Snowflake question

[mickaholic4077]

NOw being the mean auntie that I am, later when everyone else is enjoying the cake, I'd be telling Snowy that you are all glad she doesn't like lemon cake because it means there's more for the rest of you.

See why God didn't give me children?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

NOw being the mean auntie that I am, later when everyone else is enjoying the cake, I'd be telling Snowy that you are all glad she doesn't like lemon cake because it means there's more for the rest of you.

See why God didn't give me children?

Well, I'm the mom and I am tempted to do that a

anyway.

The good news is, my children have learned that ancient word, "no", so she was fine at Walmart. But I did tease her about licking leftover batter.

I cannot say I've ever met a true snowflake. I must not get out much.

 

[eliza61]

I thought I understood. Now, I think I am confused. To me, no one is more special to me than my child (with the rest of my family all running a very close second). Shouldn't your child be the most special to "you?"
I get the whole--don't treat them like a princess all the time, or they might actually begin to believe they are one, and don't spoil your kids, and don't let your kids control you or the situation.. I get it. But shouldn't your child be more special to you than other people's special children. (Note.. I am not saying to treat other children badly, just that it would be natural, I think, to view your child as the most special?



I think I am just going to avoid this term and stick w/spoiled rotten brat where it fits in a conversation

We use it a lot that and tissue babies.

It's not only that you think your child is special, it's that you think your child is sooo special that he/she is never wrong and above the rules of the rest of us mere mortals. See the difference?
I think my children are special. I do not think they are without fault and while I love my kids they are expect to follow the rules just like every one else.

A tissue child is a child of what we call helicopter parents. One criticism and the crumble like a "tissue"
My example of that is a 17 year old young lady who brought her mother into see me because a college professor had the nerve to mark up her very lousy paper in red ink, thus hurting her tender feelings. Her mother actually said that to me. She went on to explain that Christine was perhaps a little more sensitive than other college freshman and perhaps her professors were not aware of how talented she really was.

I went onto explain that our University was extremely aware of the fine students we have and we reward them with college degress at the end of 4 years of exhibiting their talent.

So basically a "Tissue" kid has be shielded for what ever reason their entire life from any type of disappointment so when they enter the real world (unfortunately I get todeal with them) they absolutely have no skills what so ever to deal.

I generally get mad at the parents more so than the kids because like it or not the "snowflakes" and "tissue" kids of the world eventually have to join the general public and by the time they do, their behaviour is no longer cute and the general public does not have to tolerate them.

 

[eliza61]

NOw being the mean auntie that I am, later when everyone else is enjoying the cake, I'd be telling Snowy that you are all glad she doesn't like lemon cake because it means there's more for the rest of you.

See why God didn't give me children?

Actually DD it's the other way around, God should have given you children because you would been known by what we use to have when I grew up and that is a PARENT!!

a whole lot of problems could be solved if we stopped trying to be nice and started being responsible.

 

[Sparx]

"Snowflakes" are spoiled children (or adults sometimes!) who believe that the world revolves around them and nothing and no one are ever quite as special or unique as they are and they are the light of everyone else's life and we are lucky to be graced with their presence. I'm pretty sure all of us know at least one.

I believe the phrase originated from the book Fight Club where the main character makes the members of Project Mayhem chant, "I am not a beautiful and unique snowflake!" signifying that they were not individuals, just part of the group.

 

[walden]

Sorry, I do not think it is a myth. Some parents do want to think of their children as *snowflakes.* I agree with the above definition. The kids do not always appreciate it. Most kids just want to blend in with the crowd, believe it or not.

The parent who insists that their child is an extraspecial snowflake seems almost inevitably to grow up to be a helicopter or lawn mower parent. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent



Honestly, I deal more with helicopters and lawnmowers these days than I do with true under-age snowflakes. 90% of college age *reluctant* snowflakes are desperately trying not to be mown down by the lawnmower and helicopter and achieve some kind of autonomy and adulthood. The 10% compliant snowflakes who want Mama or Daddy to solve all his/her problems well into their twenties will never amount to anything much. IMO.

It is sad. I wish people would get a grip and stop over-parenting. If your child has been decently parented to the age of 18, he or she should be able to cope with college without Mama or Papa butting in.

Just saying.

 

[JerseyJanice]

Sorry, I do not think it is a myth. Some parents do want to think of their children as *snowflakes.* I agree with the above definition. The kids do not always appreciate it.

My point is that the phrase is being thrown around the internet as if it were some new phenomena because too many parents of my generation are delusional. Or spoil their kids too much. Or whatever--the implication is out there that most of the people in my generation are incompetent at parenting.

Well, sorry, but I just don't buy that. I genuinely believe I am a spectacular mother and feel that my close friends and family members are too.

 

[NHdisneylover]

My point is that the phrase is being thrown around the internet as if it were some new phenomena because too many parents of my generation are delusional. Or spoil their kids too much. Or whatever--the implication is out there that most of the people in my generation are incompetent at parenting.

Well, sorry, but I just don't buy that. I genuinely believe I am a spectacular mother and feel that my close friends and family members are too.

I don't think most people in our generation our bad parents AT ALL. However, I DO think there are more "snowflakes" and more overly sheltered (and thus incompetent/irresponsible as they grow older) children out there now than there used to be. So, I for one, do not feel it is a myth that this is a problem. For many (still a minority but many none the less) the definition of good parentings has changed to mean protecting the child as much as possible from ALL hurt, disapiontment and perceived dangers of any kind--which leads to being a snowflake.

 

[eliza61]

My point is that the phrase is being thrown around the internet as if it were some new phenomena because too many parents of my generation are delusional. Or spoil their kids too much. Or whatever--the implication is out there that most of the people in my generation are incompetent at parenting.

Well, sorry, but I just don't buy that. I genuinely believe I am a spectacular mother and feel that my close friends and family members are too.

But I do think it's a relatively new phenomenon (sp?). Sorry I just see a HUGE different from children born and raised pre 1970 and today. I don't think anyone is saying that all new parents are bad, not at all simply that today's kids are a lot more issues and they are rearing their ugly heads.

Look at it this way, the phenomenon must be pretty routine because it's starting to become commonly used. Believe me, it's not a myth. people are not making up these little darlin's

 

[palmtreelover08]

Helicopter and Lawnmower parents???? I am completely out of touch with the new lingo. I am just glad I figured out the texting shorts like (lol, ***, lmao, k).

 

[OceanAnnie]

Helicopter and Lawnmower parents???? I am completely out of touch with the new lingo. I am just glad I figured out the texting shorts like (lol, ***, lmao, k).

Don't feel bad. I haven't heard of "lawnmower" parents or a few other terms on this thread, even from reading on the DIS.

 

[powellrj]

I had to google lawnmower parents! We had an experience last year with a black hawk mom. What I think was amazing,was I think we were the first people who had ever stood-up to little snowy and she couldn't get past the fact that no, we didn't think her DD was perfect and rules didn't apply to her. When the dust settled, snowy had to admit that if mom had stayed out of it, they could have worked the problem out, but when mom got involved, it went downhill very fast.

 

[susykt4]

I encountered a snowflake at my son's tee-ball game. Tee-ball is a chaotic mess of every kid running for every hit ball and each inning consisting of every kid hitting and taking one base. It's a bunch of 5 and 6 year olds having fun playing ball with no score, no outs, etc. The parents sit in their camp chairs and laugh at the chaos.

The opposing team had one of "those" moms who was screaming constant instruction at her beloved little Joey. Keep your eye on the ball, Joey. Just constant hollering at the poor kid. Joey finally had a ball hit to him and rather than throwing it to first, he threw it at the runner. The parents had a good-natured chuckle while Mom SCREAMED at Joey that he should have thrown to first!!!! Joey burst into tears and ran from the field. The COACH's WIFE had to comfort Joey because his mom was now screaming at all the parents for laughing at her sensitive child and making him cry. She just kept coming back and chewing us out, over and over. Um, crazy mom, I'm pretty sure he didn't notice the quiet laughter but noticed YOU screaming at him. The kid was only 5. Then he probably thought all the adults were laughing AT HIM rather than laughing at the silly game of tee-ball.

 

[Ricky's Girl]

Snowflakes, lawnmowers and helicopters. You learn something new everyday!
Thanks everyone for advancing this old gals education. lol

 

[DWGal210]

I have an aunt in her late 40s who was a "snowflake" as a child - and it's not a pretty sight. The sad thing is that she is now raising her kids the same way.. I do feel bad for them, but not much I can do about it.

 

[LiberalPrincess]

But I do think it's a relatively new phenomenon (sp?). Sorry I just see a HUGE different from children born and raised pre 1970 and today. I don't think anyone is saying that all new parents are bad, not at all simply that today's kids are a lot more issues and they are rearing their ugly heads.

Look at it this way, the phenomenon must be pretty routine because it's starting to become commonly used. Believe me, it's not a myth. people are not making up these little darlin's

I totally agree that it is relatively new. Think about it, when did it begin that every child had to get an award and many games have no winners so as to protect the feelings of the losers? When were teachers told that they should no longer use red pens to correct papers so as to spare the children's feelings when they got things wrong? Now, I see it slowly leaking into college with parents talking to their children's professors. I can tell you it certainly wasn't like that for me growing up (I am in my 30s), and I think the over-protection of snowflakes is setting them up for failure when they hit the real world where life just doesn't work that way.

Look at some of the topics we see here (paraphrasing): "I know the age limit for American Idol Experience is 14, but my 8 year old is a great singer, can she get an exception?" How many parents of younger kids think their kids have talent? Doesn't mean the rules don't apply to their special snowflakes as well as everyone else's. Or, how about, "Snowy only eats one kind of peanut butter, so although we want to go to a nice restaurant, can we bring in our own food although it is against the rules?". Or, "I was invited to a wedding, but no children are allowed, so I will stay home from something important to me so my 5 year old's feelings won't be hurt". Or, "Snowy was being a teeny bit loud in a restaurant, but some mean nasty lady had the nerve to ask her to quiet down. Sure, Snowy was shrieking at the top of her lungs, but she is sensitive!" Really? Exactly who is the parent in some cases? Who is running the show?

Or how about the news stories about kids who didn't make the hockey/cheerleading/soccer teams, so the parents sued. It seems like the stories grow in craziness every week.

There have always been spoiled kids, however the general sense of entitlement that seems to be increasing with each school class is disturbing, as is the justification by parents for bad behavior. And I find it is largely the parents to blame. Again, this is not ALL parents, but the prevalence of the entitled attitude seems to be growing.

 

[eliza61]

LOL. My favorite scene from the Incredibles

HELEN: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.

BOB : It's not a graduation. He's moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade

HELEN : It's a ceremony

BOB : It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity but if someone is genuinely exceptional...

That's what we are doing, we continually reward our kids for mediocrity. we set the bar for acceptable behaviour lower and lower. We find excuses (disabled, misunderstood, sensitive) and then act all shocked and shaken when we the turn out to be young adults with the same traits.

 

[dislaney]

LOL. My favorite scene from the Incredibles

HELEN: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.

BOB : It's not a graduation. He's moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade

HELEN : It's a ceremony

BOB : It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity but if someone is genuinely exceptional...

That's what we are doing, we continually reward our kids for mediocrity. we set the bar for acceptable behaviour lower and lower. We find excuses (disabled, misunderstood, sensitive) and then act all shocked and shaken when we the turn out to be young adults with the same traits.

How true!

 

[sturdypeasantstock]

Do you know what it is like to be a person with a disability? Do you know how much harder they have to work than the general population? I don't see parents of disabled children (of which I am one) making excuses for them. Nor do I see disabled people making excuses for themselves. Don't lump disabled kids in with spoiled kids! All the spoiled kids I know are not disabled!

 

[sturdypeasantstock]

If you want to talk about helicopter parents with snowflakes, I have a story for you. There was a woman who had three snowys. Each of my kids had one of the snowys in their respective classes at school. My DS (disabled)was in a club and was partnered with one of the snowys (the children were partnered according to height) and snowy was so mean to my DS that he didn't want to be in the club anymore. The mother was at the school every day, complaining that little snowy got only a 99 on a test when she should have gotten 100. DD liked little snowy and invited her to her birthday party. When the mother picked little snowy up, she complained about my house and how "out of the way" it was from everything. (sorry, we couldn't afford to live in her section of town). It was constant bragging about how wonderful her little snowys were and she was always putting down my kids.

I realize that my DS will always be "behind" other kids. I just don't need people like this woman rubbing it in my face. I would have been thrilled if DS brought home an 89, let alone a 99. I would give anything to just have him be NT and not have to struggle all his life.