Snowflake children

[golfgal]

My 42year old brother who doesn't work and lives with my mother and doesn't contribute a dime, falls in this category as well. Babied, enabled, whatever the term, by my mother and my mother alone. What term is used for the parents of such snowflakes? Is there one?

Enabler

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

Enabler

 

[simba20]

Here's the thing....snowflake is one of those "in your head" 'Keep it to yourself" kind of words. Nobody in polite conversation would say "Now Kathy, your little snowflake is absolutely adorable" or even "Mitzy thinks she has a special snowflake doesn't she?"

It's just one of those things you think in your head, kind of like brat, or when you see a child misbehave in Target and think "If that were my child...."

It's not an everyday use in polite company kind of term.

And yes, the term more reflects upon the behavior of the parents. I frequent a few parenting groups. One day we will have a question about how to transition a child from a crib to a toddler bed and then the next day another crib to bed transition question will pop up, but the poster truly believes that their question is different because their child is a boy/is using a regular twin bed not a toddler bed/goes to bed at 7 p.m./whatever else slight difference that doesn't change the suggestions given the day before......

Oh wait, that happens on here are well. Yes, even the DIS has it's own "speshul-snowflakes."

Can we get a snowflake smiley/icon around here?

 

[NMAmy]

oh great. And THANK YOU Amy for putting THAT image into my head : A bunch of 50 y/o's thinking they should get paid just because they showed up for work.

You're welcome, Carly. I'll be long gone by that time!

 

[jenseib]

Why do you think it's offensive? Do you think that there are some children who are more important or more special than other children?

I guess I don't understand your question? Why do I think it's offensive because it is attacking a child or an adult, which is against the Dis rules. I certainly don't think my children or anyone elses child is any more special. Of course I love my children. But don't have any time to do any extra looking out for them, like it appears snowflake parents do. My son who is 21, was a winer, and actually asked me to call schools, etc when he was a kid, and I told him to suck it up and work it out. If he had a problem, HE, himself should talk to the teacher, but it wasn't my place. Now of course if it was a really serious issue, I would've went, but they were dumb, every day issues, and he was a winer.


As a parent we all think our own children are special. I also think I have the 3 best looking kids in the world. LOL! But so does every parent.

Sorry, but wanting "snowflake" to be banned just because you don't like it is pretty snowflakey! The DIS just cracks me up sometimes.

Well I'm not saying I will protest it tiil it's banned, but if it is used as an attack word on children and or parents, then it's against the Dis Rules. You can get warnings for "personally attacking" people on Dis. I have personally seen warnings given to fellow disers for calling someone something less offensive. It has nothing to do with if I like the word or not. I just know you are not allowed to personally attack anyone on Dis. So if you tell someone they are a snowflake parent, or there child is a snowflake, you are insulting them, which means a persoanl attack. If the person reports the post, you can guaranttee that the post will be deleted, and you will possibly get a warning.
It might depend on which board you are on...some moderators are more strict than others.

And the way you are using the word, really still makes me unsure of the meaning.

I think the OP's question has been answered.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I do not see it as any more offensive than bratty, spoiled, demanding, etc. I really do not understand wanting it banned.

To me it basically means that the parents of a snowflake treat the child in such a way as to encourage the child to grow up thinking s/he is more important/better/smarter/prettier/etc than others. Basically taking self esteem waaaay to far and encouraging conceit.

 

[mickeysgal]

Enabler

Yes, we've all been clear with her that she's an Enabler. Snowflake Preserver is probably more appropriate when the snowflake child hits 40+.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I guess I don't understand your question? Why do I think it's offensive because it is attacking a child or an adult, which is against the Dis rules. I certainly don't think my children or anyone elses child is any more special. Of course I love my children. But don't have any time to do any extra looking out for them, like it appears snowflake parents do. My son who is 21, was a winer, and actually asked me to call schools, etc when he was a kid, and I told him to suck it up and work it out. If he had a problem, HE, himself should talk to the teacher, but it wasn't my place. Now of course if it was a really serious issue, I would've went, but they were dumb, every day issues, and he was a winer.


As a parent we all think our own children are special. I also think I have the 3 best looking kids in the world. LOL! But so does every parent.



Well I'm not saying I will protest it tiil it's banned, but if it is used as an attack word on children and or parents, then it's against the Dis Rules. You can get warnings for "personally attacking" people on Dis. I have personally seen warnings given to fellow disers for calling someone something less offensive. It has nothing to do with if I like the word or not. I just know you are not allowed to personally attack anyone on Dis. So if you tell someone they are a snowflake parent, or there child is a snowflake, you are insulting them, which means a persoanl attack. If the person reports the post, you can guaranttee that the post will be deleted, and you will possibly get a warning.
It might depend on which board you are on...some moderators are more strict than others.

And the way you are using the word, really still makes me unsure of the meaning.

I think the OP's question has been answered.

I understand you being upset because you we attacked. That person should get points for the personal attack. But to ban it overall is too much I think (and an overreaction), we should be allowed to think someone (who is either not defined, or doesn't belong to the DIS) is a snowflake, stupid, idiot, arrogant, teacup, lawnmower parent, etc.

If we weren't allowed to say anything negative about anyone (who is not defined or isn't a DIS member) then there wouldn't be a lot of threads on the DIS, especially in the CB. No venting about MILs, no being angry when the wrong Survivor wins, no dislike over Twilight, not talking about this DWTS season's wacky casting, etc.

There's a difference between being moderated and being dictated. If "snowflake" was banned entirely, we're getting much closer to being dictated.

But I'm sorry your child being called a snowflake affected you so much. & so that hopefully you can let it roll off your skin.

 

[KathyTX]

We won't be banning the word "snowflake."

 

[jenseib]

I understand you being upset because you we attacked. That person should get points for the personal attack. But to ban it overall is too much I think (and an overreaction), we should be allowed to think someone (who is either not defined, or doesn't belong to the DIS) is a snowflake, stupid, idiot, arrogant, teacup, lawnmower parent, etc.

If we weren't allowed to say anything negative about anyone (who is not defined or isn't a DIS member) then there wouldn't be a lot of threads on the DIS, especially in the CB. No venting about MILs, no being angry when the wrong Survivor wins, no dislike over Twilight, not talking about this DWTS season's wacky casting, etc.

There's a difference between being moderated and being dictated. If "snowflake" was banned entirely, we're getting much closer to being dictated.

But I'm sorry your child being called a snowflake affected you so much. & so that hopefully you can let it roll off your skin.

I do agree with you. That makes perfect sense!

 

[Daisy&Max]

I call my own children snowflakes when they think they should have or be given things that I don't agree with. I'll say, "No you are not a snowflake and you don't get what you want." They want to know what it meant the first time and I told them that it meant they thought they were more special than any other kid around and that they're not. So I'm glad it won't be banned from here.

Daisy

 

[Tiger926]

No, no snowflakes here. I just don't like most snide and derisive words, especially when they describe children.

Exactly! My kids are no more special than anyone else, and they have been raised to know this, plus, I am a parent who always assumes my kids are guilty. I can't stand this term, and am so sick of constantly reading it on the boards, as well as the other terms constantly thrown around on here. Talk about overuse...

I am probably missing out on some good threads, but once I see that word, I close the thread. The only reason I opened this thread, was because I am interested in the terminology of the word, and wanted to see if there were others like me who cannot stand the word as its used on the boards.

I hope it doesn't become widely used, as right now, you cannot find this definition on Wikipedia, and if you Google it, you will find the terminology refers to frozen embryos.

Tiger

 

[Acklander]

I hope it doesn't become widely used, as right now, you cannot find this definition on Wikipedia, and if you Google it, you will find the terminology refers to frozen embryos.

Tiger

DS10 started out as a frozen embryo. On the fertility boards we called them tot-cicles, not snow flakes.

 

[Scurvy]

Exactly! My kids are no more special than anyone else, and they have been raised to know this, plus, I am a parent who always assumes my kids are guilty. I can't stand this term, and am so sick of constantly reading it on the boards, as well as the other terms constantly thrown around on here. Talk about overuse...

I am probably missing out on some good threads, but once I see that word, I close the thread. The only reason I opened this thread, was because I am interested in the terminology of the word, and wanted to see if there were others like me who cannot stand the word as its used on the boards.

I hope it doesn't become widely used, as right now, you cannot find this definition on Wikipedia, and if you Google it, you will find the terminology refers to frozen embryos.

Tiger

It definitely shows up if you Google "Special snowflake" or "special snowflake syndrome", though neither one appears to be on Wikipedia yet. There are several definitions, though most of them refer to anyone who thinks they are more special and unique than everyone else, not just children. Most people I know do use it in that way, and don't reserve it just for kids.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

The funny thing is that if it weren't for the way it's used here, I'd think that snowflake is an awesome analogy for how I think of my child.

I, like all parents, know my child well. I see him up close and personal, and can wonder at all the miraculous ways in which he's unique. He's different from every other kid out there, and there's no one else just like him anywhere.

And at the same time, like a snowflake, when you pull back and look at him through a lens other than the microscope of parenting, he's pretty much the same -- a relatively bright, friendly, kid with a great sense of humor.

I can wonder at individual snowflakes, maybe catch them on my finger tip with a dark glove on, or go out at night with a flashlight and watch them fall, and still get up in the morning, load them on my shovel, and throw them into the street. I understand that it all depends on the lens, the degree of distance (one emotional, one physical) between you and the snowflake (human or otherwise).

I'm pretty far from a helicopter parent, I'm more the benign neglect variety if you had to categorize me. That doesn't mean that I don't think my kid is amazing and special and unique and pretty darn perfect. I just realize that 1) society is using a different lens and 2) he can be wonderful, and funny and perfect and also confident and sensible and responsible for himelf.

 

[Tiger926]

DS10 started out as a frozen embryo. On the fertility boards we called them tot-cicles, not snow flakes.

Here is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowflake_children

It definitely shows up if you Google "Special snowflake" or "special snowflake syndrome", though neither one appears to be on Wikipedia yet. There are several definitions, though most of them refer to anyone who thinks they are more special and unique than everyone else, not just children. Most people I know do use it in that way, and don't reserve it just for kids.

I did find it on the Urban Dictionary, but I never would have searched under 'special.' It's definitely not showing on Wikipedia...not that Wikipedia is the end all be all, but I would think that if it were popular, it would have been entered on there by this point. You are right, that the Urban dictionary desginates it as anyone who thinks they are more special, and not just children. I know no one who uses this word...we certainly don't use it to refer to our students either. The one and only place I have seen it, is here.

Tiger

 

[Liberty Belle]

The irony is that we are talking about the term "snowflake" and how it refers to "special" children yet you don't like that the term is used with children. It's a lot nicer then calling kids brats I think.

I don't see the irony. I don't like derisive comments made about any children, not just a select few.

 

[mom2rtk]

I actually think that many who get wrapped up in criticizing parents of so called "snowflakes" are in reality poor parents themselves, only trying to make themselves feel better for neglecting their own children. You know..... "my, what a good parent I am........ I don't make my child feel special, I don't make them feel loved, I get to focus exclusively on myself...... I don't get them a stroller........ I make them walk 6 miles at Disney........isn't this cool........"

In reality, nobody on an internet board like this knows ONE WHIT about how anybody else parents. And what people do at Disney (the topic of most discussions here) is not necessarily what they do on a daily basis. And to sit in judgement of others based on the tiny tidbits of information visible here is a reflection of THEM.......... not the parents of the so-called "snowflake"............

 

[handinpocket]

I actually think that many who get wrapped up in criticizing parents of so called "snowflakes" are in reality poor parents themselves, only trying to make themselves feel better for neglecting their own children. You know..... "my, what a good parent I am........ I don't make my child feel special, I don't make them feel loved, I get to focus exclusively on myself...... I don't get them a stroller........ I make them walk 6 miles at Disney........isn't this cool........"

In reality, nobody on an internet board like this knows ONE WHIT about how anybody else parents. And what people do at Disney (the topic of most discussions here) is not necessarily what they do on a daily basis. And to sit in judgement of others based on the tiny tidbits of information visible here is a reflection of THEM.......... not the parents of the so-called "snowflake"............

AMEN to that! I promise you (general you) are not a better parent because you make your child walk commando over the whole blessed WDW parks, you are not a better parent because you make your kid eat foods they don't want or like, you are not a better parent because you make your kids wait in a 3 hour line and if they have to pee....too damned bad.....they can HOLD it and you are not a better parent for living vicariously through your child and making them go to EVERY darn football or band practice over the summer because they signed up for that and there is no room for missing.

Whatever, I think they are just mean. My kids are gonna love the heck out of me because they are speshul little snowflakes and I'm a fun parent that loves them and I don't take life too seriously.

 

[Scurvy]

I actually think that many who get wrapped up in criticizing parents of so called "snowflakes" are in reality poor parents themselves, only trying to make themselves feel better for neglecting their own children. You know..... "my, what a good parent I am........ I don't make my child feel special, I don't make them feel loved, I get to focus exclusively on myself...... I don't get them a stroller........ I make them walk 6 miles at Disney........isn't this cool........"

In reality, nobody on an internet board like this knows ONE WHIT about how anybody else parents. And what people do at Disney (the topic of most discussions here) is not necessarily what they do on a daily basis. And to sit in judgement of others based on the tiny tidbits of information visible here is a reflection of THEM.......... not the parents of the so-called "snowflake"............

Well that's one way to look at it. I am sure that most people on here who talk about Snowflakes do like to take care of their own children and make them feel special and loved. They just don't have the expectation that other people will think the children are as special as they do, or that the world should revolve around their children. That's the real difference, in my experience. A typical example of Snowflakey behavior (in my opinion) would be if someone posted a rant about some mean old woman who had told her she should keep her child more quiet when the child was screaming in the grocery store and disturbing others. The poster would of course be terribly offended, and would feel that their perfect child should have every right to exercise her lungs in the store even if it disturbs everyone else. That's Snowflakey. It has nothing to do with loving your child more, or caring for them more, or even being a particularly good parent. It's feeling that your child is the most important person there is, and that the rest of the world should just accept that. At best it is inconsiderate to those around you, and at worst it creates a spoiled child who grows into an adult who doesn't realize that the world doesn't revolve around them.

But of course my child walks at least nine miles at Disney World, so maybe I'm not the best one to ask.