Slow down and enjoy the vacation ideas?

[NeedMoreMickey]

11/06/15 We are back from our 5 day/4night trip 10/25-10/29 and we had a wonderful time. First we were surprised when we were met at the bus the cast member informed us we were upgraded to Club Level. My husband loved it, didn't have to leave the floor for snacks or beverages. I think we only got on 4 rides, really 3 different because we rode Toy Story Mania twice. We wondered hand & hand around Epcot, HS, MK without any need to be someplace at a special time. Had 3 FP every day but only made it to the ride in time for 3 and it was ok, absolutely no pressure. A couple of nice breakfasts, a couple of nice dinners and a few adult beverages from the club level.
The best part of the trip happened yesterday. As I said originally my husband suffers from depression and I have a very extreme case of eczema that is treated with light therapy twice a week. My daily routine usually involves constantly putting on lotion and taking medicine for the itching. Well last night I told my husband that I felt better these last two weeks than I have in the last 18 months and he thought for a minute and said “So have I, must be the Disney magic.”
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I’m finally dragging my husband back to WDW in October, his last trip 2009. First - it’s not his favorite place to be and he is coming because he thinks he’s doing me a favor because I would be bored by myself even though I’ve told him it’s my dream for a solo Disney vacation. Second - he is suffering from extreme depression and with his meds he tends to sleep a lot. My job is to come up with a plan for four days that is a very calm, slow moving vacation that he will enjoy. I take a trip every March with my sister and now my niece where we hit 3 parks and the pool in one day so this trip I’m trying to think of things that just the opposite of go, go, go trip. Epcot is our favorite park so we are pretty much set with the shows in World Showcase and things like the Fountain of Nations. My real problem comes with trying to find spectator things in the other parks. He is making an effort, he offered to hold my things while I ride anything if he can wait/sit in the shade.

Any ideas?

 

[bc7ate9]

The shows - Nemo and Lion King - at Animal Kingdom are really fun to watch. Would your husband like that kind of thing?

 

[JimmyV]

I’m finally dragging my husband back to WDW in October, his last trip 2009. First - it’s not his favorite place to be and he is coming because he thinks he’s doing me a favor because I would be bored by myself even though I’ve told him it’s my dream for a solo Disney vacation. Second - he is suffering from extreme depression and with his meds he tends to sleep a lot. My job is to come up with a plan for four days that is a very calm, slow moving vacation that he will enjoy.

Any ideas?

Any ideas? Yes. Go back and re-read the portions that I have bolded and stop to seriously, (and I mean seriously) consider their import, and then ask yourself if planning a trip to WDW is really the best option right now. Maybe this is one time where you need to expand your horizons and look at someplace else to go. Disney will still be there when the both of your are ready for it.

 

[stazmatic]

What about a special tour like Keys to the Kingdom that will point out some ways Disney is a magical place? There are tons of ideas to appeal to a diverse crowd, you need to figure out his likes and capitalize on it.

 

[loves to dive]

I would seriously sit down and have a talk with him and make sure he a) really doesn't want to go, if he doesn't you shouldn't drag him there and b) find out if there is somewhere else he would be happy with that you would enjoy as well. My DH has no desire to go to DW (or anywhere else for that matter unless it involves diving) so I travel either alone or with my DS when he can get off, it works for us. If he is seriously depressed and on meds you may need to consider either staying at home or maybe a beach vacation would be more relaxing for both of you. Having said that, you are going during F&W so you can just spend your days walking around the booths, stopping to grab something that looks interesting and enjoying the countries at Epcot.

 

[ArwenMarie]

Could you do your thing in the mornings and let him chill in the resort in the morning and then do some things later in the day together? Dinner, etc. Maybe some resort-based stuff (visit AKL, see Wishes outside the parks at one of the monorail resorts, etc) I'm thinking less is probably more in this situation.

I hope you have a great trip and I hope your husband gets some relief from the extreme depression soon.

 

[hakepb]

Go to a beach and do nothing for 2+ days after WDW.
(At least beach time helps me prevent the "I need a vacation after my WDW vacation" feeling and I never rope drop and kinda take it slow at WDW)

Otherwise, rent a boat?
At MK there is the train, riverboat and peoplemover.

At AK, my only relaxing place is eating Flametree at the pavilion closest to the river.

 

[Simba's Mom]

How would he (and you) feel about you going by yourself? Honestly, when DH lost the love for going to WDW, after a while I just went by myself. It was so much better not to have to worry constantly about whether or not he was having a good time. And after I went by myself several times, he saw what fun I was having and decided to go with me! I still go by myself a lot, because he not the Disney-holic I am, but when he goes now, we both enjoy it.

 

[lustergirl]

Well I would try another style of vacation. Perhaps a beach house somewhere?

 

[DisneyCAL]

Does he enjoy golf, or horses or water sports? You could arrange a day just for him, while you have a solo in Magic Kingdom if rides aren't his thing. The resorts around 7 seas lagoon and bay lake have a lot of recreation that may appeal more to men. Then you could enjoy a slow day at AK with the shows and safari and then have the full day in Epcot.

 

[Quellman]

Lots of shows at Hollywood Studios, and don't forget the Streetmosphere acts!
The Birds of Prey is another excellent show at Animal Kingdom to go with what @bc7ate9 mentioned.
You can see the Dapper Dans and the piano player on Mainstreet USA.

For resorts you have Yehaw Bob as a great attraction.

If you do decide Disney is your vacation destination, maybe allow a morning or afternoon where he is able to return to the resort and rest or relax. then you can tear up the parks for a few hours and meet back up for dinner.

 

[AtlantaDisneyDreamer]

My DH does not care for the parks at all, but he really enjoys the Disney resorts. Have you considered a resort-only vacation? Animal Kingdom Lodge and The Cabins at Fort Wilderness are both great resorts where you can find a lot to do that is relaxed and low key. Enjoy the pool. Rent bikes. Watch fireworks on the beach. Have some nice breakfasts and dinners. Ride the boats. Ride the monorail. Ride a horse. Attend a campfire or two.

You will save big on tickets, and you will have little waiting in line. Your husband will be able to find a shady or air conditioned spot nearby without the stress of extreme crowds.

 

[Jennytoon]

OK, here are my suggestions:

General

-- as some PPs have suggested, maybe set up each day to have some park time just for you while he naps or chills, and some park time for both of you, and some chilling time for both of you. That way when in the park together you can focus on doing things that work for both of you, and he will have some extra sleep / rest time.

-- Does he enjoy food? Maybe make a two-snack plan for each park; make a game of checking out each of the snack carts until you find the two snacks you have to have.

-- Make a resort dinner plan for a monorail resort, then do a monorail loop and watch the water parade.

HS - This is my family's least favorite park, but one thing we really love here is the street performers. Plan to hit up 3 snack carts for your favorite snacks (alternate, make a nice ADR), and in between, take touristy pictures in front of the backdrops and watch any random performers you happen upon.

AK - This is my family's favorite park! There is so much to do here that can go at your own pace. The Pangani & Maharajah trails, the Discovery trails, you may happen upon DiVine. Flights of Wonder is a great show and you can usually wander in just a few minutes before it starts. All the shows here have lots of times, so if there is one you're interested in it's easy to catch it. We love to get Veggie samosas from the cart and take a break in the snack area nearby watching the river and looking for animals on the Tree of Life. Sit at the Dawa bar and have a drink, or get one and carry it over to watch people playing on the drums. As an alternate to doing the safari if he really doesn't want to ride stuff, make a dinner reservation at Boma, arrive 45 minutes early, and check out the animal viewing over AKLs savannahs -- there are really nice areas to stroll around and look out where the animals are. If you're there after sunset there are often CMs with night vision goggles.

MK - I feel this is the trickiest park, because unlike Epcot and AK, it is very ride-centric. Still, if he's opposed to lines and thrill rides but is happy with dark rides, many at MK have quite reasonable lines. This would be a great place for a snack cart plan, and if you pass Little Mermaid or Peoplemover and he seems interested in going on, just hop on. Or, you could decide to skip MK for this trip if you think you will have more success in the other parks -- sometimes I feel like the crowds here make it hard to move around more than any other park, so if there are crowds when you are there, it might not feel relaxing no matter what you are doing.

 

[lovndisney12]

Start by asking him what he doesn't like about WDW and what he does enjoy. Ask what type of vacation he would like or the types of things he likes to do. (And maybe you have already done this by your reference to picking a slower paced day - but not sure if that is just your assumption of what he would like)

If he dislikes the crowd, spend time at the resort(s) - you don't have to be staying at the GF to enjoy laying in a hammock and reading a book there
If he doesn't like the rides but is OK with the parks, enjoy things like the parades and shows

One idea I thought would be fun is to do a "Taste of the Monorail" resorts where you would go to the lounge at the various resorts and try an item or two and take in the scenery before hopping back on the monorail and heading to another resort. There is also a AMC theater DD with a "Dine-In". Maybe have him pick a movie he would like to see and do that together. If he is into sports and enjoys the pub / bar scene - head to the ESPN club together when there is a sporting event on that he would like. Does he like to fish? - there are fishing excursions too - never did one but that might be a nice non "Disney" activity.

Until you know those answers, it is really hard to come up with suggestions on how to make the trip enjoyable for him as well.

Depression is a tough thing and not sure how he is most of the time but do know some battling depression may not find a lot of joy in any type of vacation. So, I do understand you trying to pick something you would enjoy and then hope to make it tolerable and maybe even enjoyable for him.

Hope it all works out fine.

 

[Fizban]

I’m finally dragging my husband back to WDW in October, his last trip 2009. First - it’s not his favorite place to be and he is coming because he thinks he’s doing me a favor because I would be bored by myself even though I’ve told him it’s my dream for a solo Disney vacation. Second - he is suffering from extreme depression and with his meds he tends to sleep a lot. My job is to come up with a plan for four days that is a very calm, slow moving vacation that he will enjoy. I take a trip every March with my sister and now my niece where we hit 3 parks and the pool in one day so this trip I’m trying to think of things that just the opposite of go, go, go trip. Epcot is our favorite park so we are pretty much set with the shows in World Showcase and things like the Fountain of Nations. My real problem comes with trying to find spectator things in the other parks. He is making an effort, he offered to hold my things while I ride anything if he can wait/sit in the shade.

Any ideas?

At AK you have to do Flights of Wonder, period, end of story. Secondly at HS (if you are going to go there) watch the HS citizens shows and interact with them they are quite fun. I personally like to take a real camera and capture the birds and animals that you see in the parks. You can do a tequila flight at La Cava. You can go visit the horses at WL area (sorry forget what the actual name is). On your must-do list is go visit the Boardwalk at evening and watch the shows on the walk itself.

 

[JennyDrake]

As someone who has DRAGGED her spouse more than once (he was not dealing with clinical depression) I BEG you for the BOTH of you to PLEASE reconsider going.

The last time I coerced my spouse into going (Dec 2007) he pitched a fit as soon as we checked in that WDW did not (at that time) have ESPN. HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO WATCH FOOTBALL??? He had me in tears by 6 pm--and I do NOT cry easily. IT WAS 5 DAYS OF MISERY. ALL he wanted to do was stay in the room and read--and I had so thought we would spend leisurely time together. Uh. no. Yes, he had been to WDW multiple times before (I think the most recent had been 2003); and yes, he had said he didn't want to go. I thought it would be different once we got there....it wasn't.

Note that I had made multiple solo trip and trips with BFF before going back with him. I wanted magic, I got misery.

Since then I continue to make 3-4 trips per year without him and life is oh-so-much-better for the both of us.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

Is he into catch and release fishing? Maybe he'd enjoy renting a boat and going out on the lake.

I'd also look at shows to do with him. The year I couldn't walk much due to a bone spur in my heel (I didn't know what the problem was with my foot until I got home. What a mistake!) I spent alot of time going into shows, watching the outside entertainment and just relaxing while my husband took the kids to all of the rides.
They appreciated not being dragged into shows and I appreciated not limping around trying to have fun when I was in pain.

 

[DisneyWishes14]

I agree with the other PP's who have suggested perhaps reassessing the trip. My DH also does not like WDW so my DS7 and I tend to go by ourselves. He did go along with us for a week this past April and I made sure it was not go, go, go. We stayed at BCV and I made very few plans (lunch at the new Boathouse, spa treatments at the Dolphin for DH, a visit to Trader Sam's followed by dinner at O'hana). Other than that, we winged it. We went to the pool at BC (the quiet pool at BCV is especially nice and was just a few steps from our villa) and would stroll EP together at night and grab dinner. Some afternoons, my DH would simply nap in the room or read. Many nights my DS7 would go to the Sandcastle Club, while DH stayed in the room and I strolled EP. My DS and I would usually hit a park in the morning without DH or just do a few rides with him, have lunch and head back to the resort.

I would suggest, if he does go, pick an EP resort and make very few plans. Wake up each morning and ask him what he would like to do. Wing it. Pick one or two things you really want to do and let the rest simply fall into place based on how everyone feels. If you need to split up so you each get to do what you want to do, do it. We ended up having such a great trip in April because we had our moments of together time and moments of apart time.

 

[calngavinsmom]

Are you staying onsite? If so, my suggestion would be to choose a relaxing resort your dh would love. It made all the difference to my dh. He was done with Disney. Absolutely DONE until we discovered Port Orleans Riverside. He (as well as the kids and I) fell in love with POR. So much so that my dh is actually suggesting Disney trips now. We took the focus off of the parks and made it more about the whole resort experience. There is so much more to Disney than just the theme parks.....maybe that would be more his speed.

Good luck to you!

 

[NeedMoreMickey]

Thanks for all the suggestions of things to do and the suggestion to rethink the trip. We've talked it over and we will be trying to make this a low stress trip, we'll be staying at his favorite resort Beach Club. We tried a trip to the ocean in July and he was miserable, too much driving and too much stress, of all the places we talked about Disney was the only place where he can be in a bubble and block out the rest of the world.