Shower/Registry Ettiquette

[Lizby]

This is something I have been wondering about...we are getting married on 7/4/08 in Disney and the only people invited to the wedding are immediate family. There will only be six guests. My question is whether or not it would be proper to have a bridal shower (not that I would throw it myself but DF's family is wondering.) His mom and I thought no, since we aren't inviting anyone to the wedding. His aunt said that we are still getting married and there should be one. What do you all think?

Also, we are having a reception at home a couple of months after the wedding. (It is just a casual BBQ type.) Should we be thinking about a registry of some kind or is that not necessary either? Are guests supposed to bring gifts to the reception if they weren't invited to the wedding? (I am not really worried about the gifts, but I don't know if some guests will be looking for something to get us or not.) TIA!!!

 

[superdiz]

I have never been to a wedding that did not have a bridal shower. That said, I also don't know anyone who just had immediate friends and family. Only people that were invited to my wedding were invited to my shower. So yeah this is tough!

I'd register anyhow because people who want to get you a gift may like a guideline. I personally prefer registries when I go to buy a wedding gift and I've bought gifts for people even if I couldn't attend the wedding (but I'd been invited to the wedding so again, not quite sure there).

Let the shower decision rest with your friends and family and don't worry about it - as a bride you wouldn't plan it anyhow.

 

[malibuconlee]

We were married in Vegas, just the two of us. However we did have a full blown wedding reception when we got back. Me in my dress, DH in his tux, DJ, cake, food.

DH's sisters threw us a couples shower that was mostly family and close friends. We also received as many gifts, I think, that were brought to the wedding reception as we would have if we'd had a church wedding at home.

 

[lurkyloo]

DF's mom said she wouldn't throw us a shower b/c just immediate friends and family are invited. So DF's best friend threw us a shower, and 25 of our 50 invitees came - it was fun!

Then, just today, the ladies at my church - none of whom are invited to the wedding - threw me another shower! They didn't care - they knew it was a destination wedding (and were prolly glad not to have to travel from California to Florida for the wedding!).

So what I'm saying is... register! Just in case! And like SuperDiz said, don't worry about the shower b/c you don't have to plan it (although you can drop hints - hee hee!)

 

[FIREFLY01]

I FULLY AGREE TO REGISTER, ATLEAST THAT WAY YOU CAN REGISTER FOR THE COLORS YOU HAVE IN YOUR HOME, ALSO FOR ANY APPLIANCE YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE,THEN IF PEOPLE DO GET YOU A GIFT IT SOMETHING YOU WILL USE, AS FOR THE SHOWER I'M SURE MOST PEOPLE MUST KNOW YOU ARE PLANNING AN INTIMATE WEDDING W/ A BBQ WHEN YOU RETURN, SO AS LONG AS YOU INVITE THE PEOPLE YOU ARE INVITING TO THE BBQ AND/OR WEDDING ITS FINE. YOU CAN ALWAYS WEAR YOUR WEDDING DRESS TO THE BBQ AND HAVE ALL THE PICTS FR YOUR WEDDING TO SHOW EVERYONE!!!: up2

 

[Lizby]

Thanks for your help everyone! So about how many months beforehand are you supposed to register? The wedding is still seven months away so I'm guessing it's too early. Should it be done by a certain time?

 

[Lizby]

YOU CAN ALWAYS WEAR YOUR WEDDING DRESS TO THE BBQ AND HAVE ALL THE PICTS FR YOUR WEDDING TO SHOW EVERYONE!!!: up2

That is exactly what I was thinking! I am going to have my dress cut to a knee/tea length after the wedding so I can wear it again.

As a side note, about how long did it take anyone who's gotten married already to get your photos back? Not the ones posted online, but the actual pictures. I have a friend who was married 9/21 and hasn't gotten her pics yet. She said her photographer told her eight weeks. Is that the norm?

 

[lurkyloo]

Thanks for your help everyone! So about how many months beforehand are you supposed to register? The wedding is still seven months away so I'm guessing it's too early. Should it be done by a certain time?

They say 6 months out is good, and it's also good to keep tabs on your lists to make sure stuff hasn't been discontinued or all bought up before everyone had a crack at it.

 

[Tigger1221]

Yes have a shower! We had a Disney wedding too but people still wanted us to have a shower. They wanted to celebrate with us, they knew we were having a wedding at WDW but this was our celebration with them. I say go for it!

Jill

 

[ampooh]

We did not have a "wedding" . The stress of it all got to me so we cancelled it all and got married at home with only DH's parents, sister and my 2 best friends there. A month later we had a house warming shower.

You should definietly register and have a shower