If you're like me, you're probably realizing that you have only a few years left with your 12-year old at home -- he or she will be out of the house before you know it, and your opportunity for a "family vacation" will be gone. As such, I'd want to take the family vacation and make the memories while the family is still "intact". However, I also understand the desire to have some private time with your husband (we didn't have a honeymoon either -- we were too poor back then).
My suggestion: Keep the plans for the family Disney trip, but go over the budget with a fine tooth comb and remove a couple hundred dollars. You can do this fairly easily: replace a couple meals with pizza delivery or sandwiches in the room, slash the souvenier budget, cut out one day's tickets and plan a relaxing day by the hotel pool instead -- it can be done. Or consider switching to a beach vacation, which is less expensive (because you don't have to buy tickets) than a Disney vacation. A beach vacation can also be more relaxing than a Disney vacation: sleeping late, board games, cooking big meals together. It's a completely different vacation, of course, that might or might not appeal to you.
Use that couple hundred dollars for a short trip somewhere close to home with your husband. Drive up to the mountains to see the fall leaves; stay in a bed-and-breakfast and have some nice dinners. Or drive to the nearest big city and see a show or concert. You don't need a fancy trip to come back feeling re-connected and re-energized. You just need some couple time. You'll have many years together to take cruises, etc. in the future.
