skipping xmas

[Desnik]

We did this this year! We took our kids to Disney for Xmas and we were gone from Dec 21-29.

We usually do Xmas at our house & have 30 family members (adults & kids) that I cook & bake for. It is my mother's side of the family. Then the next day I get to do it all over again for my dad & 10 people from his side of the family!

My mothers family is the worst. There is usually a ton of drama before the holiday that usually starts on Thanksgiving at my moms house. They come to my house on Xmas day and no one can ever arrive at the same time so it's like a revolving door! Then their kids are all misbehaved and usually ruin a handful of things in our house & fight with my kids. I have to buy a gift for every one including step kids I've never met! I buy nice gifts, things the kids have on their lists, they bring my kids dollar store items.

So, this year DH said enough! It's too stressful for you & we don't even enjoy it anymore. Telling everyone was scary! I still have my mother pissed at me. She thinks I was just trying to be cheap & not buy anyone gifts! (FYI I still bought gifts for my parents, inlaws, aunt, sister & nieces/nephews!)

We had an amazing time at WDW. It was beautiful and I'm so glad we did it. We never ran in to crowds, never waited on line for anything! We had great dinners, down time & good quality time with our kids.

But, on Xmas eve it was so strange to not be baking and preparing for the next day! On Xmas day it was so weird not being home, with my crazy family! For the 1st time my sisters spent that day with our father & they called me & my dad was so emotional! He told me had had the perfect day, but there was only one thing missing, me! I cried & told my husband I can't leave again during Xmas! I just have to do it a different way. No more at my home but I think it's time to spend that day with my dad & sisters going forward.

My DS (9) hated being away for Xmas! My DD (14) didn't care until she found out we had snow on Xmas day! Both kids were so upset they missed it. My son just wanted to be home with his toys and moms cooking lol. My DH loved it! So, maybe someday we will do it again, but not next year.

 

[MinnieFan4ever]

I would love to do this when our daughter is older. She'll just be 4 next Christmas and wouldn't want to have her worry if Santa could find her. When she older, yes, I would totally go away!

 

[ZachnElli]

I'd love to do this! My MiL lives for drama and it peaks at Christmas every year. She was emotionally and physically abusive to her 4 kids when they were young and continues to be emotionally abusive. My FIL died unexpectedly right before Thanksgiving and he really tried to keep a lid on her, but since he wasn't there, she was something else this year! I'd love to just leave and not worry about her! I do love our Christmas Eve tradition with my side though!

 

[EMom]

Christmas is only as stressful as you let it be. If you let yourself be sucked into family drama, buying out of obligation, or whatever . . . A change of location won't solve that problem. It'll just move the stress to another location.

I'm not saying don't travel for Christmas, just that if you're looking to relieve yourself of problems, this won't serve as a magic bullet.

I don't agree. We have escaped before for Thanksgiving/Christmas and it has worked like a charm. Our nuclear family goes and has a good time away from the people that can Grinch a Christmas or sabotage a Thanksgiving in record time. If you stay at home and say you are not going to join in the extended family "festivities," you get all sorts of pressure to come and "celebrate." But if you are 1000 miles away, you just skip the drama. Skip it! Let them have their annual dramafest and your little family can have a blast on vacation.

We don't have so much drama, but I do not enjoy Thanksgiving, because that's when my parents died. Getting away takes my mind off the loss. Christmas? Well, we are obligated, as are many, to see people we don't really want to be around. Forget the excuses, fibs and pressure.......Just hop a plane or drive the car a safe distance away from it all.

If the problem is that you do not want to be around certain people for the holidays, for whatever reason, then going away erases that particular problem. Sure, it's running. But God gave me legs for a reason.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Christmas is only as stressful as you let it be. If you let yourself be sucked into family drama, buying out of obligation, or whatever . . . A change of location won't solve that problem. It'll just move the stress to another location.

I'm not saying don't travel for Christmas, just that if you're looking to relieve yourself of problems, this won't serve as a magic bullet.

Buying gifts and cooking isn't the stressful part AT ALL. Its the drama people bring. That's what im trying to escape anyway. Its awful. everyone is so snippy and bitter all the time. Fighting arguing and crying. If i anyway next year, i know i won't miss that at all. Lol.

 

[Chelley00]

We seriously considered it this year. When we posed it to the kids, they all freaked out, including the older teens! I was surprised. They all had different reasons too: No Christmas Eve pajamas? No Christmas morning breakfast casserole? No Christmas Eve seafood and movie night? No candlelight Christmas service?

I realized then it wasn't about the gifts for them, it was the traditions. I can deal with a little family drama when I realized that the traditions we do every year that they remember and cling to.

 

[Aliceacc]

Absolutely not, never.

Christmas is family. It's the one time of the year that I KNOW my 4 siblings, my mom, all the spouses and kids and the great nieces and nephews will be there.

I love Disney, but it's no replacement for what really matters in my life.

Christmas isn't stressful. It's busy and hectic, but I wouldn't trade away a minute of it.

 

[horseshowmom]

We have actually been doing this the last few years. We don't exchange gifts with DD and her DH, we just split the condo/house and use the money on the trip. We all agree that we have enough "stuff" and that we buy whatever we really want anyway, so a trip is a great way to spend the money. We absolutely LOVE it!!!

We've been to Disney World (more than once), Pigeon Forge, and this year to Orange Beach, AL for the beach. It was gorgeous and no crowds. We ate at a restaurant called Cotton's that we really liked. DD said that hadn't been able to get close to getting in during the summer. The outlet mall there had great deals.

Regarding traditions: We don't do hotel rooms - always rent a condo or a house. Most of the time they come decorated, but if not, we've carried a small tree with us. We've found we can do all of the things there that we do at home since we have lots of room, a kitchen, etc.

Next year, I want to be somewhere where there's lots of snow!

 

[StephMK]

I would love to see Christmas decorations at Disney some year but we don't have family drama to avoid. As the kids get older, I could see vacationing over break at some point if our families had other plans. We're all out of state now so it takes more scheduling to set up visits.

 

[worm761]

Just as my DS got old enough to propose the whole vacation instead of presents thing, DD came along.

Honestly, with small kids (DD is only 3) I refuse to travel. I have traveled on the holidays 3 times in my adult life. I hate it and refuse. I also won't leave home for Thanksgiving since we host a bunch of sailors that have nowhere else to go. Drives MIL nuts that we don't bend to her wishes.

Now, IF we lived near MIL, we would travel away every single holiday. She is very high drama and I just cannot deal with it. It drives DH nuts too. My family is also full of drama but they all live a thousand miles away! I have only a small amount of family down here and there is no drama with them.

 

[ebtbmom]

I would love to do this one year but DS is really attached to his Christmas morning routine and it would break his heart.

My family doesn't really have drama though. I just create pressure for myself because I HATE cooking and the bring this dish and be at this house at this time thing totally stresses me out.

 

[EllaM]

I wouldn't travel for Christmas. Every other holiday yes, but Christmas is a 42 year tradition in my family. We have celebrated at "grandpa's" since my parents bought the house in 1970. The holiday started out small, grew a couple years, but after the grandchildren were born it has grown steadily bigger every year. I do a ton of things to get ready for the holiday: shopping, decorating, cleaning, decorating, coordinating with the 4 families. I'm usually up most of the night Christmas Eve and again early Christmas morning to get ready for the celebration. It all becomes a blur to me.

There is some drama in my family, but most of it happens behind the scenes in phone calls and e-mails. On the actually holiday we are all smiles and laughter, which makes for a great time for the grandkids.

When the backstage drama happens I get upset and daydream about going away, but then I remember all the joy on the kids' faces and I relent. In fact, I've been told I cannot travel or move away specifically because the kids would miss our Christmas gatherings.

So instead I go away December 29 and spend New Year's in Disney. Then I can enjoy all the Christmas decorations and adventures down there. Since we really don't do a big gathering on NYE at home (no one wants to risk being on the roads with all the drunks), it works out.

By the time we come home on January 2nd, Disney is taking down their decorations but my house is still all trimmed. I get to enjoy my tree and train garden through January.

Realistically I know one day the kids won't want to gather on Christmas Day like they do now. When I was growing up my uncle hosted a big Thanksgiving celebration. After 25 years he retired it to sell his farmhouse. I really miss those times and cherish my memories.

Traveling is adventurous and memorable, but it doesn't have those sentimental feelings of hearth and home.

 

[diznee25]

Ten years ago we did skip Christmas. It was for our honeymoon.....we married on Dec. 13th and then went to WDW for a 2 week honeymoon! Getting to be in Magic Kingdom on Christmas day was magical!

Funny, DH and I just had a discussion today about going to WDW sometime for Thanksgiving. Not necessarily to avoid family, but because we always thought it would be neat to hit WDW for all the major holidays. And we've already done Christmas, and Halloween....so we thought, why not Thanksgiving?

diznee25

 

[MrsPete]

I don't agree. We have escaped before for Thanksgiving/Christmas and it has worked like a charm. Our nuclear family goes and has a good time away from the people that can Grinch a Christmas or sabotage a Thanksgiving in record time. If you stay at home and say you are not going to join in the extended family "festivities," you get all sorts of pressure to come and "celebrate." But if you are 1000 miles away, you just skip the drama. Skip it! Let them have their annual dramafest and your little family can have a blast on vacation.

We don't have so much drama, but I do not enjoy Thanksgiving, because that's when my parents died. Getting away takes my mind off the loss. Christmas? Well, we are obligated, as are many, to see people we don't really want to be around. Forget the excuses, fibs and pressure.......Just hop a plane or drive the car a safe distance away from it all.

If the problem is that you do not want to be around certain people for the holidays, for whatever reason, then going away erases that particular problem. Sure, it's running. But God gave me legs for a reason.

I'm not suggesting that you skip the gatherings and parties, but if individuals in the family "start drama", you don't have to participate. I found this difficult to do when I was younger, but now it's easy. You don't have to provide excuses or fibs, just be upfront and tell people what you will and will not be doing: Perhaps you do want to attend the family gathering, but you do not want to participate in a gift exchange, or you do want to go to the meal at Aunt Susie's, but you do not want to stay late-late drinking with your cousins.

You really can "opt out" of drama without running away from it.

 

[dyna]

I live 900 miles from family never go home for Christmas nor do any of them come here.

I do pretty much skip Christmas I do not send gifts home do not buy except for a very few close local friends (this Christmas I made all their gifts)

We do send out a few cards.

We DH an I spent Christmas at our own home no guest to cater to or try to please.

All the above an I still wish I could cancel Christmas I get tired of peeps asking if I'm ready or if I have my shopping done etc an Asking me what they should buy their 13 yr old niece etc.

In other words I do not believe in spending money just because it's Christmas it annoys me that others feel they have to spend just because it is Christmas.

It's all about remembering the reason for the season to me an maybe sharing time with loved ones that I enjoy being with for the sake of being with them an sharing our love for 1 another NOT who can give who the nicest gift.

 

[njmom47]

Not that we have family drama but Christmas (for us) has changed so much over the years. Our families are just not that close anymore. My dmom is snowbird so she's not even nearby.
We did go to WDW on Christmas Day a few years ago (ds baseball tournament ) and it was great! I would do it again, but since we now have dgd, I'm not sure how it would work.