Since I have been losing weight, my husband has been gaining

[helenk]

I know this is strange, but this is causing kind of a problem.
Let me start by saying, that even at my highest weight, 250, my husband never said anything about how bad I looked. I am 5'2 so being 250 was really quite fat. I have lost 53 pounds, so I am still 197, no light weight.
But, since I have been losing weight and exercising I do feel good about myself and my accomplishments so far. Lately, my husband has really started putting on weight and it bothers me. I know this is horrible, after he has been so good about my weight.
Has anyone else felt upset or annoyed with their spouse or SO, I am not sure what to say to him because I do not want to hurt his feelings....any input?

 

[JenEeyore]

I have to admit, I am in similar circumstance. I won't say anything critical to DH though - he suffers from depression, and I certainly don't want to make his self image any worse. I am just trying to be supportive when he strikes times when he wants to get healthier. He never criticized me when I gained my weight (was up to 205 at one point) and he has been pretty supportive of my losses (lost 50 lbs a few years ago, and just lost 27 again after having DS a couple of years ago). The ironic thing is that when we got married - he was actually pretty underweight for a guy. He had size 27 inch waist, wich was hard to shop for sometimes, and I used to encourage him to gain weight. He reached a point a few years ago where I thought he was just right, but he thought he was fat because much of the weight gain was caused by taking Prozak. He is frustrated with himself for gaining so much in past few years and hates all pictures of himself now. I figure like me, he will hit a point where he is totally ready to start actively working on the loss, until then I just try to cook healthy for the family and have good snacks around, and I can't "parent" him as to what he eats totally. He is an adult. Eventually, I would love us both to be at nice healthy balanced weights though.

 

[kild]

Something that I have seen work a few times in these situations.

Ask your partner to help you with your exercising. Granted, most men will not jump at the chance to do "Sweating to the Oldies," but there are other things. Walking, crunches, etc..
Tell them you are struggling and it would be easier if they helped you. Many times, this makes them feel like part of process and they join in. Especially after they realize it makes them feel better.