

Well...childhood moves quickly. We were recently at a special event with lots of Peter Pan characters. Lots of questions from the girls about whether so and so was *real* or statements about how Tinkerbell wasn't real, etc., etc.

Sometimes they know that someone isn't real (evidently a human sized Tinkerbell doesn't meet their smell test) other times they need confirmation (they weren't sure about Cap'n Hook).

So -- I am wondering what we should do at Disney.

If they ask, should we encourage the belief that the Cinderella they are meeting is the "real" Cinderella if they are doubtful? This is what my husband thinks -- since in his view the "real" one of each Disney character IS the one at WDW. I think this might feel too much like lying. I don't want them to doubt that we are telling them the truth about things.

Should we encourage the belief? Should we tell the truth? Are there other good answers to this question about a character "being real"? All advice appreciated!

 

[reneaterry]

When my dd asked if they were real, I asked her what she thought. She said she knows they're just people in costumes, but when they're in costumes at wdw they're the real character. Like they become whatever character they portray. I think it's the Disney magic that allows her to think that way.

 

[Disney Khaleesi]

If they ask, they probably already know and want confirmation. When I found out Santa wasn't real, I asked to make sure. If I had been told he was real, I would have been rather confused.

So if they ask, yes, tell them the truth. However that doesn't mean the magic is gone. I know the characters are just people in costumes, but I still love meeting them! It's just as magical as it always has been. So even if the know the characters aren't real, it doesn't mean they'll be any less excited or the magic will be gone.

 

[BuzzinDownToDisney]

Go with it all the way! They're young for only so long, enjoy it. I'd suggest having a question lined up for each character. Ask Tink where her pixie dust comes from, ask Peter if he's seen that old codfish Captain Hook. Interactions like this suspend all disbelief (Oh don't tell Tink you saw Peter and Wendy hanging out...no bueno, lol.

 

[shm_helene]

I feel you! I don't really have any advice, but my just 4 yo told me they are "just humans dressed up". That being said she thought that the non-face characters were real (Mickey, Jake, Sophia)....I am hoping to convince her of otherwise for our next trip BUT on the flip side if they aren't real then maybe we don't have to stand in line to see them

 

[starsweeper]

My older kids started questioning things, like Disney and Santa, around 4-5 as well. ODS snuck downstairs on Christmas Eve just after turning 6 and found me passed out on the couch after filling stockings and setting out Santa's unwrapped, ready-for-play gifts at midnight. After that, he questioned everything and I know he and his older sister no longer believe. When they ask if things are real, I tell them magic can only exist if you believe in it so they have to decide what they believe. They usually tell me they choose to believe because it's more fun.

Despite knowing it's not real, ODD still begs for meals with the princesses and ODS longs for a Star Wars Weekend to meet everyone.

 

[HaveKidsWillTravel]

When my dd asked if they were real, I asked her what she thought. She said she knows they're just people in costumes, but when they're in costumes at wdw they're the real character. Like they become whatever character they portray. I think it's the Disney magic that allows her to think that way.

this is exactly what we did with my son, age 5. he knows that they are people in costumes, but at Disney they become 'real' because Disney is a magical place!! And as the mom, I get excited to see Mickey and treat him and talk to him as if he was THE Mickey. Where else can you do that as an adult!?! And when I act they way, he can't help but get wrapped up in it too.

 

[sarahtar]

I usually answer these things with questions ("What do you think?") or avoidance ("I'm not sure...") or just simply not answering (a shrug and a smile). That said, if asked point-blank, I am honest. (But we're a family that doesn't do Santa or the Easter Bunny - the kids know about the real St Nicholas and that it's a fun tradition to dress up like Santa in his honor, but everyone pretends it's real because that's part of the fun, it's like a big joke that everyone has to participate in... so they don't ruin it for others. Until the time my oldest told his cousin "you do know the real santa is dead, right?" Err...)

Anyway. I don't want to ruin their magic, but I'm not going to lie about it, either, so I try to take my cues from them. It should make our hopefully upcoming trip interesting, since DD (5) has steadfastly answered me that princesses aren't real, they're just on TV every single time I've asked her if she'd like to meet Rapunzel. I'm guessing we'll end up agreeing that it's just a person dressed up like Rapunzel, but that that will still be very magical for her.

 

[quakechicago]

Our DD (now 3) is very sound sensitive and afraid of some characters (deep, angry, gruff voices like the Beast, Hook, Donald, Ursula, and for some reason the newer Mickey voice completely rattles her cage), so from the beginning on our trip in February (she was 2) I told her that it was people in costumes.

I don't like to lie to her and it is pretty special to be selected to be a CM so we talked about that. A lot. We also watched a ton of youtube meet and greets and the difference between face and nonface characters.

But what went well like magic? The autograph books. I bought a character encyclopedia with pictures and DD got SO into the signatures and that lead into really being into meeting the characters. It went incredible so we bought 2 different books for this trip.

And the princesses were amazing. By the beginning of the first day, all her fears were set aside and she was concentrating on the meetings, the magic, and autographs.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I have two boys, 7 and 22. Neither one EVER believed that any of the characters were real. They both gave up belief in Santa by kindergarten, and neither ever believed in the tooth fairy or the easter bunny. Now, those boys have had MANY magical trips to WDW. They have done and loved lots of character meals and we have precious pictures of them smiling and hugging those characters they love. Santa comes to the little guy every year. We bake Santa's favorite cookies and make deer food to sprinkle on the yard. There is snow tracked in by Santa's boots and he always gets something that he never in a million years thought we would buy. The Bunny and Tooth Fairy get similar treatment. They knew, but it did not matter. They are just the kind of kids that would not buy into that stuff, and Im the kind of mom that will not lie to them when they ask. Sure, I did a bit of what do you think, and it's Disney magic, but bottom line is, when they ask me straight out, they know and I wont lie about it. The little guy knows there are kids at WDW that really believe that Mickey Mouse is a real mouse and while that seems silly to him, he knows to not know talk about it in front of other kids...same for Santa. Just find what you are comfortable with, but know it does not have to make the trip any less magical.

 

[njmeisje]

I believe when your kids as you "Is So-and-So real", it's a really good sign of your child's reasoning ability and maturing process. They are internally aware and looking for your confirmation of their judgments. Be their sounding board at every age. Always ground your children in reality. And then confirm that "make believe" and "magic" is fun -- and life wouldn't be worth living without fun!

Best to you
Diane

 

[Wishing4magic]

I know how you feel on this. My DD who just turned 5 recently told me that she knew that characters were not real. I tried to get her to believe without actually lying to her. I said really? why do you think that? Her response was "Mommy they have puffy heads and they don't talk or move their eyes, I know there are people inside there". I was so sad because I still want her to believe. However, she then told me only the Princesses are real and only at Disney World. I was happy that at least we could still have fun with that for a little while longer. If she questions if the princesses are real I think we will just talk about Disney being a magical and fun place where its fun to believe. Hopefully your girls will be so swept away by the magic of being at Disney that it won't even matter.

 

[MandiC]

My girls were 7 and 9 on our trip so they *knew* none of the characters were 'real', that didn't stop them from wanting to meet every one and from being so awe-struck talking to their favorite princesses. So while it may be disappointing that they are losing some of that innocence, it won't make your trip any less magical

 

[Suzie13]

Hmm this makes me think about my childhood a little. I don't ever remember a stage where I stopped believing the characters were real. I guess I was just a child who didn't ask to many questions because at 6 I still believed they were real. Saying that if your kid does ask them what they think? It's up to them to decide.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I think it's best to just go along at the kids' speed on these things. Don't try to convince them of anything. Let them make the observations and ask the questions. For example, "Mom, isn't that just a girl in an Aerial costume? It's not really Aerial, right?" "Well, what do you think?" "I think it's just a costume." "But isn't it fun to talk to her and take a picture with her?" Be non-committal, but don't try change their minds.

 

[amyren]

awww... it is sad when they stop believing. DD started asking me if characters were real when she was almost 4. We'd taken a trip to Disneyland Paris and she was shocked that Mickey spoke french in the shows. I asked her if she thought they were real and she decided they must be robots so we went with that for a while. She's 6.5 now and knows that they are just people but she still loves to meet them & have her picture taken. Heck I like to meet them too so as long as DH & I act interested or excited about it I think she'll be into it.

 

[crazedprincess]

Hmmm... I can't help too much here because all 4 of us, in my family, believe everything in Disney is REAL!