SO - did you/would you get a pre-nup?

[amberpi]

Give me your experiences!

 

[Liberty Belle]

No, we don't live that kind of lifestyle and certainly didn't when we got engaged.

I don't think we would have even if one of us had a lot of money back then. Just really wasn't our style. We were very "together" from the beginning.

 

[amberpi]

No, we don't live that kind of lifestyle and certainly didn't when we got engaged.

I don't think we would have even if one of us had a lot of money back then. Just really wasn't our style. We were very "together" from the beginning.

You can be together and still wanna preserve assets I get what you're saying, but it could be a lot of risk.

 

[Liberty Belle]

You can be together and still wanna preserve assets I get what you're saying, but it could be a lot of risk.

I agree, but we were pretty young emotionally (we were 25, but...) and were absolutely convinced we would never divorce. I still am, btw, after 25 years of marriage. I've only been married once, so I have nothing to compare it to, but I have had more than one friend tell us at the beginning that they knew our marriage would last because of how our relationship was. Again, nothing to compare it to and they could have been blowing smoke, but so far so good!

 

[Mizzoufan]

You can be together and still wanna preserve assets I get what you're saying, but it could be a lot of risk.

I could never ever marry someone that I thought for one second was that type of person if someone even brought that up to me I think that would be the end of our relationship.

 

[Aladora]

When DH and I told my mother we were engaged, she said the following 3 things that she wanted me to do.
1. Get a pre-nup
2. Keep my maiden name
3. Get married in a synagogue.

0/3

 

[amberpi]

I could never ever marry someone that I thought for one second was that type of person.

People change and are crazy, or you get the bad/good end of the stick...ya know? I hope you aren't suggesting that other people who haven't had the success you've been fortunate enough to enjoy are lesser. I'm sure you aren't, because it happens everyday.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

No and no.

 

[mamamary]

I could not imagine having gotten one - we're married since '89. Now I could not imagine my sister getting one either and after 15 years he wanted a divorce out of the blue. It was a horrible, nasty divorce. Swear it took about 2 years too. If they had a pre-nup don't know how much it would have changed things. He fought her on everything.

 

[lorimay]

No prenup here....married 31 years next month.
Neither of our kids have them either.

 

[soccerdad72]

No - like others, we were married pretty young (25) and had few assets to worry about at the time.

 

[tink89]

I did not get a pre nup as we were both young and broke. Had a small wedding. been married 7 years now together for 12 and our life and finances are much better but would still not consider a pre nup.

I'll leave that to the people who come from a ton of money or want to protect the family assets.

One thing i have heard is that the person you marry will not be the person you divorce so it has nothing to do with the type of person they are at the time of marriage

 

[DebbieB]

My aunt got one when she remarried. She was a widow with an adult son, he was a widower with adult children. They wanted to protect their children's inheritances. Only lasted a year, they went their separate ways. Funny thing is after they divorced, my aunt went back to considering herself a widow. Never legally changed her name.

 

[Diznotyzed]

Nope, we were young and used the money it would have taken on food instead.

 

[rigs32]

My aunt got one when she remarried. She was a widow with an adult son, he was a widower with adult children. They wanted to protect their children's inheritances. Only lasted a year, they went their separate ways. Funny thing is after they divorced, my aunt went back to considering herself a widow. Never legally changed her name.

I think people like your aunt are in a completely different place than 23 year olds struggling to get by when it comes to this and it's not fair to judge the choices of one compared to the choices of another.

At 23, there's often nothing much to protect. At middle age with real estate, retirement accounts, pensions, etc, it's a whole different ballgame when it comes to the legal ramifications of marriage. I own my own home, have regular and retirement savings, and am halfway towards earning a comfortable pension. If I chose to marry and my spouse-to-be balked at allowing me to protect those assets I've worked to acquire before he even came into the picture, then that's not a relationship *I* want any part of. A nasty divorce could lead to the quick dismantling of all that I've worked for.

 

[Minnesota!]

No and No.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I'm another who didn't. We were 26 and really didn't have anything to protect, so it never crossed our minds. But even if there had been money, it would have felt to me like going into the marriage assuming it was going to end, and that's not what I wanted.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Marriage one - neither had assets to protect. I had a small RRSP at work (similar to a 401) but it wasn't worth getting a prenup over.
Current marriage I did have equity in a home and a pension but that is protected under law. Now after 20 years and a new home I'm not sure how that even would be calculated. I wouldn't be concerned with it really.

Now if I was to remarry again (God forbid!) I would get a prenup to protect my assets and ensure they go to my children if I died.

 

[bethy]

I'm another who didn't. We were 26 and really didn't have anything to protect, so it never crossed our minds. But even if there had been money, it would have felt to me like going into the marriage assuming it was going to end, and that's not what I wanted.

Yes, I think I'm in the boat that if my DH had wanted one I probably would not have married him.

For me, the strongest marriages are built on faith, imo and a prenup shows a lack of faith (IMHO). Faith is a risk but taking that risk with someone you love and having that faith can contribute to a strong marriage.

 

[RedAngie]

Yep. Second marriage (for both of us), we got pre-nups. I've mentioned before that this marriage was more of a business arrangement than a true love affair. (Tax, health care, and other legal reasons.)

First marriage we didn't have one, but I did very well financially in the divorce since he's the one who wanted out quickly.

Kept my birth name both times.