Should I be this angry (a little long, sorry)

[SC Minnie]

If he's not sleeping with her now, he either wants to or she knows something about him that he doesn't want to get out. Either way it's time to start finding a new place to work and a new boyfriend if he refuses to listen to you and treat you better.

I was going to say the same thing. He may not be actually having a physical affair but sounds like he still wants the ex.

Five years is a lot of time to 'throw away' but better it be 5 yrs than you get married, have kids, na d then he drop the bomb that he always wanted this ex and leaves.

 

[casey49781]

Your boyfriend probably still has feelings for her. No man in his right mind would keep hiring an ex back if he truly didn't want to injure his relationship with his current girlfriend. I honestly think I'd cool the relationship after you find a NEW job. Don't be a doormat for him.


You have alot of good advise from others, I sure as heck would not put up with this from nobody. There is something else going on here. Stand up for yourself, you deserve better than that. Goodluck

 

[Disneyrsh]

well I'll be the one to just come out and say it:

He's having an affair with her.

Sorry...I am so sorry. I know you probably don't want to hear that, and I'm sure YOU are SURE there's nothing going on between them. However, given the facts you have presented, it does not take a detective to see that there is something going on between them.

The best advice I can give you is to do one of two things (and I would hesitate to guess that you won't do either of them since you've already put up with his nonsense for this long). You can A) leave his sorry butt and move on with your life or B) tell him he has a choice, the ex or you and force him to fire her PERMANENETLY or you will walk away.

Yes, in answer to your original question, you have every right to feal angry with him. Please don't be blinded by love for him.

She's right.

If you read your own post again, the answers are there, and they're very obvious. Being a girlfriend for 5 1/2 years without progression is stagnation.

You deserve better, it's just hard to see it because you're in it.

Break free of this loser.

You're obviously sensitive, intelligent, and hard working, why would you stay with a guy who dated pond scum, and continues to revere said pond scum?

Trust me, there are guys out there who will treat you wonderfully; you just have to demand that they do and not accept any less. They'll step up, and appreciate you even more for having such confidence in yourself.

 

[Disney Doll]

There is no way, if I was in the OP's shoes, I would leave that job now. Her BF obviously still wants to be around his ex, if he keeps hiring her back, when he knows she is not liked by the other employees and SHE KEEPS QUITTING. If the OP left the job now, she could not keep her eye on the ex and her BF. sorry, but there has to be a reason why this guy keeps hiring this girl back, when he knows his current, long-time gf doesn't like her.

To the OP...you said that if bf hired back again, you would have a major issue with him. I read that as maybe a threat that you may break up with him? (not a bad idea) He called your bluff, now you have to do something. This is the fork in the road.

If I felt like I had to "keep my eye" on my BF, he wouldn't be my BF.

This is the fork in the orad, and I'd be taking the fork that didn't include him. There is obviously some attraction between him & her. You have been dating for 5 years and when this skank appears, he forgets you exist.

I'd be looking for a new job, and when I found one, I would be gone from my old job and my boyfriend.

He is not a man of integrity and he is not treating you with respect. You have no need to tolerate either of those behaviors for any longer than the time it takes you to find a new job.

 

[agnes!]

I'm going to repeat what others have posted, but here goes anyway...

Dump the BF. He does NOT deserve you.

Dump the job. He's probably not even paying you what you deserve! Hmmmm, I do have to wonder...what IS he paying his "supposed" ex?!?

If he is not *physically* involved with her, I would be surprised. He IS involved with her at some level...and you should know that there are "emotional-only" affairs.

good luck,
agnes!

 

[sajetto]

well I'll be the one to just come out and say it:

He's having an affair with her.

Sorry...I am so sorry. I know you probably don't want to hear that, and I'm sure YOU are SURE there's nothing going on between them. However, given the facts you have presented, it does not take a detective to see that there is something going on between them.

The best advice I can give you is to do one of two things (and I would hesitate to guess that you won't do either of them since you've already put up with his nonsense for this long). You can A) leave his sorry butt and move on with your life or B) tell him he has a choice, the ex or you and force him to fire her PERMANENETLY or you will walk away.

Yes, in answer to your original question, you have every right to feal angry with him. Please don't be blinded by love for him.

ITA. I am so sorry you are going through this, but the signs are glaring. A broken heart is one of the most painful things to mend, but for your own future walk away and leave this man and his office in the dust.

 

[CapeCodTenor]

OP: Sorry about all this but the only thing that comes to my mind is....

"love is blind".....is he still in love with her? OR maybe he is just "infatuated" with her....just something about her that makes him "forget" your existense.

I'd have to agree with this. He's forgetting your existense, he's either still in love with this person, or highly infatuated with her. I'd talk to him if I were you. Tell him how you feel, and that he has a choice - it's either her or you. And what that one poster said about dealing with it? No, you don't have to deal with it. It's your life, and you deserve what's best for you, and NOT what's best for someone else. Just my opinion.

 

[Steamboat Marti]

You have to ask yourself the age old question:

Would I be better off with him or without him??

IF you were asking me (and I know you aren't), after a lot of soul searching, I'd have to say I was better off without him. I want (and deserve) a man that puts me #1 over everything and EVERYBODY. ALWAYS.

I was in your shoes, thought long and hard, answered my question, walked away and divorced him. Found my true sweetheart two years later and that was 12 years ago. I'm ALWAYS #1 and he's always #1 for me.

Hope you answer the question that best suits you. In the meantime

 

[momrek06]

OP: I have an idea....find another job and QUIT this one with the BF....wait a few months at the new job....and then just "tell" BF you are unhappy at the NEW job and see if he will HIRE YOU BACK....if BF is "hesitant" in hiring you back...

YOU NOW HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS YOU NEED.......

OP!

 

[PaulaSue]

Sorry, it looks like he puts her over you and after all this time you are not married to him you never will, IMO. Might be a very good thing in the long run.

I would get another job and a new boyfriend!

 

[horseshowmom]

I was going to say the same thing. He may not be actually having a physical affair but sounds like he still wants the ex.

Five years is a lot of time to 'throw away' but better it be 5 yrs than you get married, have kids, na d then he drop the bomb that he always wanted this ex and leaves.

I agree.

It's obvious that he's making excuses. From your post, it's plain that she's NOT "good for the business" as he keeps insisting.

His behavior towards her is pretty much self-explanatory. If it's got feathers, quacks, and waddles, it's a duck. You may be perfectly right in that "nothing" is going on between them, but he sure is making it look like he's available if she changes her mind.

You need to seriously consider making some changes in both your work and personal situations. Best wishes...

 

[irisbud]

Thank you all for your kindness. You are all right, of course, and your opinions are concurrent with those of my confidants. I just need to convince myself of it. I have been feeling for a long time now that nothing is ever going to move forward if it hasn't already, especially with her around all of the time. I wish things could be different, but I know that wishing for something just does not make it so. Lately I have been feeling that I do deserve better, I just feel selfish and arrogant for feeling that way, I suppose. Writing it all down makes things a lot clearer for me. Now I just have to find the strength to do what my mind knows it has to do, and what my heart dosen't want to...

 

[MrsJackSparrow]

Time for a new job and a new BF. He obviously has no respect for you to keep bringing her around and not much regard for his business if your customers can't stand her either. I'd say C-YA!

 

[Cass]

He is being disrespectful to you and your relationship by allowing this woman back. You should give notice and see what he says!

 

[beckmrk04]

Thank you all for your kindness. You are all right, of course, and your opinions are concurrent with those of my confidants. I just need to convince myself of it. I have been feeling for a long time now that nothing is ever going to move forward if it hasn't already, especially with her around all of the time. I wish things could be different, but I know that wishing for something just does not make it so. Lately I have been feeling that I do deserve better, I just feel selfish and arrogant for feeling that way, I suppose. Writing it all down makes things a lot clearer for me. Now I just have to find the strength to do what my mind knows it has to do, and what my heart dosen't want to...

It's neither selfish nor arrogant to want the best for yourself, and to feel like you deserve better. It's a worse crime to think you don't deserve happiness and someone to love you as much as they should, because that way of thinking ultimately robs you of happiness. You only get one shot at life! It would be a shame to spend it with someone who doesn't realize how special you are, and treat you that way every day of your life!!!

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

Thank you all for your kindness. You are all right, of course, and your opinions are concurrent with those of my confidants. I just need to convince myself of it. I have been feeling for a long time now that nothing is ever going to move forward if it hasn't already, especially with her around all of the time. I wish things could be different, but I know that wishing for something just does not make it so. Lately I have been feeling that I do deserve better, I just feel selfish and arrogant for feeling that way, I suppose. Writing it all down makes things a lot clearer for me. Now I just have to find the strength to do what my mind knows it has to do, and what my heart dosen't want to...

I've been in a similar situation as you and I can promise you that once you get yourself away from this guy you will realize that you are so much better off. And then you can find someone else who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. That's NOT selfish at all.

to you during this hard time.

 

[southernbella]

Don'y have any good advice, but I do have , good thoughts & pixie dust for you.

Sbella

 

[Jennasis]

Girl we are all here for you! Get all the empowerment you need right here from you friends at the DIS. You deserve the best you can get...that is NEVER selfish to want to be cared for and loved! Hugs to you...be strong!

 

[grlpwrd]

I'm curious... how old are you and you bf and what kind of business are we talking?

 

[mylilnikita]

DUMP HIM! If you aren't good to yourself, don't expect other people to be good to you. It wasn't arrogant or selfish for you to feel that way. This isn't meant to be a male bash thing, but a guy isn't going to continually hire his ex who keeps quitting and is bad for business if he didn't think he would be getting something out of it let alone hire her in the first place knowing how his current gf feels about it.
Women have this extraordinary gift of intuition. Not sure if this will come across the way I want, but you know what the deal is deep down, it is your choice to do something about it. Your intuition will never lie to you.
Best of luck.





OT-Hi Grlpwrd