So...am I a cheap you know what?

[MsLeFever]

I started a new job in September. Someone from my department is retiring this month. I think that I met this guy once at a meeting in the fall - or at least he was at a meeting that I also attended. I couldn't pick him out of a line-up.

So.....today the secretary asks me for a twenty dollars towards his retirement present! I just about choked! While I'm not poor, 20 bucks is about what I'd spend on a close friend at Christmastime and I don't know this man at all. I just sorta stammered and said - oh I don't have that on me right now.

I wish that I'd just said - here's five bucks, that's all I can afford. I'm planning on doing that on Monday.

so....am I a cheap you know what? Or is 20 bucks a bit steep to ask from everyone in a dept (of about 15)? Or is 20 bucks fine but not for me because I don't know him?

(It'd be great if everyone agrees with me but I'm willing to read whatever you are willing to type!)

 

[mcnuss]

Nope, you're not cheap at all. I wouldn't give anything towards a gift to someone I don't know.

 

[Marseeya]

$20 is definitely too expensive for a group present. What on earth is she getting him, a car?

 

[Bob Slydell]

$20 sounds pretty steep. I did a similar thing the other day when they were collecting for a going away gift for someone in the office I barely knew as well (mind you, he was leaving for a much better job ).

 

[nativetxn]

If I didn't know this person I wouldn't contribute anything. I don't think you are being cheap.

Katholyn

 

[horseshowmom]

I started a new job in September. Someone from my department is retiring this month. I think that I met this guy once at a meeting in the fall - or at least he was at a meeting that I also attended. I couldn't pick him out of a line-up.

So.....today the secretary asks me for a twenty dollars towards his retirement present! I just about choked! While I'm not poor, 20 bucks is about what I'd spend on a close friend at Christmastime and I don't know this man at all. I just sorta stammered and said - oh I don't have that on me right now.

I wish that I'd just said - here's five bucks, that's all I can afford. I'm planning on doing that on Monday.

so....am I a cheap you know what? Or is 20 bucks a bit steep to ask from everyone in a dept (of about 15)? Or is 20 bucks fine but not for me because I don't know him?

(It'd be great if everyone agrees with me but I'm willing to read whatever you are willing to type!)

I tend to agree with you. I really think that gift giving (including Christmas) has gotten out of control. A department of 15 could easily have a nice potluck dinner (or just snacks for a reception) and take up a smaller amount ($5 is plenty) for a gift. I don't think you're cheap. Too many people are living off of credit cards these days because of things that they think they "have" to have or buy.

 

[anewvance]

I would just put the $5 in an envelope and give it to the person collecting it. Put a note inside saying you wish him well on his retirement and leave it at that. They will probably just put your name on the card and not say anything else.

 

[ilovepcot]

If (when) the secretary approaches you again, smile your most dazzling smile and say, "I don't even know the man you're talking about but I certainly do wish him well." And walk away, still smiling.

 

[stinkerbelle]

the only time i chipped in $20 was at a baby shower for twins.
I figured $10 a baby. heheh

$5 is PLENTY.

 

[PlaneJoy1]

$20 - no way!

Often people pick (and buy!) the gift and then figure out how much each person owes. This is wrong! No one should have to give a certain amount, especially for someone you don't know.

 

[mommaU4]

If (when) the secretary approaches you again, smile your most dazzling smile and say, "I don't even know the man you're talking about but I certainly do wish him well." And walk away, still smiling.

 

[RitaZ.]

I think your employer is being cheap. They should be the ones paying for the gift.

 

[zagafi]

I think $5 is fine. You don't know the man!

 

[ducklite]

Where I used to work we had a great system. The unit admin would send out an e-mail announcing someone's retirement/baby/marriage/illness and say there was a card in her office for anyone who would like to sign it, and that donations were being accepted if you wanted to pitch in. That way if you knew the person you could sign, if you didn't you took no action, and if you wanted to put in some cash the amount was entirely up to you. Took all the pressure off.

I think $20 is too much for someone you don't even know. I would simply say that you aren't even aware of who this person is, but that you'll be happy to contribute when it's someone you know in the future.

Anne

 

[SC Minnie]

I think your employer is being cheap. They should be the ones paying for the gift.

Why should the office personnel be chipping in for a gift?????

 

[tmt martins]

I can't stand that either .It's we're throwing a dinner for SUCH&SUCH they're retiring.

They should be paying me or taking me to dinner because now I 'm going to have to do their job as well as my own.

I just refuse and tell them so .Now some at my work i would go out with but on my own timw not as a work function.

 

[almacdonald]

I wouldn't contribute $20 to an office gift pool no matter how well i knew the person. That's a lot of money. I was once asked to contribute $10 for a group wedding gift and kicked myself for the rest of the day cause i caved in. (I wasn't invited to any party/shower or anything like that though some girls at work were.) Why should i have contributed to her ridiculously overpriced coffee maker?

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Honestly? I would gladly give the $20 and hope that someday someone is as generous to you when you retire!

 

[goodeats]

I started working in a big company (i.e. household name company) last year. My first month there 'Mary' retired, and there was a big catered luncheon and gifts and everything ... to the tune of $37 a head! At first I balked and said no way. But then the ladies sitting around me started saying "oh there'll be baby showers for you in the future" (I'm newly married) and "this is how it's done here" and one of them even called me cheap! This lady wasn't even in my department, but she did sit by me. Finally I relinquished and just paid the money just so I could be 'social' and not be labeled the 'cheapy'. I think the retiree walked away with $1,000 in cash! Baby showers are the same way too, but not nearly as expensive.

I still refuse to buy from the school fundraisers!

 

[DVC Jen]

I also think 20 is a bit high. You don't even know this person. It would be different if it were someone you had worked well with for a long time.