slo’s WEDNESDAY 1/14 poll - Worrying 🥺

[hardcorestitch]

Anything out of the ordinary… is instant concern on my end…

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

I'm not really a worrier. I tend to agree with the expression "worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere). I take action where I can otherwise I'm not borrowing trouble and I will just handle whatever actually comes up when it does.

For example, the only thing I really worry about is dying before DH. He doesn't handle the finances and doesn't know what I pay or when I pay things or how. He likely doesn't know what credit cards we have. He's just not interested and I can't fight about it anymore. I finally have got it on track to where he knows where the filing system that has all of our important papers filed by type is and he knows to grab it in case of a fire or emergency. He doesn't know that I have left him an envelope with list of everything he needs to know should I drop dead tomorrow. It would just upset/worry him to talk about it. Things like what he needs to pay and what he doesn't, where my IRAs are located (I have made sure my beneficiaries are up to date), etc. We are both fairly young (me 46 and him 40) but I have a health issue where it is highly unlikely I will outlive him. I don't worry about it. I just wrote it all down and that's the best I can do.

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

For example, the only thing I really worry about is dying before DH. He doesn't handle the finances and doesn't know what I pay or when I pay things or how. He likely doesn't know what credit cards we have. He's just not interested and I can't fight about it anymore. I finally have got it on track to where he knows where the filing system that has all of our important papers filed by type is and he knows to grab it in case of a fire or emergency. He doesn't know that I have left him an envelope with list of everything he needs to know should I drop dead tomorrow. It would just upset/worry him to talk about it. Things like what he needs to pay and what he doesn't, where my IRAs are located (I have made sure my beneficiaries are up to date), etc. We are both fairly young (me 46 and him 40) but I have a health issue where it is highly unlikely I will outlive him. I don't worry about it. I just wrote it all down and that's the best I can do.

I'm in the same boat. I pay everything, know when and where everything is paid, control the 401ks, the IRAs, check the checking accounts daily. DW doesn't care and doesn't want to know. I've tried to write stuff down and let her know when stuff is due, how to pay, etc. And she doesn't care. Said she'd worry about that stuff if ever that day came. I'm just trying to get ahead so she knows. And the crazy thing is she's a loan officer at a bank. So she probably doesn't care about ours because she's around that stuff all day.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

I'm in the same boat. I pay everything, know when and where everything is paid, control the 401ks, the IRAs, check the checking accounts daily. DW doesn't care and doesn't want to know. I've tried to write stuff down and let her know when stuff is due, how to pay, etc. And she doesn't care. Said she'd worry about that stuff if ever that day came. I'm just trying to get ahead so she knows. And the crazy thing is she's a loan officer at a bank. So she probably doesn't care about ours because she's around that stuff all day.

It's tough for sure. I am hoping as my health declines that he will show some interest so I can prevent him from paying off things he doesn't need to and so he has a basic idea of what's going on. I've advised a family member I trust where the note is in case he doesn't see it/find it right away. Best of luck....it's a tough spot to be in.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Excessively.

We were flying back from Orlando Sunday. Three of us on one flight and my son on another.

When we landed in Atlanta and turned on our phones she called my wife immediately. She wanted to know what was wrong?

We had no idea what she was talking about. She had been tracking us, we were on a flight with no wifi so we were stuck in Orlando and then suddenly showed up in Atlanta while our son was showing up along the way to Minneapolis. She wanted to know why he was driving? What had happened. We had to explain he was on a plane, just happened to have wifi sending his location.

A little later she called again wanting to know what was wrong? What had happened to our daughter. Again we were confused. She had noticed our daughters husband was coming to the airport and assumed something had happened. We pointed out he was coming to get her.

Excessively.

My mother would do this if I gave her a tracker app. That's a trip to Crazy Town I will NEVER take.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I am at least a 10

 

[RUDisney]

I'm not really a worrier. I tend to agree with the expression "worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere). I take action where I can otherwise I'm not borrowing trouble and I will just handle whatever actually comes up when it does.

For example, the only thing I really worry about is dying before DH. He doesn't handle the finances and doesn't know what I pay or when I pay things or how. He likely doesn't know what credit cards we have. He's just not interested and I can't fight about it anymore. I finally have got it on track to where he knows where the filing system that has all of our important papers filed by type is and he knows to grab it in case of a fire or emergency. He doesn't know that I have left him an envelope with list of everything he needs to know should I drop dead tomorrow. It would just upset/worry him to talk about it. Things like what he needs to pay and what he doesn't, where my IRAs are located (I have made sure my beneficiaries are up to date), etc. We are both fairly young (me 46 and him 40) but I have a health issue where it is highly unlikely I will outlive him. I don't worry about it. I just wrote it all down and that's the best I can do.

Let me tell you what happened in my Dad's world.

Mom passed away in April 2024. She handled everything. The really fun part was that she kept everything in her brain... didn't write anything down, except she wrote physical checks written in her checkbook, but without a running balance. Dad was a mess, wondering what he would do. I took over for him. It took about 2 months to complete the forensic audit of their books. I built a spreadsheet to track his expenses. He has access to his online banking and he can have the spreadsheet whenever he wants it.

He has seemingly forgotten everything he ever learned about computers and software since Mom isn't there as a safety net, so he has only asked for it once. He does go into his Internet Banking and email but not much else.

So, my point is that he will find someone, a child, family member or friend to help him sort out anything left to him... or, he will figure it out himself. You don't have to worry about it. Leave him with better records than my Mom left my Dad. It'll all work out.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

Let me tell you what happened in my Dad's world.

Mom passed away in April 2024. She handled everything. The really fun part was that she kept everything in her brain... didn't write anything down, except she wrote physical checks written in her checkbook, but without a running balance. Dad was a mess, wondering what he would do. I took over for him. It took about 2 months to complete the forensic audit of their books. I built a spreadsheet to track his expenses. He has access to his online banking and he can have the spreadsheet whenever he wants it.

He has seemingly forgotten everything he ever learned about computers and software since Mom isn't there as a safety net, so he has only asked for it once. He does go into his Internet Banking and email but not much else.

So, my point is that he will find someone, a child, family member or friend to help him sort out anything left to him... or, he will figure it out himself. You don't have to worry about it. Leave him with better records than my Mom left my Dad. It'll all work out.

Thankfully when my dad passed, my mom handled everything already so she was okay. We always teased my dad that he was in real trouble if something happened to my mom. Your dad is blessed to have you.

Thankfully DH can do online banking and accesses our checking account and will have no problems logging into the credit cars if he knew login names and passwords. LOL. He's definitely not helpless, but I do need to leave him a roadmap so he pays what's needed, sends a death certificate where he doesn't have to pay, and where the retirement assets are so he can access them. He definitely has family help (we don't have any kids) and I know he's capable of managing. I just feel better having it all laid out so he isn't hunting things down too much. Now that that's done I'm not worrying too much about it.

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

VERY much I worry.
7 to 8. I think, for me, it has gotten worse with age.
I plan on asking my Dr about this.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I think internal anxiety/worry that is self generated is different from external people around you making horrible choices/worry. One seems to create a natural set point that is built into a personality and the other external kind is intrusive and a serious piss off.

Left to myself I land on maybe a 2, barely move the needle and am careful but have a general sort of whatever attitude. For example, during Finals I'd do the best I could then eventually say to myself it is out of my hands and go to sleep because it's gonna be what its gonna be. My own self has never ever kept me up, if my conscience is clear I am all good.

However, other people I love being reckless can bury the needle for me beyond what is tolerable worry, so that just rots. I feel like I understand why being a hermit is a thing, the older I get the more it speaks to me.