Should I pay for everyone's dinner?

[Disneychix]

I wouldn't expect dinner if I was invited by my SIL on a vacation to celebrate a b-day. But maybe a cake.

We have birthday parties for every family memeber in our family. My house is too small (plus we have a dog that most don't like) to have everyone here so we usually go to a restaurant. I do not buy food for everyone, maybe drinks sometimes, but provide the cake/coffee a the end.

 

[torinsmom]

A breakfast or lunch would be less expensive. Have you invited your family to the dinner yet? I would lay out the details there. Maybe do a buffet, where the cost is fixed, and note in the invite that dinner includes non-alcoholic beverages.

 

[stephbillalec]

Yes, I think you should definitely pay. I think it's tacky not to.

 

[Trinity524]

Do they have the means to pay? If they do, then they should. I would be horrified to think someone would pay for a Disney meal because someone invited me. I have the means to pay, so I would.

My sister and brother live paycheck to paycheck.... if I invited them, I know the tickets and room would be a lot for them, so I would be expected to pay...

 

[pigletto]

I would pay. If everyone has cars try somewhere off property to not pay Disney prices. I am sure the people around here could make a million great suggestions.


ETA) and I LOVE the suggestion of a birthday lunch. It would be easier on the budget and a great break in the day for everyone if you are touring the parks!

 

[okeydokey]

Since you invited them, you should pay.

 

[bettymae1121]

Wow that's a tricky one! In my family, eveyone expects to pay their own way unless told otherwise ahead of time. But not all families work that way, and I'm sure there are regional differences to (what most people do in the South is totally oposit of the Midwest, for example).

Whatever you decide, I'd let people know ahead of time what the deal is. You don't want people to assume you're paying and then present them with a bill at the end. Or have everone assume they are paying and then there is a fight about it (No, I insist on paying!) at the end of the meal.

 

[MissUndastood]

Absolutely you should pay. I can't imagine getting an invite to a birthday party for which I was expected to pay.

 

[Minnesota!]

I would pay for a surprise birthday dinner in a restaurant that I invited family to.

Yep!

We invited friends out to dinner with us at Grand Floridian Cafe and I would have felt horrible inviting them and then expecting them to pay. It wasn't cheap - there were 8 of us all together...but it was worth it.

 

[shortbun]

I would pay.

+1

Pick a restaurant that's NOT so expensive.

 

[Kae]

I would pay. i have you thought about Cape May Buffet at BC? We also love GF Cafe for dinner. Could you do breakfast? I think that would be a fun way to start the day. Maybe Kona?

when I surprised DH with a Bday trip to Vegas I picked up a dinner Buffet at Beliiago-I chose a buffet so I would know the cost going in.

Off site Cafe Tu Tu Tango would be a great choice.

Kae

 

[Kae]

I just had another thought what about a fireworks cruise instead of dinner? i know its not dinner but it could be a nice treat for everyone. And everyone could surprise you guys at the dock.

Kae

 

[luvtheBuzz]

I would pay. Since you invited them you really should pay. However, if you don't feel you can foot the whole bill, I would suggest that you tell everyone up front that you will be paying x-amount of dollars towards the dinner( I'm thinking at least 50% of the cost of the meal and drinks) and anything over that you'd like to have them share the cost. Nothing would be worse than for them to be assuming that you're paying the whole bill and then you turn to them when it's time to pay asking for money. I would think that would really be embarrassing for all parties concerned. Good luck figuring out what you're going to do... I am sure it will be a really fun time!

 

[JKMJ441724]

I guess we are all different.
I would never expect my host to pay for my "anything." I would assume I was paying my own way at the time I accepted the invitation. If it was a place that I could not afford, I could simply decline the invitation.

We were planning a trip to Disney one time and I was talking to the mother of one of my daughter's friends, telling her how much fun we had there. I told her that they should come down that week too. She totally took that to mean that I was going to finance a trip for her and her daughter. It was very awkward for both of us when I had to restate my meaning.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

Absolutely you should pay. I can't imagine getting an invite to a birthday party for which I was expected to pay.

This is how I feel. You're setting up a surprise birthday party for him, it just happens to be in Disney. (Getting the free vouchers for flying is certainly nice of you, but irrelevant to who pays for the birthday dinner.)

You should definitely pay.

 

[disneyfreakk]

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but yes you should pay.

But, if it is just way out of your budget you could always buy a cake from the GF bakery and have cake and coffee (or milk) at the GF. I think this is the very least you should do.

 

[maraki527]

If you invited them then yes. What if you picked a rest. that wasn't too expensive like Cape May Clambake

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

I did almost the exact same thing a few years ago for my dad's 60th birthday party.....and I didn't pay.

We had a dinner at Wilderness Lodge (Canyon something?? I forgot---the one that's casual where they run around the room) and about 25 people came. We were in Disney celebrating his birthday, and had several friends & family members join us for dinner that evening and parks the next day. It was a real blessing to us that they cared enough for come spend his special day with us.

I guess the main thing is to be up front about it. I was in constant contact with everyone that was invited, sent them copies of the menu, and told them that though I would love to be able to afford to pay for 25 peoples dinner at WDW, there's no way I could do that. They were all fine with it, everyone we invited came anyway, and it was a great time.

Just be up front if you aren't going to pay and then let people make their own decision on if they are coming.

 

[AmberHeartsDisney]

I think it would be a nice.

 

[ccgirl]

My husband's 40th birthday is in July and we are headed to Disneyworld. I invited his younger brother, his wife and two girls to come as well and my MIL and FIL are coming. His older brother lives in Orlando and his two girls will be with him. I'm a flight attendant so I am giving his younger brother's family free airline passes and my MIL and FIL are airline people as well so they are flying for free. They will all be paying for their expenses otherwise (hotels, park tickets, etc.). What I'm wondering is should I buy dinner for everyone the night we surprise my husband? I don't know if they are all renting cars so I should probably pick a hotel in DD or at their hotel (the Dolphin). It looks like the per plate prices are pretty high in any of the sit down restaurants so I could be looking at a $400-$600 dinner bill.

What is appropriate? Should I be paying for dinner or would that not be expected?

Thanks for your input!

Since it is close family I would notify them up front of my intentions. Either picking up the tab or having everyone pay their own way. I hink either is appropriate as long as you inform them beforehand. If you do pay are they drinkers as well? Alcoholic beverages can greatly increase a bill.

Have fun!